Archive for the ‘Quotations’ Category

01/21/2023 “Everyone Loves Brad Pitt ???”   2 comments

I’m fairly certain that most women in this county at one time or another have drooled over Brad Pitt. He’s been the epitome of male sexuality for many years and many women. I’ve even heard a large number of female celebrities gushing over him on the endless talk shows that fill the TV air. I’m also willing to bet he’s had his fill of the notoriety as reflected by some of his statements over the years. Thanks to Uncle John for supplying me with the following quotes of a few male celebrities who’ve stated, “I’m no Brad Pitt”.

  • “I’m certainly not Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt.” Jason Stratham
  • “The real challenge is if you don’t look super sexy, like Brad Pitt, you’re going to have to try harder.” Jack Black
  • “If I could be anyone, it would be Brad Pitt.” David Fincher
  • “I’m clearly not Brad Pitt, and I’m never going to be Brad Pitt.” Paul Giamatti

  • “Unless you look like Brad Pitt, it’s really hard to have full control of your character.” Vincent Donofrio
  • “No matter what heights you achieve, even if you are Brad Pitt, the slide is coming, sure as death and taxes.” James Caan
  • “In this business, you’re either Brad Pitt right away, or you’re already going down the ladder.” Skeet Ulrich
  • “For me, personally, I’m a 5’5″ leading man. I’m no Brad Pitt or anything.” Jeremy Luke

And last but not least a quote from the famous and handsome Brad Pitt.

“Heartthrobs are a dime a dozen.” Brad Pitt

01/15/2023 🏈🏈Hilarious Sports Quotes”🏈🏈   Leave a comment

In the past I’ve had my fun with statements made by baseball players, football players, and basketball players. Just to be fair I thought today would be a good day for some ridiculous statements from an assortment of other sports to include some of their genius sportscasters and their pearls of wisdom.

  • And he’s got the ice pack on his groin him there, so it’s possibly not the old shoulder injury. -Ray French, rugby sportscaster
  • Venezuela! Great, that’s the Italian city with the guys in the boats, right? -Murad Muhammad, on being told about a boxing match in South America
  • And for those of you watching on black-and-white, the pink ball is the one behind the blue. -TV billiards commentator
  • I don’t want to tell you any half-truths unless they’re completely accurate. -Dennis Rapoport, boxing manager
  • It’s about 90% strength and 40% technique. -Johnny Walker, world middleweight wrist wrestling champion

🏀🏀🏀

  • Cycling is a good thing for the youngsters, because it keeps them off the streets. -Daniel Mean, commentator
  • It’s a catch he would’ve caught 99 times out of 1000. -Henry Blofeld
  • I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad that I won rather than lost. -Frank Bruno, boxer
  • The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. -Murray Walker
  • There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious. -Alan Minter, former prizefighter

⚽⚽⚽

  • We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other. -Barry Back, New York Ranger, explaining a championship game brawl
  • If I wasn’t talking, I wouldn’t know what to say. -Chico Resch, New York Islanders goalie
  • He called me a rapist and a recluse. I’m not a recluse. -Mike Tyson, boxer
  • On what? -boxer Chris Eubank, when asked whether he thought about writing his autobiography.
  • It’s basically the same, just darker. -Alan Kulwicki, Stock-car racer, on racing at night instead of during the afternoon

⚾⚾⚾

ENJOY YOUR WILDCARD SUNDAY

Next Year!!!

01/09/2023 “War of the Sexes”   Leave a comment

I’m a bit of a fanatic using quotes on many of my posts since I normally use them to further verify a point or opinion I’m trying to make. I’m a believer than even though many of the persons I quote are long dead, their opinions and thoughts are still valid. Human nature unfortunately doesn’t change all that much from one generation to another. Back in the day there were just as many annoying a-holes as there are today. The funny thing is they express their a-holeness in exactly the same way. This just further supports my use of them whenever I deem it necessary. Not all quotes are friendly and nice and there are just as many derogatory things said about damn near everyone as not. Let’s take a look at a few not so flattering quotes concerning men by a group of less than happy women.

  • “A man is a creature with two legs and eight arms.” Jayne Mansfield
  • “God created Adam. Then corrected her mistake.” Brooklyn Woman’s Bar Association
  • “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” Charlotte Whitton
  • “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Gloria Steinem
  • “I married beneath me. All women do.” Nancy Astor

  • “A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.” Anonymous
  • “The man is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.” Jilly Cooper, Cosmopolitan Magazine
  • “I require three things on the man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.” Dorothy Parker
  • “A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • “Adam came first, but men always do.” Anonymous

THE WAR OF THE SEXES CONTINUES

01/07/2023 “Optimist v. Pessimist”   Leave a comment

For most of my life I’ve been called a pessimist, a cynic, and an all-around “downer”. I’m not too crazy about the term cynic and the term pessimist is primarily used only by those folks that consider themselves optimists. First of all, the term cynic doesn’t apply, I am a pragmatist. Cynic is a derogatory term used primarily by optimists to denigrate those of us who prefer a stark truth to a flowery disappointment. As far as being a “downer”, that’s a term that makes no sense whatsoever. Speaking the truth is never a “downer”, it’s just that simple. Here is the posted definition of an optimist directly from Wikipedia and we all know they never make mistakes.

optimist (ˈäp-tə-mist), noun

A person who is inclined to be hopeful and to expect good outcomes.

I know many, many, optimists and had many discussions and arguments about the advantages of being pragmatic and not having good thoughts about every damn thing you can think of. With that thought in mind I decided to do a little research to get some thoughts on optimism from a few so-called experts. Let’s see what you think about this.

  • Optimism: A cheerful frame of mind that enables a teakettle to sing though in hot water up to its nose.
  • An optimist is a man who, instead of feeling sorry he cannot pay his bills, is glad he is not one of his creditors.
  • Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. Italian saying
  • If you count the sunny and cloudy days of the whole year, you will find that the sunshine predominates.
  • A cheerful resignation is always heroic, but no phase of life is so pathetic as a forced optimism. Elbert Hubbard
  • An optimist is one who believes that a fly is looking for a way to get out.
  • If it weren’t for the optimist, the pessimist wouldn’t know how happy he isn’t.

After reading the above, what kind of person are you? Are you a glass half-full person or a glass half empty person? I stand proudly as a pragmatist against any and all optimists. It’s just that I prefer reality rather than a continuing hopefulness that everything will be just fine, and everyone will own their own unicorn. Here’s a quote from one of my favorite writers and his definition of pessimism, I hope all of you optimists out there enjoy it.

Pessimist – One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.

Oscar Wilde

01/03/2023 “Happy Birthday J.R.R.”   Leave a comment

John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (1892–1973)

I’m not one to celebrate birthdays on this blog but as with everything there are exceptions. Today is the birthday of my favorite writer whose works have captivated me for more than fifty years. It all started in 1968 while I was serving in the Republic of South Korea. I discovered a copy of the Hobbit in the hooch of a young lady I was seeing. She couldn’t read English and I had no reading material worth reading at the time. She made it a gift to me, and I began reading it immediately.

I became lost in his world of the Shire, the hobbits, the dwarves, the elves, and the wizards. I read a portion of that book by the light of a flashlight as I sat in a foxhole. I had no access to the trilogy at that time and was forced to take a short leave, a quick hop on an Air Force plane to the Tokyo PX, where I purchased my first copies.

Over the years I’ve read those books at least a dozen times. Along the way I read everything I could find about J.R.R. including a number of books later published by his son. I still have some beautiful calendars from the 1970’s and 1980’s painted by a number of well-known artist of scenes from his stories. I also found out that alcohol and tattooing mix rather well together since I have the door symbol from the door of Moria on my upper arm. Right next to that I have a beautiful tattoo of Smaug.

I almost lost my mind when someone who was real fan of the books made the movies. I never thought it would happen. I was again truly excited when Amazon and Jeff Bezos released the latest prequel, The Rings of Power. I was happy to see they did a great job in tying it into the original story line. I became so interested I went back and began reading the Silmarillion for the fifth time. I look forward to the new season as any good fan would.

The man was amazing, and his works will be read and loved by millions more in the coming years.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN

12/28/2022 An Examined Life #4   3 comments

\

“The unexamined life is not worth living”

Socrates

Since Christmas has finally come and gone, I thought another installment of An Examined Life would get us all thinking about the end of another year and what we’ve accomplished or didn’t accomplish. Maybe these postings can assist us in deciding what our New Year’s resolutions might be. They’re always fun to write and I’ll be posting mine very soon. How about you?

  • When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  • You have the power to go any distance into the future and after one year, return to the present with any knowledge you have gained from your experience, but you cannot bring any physical objects with you. Would you make the journey if it carried a 50% risk of death?
  • Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest? As your closest friend? As your lover?
  • While working late at night, you slightly scraped the side of a nearby Porsche. You’re certain no one else is aware of what happened. The damage is minor and would not be covered by insurance anyway. Would you leave a note?
  • If you could choose the manner of your death, what would it be?

*****

  • Do you have any specific long-term goals? What is one and how you plan to reach it?
  • For what in your life do you feel the most grateful?
  • How do you react when people sing “Happy Birthday” to you in a restaurant?
  • What is the worst psychological torture you can imagine suffering? Anything causing even minor physical injury should not be considered.
  • Would you like your spouse to be both smarter and more attractive than you?

*****

  • If you found that a good friend had AIDS, would you avoid him or her? What if your brother or sister had it?
  • Would you be willing to give up sex for one year if you knew it would give you a much deeper sense of peace than you have now?
  • A good friend pulls off a well-conceived practical joke that plays on one of your foibles and makes you look ridiculous. How would you react?
  • By controlling medical research funds, you are in the position to guarantee that a cure will be found in fifteen years for any disease you choose. Unfortunately, no progress on any others would be made during that period. Would you target one disease?
  • Would you accept one year of life if it meant taking one year from the life of someone in the world selected at random? Would it matter if you were told whose life you had shortened?

*****

THESE SHOULD GENERATE SOME CONVERSATIONS

12/22/2022 “Christmas Humor”   Leave a comment

It’s important to maintain a sense of humor with all of the anticipated stresses of these holidays. Here are two quotes and a hilarious joke that will hopefully put a smile on your face. Enjoy . . .

***

A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas. After all, they’ve only been dating for three weeks so it seems like the ideal gift – romantic, yet not too personal. He asks the girlfriend’s younger sister to accompany him to buy them then so she can point out a pair she’d like. They go to the mall and the sister points out a pair of white gloves which the guy then buys. The sister then picks up a pair of panties for herself and buys them. But during the wrapping, the clerk mixes up the parcels without anyone realizing. As a result, the sister gets the gloves, and the guy takes home a gift box containing the panties.

***

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”

Shirley Temple

***

Without checking, the guy rushes the gift to his sweetheart, but only after drafting this loving and helpful note to accompany it: “I chose these because I notice you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair she’d been wearing for the last three weeks, and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

***

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”

Bernard Manning

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time. There’s no doubt that other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for the coming Christmas Eve.

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.”

***

WE ALL NEED A LAUGH – IT’S ABOUT TO GET CRAZY

3 DAYS LEFT

12/20/2022 🎄A Twain Christmas🎄   2 comments

I’ve been a fan of Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) since my early teens. His subtle sense of humor and satirical skills captured me immediately. His story telling is as good as it gets which is why after more than sixty-five years, I can still recall passages from his books as well as descriptions of the characters he skillfully created. In 1875, Mark Twain wrote a letter to his daughter Susie, who was three years old at the time. He conveys beautifully the spirit of Christmas and his love for his daughter. Unfortunately, she passed away at the age of twenty-four. Here is a copy of that letter. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

“A Letter From Santa Claus” by Mark Twain

My Dear Susie Clemens,

I have received and read all the letters which you and your little sister have written me. I can read your and your baby sister’s jagged and fantastic marks without any trouble at all. But I had trouble with those letters which you dictated through your mother and the nurses, for I am a foreigner and cannot read English writing well. You will find that I made no mistakes about the things which you and the baby ordered in your own letters – I went down your chimney at midnight when you were asleep and delivered them all myself – and kissed both of you, too. But there were one or two small orders which I could not fill because we ran out of stock …

There was a word or two in your mama’s letter which I took to be “a trunk full of doll’s clothes.” Is that it? I will call at your kitchen door about nine o’clock this morning to inquire. But I must not see anybody, and I must not speak to anybody but you. When the kitchen doorbell rings, George must be blindfolded and sent to the door. You must tell George he must walk on tiptoe and not speak—otherwise he will die someday. Then you must go up to the nursery and stand on a chair or the nurse’s bed and put your ear to the speaking tube that leads down to the kitchen and when I whistle through it you must speak in the tube and say, “Welcome, Santa Claus!” Then I will ask whether it was a trunk you ordered or not. If you say it was, I shall ask you what color you want the trunk to be and then you must tell me every single thing in detail which you want the trunk to contain. Then when I say “Good-by and a merry Christmas to my little Susy Clemens,” you must say “Good-by, good old Santa Claus, I thank you very much.” Then you must go down into the library and make George close all the doors that open into the main hall, and everybody must keep still for a little while.

I will go to the moon and get those things and in a few minutes I will come down the chimney that belongs to the fireplace that is in the hall – if it is a trunk you want – because I couldn’t get such a thing as a trunk down the nursery chimney, you know. If I should leave any snow in the hall, you must tell George to sweep it into the fireplace, for I haven’t time to do such things. George must not use a broom, but a rag – else he will die someday. If my boot should leave a stain on the marble, George must not holystone it away. Leave it there always in memory of my visit; and whenever you look at it or show it to anybody you must let it remind you to be a good little girl. Whenever you are naughty and someone points to that mark which your good old Santa Claus’s boot made on the marble, what will you say, little sweetheart?

Good-by for a few minutes, till I come down to the world and ring the kitchen doorbell.

Your loving Santa Claus
Whom people sometimes call
“The Man in the Moon”

MERRY CHRISTMAS

And thank you Mark.

12/09/2022 “An Examined Life #1”   2 comments

It is better to make a mistake with full force of your being than to carefully avoid mistakes with a trembling spirit. Socrates

I really want to break away from all of the Christmas hoopla for a few days. This post will not be about trivia but questions to help determine your values, your beliefs, and your life; love, money, sex, integrity, generosity, pride and death are all included. I’m going to supply you with fifteen questions (the first of thirteen installments) and these questions could help you to understand yourself a little better. I honestly think that doing it with a spouse or partner would be particularly interesting because of the conversations that would follow. Let’s get started . . .

  • For a person you love deeply, would you be willing to move to a distant country knowing there would be little chance of seeing your family or friends again?
  • Do you believe in ghosts or evil spirits? Would you be willing to spend the night alone in a remote house that is supposedly haunted?
  • If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having called someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
  • If you could spend one year in perfect happiness but afterword would remember nothing of the experience, would you do so? If not, why not?
  • If a new medicine were developed that would cure arthritis but cause a fatal reaction in 1% of those who took it, would you want it to be released to the public?

Falling down is not a failure. Failure comes when you stay where you have fallen. Socrates

  • You discover your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix-up at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try to correct the mistake?
  • Do you think that the world will be a better place or a worse place 100 years from now?
  • Would you rather be a member of a world championship sports team or be the champion of an individual sport? Which sport would you choose?
  • Would you accept $1 million to leave the country and never set foot in it again?
  • Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were of the opposite sex?

The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less. Socrates

  • You are given the power to kill people simply by thinking of their deaths and twice repeating the word “goodbye”. People would die a natural death, and no one would suspect you. Are there any situations in which you would use this power?
  • If you are able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  • What would constitute a “perfect” evening for you?
  • Would you rather be extremely successful professionally and have a tolerable yet unexciting private life, or have an extremely happy private life and only a tolerable and uninspiring professional life?
  • Whom do you admire most? In what way does that person inspire you?

***

More installments will follow. Pour some wine and enjoy the discussion.

Special thanks to Gregory Stock and Socrates.

“The unexamined life is not worth living”

Socrates

11/28/2022 💥”Virginity Limerick Alert”💥   2 comments

I thought today I would revisit a subject most of you vaguely remember and that is virginity. Some of you will barely remember being a virgin and others of you have yet to lose yours. My virginity has been gone so long I almost don’t remember losing it. These little poems will take us all back to that special day and allow us to reminisce a little. Kindly step into the limerick time machine and remember.

A lisping young lady named Beth

Was saved from a fate worse than death.

Seven times in a row,

Which unsettled her so

That she quit saying “No” and said “Yeth.”

🥰🥰🥰

There was a young fellow named Biddle

Whose girl had to teach him to fiddle.

She grabbed hold of his bow

And said “If you must know,

You can try parting my hair in the middle.

🫤🫤🫤

A religious young lassie named Claire

Was having her first love affair.

As she climbed into bed

She reverently said,

“I wish to be opened with a prayer.”

😎😎😎

There was a young girl from Hoboken

Who claimed that her hymen was broken

From riding a bike

On a cobblestone pike,

But it really was broken from pokin’.

🍆🍩🍆

NUFF SAID

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