10/18/2021 If You Live in Maine   Leave a comment

I know that I’ve mentioned the state of Maine many times in this blog but it’s time to tell you a little more about it. I moved here in 1999 from the not-so-great state of Massachusetts. I’ve traveled a lot during my life and lived in a number of states but I have to say out of all them Maine is the best. It’s called America’s “Vacation Land” because it seems like everyone wants to come here in the warm months and enjoy the beaches, the wilderness, the lighthouses, the lobsters and the simpler way of living. With that in mind I thought I’d share with you the following list. As you read each of these entries add these words to the end of each sentence, “You must live in Maine.”

  • If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May . . .
  • If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t even work there . . .
  • If you had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number . . .
  • If you measure distance in hours . . .
  • If you know several people who’ve hit a deer or moose more than once . . .
  • If you switched from heat to AC in the same day and then back again . . .
  • If you can drive 75 miles through 2 feet of snow during a blizzard for beer without flinching . . .
  • If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked . . .
  • If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife actually knows how to use them . . .
  • If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit . . .
  • If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow . . .
  • If you know all four seasons: almost Winter, Winter, still Winter, and road construction . . .
  • If you have more miles on your snowblower than your car . . .
  • If you find 10° just a little chilly . . .

Well there you have it. Everything you ever want to know about Maine but were afraid to ask. We’re already preparing for winter and since we had such a mild one last year we’re expecting the worst. If you like snow shoveling, ice fishing, skiing, snowmobiling, cross-country skiing, and falling on your ass on a daily basis . . . come spend your winter in Maine.

THE WAY LIFE OUGHT TO BE

Posted October 18, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Just Saying Again

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