Archive for the ‘golden years’ Tag

04/30/2024 “RETIREMENT”   Leave a comment

I discovered over the years that the older you get the more reminiscing you do and I’m still not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’ve always been a believer of worrying about the future not the past and that hasn’t changed a whole lot. I’ll be turning 78 years old in August of this year and I’m amazed. I never thought I’d live this long because of my rough and tumble attitude towards living. As I was reminiscing about my long and somewhat interesting life I wondered, what some of the other people that I read about deal with their aging after the age of 70. I always jokingly told anyone who’d listen that after 70 I would retire, sit on my porch with a drink, and smoke as much weed as I could get my hands on until I passed on. Little did I know that I’d be buying my cannabis at a convenience store in gummy form. One of life’s many miracles. I thought a little reflection on my current lifestyle should be matched against some of our more famous or infamous celebrities.

Age 70

Socrates is condemned to die for corrupting the minds of Athenian youth.

Me: I made dozens of bottles of wine, and then spent a few months drinking them.

Age 71

Nelson Mandela was released from a South African prison, after 20 years of incarceration.

Me: Completed a few graphic paintings of scantily clad buxom young women. Then I drank some more wine and sat and looked at them. And yes, I still do.

Age 72

The Marquis de Sade takes a new, 15-year-old lover.

Me: I looked for a 15-year-old lover but forgot why.

Page 73

Walt Stack completes the Ironman Triathlon in 26 hours, 20 minutes.

Me: I did 1000 steps in one day, and my faithful Fit Bit was so amazed it exploded.

Age 74

Albert Einstein announces his unified field theory (but it didn’t hold up).

Me: Drank more wine, contemplated some of my erotic paintings, and worked hard trying to remember the names of the models.

Age 75

Fanny Garrison Villard founds the Women’s Peace Society.

Me: I founded and celebrated the Maine chapter of the Jack Daniels Fan Club. I also considered making a Hag to their distillery in Tennessee.

Age 76

Charles Foster Kane, of Citizen Kane, whispers his immortal, confounding clue, “Rosebud”.

Me: I decided after rereading Citizen Kane that I needed a lot more Jack Daniels. It’s the only way to defend myself against the boredom of Orson Welles and his writings. Little did he know I once had a fat little gerbil named Orson who never really bored me at all.

Age 77

Grandma Moses takes up painting in a serious manner.

Me: After 16 years of my so-called retirement, I bought a lot more weed and a case of a really good Chardonnay in preparation for the start of our three grandson’s 2024 Little League debuts.

LIFE CAN BE GOOD – IF YOU LET IT

Posted April 30, 2024 by Every Useless Thing in Bitch & Complain, Education, Entertainment, History, Home Brewing, Humor, Just Saying, Kill Me, I'm Begging You, Looking Back, Love, Sarcasm, Sex, Sports, Trivia

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7/15/2021 My Continuing Education   1 comment

I’m now considered by most people that I know to be an older citizen (fart) that should be respected and taken care of. Of all the things I’ve had to adjust to that is the hardest. I understand that kind of pity is accompanied by a lot of love and caring since I went through the same thing when my parents reached their platinum years. That’s right, PLATINUM.  The golden years end at 70 and then the platinum years kick in.

I’m not complaining but just stating the obvious.  The biggest blessing that I’ve discovered in my platinum years is my continuing education supplied to me by my grandchildren.  They see me so much differently than their parents and sometimes it makes me laugh out loud and other time brings tears to my eyes.

During my year of hell with surgeries and chemotherapy I made sure to keep the oldest grandson (age 5 at the time) aware of what was happening.  He examined my stitches and staples and was more than a little interested in the chemotherapy and all the tubes and pumps I was required to wear.  I didn’t want him to be frightened by all of it and he paid very close attention and asked a million questions.  Towards the end of the chemo I was feeling extremely sorry for myself and was bitching and complaining about my horrible life.  He brought a shot of reality into the conversation very quickly. He lightly touched my hand and simply stated “All of this is better than dead grampa.”  From the mouths of babes.

His younger brother missed out on most of that but has since brought his own way of seeing things to my attention. He is quite the artist which pleases me so much. We have something in common which is a great place to begin a real relationship. I’m sure the fun with him has just begun,

Then comes grandson number three who is all of 1 1/2 years old now. I was worried how I’d be able to connect with him since I  only met him for two days when he was a new born. His arrival had me a little apprehensive since he lives in California and is someone I won’t get to see all that often. 

I don’t know why I was so worried.  He arrived with his parents and stole the show. He isn’t talking much but he gets his message across very quickly. I was a little standoffish at first but he was having none of that.  He kept smiling at me every chance our eyes met and he teased me along until I loosened up a little.  On his last day here he walked over to my chair and indicated he wanted to come up.  I picked him up, he laid down his head, and went to sleep.  I held him for two hours and I was in heaven.  My education continues….. lucky me.

Posted July 15, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Education, History, Just Saying

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