If the title has confused you, let me explain. Malaprops are simply a wide variety of verbal miscues. I’m supplying you with a few samples that made me grin a little. These were taken from grade school, middle school, high school and college examinations. So much for higher education.

• Gutenberg invented the Bible.

• Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English.

• Italics are what Italians write in.

• Protons are in both meat and electricity.

• Abraham Lincoln became Americas greatest Precedent.

• You purify water by filtering it and the forcing it through an aviator.

• Salmon swim upstream to spoon.

• Socrates died from taking a poison called wedlock.

• Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.

• Never look a gift horse in the mouse.

• A leopard is a form of dotted lion.

• The police surrounded the building and threw an accordian around the block.

• Marriage to one wife is called monotony.

• The mountain range between France and Spain is the Pyramids.

• The government of England is a limited mockery.

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A special thanks (tongue-in-cheek) to all of the teachers who taught these exceptional students. Maybe they will all be saved embarrassment once the AI’s take over. LOL.

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AND ANOTHER SPECIAL THANKS TO STEVEN D. PRICE