Archive for the ‘Art’ Category

09/26/2022 πŸ’₯Silly Limerick AlertπŸ’₯   Leave a comment

Once again, it’s time for a few lighthearted limericks rather than the bawdier ones we’re used to. I’ll reference the author when possible.

By Frank Jacobs

A lion whose manners weren’t nice

Played Monopoly with two white mice.

After losing, he roared,

Then devoured the board,

Marvin Gardens, both mice and the dice.

πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹

By Oliver Herford

Once a grasshopper (food being scant)

Begged an ant some assistance to grant.

But the ant shook his head

“I can’t help you,” he said,

“It’s an uncle you need, not an ant.

😎😎😎

By Anon

A barber who lived in Batavia

Was known for his fearless behavia.

When a giant brown bear

Took a seat in his chair,

Said the barber, “No way will I shavia.”

😏😏😏

By Gelett Burgess

I’d rather have fingers than toes.

I’d rather have ears than a nose.

And as for my hair,

I’m glad it’s still there,

I’ll be awfully sad when it goes.

🍩🍩🍩

HAPPY MONDAY

09/21/2022 “Music Trivia”   2 comments

  • None of the Beatles could read music.
  • Paul McCarney’s real first name is James.
  • The real name of pop star Lorde is Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O’Connor.
  • Elvis Presley never wrote a song. He was just a performer.
  • Guitar manufacturer Gibson listed Jimi Hendrix as the number one guitar player of all time.

  • Sonny and Cher were originally known as Caesar and Cleo.
  • Prince played twenty-seven different instruments on his debut album, For You.
  • Iggy Pop once appeared in an episode of Star Trek – Deep Space Nine.
  • Andy Warhol was a frequent babysitter for Mick Jagger’s daughter Jade.
  • Karaoke machines were first built in Japan in 1971. The word “karaoke” means “empty orchestra” in Japanese.

TRY SINGING ALONG

09/01/2022 🎡🎡 Music Lovers πŸŽ΅πŸŽ΅   Leave a comment

It amazes me just how fast this year has flown by. It won’t be long here in Maine until I’m whining and complaining about the snow. Thinking about snow and ice is depressing most of the time but I’ll deal with it by writing about things that make me less depressed and bored. Being a formal high school and college graduate, I found the following statements to be funny and sad. Funny because some are ridiculous and sad because they’re all taken from actual high school and college exams. This collection mostly concerns Music Appreciation ad Music History.

  • A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
  • A harp is a nude piano.
  • The principal singer of 19th-century opera was called the pre-Madonna.
  • An interval in music is the distance between one piano to the next.
  • Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.

  • A tuba is much larger than its name.
  • When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds. So would anybody.
  • I can’t reach the brakes on this piano.
  • The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose.
  • The correct way to find a key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.

HIGHER EDUCATION IS THE ULTIMATE OXYMORON

08/10/2022 πŸ’₯πŸ’₯Lewd Limerick AlertπŸ’₯πŸ’₯   Leave a comment

I decided that it was time to post a few limericks collected from a small and damaged book I discovered some months ago. It was published in 1980 and contains over 150 of the lewdest limericks I’ve ever seen. The great majority are so nasty I wouldn’t dare post them here, but I’ve found four of the more acceptable ones to give you an idea what I’m dealing with. Tell the kids to leave the room. Rated at least an “R”.

A worried young man from Stamboul

Discovered red spots on his tool.

Said the doctor, a cynic,

“Get out of my clinic!

Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool.

πŸ†πŸ©πŸ†

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,

Complacently stroking his madam,

And so loud was his mirth

For on all of the earth

There were only two balls – and he had’em.

πŸ©πŸ†πŸ©

There was a young girl in Berlin

Who was fucked by an elderly Finn.

Though he diddled his best,

And fucked her with zest,

She kept asking, “Hey, Pop, is it in?”

πŸ†πŸ©πŸ†

There was a young man from Purdue

Who was only just learning to screw,

But he hadn’t the knack,

And he got too far back

In the right church, but the wrong pew.

πŸ©πŸ†πŸ©

AND THESE WERE THE TAME ONES

08/07/2022 “Feet”   3 comments

I am a longtime lover of feet. When most guys were scoping out boobs and butts, I was looking for women wearing sandles. I’m not sure why or when I developed this love of feet, but it started at a very young age. Over the years it has been a wonderful addition to my dating repertoire. With that in mind here are some odd facts about feet you may not have been aware of. Read on and be converted you butt loving and boob loving men (or women). It’s all good.

  • The world’s tallest man, Robert Pershing Wadlow (8’11”) wore size 37 shoes.
  • In many Asian countries is considered the height of rudeness to let the soles of your feet face another person.
  • Your foot and ankle together contain 26 bones.
  • The Achilles tendon is the longest and strongest tendon in your foot. The tendon is named after the Greek warrior who was killed when he was hit there with an arrow.
  • The skin on the soles of your feet is .2 inches (5 mm) thick.

  • Athletes foot can cause intense itching and pain. It is a fungus that grows between your toes because it likes the dark, moist conditions found there.
  • It takes 20 muscles to hold each of your feet together and allow them to move as in dancing, running, and skipping.
  • Getting “cold feet” means you want to back down or walk away from something you had planned to do.
  • Your toes can get into lots of trouble. You could have hammer toes, claw toes, and overlapping toes, not to mention ingrown toenails. In some cases, people have been known to have their second toe a half inch or longer than the big toe (you know who you are).
  • If you have fallen arches, the arch of your foot has flattened. The entire sole of your foot is on the ground, so you don’t have a natural shock absorber system as you walk.

There you have a few oddities about feet. Most of the things I mentioned are a rarity and doesn’t do anything to disturb my foot fetish. I remain as always, a dedicated (disturbingly so) lover of women’s feet. Add to that bright red, blood red nail polish and I’m yours for the taking. LOL

EVERYONE NEEDS AT LEAST ONE INTERESTING FETISH

08/04/2022 “More Historical Oddities”   Leave a comment

I’ll be the history fanatic today offering you a few facts that most people haven’t heard or read about. So, no run-of-the-mill stuff today. I hope you enjoy them.

1900

In Brussels, a young anarchist made an assassination attempt on the Prince of Wales. (Future King Edward VII). His Royal Highness reputedly explained, “Fuck it, I’ve taken a bullet.”, although he was in fact untouched.

1902

So numerous were the mistresses of Edward VII that at his coronation a special pew, known as the “loose box” was reserved for them.

1904

The French physician and psychiatrist, Madeleine Pelletier, A cross-dressing celibate feminist, became a Freemason, joining the Novell Jerusalem lodge.

1905

The 25-stone Chelsea goalkeeper, William “Fatty” Folkes, lifted a Port Vale forward off the ground and hurled him into his own goal. The penalty was awarded against Chelsea.

1905

Maurice Garin won the Tour de France, but four months later it was shown that he had traveled some of the route by train rather than by bicycle.

1909

On 12 December, King Leopold II of the Belgians married Caroline Lacroix, a prostitute who had borne him two sons. He died five days later.

1912

As soon as the Titanic went down, the White Star Line, the ship’s owners, stopped the wages of the crew.

1914

On November 4, a British attempt to capture the port of Tanga in German East Africa was repelled when the invaders were attacked by swarms of bees and were obliged to retreat into the sea.

1915

In New York, the French artist Marcel Duchamp submitted a work entitled Fountain to the Salon des Independents, which rejected it. The work comprised a porcelain urinal, signed by “R. Mutt”

07/25/2022 Limerick “How To” III   5 comments

David McCord

Here are the final limericks in Mr. McCord’s limerick construction primer. I thoroughly enjoy reading the work created by such an intelligent man who enjoys his love of poems and limericks as I do. His non-limerick poetry is also outstanding as you will see.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

It’s been a bad year for the moles

Who live just in stockings with holes;

And bad for the mice

Who prefer their boiled rice

Seved in shoes that don’t have any soles.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

There once was a man in the Moon,

But he got there a little too soon.

Some others came later

And fell down a crater,

When was it? Next August? Last June?

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

I don’t much exactly quite care

For those cats with short ears and long hair.

But if anything’s worse

It’s the very reverse:

Just you ask any mouse anywhere.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

So, by chance it may be you’ve not heard

Of a small sort of queer silent bird.

Not a song, trill, or note

Ever comes from his throat.

If it does, I take back every word.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

And last but not least.

Write a limerick now. Say there was

An old man of some place, what he does,

Or perhaps what he doesn’t,

Or isn’t or wasn’t.

Want help with it? Give me a buzz.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

I heard my first limerick when I was about 7 years old when I was eavesdropping on my father and one of his friends. I heard my dad recite this little gem. My love of limericks was born!

There once was a lady from Wheeling

She had one helluva feeling.

She laid on her back

And opened he c***k

And p****d all over the ceiling.

HAVE A GREAT WEEK

07/23/2022 A LIMERICK “How To”   Leave a comment

I’m going to introduce you today to a man who was famous for writing limericks, Mr. David McCord. He was also a philanthropist, writer, and poet who held honorary degrees from 22 universities. He was famous for his work in teaching children to write poetry. This first limerick is a short instruction on who to structure a limerick.

David McCord

The limerick’s lively to write:

Five lines to it – all nice and tight.

Two long ones, two trick

Little short ones, then quick

As a flash here’s the last one in sight.

There are 13 limericks published over fifty years ago and were Mr. McCord’s attempt to explain and teach how to write a limerick. Here are the first four. I’ll post a few each day until the entire collection is in your hands. Maybe they will encourage you to write a few of your own.

There once was a scarecrow named Joel

Who couldn’t scare crows, save his soul.

But the crows put the scare

Into Joel. He’s not there

Anymore. That’s his hat on the pole.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

“There was an old man” of wherever

You like, thus the limerick never

Accounts for the young:

You will find him unsung

Whether stupid, wise, foolish, or clever.

A Rare Non-Dirty Nantucket Limerick

There was a young man let me say,

Of West Pumpkinville, Maine, USA.

You tell me there’s not

Such a place? Thanks a lot.

I forget what he did anyway.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

Take the curious case of Tom Pettigrew

And Hetty, his sister. When Hettigrew

As tall as a tree

She came just to Tom’s knee.

And did Tom keep on growing? You bettigrew.

That’s lesson number one for today. If you read them carefully, he gives excellent rhyming tips and how exactly to structure the limerick. More to follow tomorrow.

07/22/2022 “Quotes of the Week”   1 comment

Alfred North Whitehouse 1861-1947

“Great art is more than a transient refreshment. It is something which adds to the permanent richness of the soul’s self-attainment. It justifies itself both by its immediate enjoyment, and also by its discipline of the inmost being. Its discipline is not distinct from enjoyment but by reason of it. It transforms the soul into the permanent realization of values extending beyond its former self.”

Facing mandatory retirement in London, and upon being offered an appointmentΒ at Harvard, Whitehead moved to the United States in 1924. GivenΒ his prior training in mathematics, it was sometimes joked that the first philosophy lectures he ever attended were those he himself delivered in his new role as Professor of Philosophy.

06/11/2022 “Artists?”   2 comments

I’ve always considered myself something of an artist. Most artists lack a certain amount of self-confidence about their works and don’t even understand why. I know I do. Other people view artists entirely different than the artists themselves. It’s something I’ve been trying to figure out for most of my life and no matter how much I create I always have doubts about my abilities. Even the people close to me don’t get it at all. It’s frustrating to say the least and I’ll probably never figure it out. Every artist I’ve ever known suffers through the same nonsense in one way or another. Here are a few quotes about art and artists from some of the greats of history.

  • “All art is subversive.” Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
  • “An artist must have his measuring tools not in the hand, but in the eye.” Michaelangelo (1475-1564)
  • “The more I become decomposed, the more sick and fragile I am, the more I become an artist.” Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890)”
  • “Today, as you know, I am famous and very rich. But when I’m alone with myself, I haven’t the courage to consider myself an artist, in the great and ancient sense of the word . . . I’m only a public entertainer, who understands his age.” Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

It makes me feel better about myself when I hear doubts voiced by great artist like Picasso. I can put my doubts to rest for now but without question they’ll return as soon as my next project begins.

“IT IS ART, AND ART ALONE, THAT REVEALS US TO OURSELVES”

(Oscar Wilde 1854-1900)

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