For as long as I can remember my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, assured me that to have a good and satisfying life I needed to work hard and make appropriate sacrifices. I got years of that propaganda loaded with a lot of generalizations. As a preteen when I pressed for more detailed information they just patted me on the head and offered very little useful tips. When I got a little older I just got a pat on the back from my mom and a official-grownup handshake from my father. What I really needed was meaningful guidance to help me escape from the western Pennsylvania lifestyle and mindset offering a future much like that of my parents. I worked it out as best I could over the years but I could have used some advice early on that would have helped me. Here are a few tips taken from a 1970’s book on “How to be Successful in the 70’s”. Go back in time and answer the following questions with a “True” or “False”. There’s no right or wrong answers but they can get you thinking.
The vast majority of the truly unsuccessful or unemployed today are art least 80% responsible for their difficulties.
When provided with good education the majority (80%) can accomplish reasonable success in any vocation they choose and really want.
Ones mental heath state of mind is almost totally what you make it with your personal attitude and strength of character.
One’s ethical and moral conduct in a particular situation is purely a function of the character and moral fiber a person brings to the temptation.
Bad environments do effect persons negatively, but only if they choose it and allow it to pull them down.
Everyone is basically the captain of his own ship called life. He can steer it where and how he wants it to go, in most ways.
I’m certainly glad I wasn’t handed this little book as I was maturing. It would have offered me very little helpful assistance all too similar from what I was hearing from my family.
As most of you are aware I love using quotes to make an interesting point and they’re usually of a complimentary nature. Todays post will change that. These are quotes from recognizable people who don’t appear to be as happy about things as we all thought they were. I’m providing a selection of quotes concerning the Media and other related matters that might be considered somewhat negative. I live for the negative, how about you?
Newspapers
“The most truthful part of a newspaper is the advertisements.” Thomas Jefferson
“In the old days men had the rack. Now they have the press.” Oscar Wilde
“Newspapermen ask dumb questions. They look up at the sun and ask you if it’s shining.” Sonny Liston
“Looking at yourself through the media is like looking at one of those rippled mirrors in an amusement park.” Edmund Muskie
Publishers & Journalists
“Jack Anderson is the lowest form of human being to walk the earth. He’s a muckraker who lies, steals, and he’ll go lower than dog shit for a story.” J. Edgar Hoover
“Dorothy Kilgallen is the only woman I wouldn’t mind my wife catching me with. I don’t know why she took such umbrage at my comments on birth control, she’s such a living argument for it.” Johnny Carson
“If Hugh Hefner truly thinks that being spread-eagled is so fantastic, how come we haven’t seen his little wahoo with a staple in the middle?” CBS-TV
Television
“Acting on television is like being asked by the captain to entertain the passengers while the ship goes down.” Peter Ustinov
“Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.” Eric Sevaride
“I find television very educating. Every time someone turns on the set I go into the other room and read a book.” Groucho Marx
“TV is a medium, because it is neither rare nor well done.” Ernie Kovacs
Education
“Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.” Bob Dylan
“Our American professors like their literature clear and cold and pure and dead.” Sinclair Lewis
“The schools ain’t what they used to be and never was.” Will Rogers
❤️Anonymous (always the best)❤️
“Tabloids are fast reading for the slow thinkers.”
“The mission of the modern newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”
Doctors bury mistakes. Lawyers hang them. But journalists put theirs on the front page.”
“Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults but for having faults different from theirs.”
“You can tell a Harvard man, but you can’t tell him much.”
Todays post will contain a few little known facts about everything. There’s no theme just twenty odd bits of information you might find interesting. Lets get started . . .
Cable television was introduced in Pennsylvania in 1948.
The first drive-in movie theater was constructed in Camden, NJ in 1933.
Talcum powder kills ants.
A cats sense of smell is fourteen times more acute than that of a human.
William Henry Harrison had the shortest term in office as President. He passed away just thirty-one days after his inauguration.
The first umbrella factory was established in Baltimore, Maryland in 1928.
Musicians Billy Joel, singer Wayne Newton, and actor Cary Grant were all high school dropouts
The jackfruit which is indigenous to India, can weigh as much as a hundred pounds.
The native name for Greenland is Kalaallit.
Kilimanjaro, the highest mountain in Africa, rises to the height of 19,431 feet.
FDR had the first presidential airplane but it wasn’t called Air Force One until JFK was elected.
To convert degrees Fahrenheit to Celsius, subtract 32 degrees and divide by 1.8.
The minimum wage instituted in 1938 in the United States was $.25 an hour.
Peter Merholtz is credited with coming up with the term “blog”.
Pu Yi was two years old when he became the Emperor of China in 1908. He abdicated the throne 6 years later.
In 1780 Pennsylvania became the first state to abolish slavery.
The first professional basketball game was held in 1896 in Trenton, NJ.
Coco Chanel named her perfume Chanel #5 because five was her lucky number.
Pornography is the Greek word for “the writings of prostitutes.”
Most people dream for two hours in an eight hour night of sleep.
I’m posting today from my living room on an old and somewhat unreliable laptop, It’s unreliable because it’s incredibly slow. My man-cave has been taken over by a gentleman who is spending this week removing our twenty year old heating sysytem and replacing it with a new and updated unit. Unfortunately for me that unit is in my man-cave and I was told to vacate the area by my better-half. So I hope to post this by the end of the day. Todays post contains three dirty jokes. Since we all need a little humor everyday it shouldn’t matter if they are a little corny and silly. These jokes were discovered in a book from an obscure on-line bookstore and were published in 1976. Lame and a little out of date but still humorous. Enjoy them . . .
😀😄😁😂
So this elderly couple were sitting in their tiny cold water flat on the lower Easr Side when the husband said, “Doris we’re in bad shape, inflation has eaten up our Social Security check. The next one isnt due for a week and we’ve got no money for food.” “Could I do anything to help?” she asked.”Yes” he said. “I hate to see you do this but it’s the only way, You’re going to have to go out on the street and hustle.” “Me?” she said “At the age of sixty-five.?” “It’s the only way,” he said. Resigned to the situation she put on a short skirt and went out into the cold night. She came staggering in early the next morning and he asked, “How did you do?” “Here”, she said “I’ve got four dollars and ten cents.” “Four dollars and ten cents, who in the hell gave you the ten cents?” “Everybody.” she said.
This fellow rushed into a crowed tavern on Saturday night, Men and women stood three-deep at the bar. Our man, who felt nature calling strongly, lookd around but couldn’t see anyting emotely resembling a bathroom. He saw a stairway and bounded up the steps to the second floor in his increasingly desperate search. Just as his bowels theatened to erupt, he spotted a one-foot by one-foot hole in the floor. Now, at the end of his control, he decided to take advantagee of the hole. He dropped his pants, hunched over it, and did his thing. Thoroughly relieved and relaxed, he sauntered down the steps to find, that the bar that had been so crowded a few minutes ago, was now empty. “Hey!” he yelled to the seemingly empty room, “Where is everyone?” From behind the bar a voice responded, “Where were you when the shit hit the fan?”
😂😁😄😀
Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor. Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He’d do pushup and somersaults to limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just laid around on their fat asses not doing a thing. One day, one of them became curious to ask Stanley why he exercised so much. Stanly said, “Look pal, only one sperm gets a woman pregnant and when the right time comes, I’m going to be that one.” A few days later they felt themselves getting hotter and hotter, it was getting to be their time to go. They were released abruptedly and, sure enough, there was Stanley swimming far ahead of the others. All of a sudden, Stanley stopped, turned around, and began swimming back with all his might. “GO BACK! GO BACK!,” he screamed,it’s a blow job.
Well the weather has taken an unfriendly turn into winter. The electric blanket has been officially plugged in and the heavy clothing is being unpacked and aired out. I have the distinct feeling that this winter may be one to remember and I hope I’m wrong. Rather than thinking thoughts of the coming winter I’ll do as I always do – POST MORE LIMERICKS. I’ve dug into the archives once again to retrieve a few winners that should not be read by the youngsters. I’d rate these as PG or worse. Here goes nothing . . .
Living in Maine is always an adventure especially concerning the changing weather patterns. Lots of snow, lots of wind, lots of ice, and lots of SNERT (melted snow mixed with dirt). I’ve always been a fan of cold weather and snow but my first three years in Maine gave me an entirely new perspective. My first winter purchase in Maine was a kick-ass snow blower which has become over the years my best winter friend. Other required purchases were skis, snow shoes, and layered clothing. I loved taking winter photos in the forests but that was taken to a whole other level when the snow was more than two feet deep. Todays post will be a list of weather related facts that might interest you. Mother Nature is a real bitch and she visits Maine and New England way too frequently.
Snow fell for thirty-six hours in New York in 1888. The storm dropped 50 inches of snow and became known as Great Blizzard of 1888.
Mt. Washington in New Hampshire holds the world-record of 231 mph wind gusts measured on the summit on April 12, 1934.
The Farmers Almanac lists various information, including information on the best days to castrate animals, to quit smoking, and to can jellies and jams.
Hurricane-force winds (74+ mph) occur on average every other day on Mt. Washington during the winter months.
The Blizzard of 1978 paralyzed New England for a week, dropping 27.1 inches of snow in Boston and over 40 inches in parts of Rhode Island, Massachusetts and Maine. Severe flooding occurred as the storm stalled off Long Island, combining hurricane-force wind gusts (up to 93 mph) with four destructive high-tide cycles. 99 fatalities were recorded across the states, with thousands of stranded motorists left on major highways throughout New England.
Ice storms are also common in Maine and our last major storm a few years back brought down thousands of trees and left us without electricity, water, and internet, for more than two weeks. Unfortunately that was before we purchased our whole-house generator. We did learn how to sleep with five or six blankets on the bed while wearing parkas, tassel hats, and ear muffs.
All of that being said I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. Maine is a beautiful state regardless of Mother Nature’s whims and the seacoast and beaches are second to none. It’s called America’s Vacationland for a reason.
I have to admit that most of my readers are rather particular about the limericks I post. Of all of my posts, the dirtiest limericks seem to get the most views while the readership lessens considerably the cleaner the limericks become. That should tell me something about my readers but I’m not actually sure what that is. Todays offerings contain some really old limericks that concern sexual DISEASES. That’s all I’m saying, see what you think.
As I spend a great deal of my day sitting at this computer, it gives me time to think and possibly overthink everything. I feel like I have a comprehensive view of the world and all of it’s effed up citizens and countries. The more you discover about the human race the worse it seems to get. If the World Cup didn’t tell all of us Americans just how lucky we are in comparison to every other country on earth, just listen to their citizens as they post about us. Americans do more pissing and moaning about their circumstances and never fail to trash American at every turn. These visiting Europeans are setting a fine example for all of our disgruntled Americans. They’ve been lied to for decades about this country and realized it almost immediately upon their arrival. The “bitchers and moaners” in this country should be required to spend a couple of weeks anywhere else and maybe just maybe they’ll gain a better perspective about their home. Take thousands of dollars of your hard earned money and attend the next World Cup. Pay for travel, food, lodging, and entry fees and then get back to me. Just be careful and don’t drink the water. LOL
“Good leaders make for good countries.” ME!
“High sentiments always win in the end. The leaders who offer blood, toil, tears and sweat always get more out their followers than those who offer safety and a good time. When it comes to the pinch, human beings are heroic.” George Orwell
“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.” Gen. George S. Patton Jr.
“I am more afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion than an army of lions led by a sheep.” Talleyrand
“My view is that to sit back and let fate play it’s hand and never influence it is not the way man was meant to operate.” John Glenn
“Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way.” Abraham Lincoln
I hate to admit it but I seem to have had a life-long addictive personality disorder. For more than fifteen years I was dangerously addicted to cigarettes and it took a fast ride to a hospital in an ambulance to convince me to stop smoking once and for all. Over the intervening years I developed minor addictions to marijuana, Scotch whiskey, potato chips, ice cream, and a dozen other small unimportant matters. I thought after all of my many years I had finally won the battle against worthless and annoying addictions but once again I was wrong. Since retirement I’ve discovered two of my newest and bothersome addictions: Amazon and The Internet.
If your not as mobile as you once were (due to old age) as I am currently, the Internet is eye opening in its wide range of idiots, morons, scammers and its endless supply of bullshit artists to keep me occupied for the foreseeable future. My window on the world is very small now and truly annoying but it’s all I have. My better-half has joined the ranks of the addicted and spends a lot of her time researching endless gardening information sites and searching for odd and strange recipes to make my dining a real adventure.
We live in an area that requires us to take special steps just to have just a working cell phone and Internet connection. Without that connection we’d have no television, no Internet, and no W-Fi. Since GPS doesn’t work very well in this area either I hope I never have a life threatening emergency. If I do I will die a really pissed off customer. Unfortunately an incident occurred earlier this week that started another round of craziness when we lost all Internet and Wi-Fi signals. My better-half found it necessary to drive our car for two miles to get a usable wi-fi signal, and then spent a half hour trying to find a human being to talk with about our continuing problem. All of these company computers and personnel still can’t seem to ever answer our most important question “Why isn’t this damn system working?”. When it was all said and done we had to wait two more hours for a repairman to show up at our home. They had us checking OUR equipment because their computer assured them that everything was operational on their end. They still forgot that one important thing again: WHY WE STILL DIDN’T HAVE ANY DAMN INTERNET, NO DAMN WIFI, AND NO DAMN TELEPHONE SERVICE. I suggested to the repairman that maybe it was their equipment and not ours.
Frustrating, YOU BET. Come to find out we’d been given a low level (cheap) modem when we began their service contract a year ago and that modem was apparently faulty. All of our troubles magically disappeared a few minutes later when the repairman plugged in a newer and updated modem. Here’s the kicker. As I watched all of my equipment humming along and finally running fine and saw that Internet entry screen reappear, I found my face a little flushed, had a huge rush of adrenaline, and a strange tingling all over my body. It was my introduction to my latest and scariest addiction ever – computer driven orgasms. Now I can have an illicit affair with my hardrive whenever I want or need to. Isn’t technology wonderful? LOL
I did a lot of reminiscing today as I was leafing through many old files and folders from my early years a a police officer. As I reviewed these documents I was truly amazed just how much paperwork I still retained from those “good old days”. I found a few things that were really old but still really funny. The following statements were supplied to actual police officer’s and were copied directly from their official accident reports. As always the truth is stranger than fiction.
WOMEN
“I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became smashed.”
“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.”
“I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.”
“A invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and then vanished.”
“I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end and there was a crash.”
🚘🚓🚛
MEN
“I saw the slow moving, sad faced, old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.”
“A truck backed into my windshield into my wife’s face.”
“In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”
“The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”
“The other car attempted to cut in front of me, so I, with my right front bumper, removed his left rear tail light.”
“When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.”
🚗🚘🚙
Welcome to the OMG club. Now you’ve heard it all too.
