I’m glad to announce this is the final installment of my list of the 100 Things I Once Hated. It’s been an interesting process for me but I doubt if it’s been all that interesting for you. I’ll get into that thought in more detail in my next posting where I evaluate the results in more detail. Lets get going . . .
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#86 Crowded Elevators – If you’re the least bit claustrophobic you’ll understand this item. Without extensive therapy this could never change and I’m positive it will never change because there will be no extensive therapy. No improvement.
#87 Gossips – Everyone gossips at some point in their life and I have no problem with the little unimportant bits of nonsense people chat about. It’s the malicious gossiping that’s burned me a few times in the past. 50% improvement.
#88 Baby Pageants – How these things are permitted by law puzzles me. Under any other circumstances if you dress up a little girl to look like an adult and parade her around in front of a group of other adults you could get some jail. No improvement at all.
#89 Pot Holes – These damn things have cost me hundreds of dollars over the years in repairs to many of my vehicles. I’m still waiting for any offer from ten or so municipalities to repay me for the damage caused by their unrepaired roads. It’s a good thing I’m not holding my breath on that one. No improvement.
#90 Screaming Brats – Being a former screaming brat myself I have great insight into this issue. Whether in a store, a bus, a street corner, or anywhere else, I can’t stand them. No improvement.
#91 Texting While Driving – You might think I’d be a little lenient towards people who text while driving since the woman who smashed into my car while I was sitting at a stop sign was responsible for me buying my first digital camera. It was the money left over after all the damages to my vehicle were fixed. No improvement.
#92 Saggy Pants – This item is right up there with backward baseball caps and underwear sticking out over your jeans. Idiotic, moronic, and ridiculous. No improvement.
#93 Warts – I’ve had one or two of these over the years and they are an annoyance more than anything. Genital warts are another story completely but luckily I haven’t had them and I hope I never do. 50% improvement.
#94 Granny Panties – Just thinking about these makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little. They should be outlawed by the courts with mandatory caning on a bare ass as punishment. I’m not hating them any longer but OMFG who in their right mind likes them? 50% improvement.
#95 Penis Caught In Zipper – Every guy that just read this sentence cringed a little. This is some of the worst pain a man can suffer not even taking into account the accompanying embarrassment. No improvement.
#96 Multiple Chins – And I’m not referring to those famous Chinese Chins mentioned in some jokes. Thank God for plastic surgery but unfortunately not everyone can afford it. I guess it’s not really hate I feel but sympathy. 100% improvement.
#97 Tailgater’s – This applies not to football game tailgaters but to drivers. When I was a cop I loved issuing citations for this violation and that’s when I learned what job satisfaction was really all about. No improvement.
#98 Stinky Arm Pits – This item should be grouped with B.O. and bad breath. I hate them all individually and I especially hate those people who sport all three. No improvement.
#99 Nosy People – The fact that most nosy people are almost always the first ones to gossip makes it even worse. I really don’t hate nosy people who gossip because it’s great fun to feed them made-up facts or untrue information and then to sit back and watch the fun. 50% improvement.
#100 Ex-Wives – No further explanations should be needed here. Ask any divorced person about their exes and you’ll get the same answer. No improvement.
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There you have it. As you can see there have been many changes in how I feel about things in just the last five years. Check back in two days to see my 2014 newly revised list of “Things I Really Did Hate” in my next posting.
By the way – FOUR SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
I hesitate to get into this subject since it’s not something I’ve ever been very good at. I’d like to talk about texting in general and also about sexting in particular. To me they’re similar enough to discuss as one topic since both seem to be the "thing to do" these days.
I’m someone who lives for technology in most things and I work very hard to stay on top of the latest and greatest trends. Some things like sexting and texting just never really appealed to me because I’ve always been more of a hands-on kind of guy when it comes to the opposite sex. It’s my belief that if you want someone to respond sexually to you, you do it in person. Why is it necessary to text at all? Put me on speed dial and hit the damn button if you have something to say, especially if it’s something erotic. Hearing the words spoken by someone who I desire is way more erotic than a text message that could be sent by damn near anyone.
I understand that texting and sexting are all the rage with many of the younger generation because it’s so much easier to say outrageous and erotic things on a computer. Young women can get as crazy as they want, say anything they want, and all too often send pictures and videos thinking it’s safe and won’t easily get distributed. Sorry girls but just think about it. You sext your heart out to someone you think you love and want to be with. Two weeks later the magic has disappeared and he walks away after sending your photo’s, videos, and sext messages to all of his friends. Nothing on the net can be totally controlled no matter how hard you try. You should never forget that, ever!
As I was recently surfing around the net I discovered a few sites giving advice on how to talk dirty with sexting. I won’t link to them from this blog but if your really that interested just look around a little, they’re everywhere. This first list is suggested sexts from men to women.
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"Passed the lingerie shop, and thought of you."
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"Are you wet in the right places?"
"I need to feel you."
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"When I think of you, everything gets harder."
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"What are you wearing under your clothes."
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"Are you ready for some ecstasy?"
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"My hands feel empty without your breasts."
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"I want to be inside you."
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"You need a tongue bath."
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"Meet at the door naked."
Tell me ladies, do these really do anything for you? I find them just a little lame and would be more than a little embarrassed sending them to anyone. Now lets check out a few examples of some suggested sexts sent by women to men.
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“I’m imagining you all over my body.”
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“My clothes feel so uncomfortable right now, come and help me get out of them.”
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“I can’t stop thinking about what you’re going to do to me tonight.”
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“Does it make you hard to imagine me standing naked.”
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“I’m dying to please you tonight.”
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“I want you in my mouth.”
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“I’m so horny, do you want me to keep myself warm until I can see you.”
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“I want to stroke you all the way to heaven.”
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Does it turn you on knowing that I wrote this txt with one hand because my other is busy.”
I’m sorry but if these were sent to me by any woman I’d be a little amused but far from aroused. A number of years ago when texting and sexting first arrived on the scene I met and dated a young lady who was truly addicted to sexting. She drove me crazy with dozens of messages all day long and the harder I tried to tell her it wasn’t my thing the more persistent she became. I then told her that I was too cheap and refused to spend my hard earned money just to receive unlimited sexts from anyone. On our next date she gave me an unexpected gift, a new cell phone. She demanded that I carry that cell phone which was set up for unlimited texts and that I respond to her sext messages with some good dirty talk of my own. Shortly after that she sent me her first few nude photo’s which helped me to decide to break things off. I returned her telephone unused and disappeared from her life. Just not interested.
Here are a few additional stats I found interesting but a little scary. Our friends over at Harlequin Publishing ran a survey of their readers with the following troublesome results:
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43% of women talk dirty through texts.
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Two-thirds of that 43% said they’d only send racy messages while in a serious relationship, while 35% only needed a few dates before they’re ready to start sexting.
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27% of women admitted to sending nude pictures via email or text messages.
Well there you have it. It appears that this sort of interaction is here to stay in one form or another. That doesn’t change anything for me though. I’ll always prefer to hear my soulmate whispering softly to me on the telephone as she’s speeding home to be with me.
I wish all of you ladies the best of luck. It’s a dangerous world out there so please be careful with what your sending onto the net. I’m reasonably sure I’ll eventually be reading some of what you’ve sexted to your lovers if you continue putting it out there. There’s one thing we all should know by now, once something is on the net it’s there forever.
everyuselessthing.com 