I’m getting a late start today due primarily to my better-half and her shopping safari. I also just have to mention that wicked and evil nurse who sucked six tubes of blood from me earlier. Truthfully having the blood drawn was way less painful than being the assistant to the shopping fanatic.

All I’ve been hearing for the last few days is football, football, and more football. While I am a fan, it’s becoming a bit much even for me. Today’s limericks are sports related but I’m an equal opportunity spreader of humor. I’ll try for a few that aren’t about football.

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BASEBALL

A batter named Fatty McPhatter,

Had the gift of the gab with his patter.

“Whichever pitch comes,

I hit only home runs –

So, the fact that I’m fat doesn’t matter!”

⚾⚾⚾

The slider just slid past the bag,

And the curveball? Too flat to get at.

The pitcher’s last ball

Was his fastest fastball.

So, I’m three-strikes-and-out. And that’s that.

⛳⛳⛳

GOLF

Golf is a four-letter word.

For a game that is clearly absurd.

Unless what you like

Is a long boring hike,

Dressed up like a half-witted nerd.

⛳⛳⛳

They say that ex-president Taft,

When hit by a golf ball, just laughed,

And said: “I’m not sore,

But although he called “Fore!”

The place where it struck him was aft!

HAPPY NO EFF’ING FOOTBALL TUESDAY