With the world of sports, mainly soccer, currently ruling this country I felt a sports related post would keep the good will flowing and possibly put a smile on a few faces. Lets see . . .
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“When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anybody deliberately . . . unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.” Dick Butkus
“Baseball would be a better game if more third basemen got hit in the mouth by line drives.” Dan Jenkins
George Steinbrenner is the salt of the earth, and the Yankee players are open wounds.” Scott Osler
“If your caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a one-iron. Not even God can hit a one-iron.” Lee Trevino
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“Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.” Dave Barry
“I bet on a horse at ten to one. It didn’t come in until half-past five.” Henny Youngman
“I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.” Possibly by Yogi Berra
“No Comment!” Coach Doug Moe on hearing he’d been voted the most quotable coach.
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My Fav:
“That’s getting a little close to home.”
Bob Feller on hearing that a foul ball had hit his mother.
I’ve just spent almost two solid days online listening to assorted visitors from Europe showing their appreciation of this country. I knew in my heart that the media in Europe was doing what the Media in America always does, attempting to direct how we should think and feel about damn near everything. I’m no soccer fan and probably never will be but any sport that has such a rabid fan base is a wonderful thing to witness. I feel even more patriotic than usual and that’s difficult to imagine. I’m also having much better thoughts about the European people themselves but not their governments. So today’s post is an limerick alert of a sort with the following collection of limericks that are sports related. Enjoy…
I really and truly hate the media. Even before the term “fake news” appeared, I was well ahead of the game. I was raised during a time when there were only three networks and the main voice for America on any subject was Walter Cronkite. Whatever he said was immediately believed as information that came down from the Mount with the Ten Commandments. Now that we’ve progressed a little (LOL) we’re beginning to find out what fools our parent’s generation was and unfortunately they passed some of that foolishness along to their kids. Eventually the rest of the country finally figured all of this out because of a few thousand regular folks taking to the airways armed with a new term called “Podcasts”. Thanks also to people like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg for maintaining freedom of speech on their social media platforms. With that being said todays post contains misquotes and misstatements from numerous and varied celebrities experts and media outlets. Enjoy . . .
“If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching television by candlelight.” George Gobel – comedian.
“The crime bill passed by the senate would reinstate the federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President, hijacking an airliner, and murdering a government poultry inspector.” Published by Knight Ridder News Service
Retraction: The “Greek Special” is a huge, 18-inch pizza and not a huge, 18-inch penis, as described in an ad. Blondie’s Pizza would like to apologize for any confusion Friday’s ad may have caused. Correction in the Daily Californian (real fake news)
As a prize – a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher. Announcer on TV who meant to say “grass catcher”.
“To say this book is about me (which is the main reason I was uncomfortable – me, me, me,. me . . . frightening) is ridiculous. This book is not about me.” Kate Moss, model, on her book, Kate: The Kate Moss Book
“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” Decca Recording Company turning down the Beatles, 1962
I really and truly hate the media. Even before the term “fake news” appeared, I was well ahead of the game. I was raised during a time when there were only three networks and the main voice for America on any subject was Walter Cronkite. Whatever he said was immediately believed as information that came down from the Mount with the Ten Commandments. Now that we’ve progressed a little (LOL) we’re beginning to find out what fools our parent’s generation was and unfortunately they passed some of that foolishness along to their kids. Eventually the rest of the country finally figured all of this out because of a few thousand regular folks taking to the airways armed with a new term called “Podcasts”. Thanks also to people like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg for maintaining freedom of speech on their social media platforms. With that being said todays post contains misquotes and misstatements from numerous and varied celebrities experts and media outlets. Enjoy . . .
“If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching television by candlelight.” George Gobel – comedian.
“The crime bill passed by the senate would reinstate the federal death penalty for certain violent rimes: assassinating the President, hijacking an airliner, and murdering a government poultry inspector.” Published by Knight Ridder News Service
Retraction: The “Greek Special” is a huge, 18-inch pizza and not a huge, 18-inch penis, as described in an ad. Blondie’s Pizza would like to apologize for any confusion Friday’s ad may have caused. Correction in the Daily Californian (real fake news)
As a prize – a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher. Announcer on TV who meant to say “grass catcher”.
“To say this book is about me (which is the main reason I was uncomfortable – me, me, me,. me . . . frightening) is ridiculous. This book is not about me.” Kate Moss, model, on her book, Kate: The Kate Moss Book
“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” Decca Recording Company turning down the Beatles, 1962
There aren’t many holidays ever mentioned on this blog but Memorial Day is the most important one for me. I’ve had friends killed in the service of this country and many more that have been maimed or worse through these continuing battles to keep this country of ours intact. For many years in the past returning veterans were mostly ignored. For years many disabled vets lived on the street due to mental illness (PTSB) as well as horrific wounds making it almost impossible to find work. It’s only in the last two decades that major steps have been taken by both government and public organizations to remedy that terrible situation. I usually don’t promote organizations on this blog but there is one major exception. Listed below is the link to the Wounded Warrior Project. That group has done as much to help our wounded vets as the government. In these perilous times the number of wounded and damaged veterans seems never ending but this country must be defended.
HONOR THE FALLEN BY SUPPORTING THE WOUNDED
If you want more information please click the link below. All veterans should be thanked and then cared for after they voluntarily put their lives on the line for all of us.
Having served three years in the Army changed many things about me. I was introduced to many new experiences that I hope never to repeat and I learned a lot about myself both good and bad. While I wasn’t involved in any massive world wars I got a taste of its reality by my visits to Korea and Vietnam. This post isn’t meant to be about me but about war itself. Todays post contains a few odd and strange facts from the most destructive war this country has ever faced, The American Civil War, which pitted brother against brother and families against families. The most widely cited figure is 618,222 total deaths, with 360,222 Union deaths and 258,000 Confederate deaths. The war’s toll was so severe that if the same percentage of the U.S. population had died today, it would be equivalent to 6 million deaths. Enjoy . . .
Of the future members of the United States Supreme Court who were of fighting age during the civil war, seven were in uniform. Four fought for the Union: Oliver Wendell Holmes, John M. Harlan, William B. Woods, and Stanley Matthews. Three fought for the Confederacy: Edward D. White, Horace H. Lurton, and Lucius Q.C. Lamar.
Union privates were paid only $16.00, but the gold value of their pay was more than seven times greater than that of the Confederates.
Slaves in Virginia could be hired for $30.00 a month in 1863 – yet the pay for an Army private was $11.00 a month. Confederates pay finally increased to $18.00 a month the next year.
Of the 546 nuns known to have served as battlefield nurses, 289 were from Ireland, 40 from Germany, and 12 from France.
Firing on both sides was so inaccurate that soldiers estimated it took a man’s weight in lead to kill a single enemy in battle. A Federal expert said that each Confederate who was shot required 240 pounds of powder and 900 pounds of lead.
A young Confederate officer, Captain S. Isadore Guillet, was fatally shot on the same horse on which three of his brothers had been previously killed. With his final wish he willed the horse to his nephew as he died.
Years before the war Jesse Grant, father of Ulysses, lived and worked in the home of Owen Brown, whose small son, played noisily about the frontier homestead,. That boy grew up to be John Brown, the Abolitionist martyr who lit the fuse of the war.
The Confederate General, Nathan Bedford Forrest, classed by some historians as the war’s most able cavalry commander, had twenty-nine horses shot from under him in the course of the war. He survived to be the founder of the Ku Klux Klan.
WAR IS TRULY HELL
(And as I also learned – Peacetime is a motherf**ker)
In keeping with the theme of this blog “everyuselessthing”, I thought a short history lesson was in order to supply readers with a little known trivia tidbit about NASA and the first moon landing. In 1969 Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the moon as we all know but were you aware that William Safire, President Nixon’s speechwriter, gave the president a draft of a speech he might have to give if the moon mission failed. It is claimed that the president never saw it. Here is a copy of that speech.
Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.
These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.
These two men are laying down their lives in mankind’s most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding. They will be mourned by their family and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.
In their exploration they stirred the people of the world to feel as one; in their sacrifice, they bind more tightly the brotherhood of man.
In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.
Others will follow, and surely find their way home, Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they remain the foremost in our hearts.
For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.
One final tidbit of irony. In 1999, on the 30th year anniversary of the moon landing, the three astronauts were shown this text for the first time by Tim Russert on Meet the Press.
Now that my never-ending retro trivia posts have been completed, it’s time to return to my first love those funny and bawdy LIMERICKS. As I’ve always said, I love limericks and I also love history. I’ve decided today to combine the two with a few limericks made famous during the World War II era. I assume some of these may have been written by a few GI’s but I can’t be sure. I find it refreshing that even during the worst war we’ve ever experienced, a sense of humor was still maintained. Some of these might be considered a little much for younger children. Be warned!
Here is the next installment of more retro trivia facts from the 1950’s. Lets see if you can improve on your score from the 1940’s quiz. As always the answers will be listed below. Have fun!
How man presidents were elected in the 1950’s?
Name the pope elected in 1958.
Who did George Jorgensen become?
Name the first atomic submarine.
What lamp reached it’s height of popularity in the 1950’s?
What British king died in 1952?
The Ford Motor Company has never lived down the failure of what car, introduced in the 50’s?
Name the political group that was established in 1950 by H.N. Arrowsmith, Jr,
Established in 1953, NASA stands for what?
What Russian word, popularized in the late 1950’s , means “fellow wayfarer”?
BONUS Question
Where did the unoccupied Soviet spacecraft Lunik journey?
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Answers
One, John XXIII, Christine Jorgensen, The Nautilus, Pole Lamp, King George VI, The Edsel, The American Nazi Party, National Aeronautics and Space Administration, Sputnik, BONUS- To the Moon,
Todays post will take us on a short time-travel trip to the 1940’s. This will be the first of five trivia posts from past decades from the 1940’s through the 1980’s. These first few questions may be difficult since most readers weren’t alive in the 40’s but if your a fan of history you may learn a few mostly forgotten facts. Let’s get started. As always the answers will be listed below.
What important journal was found in Amsterdam following World War II?
In what year was Korea split in two?
On what day of the week was Pearl Harbor bombed?
Who coined the phrase “Iron Curtin”?
What newspaper ran the infamous headline “Dewey Defeats Truman”?
In what island group is Corregidor, which fell to the Japanese in 1942.
From what nation did Sri Lanka (then Ceylon) gain it’s independence in 1948?
The body of what World War II leader was hung upside down in public?
What world leader in 1943 survived a bomb set by his generals to assassinate him?
What was the nickname given the the Nazi general Erwin Rommel?
BONUS Question
What two world leaders met in Casablanca in 1943?
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Answers
The Diary of Ann Frank, 1948, Sunday, Winston Churchill, The Chicago Daily Tribune, The Philippines, Great Britain, Benito Mussolini, Adolph Hitler, The Desert Fox, BONUS-Churchill and Roosevelt
everyuselessthing.com 