I hate to admit it but I seem to have had a life-long addictive personality disorder. For more than fifteen years I was dangerously addicted to cigarettes and it took a fast ride to a hospital in an ambulance to convince me to stop smoking once and for all. Over the intervening years I developed minor addictions to marijuana, Scotch whiskey, potato chips, ice cream, and a dozen other small unimportant matters. I thought after all of my many years I had finally won the battle against worthless and annoying addictions but once again I was wrong. Since retirement I’ve discovered two of my newest and bothersome addictions: Amazon and The Internet.
If your not as mobile as you once were (due to old age) as I am currently, the Internet is eye opening in its wide range of idiots, morons, scammers and its endless supply of bullshit artists to keep me occupied for the foreseeable future. My window on the world is very small now and truly annoying but it’s all I have. My better-half has joined the ranks of the addicted and spends a lot of her time researching endless gardening information sites and searching for odd and strange recipes to make my dining a real adventure.
We live in an area that requires us to take special steps just to have just a working cell phone and Internet connection. Without that connection we’d have no television, no Internet, and no W-Fi. Since GPS doesn’t work very well in this area either I hope I never have a life threatening emergency. If I do I will die a really pissed off customer. Unfortunately an incident occurred earlier this week that started another round of craziness when we lost all Internet and Wi-Fi signals. My better-half found it necessary to drive our car for two miles to get a usable wi-fi signal, and then spent a half hour trying to find a human being to talk with about our continuing problem. All of these company computers and personnel still can’t seem to ever answer our most important question “Why isn’t this damn system working?”. When it was all said and done we had to wait two more hours for a repairman to show up at our home. They had us checking OUR equipment because their computer assured them that everything was operational on their end. They still forgot that one important thing again: WHY WE STILL DIDN’T HAVE ANY DAMN INTERNET, NO DAMN WIFI, AND NO DAMN TELEPHONE SERVICE. I suggested to the repairman that maybe it was their equipment and not ours.
Frustrating, YOU BET. Come to find out we’d been given a low level (cheap) modem when we began their service contract a year ago and that modem was apparently faulty. All of our troubles magically disappeared a few minutes later when the repairman plugged in a newer and updated modem. Here’s the kicker. As I watched all of my equipment humming along and finally running fine and saw that Internet entry screen reappear, I found my face a little flushed, had a huge rush of adrenaline, and a strange tingling all over my body. It was my introduction to my latest and scariest addiction ever – computer driven orgasms. Now I can have an illicit affair with my hardrive whenever I want or need to. Isn’t technology wonderful? LOL
I really and truly hate the media. Even before the term “fake news” appeared, I was well ahead of the game. I was raised during a time when there were only three networks and the main voice for America on any subject was Walter Cronkite. Whatever he said was immediately believed as information that came down from the Mount with the Ten Commandments. Now that we’ve progressed a little (LOL) we’re beginning to find out what fools our parent’s generation was and unfortunately they passed some of that foolishness along to their kids. Eventually the rest of the country finally figured all of this out because of a few thousand regular folks taking to the airways armed with a new term called “Podcasts”. Thanks also to people like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg for maintaining freedom of speech on their social media platforms. With that being said todays post contains misquotes and misstatements from numerous and varied celebrities experts and media outlets. Enjoy . . .
“If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching television by candlelight.” George Gobel – comedian.
“The crime bill passed by the senate would reinstate the federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President, hijacking an airliner, and murdering a government poultry inspector.” Published by Knight Ridder News Service
Retraction: The “Greek Special” is a huge, 18-inch pizza and not a huge, 18-inch penis, as described in an ad. Blondie’s Pizza would like to apologize for any confusion Friday’s ad may have caused. Correction in the Daily Californian (real fake news)
As a prize – a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher. Announcer on TV who meant to say “grass catcher”.
“To say this book is about me (which is the main reason I was uncomfortable – me, me, me,. me . . . frightening) is ridiculous. This book is not about me.” Kate Moss, model, on her book, Kate: The Kate Moss Book
“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” Decca Recording Company turning down the Beatles, 1962
I really and truly hate the media. Even before the term “fake news” appeared, I was well ahead of the game. I was raised during a time when there were only three networks and the main voice for America on any subject was Walter Cronkite. Whatever he said was immediately believed as information that came down from the Mount with the Ten Commandments. Now that we’ve progressed a little (LOL) we’re beginning to find out what fools our parent’s generation was and unfortunately they passed some of that foolishness along to their kids. Eventually the rest of the country finally figured all of this out because of a few thousand regular folks taking to the airways armed with a new term called “Podcasts”. Thanks also to people like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg for maintaining freedom of speech on their social media platforms. With that being said todays post contains misquotes and misstatements from numerous and varied celebrities experts and media outlets. Enjoy . . .
“If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching television by candlelight.” George Gobel – comedian.
“The crime bill passed by the senate would reinstate the federal death penalty for certain violent rimes: assassinating the President, hijacking an airliner, and murdering a government poultry inspector.” Published by Knight Ridder News Service
Retraction: The “Greek Special” is a huge, 18-inch pizza and not a huge, 18-inch penis, as described in an ad. Blondie’s Pizza would like to apologize for any confusion Friday’s ad may have caused. Correction in the Daily Californian (real fake news)
As a prize – a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher. Announcer on TV who meant to say “grass catcher”.
“To say this book is about me (which is the main reason I was uncomfortable – me, me, me,. me . . . frightening) is ridiculous. This book is not about me.” Kate Moss, model, on her book, Kate: The Kate Moss Book
“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” Decca Recording Company turning down the Beatles, 1962
In keeping with the theme of this blog “everyuselessthing”, I thought a short history lesson was in order to supply readers with a little known trivia tidbit about NASA and the first moon landing. In 1969 Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the moon as we all know but were you aware that William Safire, President Nixon’s speechwriter, gave the president a draft of a speech he might have to give if the moon mission failed. It is claimed that the president never saw it. Here is a copy of that speech.
Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.
These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.
These two men are laying down their lives in mankind’s most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding. They will be mourned by their family and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.
In their exploration they stirred the people of the world to feel as one; in their sacrifice, they bind more tightly the brotherhood of man.
In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.
Others will follow, and surely find their way home, Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they remain the foremost in our hearts.
For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.
One final tidbit of irony. In 1999, on the 30th year anniversary of the moon landing, the three astronauts were shown this text for the first time by Tim Russert on Meet the Press.
It’s been a miserable few days trying to get my systems back into operation. After four days I can finally return to the blog. It will probably take me another few weeks before things return to abnormal. This post will concern quotes from prominent people about politics. It seems to be all the rage nowadays so I decided to get on board with all of the other wackos. Here goes nothing . . .
My Quote of the Day
“Technology is a queer thing. It brings you
great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you
in the back with the other.”
(C. P. Snow)
“Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.” Oscar Ameringer
“No man should be in public office who can’t make more money in private life.” Thomas Dewey
“The cardinal rule of politics – never get caught in bed with a live man or a dead woman.” J.R Ewing (Dallas)
“Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.” John F. Kennedy
“One fifth of the people are against everything all the time.” Robert Kennedy
🤞🤞🤞
“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there’s no river.” Nikita Krushchev
“Socialism is workable only in heaven, where it isn’t needed, and in hell, where they’ve got it.” Cecil Palmer
With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law, it’s a joke.” Will Rogers
“My choice early in life was to be either a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, There’s hardly any difference.” Harry Truman
“If God had been a liberal, we wouldn’t have had the Ten Commandments – we’d have the Ten Suggestions.” Malcolm Bradbury
👌👌👌
THANK GOD ONLY ONE OF THEM CAN WIN!
(Bumper sticker from the Kennedy-Nixon campaign in 1960)
I’ve been fascinated for decades about anything related to space travel. I can thank my mother for that when shortly after Sputnik made its appearance she showed up in my bedroom with paint brushes and paints. She then proceeded to turn my bedroom into a huge space mural filled with planets, stars, meteorites, and spaceships.. She knew I loved anything related to space travel because I was already a sci-fi junkie at the ripe old age of five. Today’s post contains information that I’ve picked up along the way concerning the space race and weird little factoids that you may never have heard before. I hope you enjoy them.
Our galaxy is so wide that, at the speed of light, it would take you 100,000 years to cross it.
A meteorite the size of the school bus would destroy the entire eastern seaboard of the United States.
The volume of the Earth’s moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean.
A solar flare is basically a gigantic magnetic arch-like horseshoe magnet-that attracts itself inward, back to the surface of the sun.
The famous Halley’s Comet returns to earth every 76 years. It last appeared in 1986 and will reappear here again in 2062.
A solar flare, ejected from the sun’s surface, can reach speeds of 190 miles per second or 306 kilometers per second.
It takes 3 minutes for the sunlight that is reflected from the moon to reach our eyes.
Astronauts are not permitted to eat beans before they go into space because the methane gas released while passing wind can damage spacesuit materials.
A light-year is the distance light travels in one year or 870,000,000,000 miles or 9.4 5 trillion kilometers.
A Martian day lasts 24 hours, 37 min., and 23 seconds. And Earth Day last 23 hours, 56 min., and 4 seconds.
🔭🔭🔭
Here’s a salute to one of the greatest minds of all time.
Galileo Galilei
Here’s fair warning to some of you out there with outrageous or ridiculous theories. Galileo got into trouble with the Inquisition for his many theories, and spent some serious time in prison. The fact that he was correct made no difference.
Being a blogger allows me to cover many areas of our society and to be as truthful as I can possibly be. The government would like everyone to think that we’re all equal, but we aren’t. We still have different classes of individuals based primarily on the amount of money they have or don’t have. Is it fair? No! Will it ever change? Again NO! If it does change, I’ll never live to see it and I doubt seriously if my grandchildren will either. Maybe once the AI Singularity occurs things could change but who knows how? Human beings adapt to their circumstances in weird ways. Give a poor person 10,000,000 dollars and he/she will change dramatically. After a time, they will likely become a bit elitest and arrogant when dealing with people beneath them (monetarily). Today’s post will supply you with a few examples of extremely rich people talking about their lives and being totally unaware that the rest of us aren’t well-to-do.
“Until the age of 12 I sincerely believed that everybody had a house on Fifth Avenue, a villa in Newport and a steam-driven, ocean-going yacht.” Cornelius Vanderbilt Junior
“I have had no real gratification or enjoyment of any sort more than my neighbor on the next block who is worth only half a million.” William K Vanderbilt, who was worth 200 million when he died in 1885.
On a visit to the Holy Land in 1887, Edmund de Rothschild, upon seeing the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem for the first time, commonly inquired if it might be for sale.
During the 1890s, when William Randolph Hearst’s New York Journal was engaged in a nasty circulation war with Joseph Pulitzer’s World, an accountant warned Hearst that he was losing $1 million a year. Hearst thought for a moment and replied, “At that rate I can only last another 30 years.”
After her sentencing . . . to a four-year prison term, Leona Helmsley spent 4 days in a private room at New York Hospital, a hospital to which she had pledged $33 million. The doctors there were very concerned about our health. Her personal doctor declared there would be a “fatal determination” if Leona had to go to jail. No one I have met knows what a “fatal determination” actually means wrote Dennis Dugan of Newsday.
And finally, a quote from my favorite sarcastic wiseass: Mark Twain. Who continues to show his concern for us poorer folks and a little sarcasm for the wealthier.
“I wish to become rich so I can instruct the people and glorify honest poverty a little, like those kindhearted, fat, benevolent people do.”
I’m trying desperately to remain cool here in my man-cave. Our house is not airconditioned so needless to say I’ve been spending most of my time in my cave which is so much cooler than the upper floors. I’ve located fans all around to help keep my computer system from overheating and it also helps to have a fridge nearby filled with cold beer, chilled wine, and icy cold water. I’ll remain here until the weather breaks or until hell freezes over, whichever comes first.
So, let me think. What could possibly make a hot and steamy day better? Hmm! Raunchy limericks immediately come to mind, and I intend to share a few with you.
Are you happy? Living in the 21st century can be confusing at times and utterly ridiculous almost always. I can’t even wrap my head around how people are raising children these days. It’s when my frustration gets to be too much, I revert to other times that were also screwy but not near as strange as right now. The following humor was based entirely on the 1980’s so bear that in mind as you read them. Everything is always about context. Hop on the time travel train for a few minutes and enjoy 1984. Orwell didn’t have a clue.
When should you stop fucking your girlfriend doggie style? When you catch her chasing cars.
What’s the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? A pickpocket snatches watches.
What’s the difference between mono and herpes? You get mono from snatching a kiss.
What do you find at the bottom of girls’ undies? Clitty litter.
What’s the difference between a fox and a pig? About six beers.
What’s a box spring? An I. U. D.
Why did the stupid girl think there was something wrong with her birth control pills? They kept falling out.
Why was 6 mad at 7? Because 7-8-9
What’s Helen Keller’s favorite color? Corduroy
Who are the three most famous Chinese virgins? “Tu Yung Tu”, Tu Dum Tu”, and “No Yen Tu.
Why don’t chickens wear underwear? Because they would look fucking stupid.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a hooker with diarrhea? An epileptic corn husker shucks between fits.
It’s a cold and miserable day here in New England and my motivations have evaporated. I’ve been surfing the web for an hour, and something occurred to me. Regardless of how well you explain something, you’re wrong. There are just so many freaking so-called experts on every topic, who knew? That last statement was as sarcastic as I can make it without losing my mind. Never let it be said that Americans don’t have a high opinion of themselves as well as an innate ability to criticize new ideas at every turn. Social media is fine but it’s a double-edged sword. You can get your ideas out there whether they are well thought out or just plain stupid and then the backlash comes. I never really understood just how stupid I was until all of these so-called experts came out of the woodwork to explain things to me. I ‘ve always felt in my heart that many of our fellow citizens are idiots filled with misinformation and conspiracy theories but thanks to social media they now have the freedom to send their bullshit to the world and to further verify what idiots they are.
It’s nothing new because know-it-all’s have always been in the background spewing their thoughts and nonsense to the world. Here are a few samples from our illustrious past.
“Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You’re crazy.” – from workers whom Edwin L. Drake tried to hire on his project to drill for oil in Titusville, Pennsylvania in 1859
“The concept is interesting and well formed, but in order to earn better than a “C”, the idea must be feasible.” – stated a professor of Management at Yale University, commenting on the term paper by Fred Smith which earned only a “C”. The paper outlined a plan for a reliable overnight delivery service. Smith went on to create the Federal Express company in 1973.
“A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make.” – an unidentified response to Debbi Field’s plan to start Mrs. Field’s Cookies.
“If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that say you can’t do this.” – a statement from Spencer Silver on the work that led to the adhesives for the 3M Post-It notepads.
“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?” – a statement from Lee Iacocca, former chairman, Ford Motor Company
“Everything that can be invented has been invented.” – a statement made by Charles H. Duell, commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899
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