As most of you are aware I love using quotes to make an interesting point and they’re usually of a complimentary nature. Todays post will change that. These are quotes from recognizable people who don’t appear to be as happy about things as we all thought they were. I’m providing a selection of quotes concerning the Media and other related matters that might be considered somewhat negative. I live for the negative, how about you?
Newspapers
“The most truthful part of a newspaper is the advertisements.” Thomas Jefferson
“In the old days men had the rack. Now they have the press.” Oscar Wilde
“Newspapermen ask dumb questions. They look up at the sun and ask you if it’s shining.” Sonny Liston
“Looking at yourself through the media is like looking at one of those rippled mirrors in an amusement park.” Edmund Muskie
Publishers & Journalists
“Jack Anderson is the lowest form of human being to walk the earth. He’s a muckraker who lies, steals, and he’ll go lower than dog shit for a story.” J. Edgar Hoover
“Dorothy Kilgallen is the only woman I wouldn’t mind my wife catching me with. I don’t know why she took such umbrage at my comments on birth control, she’s such a living argument for it.” Johnny Carson
“If Hugh Hefner truly thinks that being spread-eagled is so fantastic, how come we haven’t seen his little wahoo with a staple in the middle?” CBS-TV
Television
“Acting on television is like being asked by the captain to entertain the passengers while the ship goes down.” Peter Ustinov
“Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.” Eric Sevaride
“I find television very educating. Every time someone turns on the set I go into the other room and read a book.” Groucho Marx
“TV is a medium, because it is neither rare nor well done.” Ernie Kovacs
Education
“Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.” Bob Dylan
“Our American professors like their literature clear and cold and pure and dead.” Sinclair Lewis
“The schools ain’t what they used to be and never was.” Will Rogers
❤️Anonymous (always the best)❤️
“Tabloids are fast reading for the slow thinkers.”
“The mission of the modern newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”
Doctors bury mistakes. Lawyers hang them. But journalists put theirs on the front page.”
“Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults but for having faults different from theirs.”
“You can tell a Harvard man, but you can’t tell him much.”
Well the weather has taken an unfriendly turn into winter. The electric blanket has been officially plugged in and the heavy clothing is being unpacked and aired out. I have the distinct feeling that this winter may be one to remember and I hope I’m wrong. Rather than thinking thoughts of the coming winter I’ll do as I always do – POST MORE LIMERICKS. I’ve dug into the archives once again to retrieve a few winners that should not be read by the youngsters. I’d rate these as PG or worse. Here goes nothing . . .
I’ve been a lover of baseball for my entire life beginning at the age of four. When I get obsessed with something I really do it right. I played three years of Little League, then two seasons of Senior Little League, then Pony League, 3 years of High School baseball, and finally two seasons of American Legion baseball. I tell you this not to brag but to convince you just how nuts I am about baseball. Throughout all of those years I had one major league ball player who was my idol. That was “Stan the Man” Musial. He was a lefthander from Pennsylvania who played both first base and the outfield. I was a lefty from Pennsylvania too and played first base and I pitched as well. His batting stance was my batting stance.
My biggest day occurred at the old Forbes Field stadium in Pittsburgh in 1961. Our team was invited to appear in a ceremony prior to the game. The pirates were playing St. Louis and guess who had his picture taken with Stan . . . that would be me. I also got to meet all of the players from the 1960 Pittsburgh World Series Champions, Roberto Clemente, Bill Virdon, Al McBean, Bill Mazeroski, just to name a few. Now you know why I love baseball. I have quite a collection of books on baseball and baseball trivia. Here are a few facts you may not have heard before and I hope you enjoy them.
THE MAN
Babe Ruth named his bat “Black Beauty”.
Hall of Famer outfielder, Edd Roush used a 48-ounce bat- the heaviest ever used in the major leagues.
On September 15, 1946 the Dodgers beat the Cubs 2-0 in five innings. The game was called because of gnats, who became a problem for the players, the umpires, and the fans.
On August 2, 1938 the Dodgers and the Cardinals used a yellow baseball as an experiment in the first game of the double header. The Dodgers won the game, 6-2, and the yellow ball was never used again.
“Wee Willie” Keeler, at five feet and one-half inch and weighing in at 142 pounds, was the smallest player in the Hall of Fame.
Bert Campanaris of the Kansas City A’s played all nine positions in a single game on September 8, 1965.
First baseman Ted Kluszewski of the Reds has such muscular arms that he had to cut the sleeves of his uniform to get into it.
And “last but least” another fact about the Pirates.
1960 World Champs
In 1988 former Yankee pitcher Art Ditmar, lost his lawsuit against a beer company and an ad agency that had mistakenly identified him as the pitcher who had given up Pirate Bill Mazeroski’s home run that won the 1960 World Series. Actually, it was Ralph Terry, but the judge ruled that Ditmar failed to provide more than speculation that the commercial had caused him any financial harm.
I have to admit that most of my readers are rather particular about the limericks I post. Of all of my posts, the dirtiest limericks seem to get the most views while the readership lessens considerably the cleaner the limericks become. That should tell me something about my readers but I’m not actually sure what that is. Todays offerings contain some really old limericks that concern sexual DISEASES. That’s all I’m saying, see what you think.
I am what could be considered a member of the first “TV Generation”. I saw my first B&W television in the early 1950’s and I’ve been hooked ever since. During the years 1967-1970 I was in the Army in an area that offered just radio but no television at all and I suffered. Once I returned home after my service I became truly obsessed and addicted once again. There are millions just like me from at least three generations and that’s who this quiz is targeting. Here are the “dirty dozen + one” trivia questions from the early years of TV . . . lets see how you do. As always the answers will be listed below.
What soap star played the voice of Charlie on “Charlies Angels“?
Which two “Different Strokes” stars were sent to prison for criminal felonies?
Which actors demands for higher pay caused the demise of the “Mork & Mindy” show?
What dancing movie star played Bandit, the leader of a law-enforcement gang, in the short-lived show “The Renegades”?
Which of the stars from “Barney Miller” died during the shows run?
Which star of “Welcome Back, Kotter” became one of the biggest movie stars of the 1970’s and beyond?
Which star of “One Day at a Time” once shared cocaine with her father.
What famous actor/comedian played Jodie. the homosexual on “Soap”
Who was the last member of the original cast of “Saturday Night Live” to be hired?
What movie star-turned-director got his big break as Rowdy Yates on “Rawhide”?
What “Star Trek” actor played Robin on “Mission: Impossible”?
What two actors on “Taxi” also appeared in the film “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”?
Here is one of My Favorite actors who deserves a BONUS mention:
Which actor from “WKRP in Cincinnati” went on to star as a teacher on “The Head of the Class”?
📺📺📺📺📺
HOW MANY DID YOU KNOW?
Answers
John Forsythe, Dana Plato (armed robbery) and Todd Bridges (attempted murder), Pam Dauber, Patrick Swayze, Jack Soo (Nick Yemana), John Travolta (Vinnie Barbarino), Mackenzie Phillips (Julie), Billie Crystal, John Belushi, Clint Eastwood, Leonard Nimoy, Danny DeVito & Christopher Lloyd, BONUS: Howard Hesseman (Doctor Johnny Fever)
With the NFL preparing to dazzle us with another season of football, I feel the need to give baseball a little extra boost because it’s my all-time favorite sport. It will always be Americas Favorite Pastime for me as shown by the continuing outstanding teams and players this season. Todays post consists of a short but extremely difficult trivia quiz (10 questions) that was initially prepared and published in 1975. It was created to challenge only the true fans of the game. As always, the answers will be listed below.
In 1926, who was the Brooklyn Dodger who “tripled” into a double play by being caught on third base with two other runners?
What Milwaukee pitcher committed two errors while covering first base, enabling the Yankees to win the 1958 World Series?
Who was the Cincinnati catcher who blocked an errant pitch with his body and then couldn’t find the ball – only three feet away – while two Yankees scored in the tenth inning of a 1939 World Series game?
Who was the New York first baseman who committed a three-base error in the 1939 World Series to set up a Dodger run which helped Los Angeles sweep the four game series?
Who made the boner – failing to touch second base on a teammate’s single – that cost the Giants a late-season victory and the 1908 pennant?
THE BAMBINO
What Dodger catcher missed holding on to a third strike which allowed Tommy Hendrich to reach first base safely and opened the way for a Yankee World Series victory in 1941?
Who was the Chicago Cub pitcher who threw Babe Ruth a homerun ball after the Bambino had taken two strikes and pointed to the spot over the Wrigley Field fence where he would hit the ball in the 1932 World Series?
Only one pitcher has retired more than twenty-seven batters in a single game. Name him.
Who was the only man to complete an unassisted triple-play in the World Series?
The Yankee had two second base men who hit .500 in World Series play. One did it in 1941 and the second in 1953. Name them.
PLAY BALL!!!
Answers
Babe Herman, Lew Burdette, Ernie Lombardi, Joe Pepitone, Fred Merkle, , Mickey Owens, Charlie Root, Harvey Haddix (Pittsburgh vs Milwaukee 1959) 35 batters, Bill Wambsganss (Cleveland) 1920, Elston Howard and Gene Tenace
Human beings are strange animals. We all seem to think that everything we think and speak is something new and original and profound. It’s not until we mature into thinking adults (most of us) that we realize just how repetitive and cyclical almost everything is. Todays post will concern a few classic nursery rhymes we’ve all heard or used and the approximate date of their origins. Have fun.
👼
“Hush-a-Bye Baby” – 1765, New England
Hush-a-bye baby, on the tree top,
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock;
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,
Down will come baby, cradle, and all.
👼👼
“Baa, Baa, Black Sheep” – Pre-1760, England
Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes, sir, yes, sir,
Three bags full . . .
👼👼👼
“Hey Diddle Diddle” – Post-1569, Europe
Hey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon . . .
👼👼👼👼
“Sing a Song of Sixpence” – Pre-1744 – England
Sing a song of sixpence,
A pocket full of rye;
Four and twenty blackbirds,
Baked in a pie.
💞💞💞
Here’s a special ditty just for Mary (my better-half).
“Mary, Mary” – 18th Century – England
Mary, Mary quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells,
and pretty maids all in a row.
Secular tradition claims the original ” Mary” was actually Mary, Queen of Scots
I’m a consistent user of quotations. Sometimes they’re funny and other times they only assist my poor writings to make them seem more pertinent. Todays post contains a variety of quotes from a host of known and unknown writers. Some are funny and some not so funny. You may recognize the names of the authors and maybe you won’t. It’s not really about the authors but what they’ve written. Even people who are not well known actually have the ability to say some truly profound things.
“The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn’t have that rule when Jesus was born.” Elaine Boosler
“It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing Milk Bone shorts.” Kelly Allen
“Human kind cannot bear very much reality.” T.S. Eliot
“When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason – there’s a reason.” Molly McGee
“The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.” Rebecca West
❤️❤️❤️
“The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married and the married wish to be dead.” Ann Landers
“Canadians should come down to California and take the jobs away from our Mexicans.” Stanley Ralph Ross
“Politics is a means of preventing people from taking part in what properly concerns them.” Paul Valery
Wise men talk because they have somethin to say; fools talk because they have to say something. Plato
“A good husband is healthy and absent.” Japanese Proverb
😼🐱😾
“My cat shit on my last painting. Should I take it personally?”
Are you ready for a new batch of disturbing, disgusting, and naughty limericks? One of my biggest problems in posting limericks is that I have thousands of them available but in most cases they are extremely difficult to categorize. I made the ultimate sacrifice recently and forced myself to read hundreds of limericks and to try and establish some sort of categories. Todays post will include limericks concerning Sex Substitutes. These will be copied directly from my collections with rather blunt, off-color, and the occasional appropriate profanity. These will be rated “R”, so keep the youngsters away. Lets get rolling . . .
I’ve been watching hundreds of Europeans since the World Cup ended who seem to be quite taken with the USA and especially all things Texas. Here’s another little gift directly from the wild, wild, west to all of those visitors. Even our limericks rock . . . .
