Archive for the ‘Useless Crap’ Category

07-19-2017 Presidential Thoughts and Other C.R.A.P   2 comments

Now that Mr. Trump has been elected it’s been a real treat watching the Liberals and Mainstream Media losing their minds.  The truth about media bias is no longer the big secret it once was except for those of us who have been paying attention for years. I thought after a few months of this nonsense it would gradually ease up but it hasn’t. They continue to chew on that dried up old bone until their brains explode. I’m a patient guy who will gladly wait around to watch their continuous escapades to strike out at Mr. Trump with little or no success.

This next item was sent to me by a friend. The first line is a the Medias lame attempt to belittle the President as being nothing more than a former reality television star.  The fact that he is also a billionaire real estate developer is never mentioned.

Senator (To Be) Caitlyn Jenner

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Caitlyn Jenner has joined the list of celebrities who are considering running for political office in the United States following the election of former reality television star Donald Trump as president. 

The remainder of the article concerned a short list of celebrities just dying to enter the political arena to teach the rest of us mouth-breathers just how things are supposed to be done.  I say let them try.  If we can have Obama for eight years and survive, we can live with Senator Caitlyn Bruce Jenner,  Senator Kid Rock, or God forbid, President Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  Just more humorous shit to enjoy as the country slowly slides towards some sort of Third-World status. Maybe we could start a new type of NATO organization to help keep us safe from our enemies. It could be called CRAP, the Cluster of Real Arab Pals.  We could take a firm stand against Europe, China, and Russia with our new allies  Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, Syria, and Saudi Arabia. We could sit around the meeting table and try desperately to convince each other what a bunch of bad asses we once were and how we will eventually rule the world.  It’s much too depressing to contemplate.

I’m trying my hardest to not get into a rant about all of this but it isn’t easy. Let me calm down some and pass along a humorous joke sent my way recently from a friend in Kansas City.  Here it is:

I was walking in the mall and I saw that there was a Muslim bookstore. The sign outside led me to wonder just what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore, so I went in.

As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk gave me the stink eye, but asked if he could help me. I know I didn’t look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump’s book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and illegal aliens?” The clerk said, “Kiss my ass, Get out, and Stay out!”

I said, “Yes, that’s the one. Do you have it in paperback?”

“THIS POSTING HAS BEEN APPROVED BY C.R.A.P.

 

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08-16-2016 Journal – Death Trivia!   Leave a comment

We do a lot of trivia on this site which usually consists of total useless information about totally useless things and people.  Today will be a miscellaneous mish-mash of things I’ve discovered recently.  First is something called the Manner of Death statistics.  It’s a list created by some group somewhere telling us all how we are dying in descending order of frequency. Enjoy!

Heart disease: 614,348
• Cancer: 591,699
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 147,101
Accidents (unintentional injuries): 136,053
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 133,103
Alzheimer’s disease: 93,541
Diabetes: 76,488
Influenza and pneumonia: 55,227
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 48,146
Intentional self-harm (suicide): 42,773

That’s enough to send a cold chill up anyone’s back. The perfect way to start your day.  Next is a list of injury types, hospital data, and a whole lot more.

  • Number of medically attended injury and poisoning episodes in the population: 39.5 million
  • Episodes per 1,000 population: 126.3
  • Number of visits (to physician offices, hospital outpatient and emergency departments) for injuries: 80.1 million (includes visits for adverse effects of drug, medicinal or biological substance)
  • Number of emergency department visits for injuries: 43.0 million (includes visits for adverse effects of medical treatment)
  • Number of discharges for fractures (all sites): 1.1 million
  • Number of discharges for poisonings: 260,000
  • Number of discharges for certain complications of surgical and medical care: 1.0 million

Mortality

Total number of deaths: 192,945

Deaths per 100,000 population: 60.2

Poisoning

Number of poisoning deaths: 48,545

Deaths per 100,000 population: 15.4

Traffic Deaths

Number of deaths: 33,804

Deaths per 100,000 population: 10.7

Firearm Deaths

Number of deaths: 33,636

Deaths per 100,000 population: 10.6

Are you feeling more secure now?  Do you even want to leave the house?  It appears that life in these United States is a real crap shoot.  Roll the dice and hope for the best every time you leave the house.

I admit I’ve depressed myself with this posting so I’ll keep this last item short. On this day in history many people have passed on. Here are two that died on this day that I thought might interest you.

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1948 Babe Ruth, Baseball legend (NY Yankees), dies in NY at 53

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1977 Elvis Presley, American musician, dies at Graceland at 42. Official cause of death is cardiac arrhythmia

I THINK I’LL GO BACK TO BED

07-09-2016 Flea Markets & Other Junk!   Leave a comment

With the better-half’s vacation coming to an end I can see the light at the end of the honey-do list tunnel.  It’s been a great week for use both and to prove it I’m posting a number of miscellaneous photos taken in odd places at odd times. People may call these locations flea markets yard sales or garage sales but let me be a bit more accurate.  It’s more like junk yards, piles of crap, or just plain garbage.  I know I’m being a little harsh but OMG.

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Just what every summer tourist needs . . . snow shoes.

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Then who doesn’t need dishes and glassware at a quarter a piece?

I’ve held two garage sales in my life and I know how I prepared for the shopping public. I unloaded every piece of crap I could find onto tables, priced them for under a dollar, smiled a lot, lowered the prices when necessary, and at the end of the day I made a hundred dollars or so.  Who knew my crap was so in demand.

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Does this look familiar to you?

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How about this.

 I’m not a shopaholic like my better-half and thank god for that.  I can only handle visiting a few of these places before I start to get a little crazy.  It makes me itch all over with imaginary bugs and the smell at times is godawful.

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Does anyone out there really need a POS boat. NO! How about a bunch of nasty looking lobster traps?

P. T. Barnum had it right all along.  As far as suckers go, “There’s one born every minute.

SO TRUE . . . SO TRUE

06-01-2015 Journal– Normalcy Returns!   Leave a comment

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‘Rear Yard Water Feature’

Today I’m celebrating my release from two days of captivity in "computer hell".  All of my network connected items are finally working once again and all is right in my world.

I spent four hours yesterday digging into the software on my main computer in an attempt to find that one little thing that would fix all of my networking problems.  It was a mentally exhausting exercise that really didn’t make me much smarter just more frustrated. 

As I peeled away the layers of this damn computer onion I discovered a lot of settings that are automatically set by the Windows program when working with local networks. After four hours of searching I discovered a small screen that I’d never seen before. I clicked on a small box on that screen which initiated some sort of BS setting, and miracle of miracles, everything began working properly.  I read the small descriptive blurb  near that switch but understood none of it …… but it worked.

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‘It’s amazing what a little rain can do.’

Today is a day of much needed rain and I’m relaxing with the cat in front of the television.  As you can see by the photo’s the rain is quickly turning our property into a jungle. I just finished watching for the umpteenth time, season one of Sherlock. It’s a modernized version of Sherlock Holmes produced by the BBC. It’s my all time favorite recreation of Holmes and believe me I’ve read and seen everything ever made or written about the great detective.  It’s just a great way to spend a lazy and rainy day.

Earlier I prepared an appetizer for our dinner tonight which I hope will be spectacular.  I hollowed out eight fairly large jalapeños, stuffed them with a mixture of cream cheese and spices, and wrapped them in bacon.  I’ll toss them on the grill and crisp them up to start off our meal of roasted chicken. Add a small salad and we’ll should have an excellent meal.   I may even throw in a few tortilla chips and a jar of my home made black bean/corn salsa. That’s hot enough to spice up any meal and to keep your mouth burning for quite a while.

I’m also spending some time planning our two day vacation for next week. It may involve a day of shopping and walking through the Old Town section of Portsmouth, NH, and also visits  to a few local wineries and breweries. It should be a relaxing couple of days if the weather doesn’t screw it up.

04-26-2015 Journal – Gray, Cloudy, and Rainy   Leave a comment

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It’s 6 am and I’m barely awake and I don’t want to get up.  I’m lying here looking out the bedroom window waiting to see if anything in the world is moving yet.  It’s dead quiet with little or no observable breeze. There are no birds, no squirrels, and no fat ugly turkey running around the yard making a racket.  It’s just too quiet for my liking.  My better-half is still sleeping and that light snoring of hers (sarcasm) can’t be considered noise or so she constantly tells me.

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I love the beginnings of Spring and the late days of Fall the most but these interim periods between seasons are the worst.  The Spring transition is always slow in coming when we have nothing but gray skies, cold rain, intermittent sunshine, and a need to stay out of the shade. I can bask in those brief moments of warm sunshine on the deck but if I step into any shaded areas it’s like someone walking across my grave.  A deep cold chill that hits you hard and stays with you way too long. 

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The Fall changeover is similar when you’re sitting on the deck enjoying a warm and sunny Indian Summer day where it’s nice and warm but you can just feel that little bit of Winter in the air. It comes slowly with those giant folds of gray clouds edged in black that slowly roll over the horizon. All of a sudden one morning you’re on the deck and you walk into a patch of shade and that same coldness you felt in the Spring grabs you just for a second. Then everyday you can see the plants slowly browning, the cold dew on everything in the mornings, with the full knowledge that snow is coming soon.  After that you have nothing to look forward to but seven months of a cold and depressing Winter, snow shoveling, black ice, and the occasional slip and fall to bruise your butt and your ego.

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Maybe in another few weeks I’ll be able to pull myself out of this winter/spring funk I’ve gotten into.  I go through this every year and there’s really nothing I can do but deal with it.  I’ll wait patiently for that first really sunny day when I can visit the beach and not feel the need to take my windbreaker "just in case". That may finally convince me that Winter is truly gone.

All that being said, the next few weeks will be hell.  I have absolutely no patience for this never-ending  waiting around for Mother Nature to stop screwing with us.

APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY FLOWERS, I hope!

02-21-2015 Journal–Winter Doldrums!   Leave a comment

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The cat and I have been reduced to bachelor status since my better-half flew off to Delaware until next Tuesday.  She had a death in her family and had to  to drop everything quickly and catch a flight.  I dropped her at the airport in a freaking blizzard and returned home. Three hours later she was still in the plane sitting on the runway waiting for it to be deiced.  Just hearing that made my palms a little sweaty. That late start insured she’d miss her connector in Newark and be forced to stay the night at one of New Jersey’s finer motels. Anything that an airlines agrees to pay for will almost certainly be on the lower end of the luxury scale.  She eventually made it to Baltimore the following day as a much more experienced traveler than when she left.

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I woke up yesterday to a little more snow but it didn’t upset me at all. I tried to get a good nights sleep but the cat was being a huge pain in the ass.  He was upset that my better-half wasn’t there and kept getting up when he heard noises thinking she had come home.  It drove me a little crazy and around 3 am after a few minutes of rude name calling I  locked him out of the bedroom. It truly is a miracle that he’s lived as long as he has because I’ve wanted to kill him on numerous occasions and last night was one of them. He’s definitely used up all of his nine lives by now so he’d better be careful in the future.

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Today I thawed out a large container of my four alarm, OMFG chili and choked it down while watching TV and working on the computer.  I’ve been doing everything possible to convince Windows 8.1 to accept an old computer game from 1995 so I can play it once again.  It’s my all time favorite simulation and Hooray, Hooray, I finally got it working.  The game is called Pharaoh with an add-on called Cleopatra.  It’s still good after all these years and tomorrow I’ll be spending a good part of the day having some fun with it.

The cat has calmed down a little so tonight should be a little quieter. With any luck I’ll be able to get out with my camera tomorrow and commune with good old Mother Nature for a while.  I’d like to get another collection of really good snow photos before winter suddenly comes to an end.

My better-half should be returning on Tuesday after the funeral and I’ll sure be happy about that.

02-19-2015 Journal – Snow Rage!   Leave a comment

For years we’ve all been seeing and hearing about the numerous incidents of road rage that seem to occur daily somewhere in this country.  There are shootings, stabbings, fist fights, and worse reported. Over the years I’ve had two memorable road rage incidents where I was once the aggressor and once the victim. I’m not proud of my actions but for some reason throwing the finger just wasn’t enough at those times. I can understand how those incidents can quickly become hostile and extremely dangerous.  I once had an older gray haired women do her very best to run me off the road into some guard rails with her big Cadillac sedan. I never even received the obligatory one finger salute before she tried to kill me.

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Living in Maine for all these years has made me aware of a local problem somewhat similar to road rage but not quite as serious.  In Maine we have Snow Rage.  With all the snow the northeast has been receiving this year many people in the surrounding states are seeing and experienced it for the first time.

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Since the beginning of the year we’ve been buried in serious amounts of snow and as I cruise around I find myself witnessing many snow rage incidents.  I recently saw a little old man shoveling his driveway entrance after the snow plow almost buried him.  I couldn’t hear exactly what he was yelling but along with the one finger salute was quite the string of obscenities.

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In a nearby town the streets are clogged with snow to the point of insanity. I watched a guy snow blowing large amounts of snow from his driveway back into the city street. With no place to put it he really had no other choice. Unfortunately he failed to see a passing motorist who was pelted with a huge stream of dirty snow across his windshield.  There was a considerable amount of yelling and screaming but as they talked the motorist must have felt a little sympathy for the plight of the home owner.  They shook hands and went on about their business. Violence was avoided by their agreement that there was too much damn snow, that snow plow drivers suck, and the town isn’t getting the streets cleaned like it should.  No guns were pulled or punches thrown as you usually see in some road rage incidents.

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I see and hear many innocent and loud discussions taking place in parking lots all over the area but never any real violence.  We’re all being victimized by good old Mother Nature and regardless of how much we bitch and complain she just doesn’t care. Living in Maine can be trying at times but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

02-17-2015 Journal – Lady, The Tramp, Alvin & Me!   Leave a comment

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There’ll be no photographs today through no fault of my own.  It was one of those days that I had a myriad of totally blah things to do.  At the same time all of those chores were immediately placed on the back burner with the arrival of the grandson who was spending the day with us.

I was up early and on my way to a local auto repair shop for my annual car inspection. I knew there was going to be some added costs to this inspection when I couldn’t get my car started a few days ago.  I made it to the shop, had the inspection completed, installed a new battery, and was on my way home by 9 am, no harm, no foul!

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I arrived back home just after the grandson was dropped off by his mother and things got interesting very quickly.  Let me just say this.  If I ever see the Lady and the Tramp video again I’ll scream out loud.  We also watched Alvin and the Chipmunks and of course Shrek one more blessed time.  That’s four hours of my life I’ll never get back.

Needless to say our young man is beginning to talk a lot. Unfortunately only he really knows what he’s saying.  As we sat and watched Shrek he talked nonstop for ten minutes as he told me something about the movie but I have no clue what it was. He rambled on and on and was laughing and giggling.  I just nodded and smiled when I thought it was necessary and he was thrilled. Maybe someday soon when he’s a little older he’ll explain to me what the hell was so damn funny.  It had something to do with the donkey but that’s about all I really know. He thought it was hysterical. 

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Later I invited him into the kitchen to keep me company while I made us breakfast.  He loved the scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast and couldn’t wait to tell his mother I’d cooked for him.  I was happy to get him into the kitchen at such a young age because it’ll make it so much easier to teach him how to cook on down the road.  Once I tell him that most women love a man who can cook for them he’ll be hooked just like I was.

He just left with his mom, had an armload of movies, and a few stories to tell his dad later tonight. He’s just so much fun to spend time with but now it’s time for a serious nap because he wears me out.

02-13-2015 Journal – You’ve Got Mail–NOT!   Leave a comment

Another day in the deep freeze that is Maine. I keep bitching about all of the snow but each day I’m also anticipating and hoping for a few snow free days. We had three or four inches of snow yesterday which this year is like nothing at all. I’ve been constantly trying to widen the driveway in order to have more room for the new snow that’s coming but it’s a losing battle. Here are a few mailbox related photo’s.  None of them are my mail box because it was totally destroyed by the snow plow in the last storm.  I have only a bag full of pieces left.

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‘This is as good as you can hope for.’

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‘This delusional neighbor honestly thought these red streamers would help.’

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‘You’ve Got Mail – NOT’

I checked the weather forecast last night and OMFG was I sorry I did. A new storm is on the way and is forecast to drop somewhere in the area of two more feet on us on Saturday and Sunday.  To add insult to injury they’re predicting wind gusts of fifty mph which should make for some humongous snow drifts and ball freezing wind chills.  The drifts could possibly get as high as six feet or more.

With all of that good news coming our way I’m going to spend this snow free Friday preparing for the coming storm and also our celebration of Valentines Day.  I’ve completed my shopping for Valentines Day gifts and if it snows a few feet we’ll have lots of snuggling time to be sure. 

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My better-half made arrangements last night for a heating oil delivery this morning and I’m patiently waiting for the truck to get here.  I spent a half-hour last night digging a path from the driveway around the side of the house to where the oil tank nozzle is located. If we don’t have a path properly cleared they won’t deliver the oil. I’m always cooperative especially when I have no freaking choice.

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The next chore is to make a quick trip out for a few gallons of gas for the snowblower. With all this snow on the way the blower will be getting a serious workout and I certainly don’t want to run out of fuel.  I’d have a heart attack and die if I was forced to shovel all this white crap by hand.  We’ve stocked up on food and checked the generator to make sure we’ll have power if there’s an outage.  Just a normal process we must adhere to for any large winter storm here in Maine.  Then we can sit back, watch the snow pile up, and pray for Spring to arrive.

I heard on the news yesterday that we’ve had between seventy and eighty inches of snow since the first of the year which even in Maine is outrageous. It should make for some really cool photographs and I intend to take as many as I possibly can. I guess the old saying is true, “when you’re given lemons make lemonade.”

02-11-2015 Journal–More SNOW!!!!!!   Leave a comment

My life is no longer my own.  It seems my only purpose in life is to monitor the weather reports to determine how much snow is coming and then to spend a great deal of time moving the white stuff around to clear walkways and the driveway.  With two storms a week becoming the norm I can anticipate more and more snow in the next few weeks.

Even my cat is pissed about the snow.  His routine includes four hours a day lying on a huge bean bag in front of the picture window.  He loves watching traffic go by and seeing the birds flying around.  That’s his job and if you get right down to it, it’s a better job than mine.  I took this picture today as he sat looking out at the snow.  He’s not too happy about it either.

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‘It’s a little tough to see much of anything.’

The snow and ice on the roof worry me a little because every night the news reports tell of collapsing roofs on all sorts of buildings.  As you can see from this view from my bedroom window, the icicles are almost ten feet long on the rear of the house.

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It’s a wonder that any of the birds that stick around through the winter are still alive. We normally feed them all winter but it’s tough even getting to the feeders with five or six feet of snow making it almost impossible.  I  tried to take a short walk just a few feet into the backyard and this was as far as I could get.

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I keep hearing that this is the snowiest winter in recent memory here in Maine.  Taking into account that March is normally our snowiest month we may be in for a lot more before Spring decides to arrive.  If this craziness keeps up I may have to invest in a much larger and fancier snowblower. It should have a nice padded seat, a heater, and a hookup for my Ipod.  A cup holder would also be nice because I wouldn’t want to spill my Irish coffee. 

Then bring on the effing snow.