I received my second gift of this Fall season yesterday.  My first gift was my broken leg that occurred at the end of October.  The second gift was the doctor declaring my leg healed after just six weeks and ordering the removal of the air cast and those dirty, rotten, miserable, and effing crutches.  Also, he felt physical therapy wouldn’t be necessary either.  He slapped on a small and unobtrusive ankle brace which allows me to once again wear a normal shoe and walk on two feet.  I was on my way home and I was thrilled BUT . . . . .

You’d think I’d be happier but over the years I’ve discovered that every silver cloud has a dark and disturbing chewing center.  During my two months of hopping around on one leg I forgot just how much of a negative effect not using that leg could be.  I lost almost thirty percent of the muscle mass in my leg in just 2 months.  I also was so concerned about the broken bone that I gave very little thought to the damage my knee suffered in the same accident.  Now that I’m able to put full weight on the leg the knee is screaming for attention. I gave up the cast for an ankle brace and gave up the crutches for a knee brace.  There seems to be no end to this madness and some one somewhere is intent on having me hobbled for Christmas.  It’s a little spooky.

I decided to celebrate with my better-half on my return to two legged walking and we planned a night out to have some fun.  First we had to babysit the grandson on my first nite back which was fun like always. My better-half returned to work the next day and upon her arrival home she was complaining  endlessly about all of the sick employees who’d been calling off and leaving early due to some kind of virus.  The next morning I was lying in bed and felt the dreaded tickle in the back of my throat.  Twenty-four hours later I’m sneezing, my nose is running, and the fever is building.  I’ve now been on my back for two days with some sort of damn flu courtesy of either my grandson or my better-half.  K M N !!!

If I don’t catch anymore diseases or break anymore bones I hope to be back on my feet by Christmas.  I’d just be happy to feel good and be able to walk into the kitchen unaided by anyone or anything.  I certainly hope New Years remains uneventful.  I’ll be locking myself up in solitary confinement on the 26th and staying there for the rest of the month.  No contact with my better-half, no visits from my cat, and especially no visits or contact from that disease carrying little runt of a grandson.  The party will be a quiet one but at least I’ll be feeling better.  I’m hoping against hope that 2014 is a vast improvement over this year.

And here’s the cherry on top of my December sundae.  I awoke this morning to find fifteen inches of snow covering everything.  I immediately attacked it with my snow blower to help my better-half go to work.  Big surprise, I traveled no more than 100 feet and it died.  They say things come in threes so I think I should be good for a while.

DECK THE EFFING HALLS