Archive for July 2022

07/31/2022 Chicken Facts   Leave a comment

Living in Maine is always interesting. Maine is a large state with a very small population and most of the state is covered in forests with a population that consists of many rural folks. After moving here, I noticed that a great many people raise chickens. Every other yard has a chicken coop and a few birds roaming around the property. I always thought it was primarily the eggs everyone wanted but there are a couple of other reasons to have chickens I never considered. They are an easy way to remove bugs and ticks from your property and it’s also a very helpful way to help feed the many hawks, coyotes, and foxes that seem to be everywhere. They have to eat too you know. It’s not at all unusual for a homeowner to initially purchase six chickens and then be forced to replace a few every so often due to missing birds.

You would think these rural folks would be familiar with the many superstitions that surround chicken ownership. My better-half has tried numerous times to convince me to become a chicken owner but I’ve refused. I love eating them but after learning about all of these superstitions . . . no thank you. Here are a few things any potential chicken owner needs to know . . .

  • If a hen roosts at noonday that’s a sign that someone in the family will soon die.
  • Anyone who has the blood of the chickens spilled on their clothes will die an unnatural death.
  • The clucking of a hen near a patient’s head is a sign of death.
  • Watch out for mean gossip about you if you see two hens fighting.
  • If you see hens laying eggs, you will have good luck.
  • If you tie an old tough hen to a fig tree, the hen’s meat will become tender.

  • In Korea it’s unlucky if you hear a rooster crow at sunset and a hen cluck at night.
  • In Africa it’s unlucky for a rooster to crow before midnight.
  • In Germany it is believed that when a rooster crows when a guest is leaving – even if it’s at daybreak – that guest will soon die.
  • If a rooster crows in your cellar door – even at daybreak – it’s a sign of a speedy marriage.
  • If a rooster crows all day, expect rain.
  • If a rooster comes into your home, it’s a sign strangers will soon visit.

I hope that knowing all of these potential issues with chickens will help those of you who are on the fence about chicken ownership. I guess you could call this post a PSA, that’s Public Service Announcement for you chicken owners out there.

CLUCK. . .CLUCK. . .CLUCK

07/30/2022 Odd America History   Leave a comment

I love reading about the history of this country. Not the big splashy headline making history but the odd or lesser-known history. Here are a few factoids you’ve probably never heard of . . .

  • The “American” log cabin got its start in Sweden, where such a building had been popularly used for centuries and was taken to America by the Swedish colonizers of new Sweden, which is now Delaware.
  • The name “United States of America” was coined by a man who lived the last years of his life in disrepute and his bodily remains eventually were lost – Thomas Payne. A chance meeting in London with Benjamin Franklin encouraged his move to America. Later, in 1776 he wrote his popular revolutionary tract Common Sense.
  • In the United States, about 48 billion metal cans, 26 billion bottles, 65 billion metal bottle caps, and 7 million automobiles are junked each year.

  • The United States has about 3,600,000 square miles of land, and on it more than 3,600,000 miles of highways of been constructed. That’s a mile of road to each square mile of land which if combined would pave an area as large as the state of West Virginia.
  • A replica of the head and the torch of the Statue of Liberty sat on the grounds of the Philadelphia Exposition celebrating the US Centennial in 1876, and later in Madison Square on lower Fifth Avenue in New York. A decade passed before enough funds were raised for the erection of the completed statue on Bedloe’s Island in New York Harbor.
  • The Pony Express, which has lived in American legend for more than a century, lived in fact for less than two years. Indian raids curtailed service on the 1,966-mile route between St. Joseph, Missouri, and Sacramento, California, And the transcontinental telegraph finally eliminated it in late 1861.

HAPPY WEEKEND

07/29/2022 More Number Freaking   1 comment

I’ve posted previously about what Number Freaking is all about. If you’re really interested just do a search to read those posts. Today’s number freaking facts and stats concern sex. I knew that would get your attention very quickly. Read on and be educated . . .

  • The Penguin Atlas of Human Sexual Behavior claims sexual intercourse takes place, worldwide, 120 million times every day. Assuming an average of one male per coupling and one orgasm per male It is estimated that 30 million billion (30 quadrillion) sperms are in the hunt every day.
  • Assuming a healthy male can make as many as 1500 sperm a second, in 1 min. he can produce 90,000 sperm.
  • There are 2.2 billion adult women on earth. It would take one man 17 days to make one’s sperm per woman.
  • The average number of kids born per women worldwide is 2.8. So, assume an average woman will lose 28 menstruating months to pregnancy during her lifetime.
  • The average woman will menstruate 19.66 quarts of blood in her lifetime. That’s about the same amount as two cases of wine.

  • The average American man first gets married at the age of 28.7 years and dies at the age of 76. A duration of 47.8 years. If he could manage having sex three times a day every day until he dies, he would’ve had intercourse 52,376 times.
  • According to the Penguin Atlas of Human Sexual Behavior the country boasting the longest lasting sexual intercourse is Brazil at 30 min. The USA, Canada, and Brits follow with 28, 23, and 21 min. respectively. The quickest sex in the world takes place in Thailand in 10 min. and Russia in 12 min.
  • The data shows that almost 88% of men’s penises measure between 5 and 7 inches when erect. When relaxed 90% of men are 3 to 5 inches.
  • Kinsey also reports that the average vagina is 3 inches long with a diameter of .8 inches when aroused, and 3.75 to 4.1 inches long with a diameter of 2.3 to 2.5 inches when stimulated (so it’s wide enough for birth).
  • Women in Kinsey studies said that on average they took just under 4 min. to achieve orgasm, flying solo. Practicing with a partner, however, it took between 10 and 20 min.

And here is one of my favorite factoids concerning men. There is a popular assumption that man think constantly about sex. Globally, life expectancy at birth, for a man, is 65 years. If we assume men start thinking about sex with the advent of puberty, which we’ll assume to be at age 13, that means men will think about sex every 6 seconds for 52 years or 273.5 million times.

NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL AN OBSESSION

07/28/2022 “Looney Limericks”   Leave a comment

It’s not often I get surprised especially by anonymous gifts from readers. My surprise occurred a few days ago when I received a fifty-page paperback booklet printed in 1999. It contains a collection of what are titled “Looney Limericks”. I haven’t the faintest idea who sent it but please consider this a big thank you, whoever you are. Here are a few samples of some clean and funny limericks apparently written for children.

There was a young man of Bengal

Who went to a masquerade ball.

He dressed, just for fun,

As a hamburger bun,

And a dog ate him up in the hall.

😊😊😊

A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd.

She was frightened and screamed very loud.

Then a happy thought hit her

To scare off the critter,

She sat up in bed and meowed.

😊😊😊

There was an old man of Blackheath,

Who sat on his set of false teeth.

Said he, with a start!

“O Lord, bless my heart!

I’ve bitten myself underneath!”

😊😊😊

There once was a hungry old leopard

Who brought home a skinny young shepherd.

Said the leopard, “I feel

That you’ll make a good meal

Once you’re properly salted and peppered.

😊😊😊

HANG IN THERE, IT’S ALMOST FRIDAY

07/27/2022 “Grave Moments”   Leave a comment

In my younger days I spent a great deal of time in the oldest graveyards in southern Massachusetts. I did gravestone rubbings, sketches, and even a number of oil paintings. I even stretched t-shirts over gravestones, did rubbings, and sold them through a local gift shop. I had many requests from families for shirts with their family name or their favorite epithets. It seems everyone is either fascinated by graveyards or afraid of them. I’ve always loved them because of the absolute quietness. I spent many an hour curled up with a good book, under a tree, in my favorite graveyard.

Here are a few unusual and catchy tombstone epithets for your entertainment.

  • M.S. Donald Robertson, died 4 June 1848, age 63. “He was a peaceable man, and, to all appearance a sincere Christian. His death was much regretted – which was caused by the stupidity of Lawrence Tulloch of Clotherton who sold him nitre instead of Epsom salts by which he was killed in the space of three hours after taking a dose of it.” Cross Kirk, Shetland, England
  • “Sacred for the memory of Anthony Drake, who died for peace and quietness sake. His wife was constantly scolding and scoffin’, so he sought for repose in a twelve-dollar coffin.” Burlington, Massachusetts
  • “Sacred to the memory of Elisha Philbrook and his wife Sarah, beneath these stones do lie. Back-to-back, my wife and I. When the last trumpet the air shall fill, if she gets up, I’ll just lie still.” Sargentville, Maine
  • “Beneath this stone, a lump of clay lies Arabella Young, who on the 21st of May began to hold her tongue.” Hatfield, Massachusetts
  • Sacred to the memory of Jared Bates who died August the 6th, 1800. His widow, aged 24, lives at 7 Elm Street, has every qualification for a good wife, and yearns to be comforted.” Lincoln, Maine
  • “Fear God, keep the commandments, and don’t attempt to climb a tree, for that’s what caused the death of me.” Eastwell, Kent, England
  • “Here lies I, Jonathan Fry. killed by a skyrocket in my eye socket.” Frodsham, Cheshire, England

IT SEEMS A SENSE OF HUMOR LAST FOREVER

R.I.P.

07/26/2022 “Pearls of Wisdom”   2 comments

Who doesn’t love trivia? Even a person who reads trivia and claims not to enjoy it actually does learn something. The more facts you learn, regardless of content, adds information to your memory banks. “More” is always better than “Less”. Here’s a little more for you . . .

  • In 200 BC, the Carthaginian ruler, Hannibal, defeated an enemy’s navy by stuffing poisonous snakes into earthen jugs and catapulting them onto the decks of his opponents’ ships.
  • National Bathroom Reading Week is the second week in June.
  • An unusual baseball injury occurred when former Braves first baseman, Ryan Klesko, pulled a muscle by lifting his lunch tray.
  • The gluteus maximus, the muscle that makes up the buttocks, is the biggest muscle in the human body.
  • The square most commonly landed on in the game of Monopoly is Illinois Avenue. (The Go space ranks second.)
  • The original title of the Buddy Holly hits on “Peggy Sue” was “Cindy Lou”.
  • The very first stolen car was reported in St. Louis Missouri, in 1905.
  • The colors of the Campbell Soup label – carnelian red and white – were chosen from the colors of the Cornell University football team.
  • Nike shoes got their distinct waffle sole design in 1971, after track coach Bill Bowerman’s wife served him breakfast. Inspired by the design, he put rubber in his wife’s waffle maker and created what would become Nike’s custom sole.
  • The Library of Congress in Washington DC, is the largest library in the world, containing 28 million books and 532 miles of shelving.

Now be truthful. Don’t you feel just a little bit smarter? Add this quote to your files as well:

“Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes.” Oscar Wilde

07/25/2022 Limerick “How To” III   5 comments

David McCord

Here are the final limericks in Mr. McCord’s limerick construction primer. I thoroughly enjoy reading the work created by such an intelligent man who enjoys his love of poems and limericks as I do. His non-limerick poetry is also outstanding as you will see.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

It’s been a bad year for the moles

Who live just in stockings with holes;

And bad for the mice

Who prefer their boiled rice

Seved in shoes that don’t have any soles.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

There once was a man in the Moon,

But he got there a little too soon.

Some others came later

And fell down a crater,

When was it? Next August? Last June?

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

I don’t much exactly quite care

For those cats with short ears and long hair.

But if anything’s worse

It’s the very reverse:

Just you ask any mouse anywhere.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

So, by chance it may be you’ve not heard

Of a small sort of queer silent bird.

Not a song, trill, or note

Ever comes from his throat.

If it does, I take back every word.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

And last but not least.

Write a limerick now. Say there was

An old man of some place, what he does,

Or perhaps what he doesn’t,

Or isn’t or wasn’t.

Want help with it? Give me a buzz.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

I heard my first limerick when I was about 7 years old when I was eavesdropping on my father and one of his friends. I heard my dad recite this little gem. My love of limericks was born!

There once was a lady from Wheeling

She had one helluva feeling.

She laid on her back

And opened he c***k

And p****d all over the ceiling.

HAVE A GREAT WEEK

07/24/2022 Limerick “How To” II   Leave a comment

As promised, here is the second installment of David McCord’s limerick writing primer. He not only shows how to write a limerick but gives excellent examples of the various types you can create.

Consider this odd little snail

Who lives on the rim of a pail:

Often wet, never drowned,

He is always around

Safe and sound, sticking right to his trail.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

A man who was fond of his skunk

Thought he smelled pure and pungent as punk.

But his friends cried No, no,

No, no, no, no, no, no!

He just stinks, or he stank, or he stunk.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

Here’s one of his poems as well. Enjoy!

There was an old man who cried Boo!

Not to me or to he but to you.

He also said scat

To a dog not a cat,

And to Timbuc he added too-too.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

“This season our turnips was red

And them beets was all white. And instead

Of green cabbages, what

You suspect that we got?”

“I don’t know,” “Didn’t plant none,” he said.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

THE FINAL INSTALLMENT TOMORROW

07/23/2022 A LIMERICK “How To”   Leave a comment

I’m going to introduce you today to a man who was famous for writing limericks, Mr. David McCord. He was also a philanthropist, writer, and poet who held honorary degrees from 22 universities. He was famous for his work in teaching children to write poetry. This first limerick is a short instruction on who to structure a limerick.

David McCord

The limerick’s lively to write:

Five lines to it – all nice and tight.

Two long ones, two trick

Little short ones, then quick

As a flash here’s the last one in sight.

There are 13 limericks published over fifty years ago and were Mr. McCord’s attempt to explain and teach how to write a limerick. Here are the first four. I’ll post a few each day until the entire collection is in your hands. Maybe they will encourage you to write a few of your own.

There once was a scarecrow named Joel

Who couldn’t scare crows, save his soul.

But the crows put the scare

Into Joel. He’s not there

Anymore. That’s his hat on the pole.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

“There was an old man” of wherever

You like, thus the limerick never

Accounts for the young:

You will find him unsung

Whether stupid, wise, foolish, or clever.

A Rare Non-Dirty Nantucket Limerick

There was a young man let me say,

Of West Pumpkinville, Maine, USA.

You tell me there’s not

Such a place? Thanks a lot.

I forget what he did anyway.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

Take the curious case of Tom Pettigrew

And Hetty, his sister. When Hettigrew

As tall as a tree

She came just to Tom’s knee.

And did Tom keep on growing? You bettigrew.

That’s lesson number one for today. If you read them carefully, he gives excellent rhyming tips and how exactly to structure the limerick. More to follow tomorrow.

07/22/2022 “Quotes of the Week”   1 comment

Alfred North Whitehouse 1861-1947

“Great art is more than a transient refreshment. It is something which adds to the permanent richness of the soul’s self-attainment. It justifies itself both by its immediate enjoyment, and also by its discipline of the inmost being. Its discipline is not distinct from enjoyment but by reason of it. It transforms the soul into the permanent realization of values extending beyond its former self.”

Facing mandatory retirement in London, and upon being offered an appointmentΒ at Harvard, Whitehead moved to the United States in 1924. GivenΒ his prior training in mathematics, it was sometimes joked that the first philosophy lectures he ever attended were those he himself delivered in his new role as Professor of Philosophy.

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