With the holidays underway I looked far and wide for some holiday related limericks. I found a few but they were absolutely horrible. So, I decided that since every holiday has a feast of one kind or another, today’s collection of limericks will be about food and eating. They are also rated G so the younger readers can enjoy them as well. The juicier limericks will continue after the holidays for all of you poetry connoisseurs. These are circa 1952.
🤶🏻🤶🏻🤶🏻
A diner while dining at Crewe,
Found quite a large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one, too.”
🌲🌲🌲
There once was a pious young priest
Who lived almost wholly on yeast.
“For.” he said “it is plain
We must all rise again,
And I want to get started, at least.
☃️☃️☃️
There was an old person of Dean,
Who dined on one pea and one bean.
For he said, “More than that
Would make me too fat,”
That cautious old person of Dean.
🎄🎄🎄
There was an old lady of Brooking,
Who had a great genius for cooking.
She could bake sixty pies
All quite the same size,
And could tell which was which without looking.
everyuselessthing.com 
💗 You had to know I’d respond to second one , Padre. So here’s a couple more to keep the religious thing going. You, RELIGIOUS? That’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one.
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
A Carmelite nun in a cloister
got drunk and proceeded to roister.
Monsignor O’Shea
came to visit that day
and he opened her up like an oyster.
I know you’ve been craving affection,
But in Lent I can’t have an erection.
But I’ll take some Levitra
And we’ll celebrate Easter, and
The Good Lord’s and my dick’s Resurrection!
Now these are right up your alley!