Archive for the ‘Kill Me, I’m Begging You’ Category

07/30/2021 Sci-Fi Forever – NOT!   Leave a comment

I’m holding an intervention for myself today concerning my lifelong addiction to all things science fiction. I’m not proud of that obsession because I’m not entirely sure that it hasn’t been a monumental waste of my time.

I was born in 1946 and was eleven years old when Sputnik made it’s famous flight on 10/04/57. My entire young life consisted of satellites, cosmonauts, astronauts, rocket ships, space travel, and the creation of NASA. Up to and including the Mercury and Apollo programs and eventually the moon landings. I was enthralled and spent a great deal of my spare time reading everything I could lay my hands on about science fiction and space travel. Over the years I’ve read hundreds of novels and scientific journals and attempted to stay up to speed with NASA, its failures, deaths, and many successes. Many years later I was finally forced to admit that sci-fi for me breaks down into two parts. Technology on one hand and space exploration on the other to include all of the craziness and misinformation on UFO’s and alien visitations. Technology continues apace and many things I read or thought about as a kid are slowing becoming commonplace. But continuing technological improvements are man-made wonders and unrelated to the science fiction that I’m interested in.

The UFO phenomenon is a sticky subject that’s been bastardized by numerous authors and movie makers. I suspect the vast majority of information contained in them is nothing more than exaggerated fiction aimed at increasing ratings and/or ticket sales. I gave up on live TV years ago and became somewhat taken with Netflix and other streaming services. That’s when I became overwhelmed with an ungodly number of videos and movies concerning UFO’s. I made a point to watch everyone I could find hoping that there might be a shred of evidence that could convince me that UFO’s were real and visitations to this planet were occurring. Sadly I found nothing at all that convinced me of anything.

It seems that a group of well funded and fervent believers reappear in most of the videos repeating their theories and suppositions. Believe me, I would love it if aliens decided to visit. But to believe the outlandish nonsense in these videos does more to convince me that it’s all so much BS and hucksterism. Most of the contributors on Facebook and other social media lead their posts with outlandish headlines to sucker us into reading further. It’s just more nonsense and half truths.

I have some serious questions about all of this UFO nonsense but the answers I’m getting are mostly silly and ridiculous. It seems highly unlikely to me that any aliens from an advanced civilization should certainly be able to fly their ships around this planet without crashing them in virtually every country. Most countries seem to have a Roswell type incident of their own and a crash sight to keep their conspiracy theorists busy. With that many crashes there’s no way any one government could retrieve and hide every single scrap of evidence. Most governments can’t operate anything without screwing it up. Why would this circumstance be any different. Why would we want their technology anyway if they can’t even keep them in the air. More silliness and nonsense.

I’ll be convinced aliens are here when I see a scene as seen in the 1950’s movie, The Day the Earth Stood Still. A giant alien ship landing on the White House lawn looking to chat with the President. Hopefully not Biden. Until then I am a disappointed unbeliever.

07/12/2021 Summer Doldrums   Leave a comment

I haven’t been blogging for a while, just laying back and enjoying my summer. I’ve been avoiding the news and current events as much as possible because so much these days is fake or just plain BS. I see things slowly returning to normal but I remain wary. Many people think the pandemic is over but I’m not a believer just yet. I honestly have difficulty believing anyone these days. I’ve decided that I’ll continue to mask up in crowds and in buildings until more time has passed. Booster shots of the vaccine will probably be in our immediate future and I’ll wait it out with my mask firmly in place.

“HOPE FOR THE BEST AND PREPARE FOR THE WORST”

I can’t resist taking a shot at the anti-vaxers. My suggestion to them is that they be as careful as possible when spreading their propaganda. They could easily end up with a seriously sprained neck. It’s hard to make a believable point with your head shoved so far up your ass. And please don’t waste your time or mine sending me any of your bullshit emails because as I’ve stated many times in the past, I.D.C. ( I Don’t Care) about anything you have to say.

Now I’ll return to my new deck and have a serious alcoholic beverage to celebrate the day.

05/19/2021 Facebook’s Stupid #*!# Signs   Leave a comment

I’m a huge internet rat and have been for years. I’ve seen ten thousand things I like and unfortunately a hundred thousand things I hate. Facebook has been going downhill in recent years in my humble opinion. I understand their need to continually come up with things to maintain and increase their numbers but come on . . . .

This recent rash of postings with people standing around with an arm load of signs attempting to take up as much of my time as possible to deliver a message to some blindfolded idiot. The individuals standing there being blindfolded and videoed are just sooooooooooo surprised and amazed. FAKE…FAKE…FAKE

Add to that the BS drama of outing a cheating partner or spouse with dozens of stupid flash cards makes me want to scream. It’s obvious to me that the ridiculous sign gimmick is just being used to increase their face time on-line. While some of them are somewhat believable the great majority are just LAME. Add into that all of the cheesy marriage proposals and I immediately feel the need to hurl.

Just as a side note: I’m a proud veteran who served for years. I don’t mind seeing the return-home videos but it has become ridiculous. People are posting happy returns from someone who served for 6 months in a training situation. As with everything on Facebook, these fads run their course after a time and become silly.

2d Side Note: Someone should make a universal announcement to the planet that the old and very stupid gimmick of wrapping a present in an endless number of packages became overused in the 1970’s. It’s just like bell bottom pants and platform shoes. SO OVER !!!!!

I expect nothing of importance from Facebook anyway so it’s hard to disappoint me. This crap will continue to clog the internet and drive any normal person mad.

06-01-2018 Things That Really Bore Me!   Leave a comment

In the past I’ve created lists of things I love and things I hate.  After roaming around for the last few months and people watching it occurred to me that another category needed to be documented.  Here is my list of things that have morphed from ‘Things That Annoy Me’ to ‘Things That Bore Me’.

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Drug companies and their endless advertisements to cure damn near everything. In most cases you’d need a small mortgage to pay for them but at least the side effects are free.

Organic labeling normally just pisses me off but I’ve come to realize if people are stupid enough to buy the “organic” song and dance then there’s nothing I can do. To quote one of my favorite comics, Ron White . . .  You can’t fix stupid!

Anyone named Obama or Bush. No further explanation is needed or wanted.

AARP Mailings. I refuse to belong to any organization of liberal leaning seniors that enjoys sucking up to the Dems for more government handouts. You’d think that their current government subsidies would be enough.

Any bumper sticker that insists on telling me things I could care less about. I don’t really care what your children are doing or where they’re doing it. It’s just more eye litter.

SPAM in all it’s forms.

Verizon Wireless and their need to call me ten times a week because I’m now eligible for an upgrade on my cell phone. I’ve already blocked 26 of their numbers but they continue to annoy me from every state in the country.

Hilary Clinton and her endless health problems, her endless mental problems, and of course her endless marital problem, WILD BILL.

Maxine Waters. It’s time for a rubber room and a straight jacket for this wingnut.

The Maine Stream Media in all of it’s manifestations.

George “I Want to be King of the World.” Soros.

Trump Bashing.

Trump Bashers.

Hollywood idiots voicing their opinions about what they think on every topic except their acting, singing, or dancing.

Tipping waiters and waitresses when I’m now doing most of their work. Table computers are fine if I can cut my normal tip in half. All the waitresses do these days is deliver the meal and smile pretty. I think that’s worth no more than a 3 percent tip.

Facebook and Twitter. They should really be on the list of things that annoy me but they bore me as well.

The egocentric morons who frequent most retail stores and are always in line at the register directly in front of me.  Where’s my stun gun when I need it.

Bait and Switch is one of the oldest and most misleading types of advertisement. It seems to have become much more commonplace that ever before.

Men talking to me while we’re standing at a urinal. I guess they don’t fully understand how focused I need to be while peeing. Talking is OK I guess but no peeking please.

Cell phone ringtones. Enough already . . . I don’t give a shit that you got email. Put it on vibrate moron.

Facial tattoos. It’s an instant judgement call when I see a person with them. Idiot, dumb ass, or moron, take your pick.

The new and improved Leggings fad. I admit that in many cases they just make my day but whatever you do don’t go into Walmart. You could be struck blind if you’re lucky.

Baseball caps worn backward. Any idiot that still thinks this is cool should get a free facial tattoo.

Homeless beggars. I hesitate giving money or cans to someone who is supposedly poor and unemployed while he’s wearing a better pair of Nike shoes than I have.

President Trumps continual tweeting. Just ridiculous.

Katy Perry. Sing a song, leave the stage, marry an asshole, cut off your hair, and then tell me what a political moron I must be for not supporting Hilary. God women . . . Get a frigging life.

Sex with lifelike robots. Only two terms comes to mind immediately, “Organ Grinder” and “Ex Wife”. Way too scary for me. Thanks but no thanks. Yikes!!!

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03-30-2018 My Wildlife Welfare System   Leave a comment

Being a lifelong animal lover has it’s ups and downs and living here in Maine makes things even more interesting.  With the harsh winters and constant snow cover the wildlife here has become quite  deligent in their hunt for food. I’ve been a loyal bird feeder for most of my life because I really enjoy having the birds around.  My better-half is also a bird lover and we currently have six feeders we keep filled.  I estimate the birds are eating close to 125 lbs. of feed a year  not counting the many packages of suet we purchase to keep the woodpeckers healthy and happy. Add to that two or three quarts of sugar syrup for the hummingbirds and you begin to truly understand.

It became apparent some months ago that the birds living in this area have a rather accomplished communication system to spread the news concerning food sources and the location of predators. This came to my attention when a herd of wild turkeys showed up out of nowhere and began feeding from the food accidently dropped from our hanging feeders.  Needless to say my better-half was quick to buy more corn and began strewing it everywhere. That’s all they needed to make our home the number one spot on their regular feeding rotation. With the heavy snow cover this winter they needed to do something inventive to help them survive the winter.  Thus began the feeding of a another new group of dependents that I couldn’t claim on my taxes. As always I just went along thinking that would be the last of the additions to our extended family of two hundred or so really hungry birds.  I was sadly mistaken once again.

Last year I erected a squirrel feeder on a nearby tree hoping it might convince the little buggers to stay away from the bird feeders. Once again, no good deed goes unpunished. We found out very quickly that turkeys and the occasional deer are also fond of corn.  So began the battle for the corn that lasted most of the summer and into the winter. My better-half still insists on bringing home an endless supply of corn to keep the battle going.  I left one of the bags sitting in the basement and hoped she would forget about it.  She forgot for a time but the field mice did not.  They like corn too and we soon found ourselves overrun with mice. Since the untimely demise of my lifelong best friend, my cat Stormy it’s been difficult to keep them under control.  He died a year ago and the mice discovered his absence rather quickly.  A new war was a brew’n.

A quick visit to Lowes supplied me with an armload of mouse traps and a determination to keep the mice out of our home.  I did discover that putting cheese in a mousetrap is a waste of time.  At first the mice were able to pull the cheese from the trap without harming themselves.  After some research I discovered that JIFF creamy peanut butter really gets the job done.  I’ve peeled 13 little corpses off those traps so far and I hope there will be many more to come. I toss their little corpses out onto the snow bank in the backyard where the crows and coyotes fight over the free meal.  At least with the mice I only have to feed them once.

I wish that was the end of this sad story but no such luck.  Next on my list is a large group of industrious little chipmunks who have quite a nice residence under our home.  My father always told me if you see one chipmunk you probable have at least ten. If that’s true then we may have upwards of a hundred roaming around. Oh yeah, they also love corn and bird seed just like damn near everyone else. It’s a little more difficult for them because they’re so small and the birds are constantly chasing them away.

I’ll begin working in our garden within the next few weeks and “Job 1” is to be certain that the fences are intact.  All these little varmints, birds, deer, and skunks are just waiting for me to make a mistake and then my garden will be trashed.  Don’t even get me started about that big fat skunk that patrols our property looking for trouble.  If he was any bigger I could just ride him around  like a horse.

So begins another summer here in Maine.  It should be interesting.

03-26-2018 My New 21st Century Addiction   2 comments

I haven’ t posted anything since the start of the year and I’m feeling a little guilty.  Having a blog is like having an ungratful child.  It’s a lot of work for which I receive virtually no gratitude.  I especially miss the less than friendly emails received from my more liberal readers.  My life has been empty without their caustic comments and endless political preaching.  I’ve relegated them to a dustly shelf in my mancave where everything that bores me is stored.

Enough of that . . .  On to other matters concerning my newest and least satisfying addiction.  I’ve known for sometime that I have an addictive personality.  As a very young man I had a tremendous taste for beer.  It got me into some trouble in my teens and I had to finally let it go. No more of that nasty brew.  Then in my twenties I turned my attention to cigarettes and the occasion toke of giggle weed.  Both of which hung on until my thirites when I saw the light and quit smoking everything.  No more happiness weed and no more cigarettes.  I got healthy, hit the gym, and finally (according to my mother) turned myself into a beautiful and productive person.

As the years rolled along I ended my addiction to marriage and lived a rather raucous and crazy few years filled with wine women and song.  Yes I’d finally discovered a taste for wine and women but no matter what I did I couldn’t carry a tune. As is usual the combination of wine and women got me into considerable trouble as well. I finally met, fell in love, and settled down with the love-of-my-life, stopped drinking wine and turned instead to brandy.

The next to go was the damn brandy. While I enjoyed the brandy drinking experience it was rather boring and I had to stop. I hate spending that kind of money on alcohol that tastes great but I get no glow.  No glow means you got to go and it did.  So currently I’ve reduced my addictions to just three.  My woman is here to stay, thats #1, and thank god for a continuous supply of Jack Daniels (thats #2).  I’ve limited myself to just two or three Jack & Pepsi’s a week (and maybe a few more if we have visitors). Things seem to be working out perfectly almost . . .

My last remaining addiction is without a doubt the worst.  I’ve rid myself of a major television addiction 2 years ago when I could no longer stand watching 10 minutes of commercials every half hour. I told Dish Network to cancel my account and signed up immediately with Netflix and Amazon for streaming service.  Unfortuneately streaming is a double-edged sword.  Being generous I estimate that both streaming services are 80% crap and only 20% of their movies are worth watching unless you want to pay a fee.  My newest and worst addiction is to this endless supply of  terrible, crappy, and ridiculous movies.

                                             SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME

I’m in dire need of some sort of 12 step program to get me away from this TV.  My greatest fear these days is that my better-half will find me alone in the dark, slumped over in my favorite chair, clutching the remote.  Dead from dehydration, boredom, and felony eye-slaughter.

 

08-28-2017 The New Left !   2 comments

As the Fall of the year approaches the extreme left continues it belly-aching and whining toward the new administration.  Honestly I never thought they’d stop anyway. They’re  much like a small child throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of a mall.  They’ll keep at it until they turn blue and collapse or until someone gives them a whack on the ass and tells them to shut the hell up.  It could be a very long wait for that to happen.

As of late it’s become obvious to anyone who cares to pay attention that the Republicans have been infected by the Leftist Flu.  They are currently classified in my mind as Dems-Lite.  Finally the party has the upper hand in this government and they are pissing it away like they always do.  They seem to enjoy being the weaker party so they can just sit back and spend all of their time  sniping  at every little thing the liberals do. That doesn’t require any hard work or dedication.  It’s also obvious that the caliber  of Republican members and leadership  isn’t what it once was.  That capable well led party no longer exists and we may never see it again.

Poor Donald Trump.  No one seems to like him anymore. He really doesn’t look all that upset about it either.  No one likes him except for the millions of voters who elected him.  He has become something that even that lunatic Ross Perot couldn’t become, a one man third party. Maybe it’s time for a viable third party to make an appearance.  Not some Tea Party organization that growled and barked for a couple of years and then disappeared.  Those Tea Party folks who used the conservative message to get elected have now become part of the system we all despise.

I would love to see Donald Trump run for reelection with the backing of an real organization of real people who actually believe in the things they promise the electorate.  Not individuals who will say anything to get elected and then walk away smiling to themselves.  People who are actually concerned about this country being turned into another Europe. Just read the daily news.  Europe is falling apart due mostly to their liberal outlook on damn near everything.  In ten more years the Islamists will own Europe and the fun will really start. We’ll see how much the European populations like Sharia laws and  all of the rules and restrictions that apply to women.  I can’t wait to see Angela Merkel in a burka.

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This pair should keep you up nights.

BERNIE

I can only hope for a Democratic ticket that is so ridiculous that he’ll win in a landslide.  How about a ticket of Maxine Waters and Bernie Sanders.  Who wouldn’t vote for a lunatic and a socialist?  They seem to be the new Democratic brain trust that’s on the rise.  I was never a big believer in prayer but for that ticket I might start.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK MR. PRESIDENT

08-06-2017 Syndromes!   Leave a comment

Image result for syndrome text images

I think I’ve become a victim of RAS Syndrome. As you well know there seem to be hundreds of magical syndromes that are announced on a regular basis to help excuse what some might call “shitty behavior”. While there are many real syndromes out there some alleged experts create as many questionable or fictitious  syndromes as the imagination will allow. It’s those acronyms and syndromes  that are driving me mad. Searching the Net I’ve found hundreds and hundreds of these acronyms for just about anything you can think of.  Here’s one of mine:

RAS Syndrome (short for “redundant acronym syndrome syndrome”) refers to the use of one or more of the words that make up an acronym in conjunction with the abbreviated form, thus in effect repeating one or more words.

How about a few examples?

If you fart in church then you must be suffering from the infamous NFIPP Syndrome. That’s “Nasty Farts In Public Places”. It’s really not your fault that you farted, it’s the fault of the Church for pressuring you into attending services after one of their famous bean dinners.

Another of my favorites is the BBABO. That’s the “Bad Breath And Body Odor Syndrome”.  No matter where I go or where I sit a person suffering with this disorder manages to be right next to me.  That in turn gives me a case of VIMT. That’s “Vomit In My Throat Syndrome”‘, for those of you who are unaware that you may suffer from that same disorder.

I’ve also  noticed another major syndrome as I walked through our local Wal-Mart recently. It’s one of the most common ones I see these days. It’s confusing, disgusting, and at times revolting and it’s called the YODOAFM Syndrome. “You Obviously Don’t Own A F–King Mirror Syndrome”.  Many Wal-Mart customers have been infected over the years and now it’s threatening to become a pandemic.

I’ve suffered from a another syndrome since early childhood.  At times it’s been a good thing but occasionally it’s anything but. It’s the IDGASWYT Syndrome. That’s the “I Don’t Give A Shit What You Think Syndrome”. It’s something genetic I inherited from my father, his father, and his father.

The one that has shown up recently to cause all of us problems is the IHTBIAWC Syndrome. That’s “I Hate Trump Because I’m A Whinny Crybaby Syndrome” It’s been running rampant through the country since Election Day but only seems to be infecting Liberals, Democrats, and a few million illegal aliens.

I have another one for all of  them.  It’s the KMIA Syndrome (Kiss My Independent Ass).

 

 

 

 

 

09-16-2016 Journal – Look Out! X-mas is Coming.   Leave a comment

   thmx1ssrmt

Another week coming to an end and we’re already halfway through the month of September. The summer of 2016 went by in the wink of an eye and the holidays are again rushing towards us. I wonder to myself which retailer will strike the Christmas colors first. I suspect that as in years past Walmart will be the one to get things rolling 15 minutes after the Halloween holiday is over. That in itself is supremely depressing but it seems to get earlier and earlier every year regardless of how much we complain.

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Yesterday I received this list of companies that have already made it known that Black Friday will begin for them by being open for business on Thanksgiving Day. I guess that’s the new approach to companies who put their employees families second on their list of priorities. That seems to be the ongoing retail way of thinking these days and unfortunately I can bitch about it all I want but no one in the retail establishment gives a damn what I think or what you think. Look at the upside . . . you’ll have a great place to spend your holiday if you get sick of eating Thanksgiving dinner, spending time with your family, or God forbid actually relaxing and enjoying the day. The almighty buck rules all. Make sure to thank these folks:

J.C. Penny

Kohl’s

Toy’s r Us

Target

Walmart

Sears

Macy’s

Belk

Sports Authority

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Dollar General

Best Buy

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While I write this posting I have a Christmas wish that will never be fulfilled. I wish that the population of the millions of so-called consumers in this country would pull their collective heads out of the sand and stop allowing retailers to continue to think that the “great unwashed” are that easily controlled. It’s a lazy population that lets celebrities, the media, politicians, and big business tell them how to think, act, what to buy, and how to be politically correct at all times.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO US ALL

You usually get what you deserve.

08-16-2016 Journal – Death Trivia!   Leave a comment

We do a lot of trivia on this site which usually consists of total useless information about totally useless things and people.  Today will be a miscellaneous mish-mash of things I’ve discovered recently.  First is something called the Manner of Death statistics.  It’s a list created by some group somewhere telling us all how we are dying in descending order of frequency. Enjoy!

Heart disease: 614,348
• Cancer: 591,699
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 147,101
Accidents (unintentional injuries): 136,053
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 133,103
Alzheimer’s disease: 93,541
Diabetes: 76,488
Influenza and pneumonia: 55,227
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 48,146
Intentional self-harm (suicide): 42,773

That’s enough to send a cold chill up anyone’s back. The perfect way to start your day.  Next is a list of injury types, hospital data, and a whole lot more.

  • Number of medically attended injury and poisoning episodes in the population: 39.5 million
  • Episodes per 1,000 population: 126.3
  • Number of visits (to physician offices, hospital outpatient and emergency departments) for injuries: 80.1 million (includes visits for adverse effects of drug, medicinal or biological substance)
  • Number of emergency department visits for injuries: 43.0 million (includes visits for adverse effects of medical treatment)
  • Number of discharges for fractures (all sites): 1.1 million
  • Number of discharges for poisonings: 260,000
  • Number of discharges for certain complications of surgical and medical care: 1.0 million

Mortality

Total number of deaths: 192,945

Deaths per 100,000 population: 60.2

Poisoning

Number of poisoning deaths: 48,545

Deaths per 100,000 population: 15.4

Traffic Deaths

Number of deaths: 33,804

Deaths per 100,000 population: 10.7

Firearm Deaths

Number of deaths: 33,636

Deaths per 100,000 population: 10.6

Are you feeling more secure now?  Do you even want to leave the house?  It appears that life in these United States is a real crap shoot.  Roll the dice and hope for the best every time you leave the house.

I admit I’ve depressed myself with this posting so I’ll keep this last item short. On this day in history many people have passed on. Here are two that died on this day that I thought might interest you.

babe-ruth

1948 Babe Ruth, Baseball legend (NY Yankees), dies in NY at 53

elvis-presley

1977 Elvis Presley, American musician, dies at Graceland at 42. Official cause of death is cardiac arrhythmia

I THINK I’LL GO BACK TO BED