Archive for the ‘Humor’ Tag

09/28/2022 โšพSports Trivia๐Ÿˆ   Leave a comment

While I’m not much of a sports fan these days, I did play a lot of sports over the years. I loved playing sports but watching them now is as much fun as watching paint dry. I’m still a lover of trivia too so it’s about time I matched them up. Here are a few sports trivia facts you may not have been aware of.

  • Wilt Chamberlain averaged 48.5 minutes per game in 1961โ€“62. That means he played every minute of every game and every minute of every overtime.
  • Pittsburgh is the only city where every one of its professional sports teams wears the same colors.
  • Major league baseball uses approximately 900,000 balls every season.
  • Prior to the 1930s in the NBA a jump ball used to follow every made basket.
  • One of the greatest pitchers in MLB history was known to run off the field during games to chase firetrucks. Rube Waddell was fascinated with firetrucks and managers had a difficult time keeping him on the mound if one drove by. It didn’t stop him from being one of the greatest strikeout pitchers in the history of the game.

  • Wilt Chamberlain once averaged over 50 points per game for an entire season.
  • Before Babe Ruth, MLB’s career home run record was just 138. When the babe retired, the new record was 714.
  • Jackie Mitchell, one of the first (and only) female player in the major league baseball system, once struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig in consecutive at-bats. The strikeouts occurred during a minor league exhibition game against the Yankees.
  • For 43 years, the NFL record for the longest made field goal was held by a man (Tom Dempsey) with no toes on his kicking foot.
  • Jackie Robinson was not the first black player in major league baseball. William Edward White, a former slave, served as a one-game replacement player in 1879. Moses Fleetwood Walker lasted slightly longer, playing nearly a full season in 1884, 63 years before Jackie Robinson made his historic debut.

PLAY BALL ! !

09/27/2022 “The Royals”   3 comments

Are you a follower of all things “Royal”? With the passing of Elizabeth, I thought it was only right and respectful to wait a period of time before I decided to jump into the vast emptiness that all of the Brits are probably suffering from. I’ve never understood the need for “Royals” but nevertheless here are a number of items of trivia you might find interesting about them.

  • Elizabeth was born on Wednesday or “hump day” if you prefer.
  • The Queen always wrote with a fountain pen that belonged to her father, King George VI.
  • Her husband Prince Philip once crashed his car within minutes of having delivered a speech on road safety in 1957.
  • Prince Charles first Shetland pony was named Fum.
  • Prince Andrew refused to wear shorts under his kilt as a child to be like Prince Philip. “Papa doesn’t wear anything and neither shall I!” he would cry.

  • Princess Diana was the first royal bride not to use the word obey in her marriage vows.
  • Prince Philip kept a collection of press cartoons of himself on the walls of his lavatory in Sandringham.
  • The Queen was an excellent mimic and sometimes entertained the family by aping the prime ministers she’d known in the last half-century.
  • Princess Margaret was afraid of the dark.
  • All royal babies are baptized with water brought from the river Jordan.

There you have it, some totally useless trivial facts about the royal family. I’ve always wondered if many of their activities were as normal as some of the things that we do. I won’t get into the details of what I sometimes think because it would be a little disrespectful and absolutely hilarious. A friend of mine after a recent discussion about the Royals put some strange thoughts into my head (off-color to be sure) which I won’t get into today. Here’s one last quote to help keep things in their proper “Royal” perspective.

The Queens description of Niagara Falls was “It looks very damp.”

R.I.P. LIZZIE

09/26/2022 ๐Ÿ’ฅSilly Limerick Alert๐Ÿ’ฅ   Leave a comment

Once again, it’s time for a few lighthearted limericks rather than the bawdier ones we’re used to. I’ll reference the author when possible.

By Frank Jacobs

A lion whose manners weren’t nice

Played Monopoly with two white mice.

After losing, he roared,

Then devoured the board,

Marvin Gardens, both mice and the dice.

๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹

By Oliver Herford

Once a grasshopper (food being scant)

Begged an ant some assistance to grant.

But the ant shook his head

“I can’t help you,” he said,

“It’s an uncle you need, not an ant.

๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž

By Anon

A barber who lived in Batavia

Was known for his fearless behavia.

When a giant brown bear

Took a seat in his chair,

Said the barber, “No way will I shavia.”

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

By Gelett Burgess

I’d rather have fingers than toes.

I’d rather have ears than a nose.

And as for my hair,

I’m glad it’s still there,

I’ll be awfully sad when it goes.

๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿฉ

HAPPY MONDAY

09/25/2022 “Miscellaneous Truths”   Leave a comment

The truth is sometimes strange and at other times ridiculous. These factoids are a little of both. They’re good for making a few bucks at bar bets on trivia night.

  • The term ” soap opera” comes from the fact that shows used to work advertisements for soap powder into the plot lines.
  • A champagne cork flying out of a bottle can travel as fast as 100 miles per hour.
  • People who fear the number 666 suffer from hexakaosioihexekontahexaphobia.
  • On November 21, 1980, 83 million Americans tuned in to watch the finale of the Dallas cliffhanger “Who Shot J.R.?” A few weeks earlier, 85.1 million Americans voted in the Reagan-Carter presidential election.
  • During a 60-year life span, an average tree will produce nearly 2 tons of leaves to be raked.

  • Dancing the tango was considered a sin in Paris during the early 1900s.
  • Those roped off areas where boxing matches take place actually used to be round, hence the term “boxing ring”.
  • Pope John XXI (1276-01277) had been in office less than a year before the ceiling on a new wing of his palace collapsed on him while he slept. He died six days later.
  • Nearly 4% of American women claim that they never wear underwear.
  • The Pentagon goes through more than 600 rolls of toilet paper every day.

TOO WEIRD TO BELIEVE? . . . WELL, BELIVE IT ANYWAY

Quote of the Day

“I have as much authority as the Pope. I just

don’t have as many people who believe it.”

George Carlin

09/23/2022 “The Media”   Leave a comment

Over the years and after many mergers the Mainstream Media has become an arm of the corporations that seem to have their fingers into everything. It’s become painfully clear that many media types have become TV stars in their own right. You would think that those under public scrutiny would be more careful than most about the articles and headlines they post or print. I guess that folks who control what we see and read could at times be less than careful. To prove my point read these wonderfully lame and stupid headlines that made their way through writers and editors to amuse and annoy the rest of us.

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

War Dims Hope for Peace

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency

Whatever Their Motives, Moms Who Kill Kids Still Shock Us

Lawyer Says Client Is Not That Guilty

This kind of carelessness is unbelievable. Lots of people are being paid lots of money to create these ridiculous headlines. Hopefully going forward the newspapers and websites will at least make some effort to stop the madness.

DON’T HOLD YOUR BREATH

09/22/2022 “The Cinema & Celebs”   Leave a comment

  • Did you know that the nationality of Warner Oland, the actor who appeared as Charlie Chan, was Swedish.
  • Humphrey Bogart’s urn contains his ashes and a small gold whistle. The whistle was a gift from Lauren Bacall engraved with “If you need anything, just whistle.”
  • Did you know that William Claude Dunkenfield was the real name of comedian W. C. Fields.
  • Singer Bob Dylan appeared as a character named Alias in the 1973 Sam Peckinpah film Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid.
  • Actress Joan Collins pose semi-nude in a 1983 issue of Playboy at the age of 50. The issue sold out.

  • Actor Hal Holbrook played the Watergate cover-up informant Deep Throat in the 1976 film All the Presidents Men.
  • Elizabeth Taylor published a book at the age of 14 in 1946. It was a story about her childhood pet chipmunk named Nibbles.
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger made his screen debut in a 1970 Italian TV film called Hercules in New York. His name in the credits was Arnold Strong.
  • The real first name for actor Chevy Chase is Cornelius.
  • In the 1968 Otto Preminger film Skidoo, Groucho Marx starred as God.
  • Under the Motion Picture Censorship Code in effect from 1934 to 1968, a kiss had to last more than 30 seconds to be judged “indecent”.

MORE TO COME – EVENTUALLY

09/19/2022 ๐Ÿ’ฅSilly Limerick Alert๐Ÿ’ฅ   Leave a comment

It’s time once again for a few silly limericks circa 1960. These are fun limericks, and the creators will be listed if possible.

A cheerful old bear at the zoo

Could always find something to do.

When it bored him to go

On a walk to and fro,

He reversed it and walked fro and to.

๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

By Ogden Nash

A Bugler named Dougal MacDougal

Found ingenious ways to be frugal.

He learned how to sneeze

In various keys,

Thus, saving the price of a bugle.

๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

By Al Graham

A Martian named Harrison Harris

Decided he’d like to see Paris.

In space (so we learn)

He forgot where to turn

And that’s why he’s now on Polaris.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

By Berton Braley

Young Frankenstein’s robot invention

Caused trouble too awful to mention.

Its actions were ghoulish,

Which proves it is foolish

To monkey with Natures intention.

๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ

IT’S GOOD TO START A WEEK WITH SILLINESS

09/13/2022 ๐Ÿš‹The Good Old Days๐Ÿš‚   Leave a comment

Trivia . . . more trivia . . . Here’s some interesting retro trivia from those good old days that we’ve always heard so much about. You can decide if they were as good as we’ve always been told.

  • Two hundred years ago: For kissing his wife in public on a Sunday after just returning from a three-year voyage, a Boston ship captain was made to sit two hours in the stocks for “lewd and seemly behavior”.
  • The first Cadillac, which was produced in 1903, cost less than the original model T Ford. Their prices, respectively, were $750 and $875.
  • The bathhouse in the late medieval town became the habitat for loose women and lecherous man as family life deteriorated. The medieval word for bathhouse, “stew,” has come down in English as a synonym for brothel.
  • The average married woman in 17th century America gave birth to 13 children.
  • One-third of all automobiles in New York City, Boston, and Chicago in 1900 were electric cars, with batteries rather than gasoline engines.

  • In 1909, Annette Kellerman, the Australian swimming star, appeared on a Boston beach wearing a figure- fitting jersey bathing suit with sleeves shortened almost to her shoulders and trousers ending 2 inches above her knees. She was arrested for indecent exposure.
  • Life expectancy at birth for Americans was 34.5 years for males and 36.5 years for females when George Washington became president in 1789.
  • As late as 1890, nearly 75% of Americans had to fetch their mail from a post office. A community had to have at least 10,000 people to be eligible for home delivery, and most people then lived in towns or on farms.
  • The Puritans, considering buttons a vanity and used only hooks and eyes.
  • In colonial days it was legal to smoke tobacco in Massachusetts only when the smoker was traveling and had reached a location that was 5 miles away from any town. In 1647 Connecticut passed a law forbidding social smoking and limiting the use of tobacco to once a day, and then only when the smoker was alone in his own house.

DO YOU PREFER “THEN” OR “NOW”?

09/12/2022 “MORE ANONYMOUS SAYINGS”   Leave a comment

Yesterday I posted a list of sayings, and most were attributed to people who are or were once famous. The response to that posting was excellent leading me to try something a little different. Have you ever heard a friend or acquaintance say something that “stuck with you”, something funny or profound? Today’s list will be pearls of wisdom from the smartest person in the world, “Anonymous”. We never seem to realize just how smart that SOB can be.

  • A gossip tells things before you have a chance to tell them.
  • We expect our children to learn good table manners without ever seeing any.
  • The other night, while lying on the couch, I reviewed the high point of my life and fell asleep.
  • Imagination makes a man think he can run the business better than the boss.
  • He who peeps through a hole may see what will vex him.

  • Strange how much you’ve got to know before you know how little you know.
  • People are living longer now; they have too – who can afford to die?
  • Some people are easily entertained. All you have to do is sit down and listen to them.
  • Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.
  • Marriage is a wonderful institution. If it weren’t for marriage, husbands and wives would have to fight with perfect strangers.

THANK YOU ANONYMOUS

09/11/2022 “SAYINGS”   1 comment

I’m a lover of quotations as you all know. Some are poignant and other are a bit to smarmy and silly. They’re all good if you take them at face value. Just don’t read too much into them or your in trouble. I’ve collected many that are funny and those are my favorites regardless of who supplied them. These following sayings are from all sorts of people, some well known but most are not. Here they are . . .

  • The devils boots don’t creak. Scottish Proverb
  • Losing weight is a triumph of mind over platter. Anon
  • Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable. Jean de la Fontaine
  • It is easier to know how to do than it is to do. Chinese Proverb
  • When dealing with people remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice, and motivated by pride and vanity. Dale Carnegie

  • Speak well of your enemies, sir, you made them. Oren Arnold
  • God is a father; luck, a stepfather. Yiddish Proverb
  • A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults. Louis Nizer
  • My lawyer was hurt – the ambulance backed up suddenly. Anon
  • A leader is best when people barely know he exists. When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will all say, “We did it ourselves.” Lao-tzu

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FALL DAY

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