Archive for July 2026
I’m feeling a little calmer and relaxed after resolving all of my recent computer woes. What better way to begin another week than with a few limericks from one of my favorite limerick writers, John Ciardi. He was renowned far and wide for his limerick wars with Isaac Azimov. Enjoy some of his work.
💥
There was a young lady who wouldn’t
Her mother had told her she shouldn’t.
When dear mama died
She felt free. So she tried,
But by then she was so old she couldn’t.
💥💥
Cleopatra, when sex was new to her,
Kept buying up young slaves to tutor her.
But the Pharoah (her dad),
For fear she’d go bad,
Kept rendering them neuterer neuterer.
💥💥💥
A fallen young lady of fashion
Gave vents to all sorts of base passion.
Was she scorned? She was not,
For her ways brought a lot
Of highly respectable cash in.
💥💥💥💥
An insomniac young fellow named Hatches
Took a room in a whorehouse in Natchez.
He still tossed and turned
Half the night, but he learned
How to manage by sleeping in snatches.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
SPECIAL THANKS TO JOHN CIARDI
I wasn’t sure I’d be posting today since my best and fastest computer stopped cooperating a few days ago. With the assistance of my better-half, some written instructions from my nephew (who built it), and three or four thousand juicy curse words, I’m once again operational. A tip for those of you who may have computer issues of your own: RULE 1 – do not drink shots of whiskey while attempting to relocate and adjust tiny little switches in the computer. It slows down the progress immensely. Along with that my better-half found out just how skilled I was at stringing those curse words together. Her training continues. LOL Todays post is titled BIZARRE for a reason.
- Katherine Hepburn suffered from a phobia of dirty hair. When she was shooting films for Twentieth Century Fox, she would sniff the heads of cast and crew to make sure their hair was squeaky clean.
- In Vermont it is illegal to whistle underwater.
- Pennsylvania law books record a 1971 case of a man suing Satan – for his own bad luck and downfall. The case was thrown out of court on the grounds that Satan did not live in the state of Pennsylvania.
- Don’t ever fall asleep in a bath tub in Detroit. You could be arrested because sleeping in bathtubs is illegal in the city.
- “You have to be saved to get into heaven . . . you only have to be you to get into hell.” Marilyn Manson
- In the ancient city of Jericho the dead were buried under the houses they lived in. But first their heads were severed, covered with plaster and clay, and decorated for their families to worship.
- Catherine, wife of Russian czar Peter I, had a wandering eye, and Peter caught on. To teach Catherine a lesson, he forced her to watch her lover be killed, then pickled the lover’s head and kept it in their bedroom.
- In the 17th century, midwives had a custom of saving a woman’s afterbirth, or placenta, and then burning it. The superstition was that the number of times the burning placenta popped indicated the number of children the mother could expect in the future.
- For decades sports stars have claimed that appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated magazine was the fastest way to a slump or defeat.
- When John Madden was the coach of the Oakland Raiders football team, he wouldn’t let the team leave the locker room until running back Mark van Eeghen had belched.
😣😣😣
WEIRD IS GOOD – BIZARRE IS BETTER
Here’s something I wish I’d posted prior to the World Cup taking ownership of our country. I found it in a book of random trivia facts which I will diligently attempt to paraphrase. Most countries think that Americans hate soccer. I think that’s probably true but to a lesser extent than you might think. Here is an opinion piece which I found somewhat interesting.
- Even though playing youth soccer is a veritable rite of passage in parts of the U.S., it seems that most Americans tend to lose interest in the sport around the age of twelve. The indifference previously shown to the sport has baffled sports journalists for decades. Here are a few theories why.
- American’s dislike games in which you can’t use your hands.
- Americans dislike games without a lot of action and they consider soccer boring. Too many tie games and games with a score of three or less goals. Watching soccer for a few hours is mind-numbing.
- Americans don’t like prissy athlete’s who spend most of the game flopping around on the ground and gesticulating wildly when they get called for a penalty.
- The real problem is that America has never fielded a team that was competitive in the sport and that stings the American ego a bit. Losing to teams from countries like Columbia and Costa Rica is ego deflating.
The world’s insane love for soccer is strange to Americans but at the same time Americans are crazy for NASCAR. That’s a seriously vexing sports question to be sure. Will things ever change because of our recent exposure to the World Cup? Who knows?
FYI: I WILL NEVER BE A SOCCER (OR FUTBOL) FAN . . . EVER!
Are you an animal lover? I imagine most of us love and appreciate our pets and make them part of the family. Other folks love animals just as much, if not more, but that is based entirely on their favorite meat cuts and flavor. Todays post will give you a few facts you might not have heard before Enjoy!
- In the last three thousand years, no new animals have been domesticated.
- Scientist have discovered that chickens egg output increases when pop music is played in their roost.
- A pelican can hold approximately 25 pounds of fish in it’s pouch.
- The first fish in space was a South American guppy in 1976.
- Iguanas, koalas and Komodo dragons all have two penises.
- Armadillos and humans are the only animals that can get leprosy.
- Camels milk is the only milk that doesn’t curdle when boiled.
- Jackals have one more pair of chromosomes than dogs or wolves.
- No one knows why a ducks quack doesn’t echo.
- Rhino’s belong to the same family as horses and were thought to have inspired the myth of the unicorn.
🙉🦝🦧🦍🐒🐺🦁🐯
MOST SUPRISING
A quarter of all animal species are bats.
PETA SUCKS!
With the Fourth of July behind us it’s time to move on down the road. I realized recently that with the World Cup invading America, making thousands of videos, and loving our life here, I began to see things about them more clearly than ever before. Since I’ve been impressed with them, now it’s time for you to impress yourselves with a World Trivia Quiz. This is how I celebrate the Fourth. as always the answers will be listed below.
- What are the natives of Monaco called?
- What is the mussiest river in the world?
- Where was St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, born?
- On what island are one-third of the world’s languages spoken?
- American children get their Easter eggs from the Easter Bunny. Who delivers Easter eggs to Swiss youngsters?
- Serendip was the early name for Ceylon. What is it now called?
- What was the name of the pug who shared it’s bed with Napoleon and Josephine?
- Where is the large iron key to the Bastille – that notorious French prison – kept today?
- What river is the only one that flows both north and south of the equator?
- What country, after the USA, has the world’s greatest number of tornados?
🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎
The Answers
Monegasques, The Yellow River in China, Scotland, New Guinea with 700 native languages, The Easter Cuckoo, Sri Lanka, Fortune, George Washington’s home at Mt. Vernon, The Congo – it crosses the equator twice, Australia.
LOTS OF USELESS INFORMATION
It’s almost too effing hot to do anything. I’m hiding in the man-cave with the fans roaring and it sounds more like an airport runway than a man-cave. It’s as good a day as any to post more of my favorite things: limericks. I normally post limericks by category but not today. Here are a few chosen totally at random from the archives.
💥(1941)
There was a young man from St. Kitt
Who was screwing a spinster, but quit.
Said she, “Don’t be scary,
Its only my cherry,”
But he said, “It feels more like a pit.”
💥💥(1928)
There was a young girl from Samoa
Who determined that no man should know her.
One fellow tried
But she wiggled aside,
And spilled all the spermatozoa.
💥💥💥(1927)
There was a young man of Cape Horn
Who wished he’d never been born.
And he wouldn’t have been
If his father had seen
That the end of the rubber was torn.
💥💥💥💥(1941)
A certain young man of St.Paul
Consistently practiced withdrawal.
This quaint predilection
Created such friction,
He soon had no foreskin at all.
❤️❤️❤️
I HOPE THEY MADE YOU SMILE A LITTLE
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