Archive for the ‘Just Saying’ Category

06/27/2022 🧔🏻Hipsters👩🏻‍🦰   Leave a comment

Hipsterism seems to be a subculture primarily identified by pretentious and what they think is trendy fashion. Oh yeah, don’t forget their obsession for beards and moustaches of all sorts (guys only). If you like skinny jeans, vintage clothes, indie and alternative music, then you’re likely to be labeled a hipster. To some that term isn’t complimentary but just a sarcastic description.

In general, I have no problem with stepping outside the box to become rebellious in an interesting way. I also think that their interests in the gentrification of many of our urban areas is drastically needed. Hipsters appear to have been given a bad rap by many and accused of being fake in their so-called rebellion.

I’d like to address that criticism because it’s coming from generations of hippies, goth’s, punk rockers, New Agers, Steam Punkers, Grungers, Beatniks, and LGBTIQI’s. It’s time to let the hipsters have their moment in the spotlight. Everyone knows that just as all of these other subcultures, hipsters will have their place in history. Twenty years from now the next few countercultures will find themselves being compared by their parents and grandparents, to the hipster movement. Diversity rules in all things whether we all like it or not. Live your life and let the hipsters have their moment.

HOW BORING THINGS WOULD BE IF WE WERE ALL THE SAME

06/26/2022 🙉More Malaprops🙉   1 comment

A few weeks ago, I posted about some language oddities called malaprops. To quote a reader who responded to that post, “Those things are like fingernails on a blackboard to me.” So, I thought today would be a good day to run some fingernails over that same blackboard, just for the fun of it. This time I’ll give you a list of malaprops written by grade schoolers, high schoolers, and a few college geniuses. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

  • Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.
  • The walls of Notre Dame Cathedral are supported by flying buttocks.
  • Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
  • Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
  • People have sex, while nouns have genders.

  • Christmas is a time for happiness for every child, adult, and adulteress.
  • Most words are easy to spell once you get the letters write.
  • The bowels are a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y.
  • The climate of the Sahara Desert is so hot that certain areas are cultivated by irritation.
  • The United States Constitution was adopted to secure domestic hostility.

YOU GOTTA LUV OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM

06/25/2022 “Lewd, Screwed, and Tattooed”   Leave a comment

🍩🍆🍩🍆🍩

A few weeks ago, I promised you limerick lovers some really bawdy and rude limericks. I have quite a collection of those, but I hesitate to post them because it would be really bad if any children were to read them. I recently bought a book from an online thrift store which contains 1001 of the rudest limericks I’ve ever seen. I’m still considering whether to post any of them or at least try to find a few that are a little less objectionable.

Just to give you some idea what I’m talking about I thought I would regale you with an erotic poem written by the author of the book, Mr. Ronald Stanza. This little ditty was copied directly from the rear page of his book cover. Good luck.

❤️

Here now is a steamy collection

Of limericks rare. Each selection

Will run for five lines,

Contain marvelous rhymes –

Detailing sex acts of subtle complexion.

🤤🤤🤤

Though often the rhyming is coarse

And the meter is ragged, or worse.

Positions are randy

The sex is jim-dandy

In this book of libidinous verse.

😋😋😋

Some readers may think that it’s crude

To offer for sale what is lewd

But if you’re offended

By what is appended.

We’ll say what you are: you’re a prude!

😏😏😏

For others the thought of an organ

Of sex is a scream. And it’s sure fun

To peep and to poke

And make sex a joke.

If a fault, it’s delightfully human!

🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆

The more I read this little ditty the more I like it. A special thanks goes out to Mr. Ronald Stanza for his fine work. I’ll let you know about the final decision on the week of lewd limericks in a few days, but it isn’t looking good.

HAVE A GREAT (AND HOPEFULLY LEWD) WEEKEND

06/24/2022 “Look Back to 1940”   Leave a comment

I always enjoy looking back at my life and learning things I either never knew or have forgotten. Recently I obtained some literature from the year 1940. That’s a long time ago and I can appreciate that since I was born only six years later. Let’s see what 1940 had to offer its citizens.

  • Local dime stores were the place to be as a child. Candy and soda pop were the favorites.
  • Newspaper headline from January: OSKAR SHINDLER BEGINS PROVIDING REFUGE FOR KRAKOW JEWS
  • Jack Nicklaus was born on January 21st.
  • Formal dancing, accompanied by the sounds of the big bands of the day, was a great way to conclude a celebrative event.
  • The Philadelphia Story and Fantasia were the top box office hits. One of Disney’s first animated hits, Pinocchio, was released as a feature-length film.
  • Tom Brokaw, Ted Koppel, and Fran Tarkington were all born in February.
  • The use of telephones was in its infancy. Party lines were shared lines and kept everyone in the loop, as those online could quietly listen to any conversations at hand.
  • Winston Churchill became the Prime Minister of Great Britain.
  • On May 15, 1940, the first nylon stockings went on sale.
  • The state of New York hosted the World’s Fair at Flushing Meadows.
  • On November 7, 1940, the Tacoma Narrows bridge collapsed into the water. The only casualty was a dog sadly left in the car as its owner fled.
  • FDR was president, the population of the United States was at 132 million, and the average salary for a full-time employee was $1200 a year. The minimum wage was $.30 an hour.
  • The first McDonald’s restaurant opened on May 15, 1940, in San Bernardino California.
  • On January 31, 1940, Ida M. Fuller became the first American citizen to receive a Social Security check.
  • Bread was $.08 a loaf, bacon $.27 a pound, eggs $.33 a dozen, milk $.26 a gallon, coffee $.21 a pound, gasoline $.11 a gallon, a movie ticket was $.24, postage stamps were $ $.03’s, average cars costs $990, and the cost for a single-family home on average was $2938.

AND WORLD WAR II WAS ON THE HORIZON

06/23/2022 🤖The Final Frontier🤖   Leave a comment

HOME SWEET HOME

With space travel once again becoming fashionable, we can thank the SpaceX corporation. Not only have they been innovative, but they’ve also become a thorn in the side for NASA. It’s good for the country to finally have a competitor for NASA that is quite simply “kicking their butt” and giving the big finger to the Russians as well. I foresee China as eventually becoming the leader in all things space-related unless some catastrophe slows them down a little. Unfortunately, I don’t see them reacting to disasters as we do. They would likely close ranks and keep right on going until their goals are met. Elon Musk will become their only real competitor for a time. With all of that in mind let’s check out a little “Out of This World” trivia.

  • A 150-pound earthling weighs in at 4200 pounds on the sun’s surface.
  • A lightning bolt on earth is hotter than the surface of the sun.
  • On Venus, the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
  • Also, on Venus their day is longer than their year. It takes longer for Venus to rotate on its own axis than it does to complete one orbit around the sun.
  • NASA uses the same rocket technology used by TIE fighters in the Star Wars saga. TIE stands for “Twin Ion Engine” which propelled a deep space probe launched by NASA in 1999.
THE SUN
  • More than 1000 earths would fit inside Jupiter.
  • All the other planets in the solar system would also fit inside Jupiter twice.
  • Gravity is caused by a warping of space and time.
  • Time has not always existed. According to Einstein’s general theory of relativity, before the Big Bang, everything, including time, was packed together into an extremely tiny dot.
  • “Ten elite brains” is an anagram of Albert Einstein.
VENUS

BANG, ZOOM, TO THE MOON ALICE

06/22/2022 😵Not Living😵   2 comments

“Death is the wish of some, the relief of many, and the end of all”

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I’ve come to the conclusion over the last few years after talking to a lot of my former and late friends, that after you’re labelled a Senior Citizen at age 50, you begin to think more about death than before. That’s a pretty depressing thought but in most cases I think it’s true. Today’s posting concerns death from a number of different angles and in my opinion, it makes for an interesting and depressing read.

  • You are 14% more likely to die on your birthday, compared to any other day of the year.
  • On average, more than 135,000 people will die on your next birthday and 360,000 will be born.
  • Wednesday by far is the most popular day to commit suicide.
  • More people die in New York City from suicide each year than from murder.
  • San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge is the most popular “suicide bridge” in the United States.
  • There are approximately 150 people killed each year from being struck on the head by a coconut.
  • Mosquitoes, human beings, and snakes are the three most deadly animals in the world in that order.
  • Each year more people are killed by hippopotamuses than by lions, sharks, and elephants combined.
THE BLACK DEATH
  • The Black Death is history’s most deadly verifiable plague. It swept through Europe and Asia Minor in the 1340’s and 50’s, killing an estimated 25 to 60 percent of Europe’s population.
THE SPANISH FLU
  • The Spanish Flu was a very virulent strain of influenza that spread through Asia, Europe, and North America in the spring of 1918. Healthy adults were especially hard hit. The global death toll is estimated between 25-100 million.

That should be enough depression for today. The Covid-19 pandemic is frightening but the numbers from the Black Death and Spanish Flu are even scarier. Glad I wasn’t around for either of them.

“No one here gets out alive”

Jim Morrison

06/21/2022 What . . . Huh?   Leave a comment

I love sharing quotations with you and I have more of them than I have limericks. I know that’s hard to believe but it’s true. Most quotations are meant to offer up some sort of truth or to pluck at our sentimental heartstrings. Those are all fine and good but really not the ones I like best. I love celebrity quotes because most of them are humorous, and they help to humanize celebrities that always need a little humanizing. Here are a few I discovered.

  • “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas A. Edison
  • “Music should strike fire from the heart of man and bring tears from the eyes of woman.” Ludvig von Beethoven
  • “Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.” Ogden Nash
  • “If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.” Sir Paul McCartney
  • “I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.” Fran Leibowitz
  • “There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.” Mark Twain
  • “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

LET’S HOPE THEY NEVER STOP REGALING US WITH THEIR WISDOM

06/18/2022 “Classified Ads”   Leave a comment

I thought I’d regale you with more of that useless information I continue to collect. Since everyone seems to be so fascinated by Craigs List ads and personal ads on those numerous dating sights, I thought today would be a good day for me to jump into that end of the pool. Here is a collection of classified ads that are strange, odd, misprinted, and really funny. Would you be the person to respond to ads like this? I’ll bet you would.

  • “Wanted: Man, to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.”
  • “Our experienced mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.”
  • “Wanted: Widower with school-aged children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to the growth of the family.”
  • “One man, seven-woman hot tub – $850/Offer.”
  • “Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.”
  • Free: One can of pork & beans with the purchase of a three bedroom, two bath home.”
  • “Full-sized mattress: 20-year warranty, like new, slight urine smell.”
  • “Nice parachute – never opened – used only once – slightly stained.”
  • Found: Dirty white dog . . . looks like a rat . . . been out a while . . . better be a reward.”
  • For sale: An antique desk suitable for a lady with thick legs and large drawers.”

It seems to me after reading all of these ads they’re no worse than those approved and published by numerous stupid newspaper editors across the country.

ONLY THEIR SPELLCHECKER SEEMS TO WORK

06/12/2022 “Dogs”   Leave a comment

My father was a dog lover. My mother was a dog lover. I am not. My father trained hunting dogs and in his kennel were normally 15-20 adult dogs and upwards of 10-20 puppies. One of my chores and punishments was the shoveling and removal of their droppings on a daily basis. Many wheelbarrow loads later I decided dogs would never be my favorite pet. This may upset some of you “dog” people out there but so be it. I tried having dogs as pets in my twenties but I was a dismal failure. I eventually switched over to cats and became an official “cat” person. Here are a few facts from the history of dogs.

  • In the 11th century the king of Norway, upset with his subjects, named his dog Saur to the throne. He reigned for three years as king. Note: “Dog Days” came to mean something totally different than it does today.
  • In the 1600’s in Japan the shogun, Tokugawa Tsunayoshi, passed laws to protect dogs. Anyone who injured, harmed, killed, or annoyed a dog could be exiled, jailed, or executed. In one month alone in 1687 300 people were executed for being unkind to dogs. In his 30-year reign more than 60,000 people were put to death because of dogs. Note: Give me a cat anytime.
  • In China dogs lived a double life. Some were treated as royalty by the elite of the county and were a preferred gift for the emperor and his minions. The other side of the Chinese coin was that the common folk more often than not ate dogs as a main course for their evening meal. Note: I know that eating dog is disgusting but unfortunately it still goes on to this day. Once I mistakenly ate a bowl of dog soup in Korea in 1968. I don’t recommend it.)
  • Laika, the first dog to fly into outer space aboard Sputnick II, became one of the most famous dogs in the world. Unfortunately, the pooch passed away a few hours into the flight from overheating. Both a cosmonaut and a hotdog. Note: That was a joke, so don’t send any nasty comments.

CATS RULE!

06/11/2022 “Artists?”   2 comments

I’ve always considered myself something of an artist. Most artists lack a certain amount of self-confidence about their works and don’t even understand why. I know I do. Other people view artists entirely different than the artists themselves. It’s something I’ve been trying to figure out for most of my life and no matter how much I create I always have doubts about my abilities. Even the people close to me don’t get it at all. It’s frustrating to say the least and I’ll probably never figure it out. Every artist I’ve ever known suffers through the same nonsense in one way or another. Here are a few quotes about art and artists from some of the greats of history.

  • “All art is subversive.” Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
  • “An artist must have his measuring tools not in the hand, but in the eye.” Michaelangelo (1475-1564)
  • “The more I become decomposed, the more sick and fragile I am, the more I become an artist.” Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890)”
  • “Today, as you know, I am famous and very rich. But when I’m alone with myself, I haven’t the courage to consider myself an artist, in the great and ancient sense of the word . . . I’m only a public entertainer, who understands his age.” Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

It makes me feel better about myself when I hear doubts voiced by great artist like Picasso. I can put my doubts to rest for now but without question they’ll return as soon as my next project begins.

“IT IS ART, AND ART ALONE, THAT REVEALS US TO OURSELVES”

(Oscar Wilde 1854-1900)

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