Archive for May 2022

05/26/2022 “War is Hell”   Leave a comment

I’ve been watching the news from Russia and the Ukraine rather closely, as I suspect everyone has. The motivation for the conflict by Putin is something we can only guess at. Of course, he wants power, and he wants to rebuild the USSR and return to his glory days which were the days of his youth. Of course, a lot of his motivation is economic as well but it’s a full-time job struggling with his massive ego. In my opinion he’s done nothing but “shoot himself in the foot” or in more crasser terms “he stepped on his dick”. Not being a professional politician it’s only possible for me to guess at these things. I prefer to look for answers from an expert who knew about wars, up close and personal.

George Washington was an American military officer, statesman, and Founding Father who served as the first president of the United States from 1789 to 1797. Appointed by the Continental Congress as commander of the Continental Army, Washington led the Patriot forces to victory in the American Revolutionary War.

George Washington (1732 – 1799) from a letter to John Bannister, 21 April 1778

“Men may speculate as they will, they may talk of patriotism; they may draw a few examples from ancient story, of great achievements performed by its influence; but whoever builds upon it as a sufficient Basis for conducting a long and (bloody) War will find themselves deceived in the end . . . A great and lasting War can never be supported on this principle alone. It must be aided by a prospect of Interest or some reward. For a time, it may of itself push Men to Action, to bear much, to encounter difficulties; but it will not endure unassisted by Interest.”

I would hate to surprise and shock everyone when I say this loudly for all to hear:

PUTIN, YOU’RE NO GEORGE WASHINGTON

05/25/2022 “Flying High”   Leave a comment

Let me start by saying I hate flying. Over the last 30 years I must’ve flown 500 times while working for a number of companies. It was “white knuckle” all the way for me, every flight, every airline. I had no choice but to fly but I didn’t like it one bit and still don’t. It was not the actual flying that bothered me, only the people flying the plane. I’m too much of a control freak to be comfortable having someone else with my life in their hands and that’s never going to change. Since we’re talking about airplanes today here are a few tidbits about the history of aviation.

  • Twenty-one of the first twenty-three astronauts who flew on space missions were either an only child or were firstborn sons.
  • The first aerial photograph was taken from a balloon during the United States Civil War.
  • After the first moon walk, in 1969, Pan American Airlines began accepting reservations for commercial flights to the moon, dates and time unspecified. More than 80,000 requests poured in immediately.
  • The first coast-to-coast airplane flight in the United States from New York City to Pasadena, California, by Galbraith P. Rogers in 1911, took 49 days. Obviously, there were many, many stops.
  • After the Wright brothers had flown four times on that historic day in 1903 at Kitty Hawk, a gust of wind overturned and wrecked their wooden flyer. They stuffed the pieces and fabric coverings into barrels and shipped them back to their bicycle shop in Dayton Ohio.
  • A German inventor placed an engine on an aircraft in 1900 and flew it successfully, three years before the Wright brothers. The inventor was Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin, but the aircraft was not heavier than air. Von Zeppelin had invented the dirigible – the “Zeppelin”.
  • The first “airmail” letter in the United States was written by President George Washington, who gave it to the Frenchman, John Pierre Blanchard, to carry with him on the first balloon flight in America.
  • Astronauts circling the earth may get to see 16 sunrises and 16 sunsets every day.
  • The first freight shipped by air from Chicago was loaded under an armed guard. Handled by National Air Transport, in 1927, the item was a “ten gallon” Stetson hat to be delivered to Will Rogers, the popular comedian.
  • A 31-year-old airplane mechanic named Douglas Corrigan took off in his monoplane from Floyd Bennett Field in New York in July 1938, and supposedly headed towards his home in California. The next day he landed in Ireland, saying, “I guess I flew the wrong way.” He became famous, paraded down Broadway, made a movie, and earned the nickname that stuck with him from then on, “Wrong Way Corrigan”.

HAPPY FLYING

05/24/2022 Hmmmmm!   Leave a comment

JUDGE REARRESTS LIMERICK ADDICT

After requesting limericks from readers yesterday I really didn’t expect too much of a response. Much to my surprise at 1:15 am I received the following limerick from an anonymous reader. The email was a one liner, “Here’s my favorite feminist limerick.” And here it is just as received:

There was young lady of Wheeling

Who professed a lack of sexual feeling.

But a cynic named Boris

Just touched her clitoris,

And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

I love anything that makes me laugh out loud and this limerick did. I’m not sure who exactly emailed it, but it has a definite female feel. What do you think?

And to end this post on a fun note, a happy yet stupid newspaper headline.

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

(Space gas . . . who knew?)

HAVE A GREAT DAY

05/23/2033 More Kid Limericks   1 comment

I’ve rounded up a few more limericks written exclusively by the youngest generation. I’m constantly amazed just how well they construct their limericks. When I was their age, I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to match their skills. Enjoy . . .

Belinda Kellett – Age 8

There was a young lad he named Tony

Who ate plates of fried macaroni.

He got very fat,

But he didn’t mind that,

‘Cos, he bounced when he sat on his pony.

☘☘☘

Audrey Freeland – Age 12

There was a young fellow called Fred

Had an elephant sit on his head.

Where the elephant sat,

Fred’s head grew quite flat,

But Fred didn’t care, he was dead!

☘☘☘

Christine Tailby – Age 7

There was a young lady of Leeds

Who was constantly doing good deeds.

As she bit her young brother,

She said to her mother

“I’ll bind up the wound if it bleeds!”

☘☘☘

Ron Rubin (Unk Age)

As he shrugged and made room on her tuffet,

He whooped: “You’re my lunch, dear Ms. Muffet!”.

Then the monstrous tarantula

Began to dismantle her,

And that’s how Ms. M came to snuff it.

😃😂😁😀😉🙂😛

If any of you happen to have a favorite limerick, email it to me at (everyuselessthing2@yahoo.com) and I’ll post it. Better yet, if you write your own just sent it along and get credit for your work. Don’t be shy, everything here is done just for the fun of it.

MORE TO COME

05/22/2022 Hollywood Trivia   2 comments

Since the weather for the last two weeks has been iffy, I’ve been forced to binge watch a boatload of movies. Some were good, some were bad, and some were just awful. As much as I enjoy the current crop of movies with all of their special effects, I still enjoy going back 40 or 50 years and watching some of the classics. I hope the weather changes soon because truthfully, I’m getting really tired of watching movies. With that thought in mind I decided to offer up some good old movie trivia facts. I hope you find a few things that surprise you.

  • We all loved that high squeaky voice that Mickey Mouse had in his early movies. The person responsible for that voice is none other than Walt Disney himself.
  • In a charity event in 1984, Elton John was featured as ‘Mother Goose’. Sir John Gielgud costarred as the Egg Yolk.
  • In the Muppet Movie, Miss Piggy’s singing voice was dubbed by Johnny Mathis.
  • In his early years, Dean Martin, boxed under the name Kid Crochet.
  • In the 1939 film, The Return of Dr. X, one of the zombies was played by Humphrey Bogart.
Jor-el
  • In the 1931 film Public Enemy starring Jimmy Cagney, the musical theme of the movie was “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles”.
  • The famous actor John Barrymore had a vulture for a pet that would sit on his knee and hiss.
  • The beautiful Belgian born Audrey Hepburn changed her name from Edda van Heemstra upon her arrival in Hollywood.
  • Temperamental star Marlon Brando’s was paid 3.7 million dollars for his brief appearance as Jor-el in the first Superman movie. He also sued the production company and received another 15 million for his share of the box-office receipts.
  • In the 1920’s film Every Sailor, one of the beautiful and talented chorus girls in the show was Jimmy Cagney.

BINGE AWAY, PEOPLE

05/21/2022 “Choppers”   Leave a comment

Do you love going to the dentist like I do? I’ll bet you don’t, because most people would rather do anything than have strangers with their hands in your mouth drilling and poking and prodding and all of the associated fun of dental visits. I spent much more of my life in the dentist’s chair than I ever thought possible starting when I was 14 years old and had most of my front teeth knocked out while playing in a backyard football game. That was back in the day before mouthguards were even something anyone knew about, and it only cost me about six teeth and a lifetime of partial plates and dentist visits. You put forth what effort you must to maintain a reasonable appearance because as we all know bad teeth are not going to attract the opposite sex. Over the centuries there have been some strange superstitions about teeth. Some may be true and others ridiculous and here they are . . .

  • Don’t trust people with pointed teeth regardless of how charming they are! You never know, vampires traditionally have pointed teeth and it’s best not to take any chances.
  • People with obvious spaces between their teeth will be lucky, wealthy, and widely traveled. This was a common belief before orthodontists.
  • People who have well-placed teeth with no gaps have fine singing voices.
  • People with protruding teeth will live a short life. Remember, these were the days before braces.
  • Breaking a tooth is a sure sign a friend will die.
  • Those of you who have teeth with few cavities have a good deal of sexual strength. If you have teeth susceptible to cavities, you are prone to sexual weakness.
  • It’s bad luck to count the teeth of a baby. But if a baby is born with teeth, he or she will be a famous adult but only if you don’t count them.
  • It’s bad luck for a man with false teeth to marry a woman with false teeth. The marriage will be unhappy.
  • The ancients had a number of talismans to avoid a toothache. Split open a nutshell. Dig out the meat but be careful to keep the two halves intact. Put a dead spider in one half and close up the shell. Hang it around your neck on a string and you will never have another toothache.
  • Always carry a wolf’s tooth with you. You will never get a toothache.
  • Last but not least, if you cut your fingernails on a Friday, you will not have a toothache for a month.

There you have it, the wisdom of the ages concerning teeth. There’s only one thing I know for certain. If I had all of the money I’ve spent on my teeth, I could’ve bought that Lamborghini that remains on my bucket list.

KEEP SMILING

05/20/2022 ☘Dirty Limerick Alert☘   1 comment

I was awakened at 2:30 this morning by one of those annoying Mother Nature calls. I visited her briefly and upon returning to my bed, tried to fall back asleep. During those few minutes of half-sleep some of the words of the following limerick popped into my head. I made a quick note in my cell phone and went to sleep. This morning a did a little editing and the finished limerick was born. I have absolutely no idea where or why it came to me but here it is. This is for all of you limerick and nursery rhyme aficionados.

JACK & JILL

Jack and Jill climbed up a hill on Nantucket.

He brought a few condoms and she an old bucket.

The bucket was tossed, and Jill’s virginity was lost,

When she decided to fuket not suket.

(Who needs water anyway.)

❤❤❤

❤❤

🌻🌷R.I.P. Courtney🌷🌻

05/19/2022 Freaking Numbers   Leave a comment

You mentioned number freaking a few times over the past few years and it still fascinates me. The statistics and information compiled by number for readers boggles the mind or at least my mind. Their calculations are out there a little bit but interesting, nonetheless. Here are a few to tickle your fancy.

  • Theoretically you would have 4.72 sextillion bacteria in your body within 24 hours of being infection by a bug.
  • It would take 587 ticks simultaneously sucking to suck a man dry.
  • The average flow of water over Niagara Falls is 1,585,032 US gallons per second. It would take Niagara Falls 119 years, 293 days, to fill all five of the Great Lakes.
  • It is estimated that 45,000 Americans are injured by toilets every year. That calculates out to one injury every 18 minutes, 12 seconds.
  • A recent TV ad for a chain of optometrists claimed we each capture 24 million images with our eyes in a lifetime. Life expectancy in the US is approximately 77 years which calculates out to 101.2 seconds per image over the course of a lifetime.
  • There are about 109 million US households. The total amount spent by US advertisers every year is about $248 billion, of which the amount spent annually on TV advertisement is about $57 billion. That calculates TV advertising to approximately $522.94 household.
  • Approximately 152,467 square miles of the United States has been urbanized.
  • A wireless network across all of urbanized America would cost approximately 1 dollar per week per household. It would cost approximately $22.87 billion to operate such a network.
  • A golf course uses the same amount of freshwater as a town of 12,000 people.
  • On average a person will drink 31,996.52 quarts of water in a lifetime. With an average bathtub holding 528.34 quarts of water, you would be able to fill 60.56 bathtubs.
  • The land area in the United States, excluding lakes, is 3,536,294 square miles. If suddenly and without warning all of America’s convicted prisoners were to escape and disperse themselves equally across the country, each felon would require 1.66 square miles of land.

This is what happens when I have a slow news day and a lack of motivation to post. I’ll throw a few more of number freaking calculations your way as time goes on and I find some that are titillating.

ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND

05/18/2022 Lost American Trivia   Leave a comment

I’ve been offering up quite an assortment of trivia these last few weeks about all sorts of different topics. Today I thought I’d throw some more out there concerning our great country. Odd tidbits of forgotten American history.

  • The kitchen is the scene of the greatest number of arguments in an American household.
  • 1913 was the first year that motor vehicle registrations surpassed a million. There were 1,258,070 vehicles registered – 1,190,393 of them passenger cars; 67,677 of them were trucks and buses.
  • In 1960 the citizens of Hot Springs New Mexico voted to rename their town in or honor of a popular radio show. It is now called Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.
  • Patience and Fortitude are the names given to the two lions in front of the New York Public Library thanks to Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia.
  • The average American motorist spends approximately 6 months of his or her life waiting for red lights to turn green.
  • The clock on the reverse side of the $100 bill shows Independence Hall. Time on the hall clock is 4:10.
  • The state of Arkansas has towns named Athens, Carthage, Damascus, Egypt, England, Formosa, Hamburg, Havana, Holland, Jerusalem, London, Manila, Melbourne, Oxford, Palestine, Paris, Scotland, and Stuttgart.
  • The first Gallup poll was taken by George Gallup in a survey to find the prettiest girl on campus at the University of Iowa, where he was editor of the student newspaper in the early 1920s. Gallup ended up marrying the winner, Ophelia Smith.
  • Mount Katahdin in Maine has the unique distinction of being the first spot in the United States to be touched by the rays of the rising Sun.
  • The New York City weather forecast on the day of the Great Blizzard of 1888 was “Clearing and colder, proceeded by light snow.” The city was hit with 20.9 inches of snow and a temperature of -6°F.

MORE TRIVIA IS COMING SOON

05/17/2022 🩸”Jig Saw”🩸   Leave a comment

It’s Tuesday morning and I just finished my first cup of coffee which by the way didn’t help one bit. I’m still tired because I haven’t been sleeping well for about a week. My latest addiction is haunting me through the nighttime hours and happily it’s over today. I wish I could explain how weird my dreams have become for the last week. Fortunately for me I can’t remember every graphic detail because they are so freaky. They have the ability to stay alive in my head long after I’ve gone to sleep, and it makes for one God awful night.

Enough with this cryptic nonsense, for the last week I’ve been watching all seven movies of the SAW series. For seven nights the last thing I see before going to bed has been one solid hour of extremely detailed and graphic violence. What’s a little mayhem, bloodletting, and chopped off limbs among friends? On top of all of that my fear of clowns has been reinvigorated.

It’s even having an effect on my recreational abilities. I’ve been working on an exceptionally difficult jigsaw puzzle and just sitting in a dark and quiet house focusing totally on that puzzle has me looking over my shoulder and jumping at every sound the house continues to make. Up until a week ago I had only seen the first movie of the series. I thought it was gory, scary, and all of those things you expect in a horror movie. I certainly don’t recommend binge watching seven hours of what the SAW series brings to the screen. It is nice to know that a lot of Hollywood’s actors and actresses were probably lining up around the block so they can be butchered and killed in a SAW movie.

THANK GOD IT’S OVER (LOL)

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