As you are aware I hunt like an obsessed bloodhound for topics that are a 7-9 on the weirdness scale. Fortunately for me all that weirdness has for some reason had little or no effect on me (I hope you are someone who doesn’t miss a satirical comment when you read it). Todays post will contain six blurbs about well-known people who were truly weirder than anyone ever imagined.
WALT WHITMAN
When American poet Walt Whitman died in 1892, his brain was put in a jar and donated to the University of Pennsylvania. The University doesn’t have it anymore because a clumsy lab technician dropped the jar on the floor and damaged the brain. The University quietly discarded it, and Whitman’s “Specimens Days” were over.
MARGARET WISE BROWN
American children’s author Margaret Wise Brown (1910 to 1952), who wrote many tender kitty-and-bunny tales, including Good Night Moonand The Bunnies Birthday, loved to hunt rabbits and she collected their severed feet as trophies.
VOLTAIRE
Voltaire always fainted whenever he smelled roses. He also drank seventy cups of coffee every day. Are the facts related, who knows?
EMILY DICKINSON
Poet Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) will’s final requests were that she would be buried in a white casket, that heliotropes be placed inside along with a posy of blue violets to be placed at her throat. All of her wishes were granted.
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Agatha Christie nearly pulled off a real-life hoax worthy of her mystery novels. Upset that her husband was leaving her for another woman, she set up an incriminating crime scene that almost got him arrested for “her murder”. Luckily for him, an employee at a distant seaside hotel saw news photos of Christie and recognized her as the woman who had slipped into their hotel under an assumed name. Although Christie claimed amnesia, the police were not amused after having wasted a week of searching rivers and bogs for her body.
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And last but not least goes to someone who finally discovered his true worth.
TUPAC SHAKUR
Requested that his ashes be mixed with marijuana and smoked by his friends in the band Outlawz.
Are you a “foodie”? Everyone I ask gives me the same answer. YES! Being a “foodie” means much more than just eating three squares meals a day. It refers to someone who is obsessed with food, it’s preparation, it’s presentation, and of course the flavor. I think I just inadvertently booted myself from the “foodie” ranks because I’m no longer concerned with all of that. Years ago when I was into cooking, canning, and wine-making, I was most certainly a “foodie”. Now that I’m fully into being retired the term doesn’t apply to me any longer. Todays post will be a short quiz for those of you who still identify yourselves as “foodies”. As always the answers will be listed below.
Italy leads the world in pasta consumption with 61.7 pounds each per person per year. What country is second?
Black-eyed peas are not peas. What are they?
Where was the first automated fortune cookie machine manufactured?
What does VVSOP mean on a cognac bottle?
What color did blue replace in 1995 when it was introduced to the standard package of M&M’s candies?
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On average, how many calories a day are American astronauts given to eat while on missions to outer space?
What do herring, cabbage and carrots represent at New Years Eve feasts in Germany and Scandinavia?
How much caffeine must be removed from coffee for it to be called decaffeinated?
What popular soft drink contained the drug lithium, now available only by prescription, when it was introduced in 1929?
What did the Wrigley Company do to promote its chewing gum nationwide in 1914?
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BONUS
What is the cordial kumiss made from?
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Answers
Venezuela at 27.9, Beans, Japan, Very Very Superior Old Pale, Tan, 3000, Herring represents good luck; cabbage, plenty of silver; and carrots, gold in the year ahead, 97%, 7UP, It mailed a stick of Doublemint gum to every person listed in the U.S. phonebooks, BONUS: Fermented mare’s or cow’s milk.
There are times that I really miss the old style Playboy magazines. They helped answer many questions that all young boys had about females. Everyone jokes about reading the magazines just for the articles but that was always a huge bit of sarcasm. Was the content misogynistic, probably, but the young lads paging through those articles just wanted to see and read about those gorgeous women willing to share their most intimate secrets and secret areas to them while they furiously and quietly masturbated. I have to admit I participated myself on occasion. It all depended on whether I could find my fathers stash of Playboys he thought were so well hidden. He actually hid them from my mother because we were all afraid of her. Todays post will list five items from some of those beautiful Playmates on “Turn-Ons & Turn-Offs” from the 1970’s, 1980,s, and 1990’s. No names will be mentioned but I know it’s possible you’ll remember a few of the those forgotten beauties that aided in your teenage sex education.
I seem to be overflowing with accumulated trivia information these days and as I get it I’ll pass it along to you. Todays topics for review are all pop-culture related facts.
The famous quote “play it again Sam”, was never actually uttered in the movie Casablanca.
Though they look alike, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are fraternal twins, not identical.
John Lennon signed the paperwork formalizing the breakup of the Beatles while staying at a Disney World hotel.
Woody in Toy Story has a last name. It was revealed in 2009 as “Pride”.
In the movie Home Alone, the picture of Buzz’s girlfriend that Kevin finds is actually a boy in a wig.
During his performances of James Bond, Sean Connery always wore a wig.
The injuries on Luke Skywalkers face when he was attacked by the snow monster in The Empire Strikes Back were real.
Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t draw the sketch of Kate Winslet in Titanic . . . but director James Cameron did.
DC Comics boasts a superhero named Arms-Fall-Off-Boy.
2006’s Bond movie Casino Royale was the first Bond movie that could be watched in China.
BONUS FACT
(On everyone’s favorite character)
In the Star Wars Trilogy, George Lucas’s original full name for
We are all human beings and supposedly we’re the primary predator on this planet, so far. Five years from now with the number of AI’s being created that may not be the case. Todays post will contain some of the more interesting facts about being human. Let’s see where you fit in.
The longest reported case of hiccups lasted for sixty-eight years (Mr.Charles Osboure).
The longest time somebody has kept one eye open without blinking was eight minutes and twenty-six seconds.
Red heads do not usually go gray.
You shed approximately forty thousand skin cells a minute.
Some tumors in your body can grow hair and teeth (A teratoma tumor).
The word “fart” is one of the oldest words in the English language.
People who swallow a lot of air fart a lot more than people who don’t.
The smell of a woman’s tears makes men feel less sexual aroused and reduces levels of testosterone.
Standing up to poop is healthier than sitting (less hemorrhoids and colonic obstructions).
People with blue eyes can can drink more before showing signs of drunkenness.
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BONUS FACT
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Did you know that “defecaloesiophobia” is the fear of having difficult bowel movements.
I’m having a day of total confusion. The sun is shining brightly but the temperature remains in the forties. I desperately want to begin using the deck to relax and read a book but it’s hard when you’re wearing gloves and two layers of clothing. Now I’m back at the computer and deciding which limericks I’ll be using. There’s no theme to these limericks just five that tickled my fancy and I hope they do the same for you.
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There once was a son-of-bitch,
Neither clever, nor handsome, nor rich,
Yet the girls he would dazzle,
And screw to a frazzle,
And then ditch them, the son-of-bitch.
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There was a young girl from Berlin
Who was screwed by an elderly Finn,
Though he diddled his best,
And screwed her with zest,
She kept asking, “Hey, Pop, is it in?”
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There was a young man man from Dumfries
Who said to his girl, “If you please,
It would give me great bliss
If while playing with this,
You would pay some attention to these!”
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There was a young fellow named Goody
Who claimed that he wouldn’t, but would he?
If he found himself nude
With a gal in the mood,
The question’s not woody but could he?
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And here’s a favorite for those avid readers out there.
I’ve been sitting here trying to decide a couple of things. First, how should I celebrate my upcoming eightieth birthday. Second, what should I post on this blog tomorrow. So, I mixed the two things together resulting in a list of things accomplished by other more famous eighty-year-olds from the past. It probably won’t mean much to you until you reach the age of seventy-five when you begin to wonder what your future holds. Have fun with it (It really isn’t that much fun).
Moses, in disgust, breaks the tablets inscribed with the Ten Commandments, then goes back to get a second set. (That took some balls pissing off God)
Queen Victoria utters her famous critique, “We are not amused.” (I’m pretty sure we still aren’t)
Jessica Tandy wins her first Oscar, for Best Supporting Actress for The Sunshine Boys. (Glad I missed that one.)
George Burns also wins his first Oscar, for Best Supporting Actor in The Sunshine Boys. (He was way better playing God)
Pope Gregory XIII establishes the Gregorian calendar, thus correcting the errors of the Julian calendar by changing the rules regarding leap years. (I’m sure he spent long and rigorous late nights lying awake trying to figure that out. What a BS claim to fame at eighty)
Robert Penn Warren becomes Americas first official poet laureate. (I think some of his other works began as – Roses are red, something was blue – Ya-Da! Ya-Da! Ya-Da!)
Leopold Stokowski founds the American Symphony Orchestra. (Never heard of him or the orchestra until today)
After rereading this list I find myself even more depressed than before I started. Maybe eighty doesn’t have much to offer although I considered for a short time revisiting some excitement from my thirties when I made a a number of skydives. I started calling around and actually found a place here in Maine that was willing to accommodate me. I was preparing to schedule the event when my better-half discovered my plan. After she made it perfectly clear I wouldn’t be able to skydive if she broke both of my legs, I cancelled the plan. My eightieth will only be a loud and raucous evening at Uno’s with my better-half, a tray of sliders and if I get lucky there may be a visit from Jack Daniels and possibly ice cream. Screw all of those famous old farts.
As a youngster I was easily impressed by just about everything. Being that impressionable had it’s pitfalls and Mae West was one of my first. She won me over with her outrageous sense of humor, her “I don’t give a shit” attitude, and that buxom body. I loved watching her short but outrageous appearances on TV and her movies with W.C. Fields were next level hysterical. She was also a well known comedian, singer, screenwriter, and playwright. She remained bawdy and outrageous well into her late eighties as she strutted her stuff and was always accompanied by two large muscular young men. She passed away on November 27, 1980 and the world lost a unique and exciting woman. Todays post is a short collection of some of her most colorful quotes and a few photos. I still miss the old girl.
“It’s not the men in your life that counts, it’s the the life in your men.”
“It’s better to be looked over than overlooked.”
“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”
“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.”
“When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”
“Good sex is like good bridge,. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
“Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.”
“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”
For you millennials who may read this post I’m giving you fair warning. I’m a eighty year old man who wants to tell you a story that will be a little sappy and hopefully a little funny but everything will be true. And before you start reading and rolling your eyes at what I say remember that I was much like you (a millennial) in the wild and wacky 1960’s when almost everything was always out of control. At that time I perfected that eye roll you’re probably still using today. Being alive in the sixties was a “trip” to say the least. Free love, an over abundance of drugs, with Rock & Roll as our mantra. My best friend and I were in constant trouble from stealing booze and cigarettes from our parents to the occasional visits from state and local police. We thought we had all the answers but were kept from getting really crazy by my ever so vigilant parents. I had my first official date and fell in love immediately until we were sidetracked by both her parents and mine who squashed our love like a bug. Then I crashed my fathers new car resulting in more eye rolling and some serious ass kicking. I decided then that maybe college would be a good change to let me live my life my way. I mean, how right could my parents be, they were over forty years old and obviously had no clue about things. So, I headed off to college to start my next millennial adventure . . .
College wasn’t an adventure but it was very strange. I was just one knucklehead in a rather large group of other knuckleheads trying to adjust to a life of freedom without parents. My biggest problem was adjusting from my father’s strict rules for everything to having no rules at all. I drank way too much and chased young ladies way too much, and learned almost nothing. I cut classes, constantly overslept and was a miserable failure as a student. In my third year I dropped out without alerting my parents and spent the remainder of the money I’d saved entertaining roommates and other friends (mainly females). But the damn college just had to go and notify my parents that I was a no-show and OMG were they irate (another huge parental eye roll). I returned home as a failed millennial with no money, no job, and two parents who would never let me forget what an ass I’d become.
Lets skip ahead to my enlistment in the Army, my time as a state police officer in Pennsylvania , getting married, finishing my bachelors degree, to getting an upper level management job with a national corporation, and finally retiring from the State of Maine’s Judicial Branch. My point is that if I can survive my millennial years, so can you. Truthfully, if you think about it everyone has a millennial period at some time in their life. It’s also true that human beings seem compelled to give everyone and everything a nickname (usually derogatory). There’s the Boomers (that’s me), the Gen X’ers, Gen Y’ers, and hundreds of others. It’s all just so much bullshit. Just remember this important fact. In a few years many of you will marry and have children. What will their nicknames be when they hit their millennial years and begin to drive you absolutely crazy? Some thing you can look forward to. It’s called the “Circle of Life”. LOL
I spend a moderate amount of my time reading, listening, and even watching some sports on TV or online. For me baseball is the absolute best. I fell in love with it at age 8 and that love affair continues to this day. I was born and raised in the Pittsburgh area but when it comes to baseball I favor no particular teams. It’s the skill of exceptional players that keeps me coming back. I thought today a short quiz of baseball trivia might interest some of you. Here are ten questions with the answers listed below. Have fun with it.
How man times did the “Father of Baseball” Abner Doubleday, mention the sport in his 67 diaries?
What baseball team introduced the sacrifice bunt, the squeeze play, the hit-and-run play, and the double steal?
Why did baseball manager Hal Lanier order all TV sets removed from the Houston Astro clubhouse in 1986?
What was the greatest number of homeruns hit in a single season by Ty Cobb, the Georgia Peach?
What famous sports commentator announced his first major league baseball game without ever having seen a game before?
FRED LYNN
What was baseball great, Stan Musial’s, advice to players trying to hit the spit ball?
What baseball playing brothers came in first and second in the race for the National League batting title in 1966?
What other two brothers hit home runs in the same World Series game?
Who was the only rookie in baseball history to be honored as rookie of the year and most valuable player in the same season?
What is the maximum length and thickness permitted for a major league baseball bat?
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Answers
Not once, The Baltimore Orioles, Player missed some practice because of watching the Wheel of Fortune, 12, Red Barber in 1934 for The Cincinnati Reds, “Hit it on the dry side.”, Matty .342 & Felipe Alou .327, Ken & Clete Boyers, Fred Lynn 1975, Length 43″ & Thickness 2 1/4″.
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