I’m a bit of a history nut and because it’s the Christmas season I began wondering, how the Christmas we celebrate came to be. Of course, having a trace of Celtic blood in me leads me directly back to the Druids and some of their odd and unusual celebratory customs. As far as I can tell that’s where the tradition of mistletoe began as it was a part of many of their holiday ceremonies. As I read through a number of books there was absolutely no history of kissing under the mistletoe in the days of the Druids. The tradition of hanging a sprig in the house is supposedly linked to them as well. That came much later with the earliest recorded mention in some sort of music from 1784.
In illustrations of Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol, there appeared pictures of people kissing under the mistletoe. It’s quite likely that those illustrations popularized the custom. Leave it up to us Americans to take an old Bronze Age custom and turn it into just another reason to be kissing on someone.ofofofI was also curious of where the custom of bringing a tree into the house originated. As best I can determine it started with the Germans who got it from the Romans, who got it from the Egyptians who got it from the Babylonians. Who knows what’s true and what isn’t. It seems that those pesky Babylonians passed down a lot of crazy traditions to anyone who’d listen. Apparently, there was some sort of Babylonian fable concerning an evergreen tree that grew out of a dead tree trunk. Sounds stupid to me but any reason is a good reason when you want to throw a party or orgy.
The first written record of a decorated Christmas tree comes from Latvia, in the 1500’s. Local merchants decorated a tree and danced around it in the marketplace. When they became too tired to dance, they set it on fire. I’m sure glad that custom didn’t make it to the present day. Around that same time the Germans in their infinite wisdom passed a law to limit the size of a Christmas tree to just over four foot high. You gotta love them Germans.
Jump ahead a hundred years when it became common in Germany to decorate Christmas trees with apples. During the 1700’s in parts of Austria and Germany, evergreen tips hung from the ceiling and were decorated with apples, gilded nuts and red paper strips. The first mentions of using lighted candles came from France in the 18th century. Those quirky French must have a fondness for the occasional house fire. As Europeans emigrated to America, they brought their customs with them. The Christmas tree was introduced in the United States and grew from tabletop size to floor-to-ceiling. If you’re going to live in America, everyone knows things must be bigger and better.
In the 1880’s trees began to be sold commercially in the United States and were normally harvested from the forests. The first glass ornaments were introduced again from Germany and were mostly balls. Toys and figurines also became more common during those years. Sears, Roebuck & Company began offering artificial Christmas trees for sale – 33 limbs for $.50 and 55 limbs for $1.00. There was nothing that Sears Roebuck won’t rush to sell to make a few bucks.
The 1900’s brought us the first Christman tree farms because the surrounding forests were being overharvested. W.V. McGalliard planted 25,000 Norway spruce on his farm in New Jersey to get the ball rolling. President Theodore Roosevelt actually considered banning the practice of having Christmas trees out of his concern about the destruction of the forests. His two sons disagreed and enlisted the help of conservationist Gifford Pinchot to convince the President that the tradition was not harmful to the forests. In 1966 the National Christmas Tree Association began its time-honored tradition of having the Grand Champion grower present a Christmas Tree to the First Lady for display in the Blue Room of the White House. Currently there are approximately 25-30 million real Christmas trees sold each year in the United States. Almost all of these come from farms.
Just a tip from a former college student who worked part-time on a Christmas tree farm in Edinboro, Pennsylvania in the 1960’s. It was the worst job I ever had. I smelled like pine trees for months and ruined most of my clothes because of the sap. That job convinced me to say the hell with tradition, just get me one of those beautiful artificial trees. I never looked back.
Well, we’re left with only 15 shopping days till Christmas. Instead of writing about myself and my Christmas stories, which I’ll save for later time, I found a few others that are both humorous and funny. The first story comes out of the great state of Connecticut and took place a few yeas ago. In my experience Connecticut has always had an overabundance of strange folks wandering the streets and once again I’ve been proven correct. I’ve never known anyone who found Santa all that sexy but apparently they’re a few people out there who do. Here we go.
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DANBURY, Conn. (AP) — Santa Claus says that a woman who sat on his lap was naughty, not nice. A Santa at the Danbury Fair mall said the woman groped him. “The security officer at the mall said Santa Claus has been sexually assaulted,” police Detective Lt. Thomas Michael said of the weekend complaint.
Sandrama Lamy, 33, of Danbury, was charged with sexual assault and breach of peace. She was released on a promise to appear in court on Jan. 3.
Police quickly found and identified Lamy because the woman was described as being on crutches, said Capt. Bob Myles. A call seeking comment from Lamy was answered by a recording Tuesday morning. A woman later called back and said: “It’s a false report and I don’t have any idea.”
Police did not give the name of the disconcerted Santa, but they said he is 65 and felt badly because children were waiting to see him. “He was apparently shocked and embarrassed by the whole incident,” Myles said.
A man who teaches hundreds of prospective Santa’s a year _ “Santa Tim” Connaghan, president of realsantas.com, said he’s never heard of a similar incident, though it’s not unusual for adults to want to pose with Santa.
“I’ve had some very nice ladies sit on my lap,” said Connaghan, who did not train the Danbury Fair Santa. “Once in a while they’ll say ‘I hope Mrs. Claus isn’t going to be upset.’ You have to be discreet and kind and say ‘Oh no, she’ll be OK. You can sit here, but only for one photo.'”
A spokeswoman for Cherry Hill Photo, the company that coordinates Santa’s for Danbury Fair, declined to comment Tuesday.
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Here’s a short list of the many and varied ways you can say Merry Christmas around the world. It may not interest some of you and that’s okay, enjoy them anyway.
Glaedelig Jul – Danish
Vrolijike Kerst – Dutch
Hyvvaa Joulua – Finnish
Frohe Weihnachten – German
Kala Christouyenna – Greek
Gledileg Jol – Icelandic
Buon Natale – Italian
God Jul – Norwegian
Feliz Natal – Portuguese
God Jul – Swedish
Iyi Noeller – Turkish
There’s always room for more Christmas trivia. I think it’s a good thing to see and understand just how this holiday developed and has been interpreted around the world in so many different cultures.
Christmas Eve in Japan is a good day to eat fried chicken and strawberry shortcake.
Michigan has no official state song, but one, ‘Michigan, My Michigan,’ is frequently used. The words were written in 1863, and the melody used is that of the Christmas song “O Tannenbaum”.
Electric Christmas lights were first used in 1854.
America’s official national Christmas tree is located in King’s Canyon National Park in California. The tree, a giant sequoia called the “General Grant Tree”, is over 90 meters (300 feet) high, and was made the official Christmas tree in 1925.
The first department store to feature a visit with Santa was the J. W. Parkinson’s store in Philadelphia in 1841. Astonishingly, no other department stores copied this event until 1890 when a store in Boston repeated it. Before long lines of children formed at stores across America to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him their Christmas wish list. The department store Santa has been immortalized in films such as Miracle on 34th Street and Christmas Story.
“Jingle Bells” was originally written for a Thanksgiving celebration, in 1857.
Well, there you have it. Another short collection of useless Christmas trivia. It amazes me just how much information is available about Christmas not just here in the United States but around the world. The more I search the more I find and just so you know I intend to keep searching. Hopefully within the next day or two I’ll post my Christmas story involving Santa and and his visits to my home in Pennsylvania oh so many years ago.
Well it’s now official, Christmas is here. Do you know how I know? My back is sore and my butt cheeks are screaming at me. That’s what snow shoveling can do to a person. I’ve mentioned a number of times how much I love the snow which upon occasion allows me to take some really beautiful photographs. Unfortunately the snow that’s currently clogging my driveway is a double-edged sword. It’s making everything look so nice and white and at the same time makes walking for me a real hazard. For most of my life I’ve been known as one of those people who can’t walk and talk at the same time on ice. It’s not such a beautiful thing when you’re laying on your back in the driveway looking up at the sky, ho;ping and praying you didn’t just break something.
We here in Maine are in the process of receiving approximately 8-10 inches of snow making this the first real snowfall of the winter. It’ll make for a white Christmas if the snow lasts but I’m almost certain that within 48 hours it will be looking more like dirty brown. In Maine we get loads of snow every year and also loads of SNIRT. SNIRT is a mixture of snow and dirt that rapidly piles up each winter leaving us with huge frozen piles in April that take until May to melt. That’s the double edged sword of beautiful snow; beautiful yet dangerous, white yet dirty, snow yet slush. I happen to be one of those unlucky individuals who can slip, slide, and fall in every one of those circumstances.
I’ve gone so far as to purchase snowshoes, walking sticks, and special shoe clamps to avoid breaking my neck or other important body parts. I’ve got scars in all the wrong places from past injuries suffered while putting my life at risk to shovel the driveway.
I’m sitting here looking out the window at my neighbor bundled up to the point of being unrecognizable and attempting to clear a path for his wife’s car. He looks thrilled to death at having a “White Christmas” and I know he whistling a Christmas carol or two as his boots fill with freezing cold and melted snow.
I’m not entirely sure where the term “White Christmas” originated. It intrigued me enough that I decided to find out. We have Irving Berlin and Bing Crosby to thank for the whole deal. I can’t find any other mention of that term anywhere. It’s just another child born of war.
"It was a peaceful song that became a wartime classic. Its unorthodox, melancholy melody—and mere 54 words, expressing the simple yearning for a return to happier times—sounded instantly familiar when sung by America’s favorite crooner. But 67 years after its introduction, some still are surprised to learn that Bing Crosby’s recording of the Irving Berlin ballad "White Christmas" became not only the runaway smash-hit for the World War II holidays, but the best-selling record of all time."
Since both Bing Crosby and Irving Berlin have long since passed on I can’t send them the “thanks for nothing” email I have bouncing around in my skull. I’d love somehow to get their freaking song out of my head just once during one Christmas season. It’s brainwashing I tell you, it’s a government plot, and it’s infected generations of us into becoming Christmas junkies. And just so you know, that damn “Silent Night” is running a close second.
As I head back out into the snow to complete my shoveling I’ll be thinking of those two gentlemen as I’m slipping, sliding, falling, and humming that damn song. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Today I’ve rejoined the Christmas parade with more tidbits of useless information collected for your entertainment. After reading some of these odd stories and facts you might think your own Christmas traditions are somewhat tame. First, we have a few facts about Christmas from around the world.
According to a 1995 survey, 7 out of 10 British dogs get Christmas gifts from their doting owners.
Charles Dickens’ initial choice for Scrooge’s statement "Bah Humbug" was "Bah Christmas."
A traditional Christmas dinner in early England was the head of a pig prepared with mustard.
During the Christmas buying season, Visa cards alone are used an average of 5,340 times every minute in the United States.
During the ancient 12-day Christmas celebration, the log burned was called the "Yule log". Sometimes a piece of the Yule log would be kept to kindle the fire the following winter, to ensure that the good luck carried on from year to year. The Yule log custom was handed down from the Druids.
In Britain, the Holy Days and Fasting Days Act of 1551, which has not yet been repealed, states that every citizen must attend a Christian church service on Christmas Day, and must not use any kind of vehicle to get to the service.
If I didn’t pique your interest with those facts then maybe these little stories will. Unfortunately even on Christmas people can and will do some of the dumbest things you can imagine. Be glad none of these folks are in your family.
Christmas Stupid
Late coming home after a night out, a youngster attempted to climb into his home down the chimney. He did not to want to wake other residents in the Judson Centersocial services agency; also he had broken his curfew and wanted no trouble.
In best Santa Claus mode he climbed onto the roof and let himself down the chimney; unfortunately he was too large, and he became stuck. The 17 year old began moaning and was heard and rescued. Fire fighters and police officers from the City of Royal Oak, Michigan, USA, had to pull him out. The youth suffered from minor scrapes and bruises.
Christmas Stupid On Steroids
1) This is a true story about John Porter, from New York State, whose pipes in his home froze one winter. Anxious to unfreeze them, Mr Porter backed his car up to an open window so that the exhaust would warm up the house. A little while later and Porter, his wife and their three children had to be rushed to hospital suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning.
2) George Gibbs, from Columbus, Ohio, suffered second-degree burns on his head. This is what happened one freezing cold winter morning. Unable to start his car, George diagnosed the problem as a frozen fuel line which he thought he could correct by running warm gas through it. He then tried to heat a two-gallon can of gas on his gas stove in the kitchen.
I can only assume that George became an immediate french fried A-hole. It’s really no surprise to any of us that stupid never takes a holiday. Now for a short visit to Japan for a lesson in Christmas romance. I hope you never end up as “unsold Christmas cake”.
Christmas Japanese Style
In Japan Christmas is widely celebrated as a day for romance, a day for sweet-hearts much like Valentine’s Day in other countries. Christmas cake is popular but it is a strawberry cream sponge with no traditional ingredients in sight.
The main Christmas dish is a popular fast food, fried chicken, as that is how a traditional Christmas meal is depicted in local advertising. Women of 25 years and older who are single are jokingly referred to as "unsold Christmas cake". Not very friendly think Will and Guy.
Note: Sending red Christmas cards to anyone in Japan constitutes bad etiquette, since funeral notices there are customarily printed in red.
Here’s my Christmas gift to all of you. A little Christmas humor to share with family and friends. These jokes and one-liners are so corny they just might make you smile a little.
What is the purpose of reindeer? It makes the grass grow, sweetie.
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up and asked, ‘Did you get my drift?’
Christmas: The time of year when everyone gets Santamental.
What is a webmaster’s favorite hymn? Oh, dot com all ye faithful!
What do lions sing at Christmas? Jungle bells!
When is a boat like a pile of snow? When it’s adrift.
How do snowmen get around? On their icicles.
What does Santa call reindeer that don’t work? Dinner.
What do you call the fear of getting stuck in a chimney? Santaclaustrophobia
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