I have to admit that most of my readers are rather particular about the limericks I post. Of all of my posts, the dirtiest limericks seem to get the most views while the readership lessens considerably the cleaner the limericks become. That should tell me something about my readers but I’m not actually sure what that is. Todays offerings contain some really old limericks that concern sexual DISEASES. That’s all I’m saying, see what you think.
I am what could be considered a member of the first “TV Generation”. I saw my first B&W television in the early 1950’s and I’ve been hooked ever since. During the years 1967-1970 I was in the Army in an area that offered just radio but no television at all and I suffered. Once I returned home after my service I became truly obsessed and addicted once again. There are millions just like me from at least three generations and that’s who this quiz is targeting. Here are the “dirty dozen + one” trivia questions from the early years of TV . . . lets see how you do. As always the answers will be listed below.
What soap star played the voice of Charlie on “Charlies Angels“?
Which two “Different Strokes” stars were sent to prison for criminal felonies?
Which actors demands for higher pay caused the demise of the “Mork & Mindy” show?
What dancing movie star played Bandit, the leader of a law-enforcement gang, in the short-lived show “The Renegades”?
Which of the stars from “Barney Miller” died during the shows run?
Which star of “Welcome Back, Kotter” became one of the biggest movie stars of the 1970’s and beyond?
Which star of “One Day at a Time” once shared cocaine with her father.
What famous actor/comedian played Jodie. the homosexual on “Soap”
Who was the last member of the original cast of “Saturday Night Live” to be hired?
What movie star-turned-director got his big break as Rowdy Yates on “Rawhide”?
What “Star Trek” actor played Robin on “Mission: Impossible”?
What two actors on “Taxi” also appeared in the film “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”?
Here is one of My Favorite actors who deserves a BONUS mention:
Which actor from “WKRP in Cincinnati” went on to star as a teacher on “The Head of the Class”?
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HOW MANY DID YOU KNOW?
Answers
John Forsythe, Dana Plato (armed robbery) and Todd Bridges (attempted murder), Pam Dauber, Patrick Swayze, Jack Soo (Nick Yemana), John Travolta (Vinnie Barbarino), Mackenzie Phillips (Julie), Billie Crystal, John Belushi, Clint Eastwood, Leonard Nimoy, Danny DeVito & Christopher Lloyd, BONUS: Howard Hesseman (Doctor Johnny Fever)
I’ve been writing a blog of one sort or another for almost twenty years and covered everything and anything that tickled my fancy. Approximately six months ago (I’m guessing) I posted a Bible Trivia Quiz which was moderately received by my ever so faithful readers. I normally shy way from religion as a tropic of discussion but thanks to a persistent reader I will make an exception today. A young gentleman from Alabama has sent me so many email requests to do more with Bible trivia that today I’ll be posting something that just might convince him to remove me from his mailing list. The answers will be posted below. Todays topic will be:
Biblical Multiple Marriages
What king had 700 wives and 300 concubines?
Who was first man in the Bible mentioned as having more than one wife?
Who fathered 70 sons by his many wives?
What hairy man had three wives named Judith, Bashemath, and Mahalath?
Who married sisters Rachael and Leah?
Whose father had two wives named Hannah and Peninnah?
What early king had two wives named Ahinoam and Rizpah?
What women was married to two of Judah’s sons?
What New Testament woman had at least five husbands?
What son of Solomon had 18 wives and 60 concubines?
LOVE OR PUNISHMENT – WHO KNOWS?
Answers
Solomon (1 Kings 11:3), Sapphira (Act 5:5-10), Gideon (Judges 8:30), Esau (Genesis 26:24: 28:9), Jacob (29:15-25), Samuel (1 Samuel 1:1-2), Saul (1 Samuel 14:50: 2 Samuel 3:7), Tamar (Genesis 38:6-10), The woman at the well (John 4:6-19), Rehoboam (2 Chronicles 11:21)
Human beings are strange animals. We all seem to think that everything we think and speak is something new and original and profound. It’s not until we mature into thinking adults (most of us) that we realize just how repetitive and cyclical almost everything is. Todays post will concern a few classic nursery rhymes we’ve all heard or used and the approximate date of their origins. Have fun.
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“Hush-a-Bye Baby” – 1765, New England
Hush-a-bye baby, on the tree top,
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock;
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,
Down will come baby, cradle, and all.
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“Baa, Baa, Black Sheep” – Pre-1760, England
Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes, sir, yes, sir,
Three bags full . . .
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“Hey Diddle Diddle” – Post-1569, Europe
Hey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon . . .
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“Sing a Song of Sixpence” – Pre-1744 – England
Sing a song of sixpence,
A pocket full of rye;
Four and twenty blackbirds,
Baked in a pie.
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Here’s a special ditty just for Mary (my better-half).
“Mary, Mary” – 18th Century – England
Mary, Mary quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells,
and pretty maids all in a row.
Secular tradition claims the original ” Mary” was actually Mary, Queen of Scots
I’m a consistent user of quotations. Sometimes they’re funny and other times they only assist my poor writings to make them seem more pertinent. Todays post contains a variety of quotes from a host of known and unknown writers. Some are funny and some not so funny. You may recognize the names of the authors and maybe you won’t. It’s not really about the authors but what they’ve written. Even people who are not well known actually have the ability to say some truly profound things.
“The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn’t have that rule when Jesus was born.” Elaine Boosler
“It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing Milk Bone shorts.” Kelly Allen
“Human kind cannot bear very much reality.” T.S. Eliot
“When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason – there’s a reason.” Molly McGee
“The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.” Rebecca West
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“The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married and the married wish to be dead.” Ann Landers
“Canadians should come down to California and take the jobs away from our Mexicans.” Stanley Ralph Ross
“Politics is a means of preventing people from taking part in what properly concerns them.” Paul Valery
Wise men talk because they have somethin to say; fools talk because they have to say something. Plato
“A good husband is healthy and absent.” Japanese Proverb
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“My cat shit on my last painting. Should I take it personally?”
Are you ready for a new batch of disturbing, disgusting, and naughty limericks? One of my biggest problems in posting limericks is that I have thousands of them available but in most cases they are extremely difficult to categorize. I made the ultimate sacrifice recently and forced myself to read hundreds of limericks and to try and establish some sort of categories. Todays post will include limericks concerning Sex Substitutes. These will be copied directly from my collections with rather blunt, off-color, and the occasional appropriate profanity. These will be rated “R”, so keep the youngsters away. Lets get rolling . . .
As I spend a great deal of my day sitting at this computer, it gives me time to think and possibly overthink everything. I feel like I have a comprehensive view of the world and all of it’s effed up citizens and countries. The more you discover about the human race the worse it seems to get. If the World Cup didn’t tell all of us Americans just how lucky we are in comparison to every other country on earth, just listen to their citizens as they post about us. Americans do more pissing and moaning about their circumstances and never fail to trash American at every turn. These visiting Europeans are setting a fine example for all of our disgruntled Americans. They’ve been lied to for decades about this country and realized it almost immediately upon their arrival. The “bitchers and moaners” in this country should be required to spend a couple of weeks anywhere else and maybe just maybe they’ll gain a better perspective about their home. Take thousands of dollars of your hard earned money and attend the next World Cup. Pay for travel, food, lodging, and entry fees and then get back to me. Just be careful and don’t drink the water. LOL
“Good leaders make for good countries.” ME!
“High sentiments always win in the end. The leaders who offer blood, toil, tears and sweat always get more out their followers than those who offer safety and a good time. When it comes to the pinch, human beings are heroic.” George Orwell
“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.” Gen. George S. Patton Jr.
“I am more afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion than an army of lions led by a sheep.” Talleyrand
“My view is that to sit back and let fate play it’s hand and never influence it is not the way man was meant to operate.” John Glenn
“Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way.” Abraham Lincoln
I’ve been watching hundreds of Europeans since the World Cup ended who seem to be quite taken with the USA and especially all things Texas. Here’s another little gift directly from the wild, wild, west to all of those visitors. Even our limericks rock . . . .
I love American history and will find, purchase, and read anything remotely related to it. Todays post will supply you lovers of history with a few facts you may not be familiar with. The first section will list the normal necessities of the early American soldiers.
A flintlock musket and bayonet.
A bayonet and spontoon (a large metal spearhead on a wooden pike).
A sword for Infantry officers and a heavy saber for Cavalry.
A Tomahawk or Axe if no bayonet was available.
A Cartridge bag containing cartridge paper, lead balls, and black powder. Riflemen carried powder horns and shot bags.
A Flint and tinderbox for staring fires.
A hunting knife, knapsack and blanket.
A canteen with folding eating utensils, scissors, and fishhook.
A sundial compass.
AND NOW YOU’RE READY TO FIGHT
A Serious Footnote
In those days women weren’t permitted in combat but here’s a story of one determined woman named Deborah Sampson. Her ancestors arrived on the Mayflower and she spent most of her childhood as an indentured servant. At the age of 21 she disguised herself as a man and enlisted in the Massachusetts militia as a infantry soldier, fighting as “Robert Shurtleft” (her deceased brother) for almost 2 years. When rumors of her deception spread in her hometown, she was excommunicated by her Baptist church for “dressing in men’s clothing”. Badly wounded at Tarrytown, she treated herself. Later when she contracted a fever in Philadelphia, an Army doctor discovered her secret and General George Washington may have been advised. Neither man betrayed her, and under her assumed name, she received an honorable discharge as “Robert Shurtleft”. Her subsequent efforts to receive a military pension were championed by no less than Paul Revere.
