It’s now the end of September and after reading all of the memorials and remembrances of 9/11, I decided to go my own way. I don’t want to write another heart-wrenching memorial because it’s been done by just about everyone else. I think I would like to highlight the perpetrators and their ilk who continue to commit murder and mayhem unchecked almost everywhere. I can only do the one thing they absolutely hate, that is to ridicule them. We all know they have no sense of humor so someone needs to poke the bear. That would be me. Read on . . .

YOU MAY BE A MUSLIM IF . . .

• You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

• You own a $3000 machine gun and a $5000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

• You have more wives than teeth.

• You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.

• You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

• You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.

• You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your underwear.

• You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

• You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

• Your cousin was once President of United States.

• You find this offensive or racist and you don’t forward it.

What more can I say? If only half of these statements are true, those people aren’t worth any more of my valuable time. I’ve got more important things to do, like scratching my ass, picking my nose, or just about anything else.

WE WILL NEVER EFFING FORGET