Eight years ago during one of my funky moods I posted a list of 100 things that I hated. All these years later I stumbled on that list and decided it might be worth updating since so many things have happened to change my way of thinking. It would take more brainpower than I have to come up with 100 things that I hate these days because in fact I really hate nothing. But as you well know I’m certainly irritated and annoyed by a hell of a lot of things. I decided to go through my list of 100 step-by-step, taking my time, and reducing that list to just 50.
My first list included many things that were meant to be humorous but I think now I’ll be a little more truthful with myself about the 50 things that annoy or irritate me. Becoming a senior citizen changes a persons perspective on many things never before thought of. I’m now at the point in my life where I can say whatever the hell I want about anything. Make your own list and then match it to mine just to see how far apart we are or aren’t. Here comes the list . . .
Stupid people, dirty fingernails, criminals, backward baseball caps, large groups of people, dumb cashiers, stinky feet, bugs crawling on me, hospitals, Oprah Winfrey, Will Ferrell, women missing teeth, political correctness, liberals, drug users, stinky cheese, Jehovah witnesses, anti-vaxers, vegans, ass kissers, waiting in line, stinky breath, illegal aliens, ugly feet, noisy radios, crowded elevators, screaming brats, texting while driving, saggy pants, granny panties, penis caught in zipper, tailgaters, body odor, ex-wives, nosy people, boogers, clowns, wet farts, bums, night farts, unibrow women, Rosie O’Donnell, performing artists, smell of urine, hairy nipples, yellow nail polish, liars, corpses, jeans with holes, and of course all salesmen.
Believe me it took a lot of mental effort to eliminate 50 from my original list. Many of the ones eliminated just weren’t pertinent any longer and I’m glad I finally was able to trim the list down. Also as you can see by the title of this posting they are no longer things that I hate, just things that are currently major irritants. As you’ll notice, only a few things refer to the pandemic but that could quickly change in the near future.
I have a few things that really bother me. I’m sure you do as well just like everyone else. I try not to let them make me too crazy but there are times I could just scream. Nothing really too earth shattering but just a number of little things that nag at me when I have time to sit and think about them. See if you agree.
Vegans – Why do certain people think that refusing to eat meat or fish makes them special. To be a true vegetarian and to stay healthy requires taking vitamin supplements. I love veggies as much as the next guy but only a fool could believe all the hype we’re constantly hearing. Get a clue people. Human beings are classified as omnivores for a reason. We’ve developed to the top of the food chain because of our ability to survive and flourish by eating a variety of both meats and vegetables. Extremes of any kind tend to be a problem for me and this is the perfect example. Oh yeah one more thing, if you’ve ever spent any time at all around Vegans you know their farts are the worst. Eat a burger stinky.
Organic food – This may be the biggest scam going. Slapping an organic label on just about anything gives companies the right to increase prices by at least thirty percent. I’m enough of a skeptic to believe that no checking is really done to verify those claims. Maybe in the future when I make homemade salsa, pickles, apple butter, and other products I’ll label them as organic. It wouldn’t be totally true but who cares. It’s all about making certain people feel like their eating healthy and making them pay for the privilege.
Pre-owned Cars – This is politically correct BS that just makes me crazy. Truth in advertising be damned. A freaking used car is a freaking used car. It’s not pre-owned or anything else. I suspect that once used cars became pre-owned the price just may have suddenly increased overnight. I’d like to meet the fast talking used car salesman that came up with that idea. He should be arrested and then beaten severely about the head and shoulders.
Decaf Coffee – I watched a middle aged and reasonably intelligent looking guy order a decaf coffee at a local donut shop recently and then watched the cashier write on the cup "Decaf". He immediately told the cashier to add a turbo shot of expresso to it as well. He must be married to a woman who requires him to drink only decaf coffee which will help him live fifteen minutes longer. He takes this approach so he can show her the cup to verify his purchase of decaf. If people realized how most decaf coffee was made they’d never drink it again. If you’re going to drink decaf, why bother drinking coffee at all.
Jehovah Witnesses – I’m not religious and having these folks show up unannounced and uninvited on my door step just pisses me off. For years I’d just tell them to go away and stop bothering me. Then I wised up and decided to play along with their routine. On one occasion I was dressed only in a pair of shorts on one hot summer afternoon. A young man and a young woman showed up and I cordially invited them in. As I sat there half naked listening to a few minutes of their bible readings I then went into my routine. I began asking them for all kinds of sexual advice since I was having serious problems with both my wife and my mistress. They were gone within minutes and I was never visited again while I lived there. It was fun too!
Push Up Bras – Let me qualify this one a little. I love shapely women or should I say I’ve loved shapely women but the trend these days with push-up bras is out of control. The last thing I need to see is a fourteen year old teenage girl who has yet to develop hips running around with what little boobs she has pushed up until they’re damn near rubbing on her chin. Just as bad are the adult women who shall we say are well endowed to start with but then wear a push-up bra to make it creepy and nasty looking. Stop the madness girls. Being a bit more subtle is way more sexier than what we’re seeing now.
These are just a few of the things that make me a little crazy. I’ll bet anything that if you’re honest with yourself your list is much longer than mine. Does my whining help fix these issues, not a chance. I have to admit it makes me feel a whole lot better venting to you.
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