It’s time for another installment of totally useless information. Normally I supply true facts that are strange, ironic, or unbelievable.  Today I’m taking a page from the Main Stream Media who on a regular basis use the jokes told on late night television to gauge certain politicians standing with the American people.  I’ve never really understood that type of polling since most of the material used by Leno, Letterman, Kimmel, and O’Brien is written by professional writers hired and directed by their corporate owners. Of course, they’re all totally unbiased politically.

I like a good laugh and joke as much as the next guy so I’ll pass these tidbits along simply as fun "one liners".  Since this country thrives on "sound bites" this style of humor is all the rage.  I need to enter a disclaimer here because I’m reasonable sure that all of these items are untrue. Enjoy them for what they are, just silly and stupid jokes.

• Einstein estimated that his Theory of Relativity  got him laid more than one hundred times.
• The United States border with Mexico is over 2000 miles long but only six inches wide.
• Montana is the only state where "horseplay" is illegal.
• Ninety six percent of all wrong numbers involve a guy saying, "Larry?"
• Scientists who’ve been studying pigeons agree that they’re definitely up to something.
• In Westchester, NY, there is a barber named Tony DeBarber.
• Newton’s Fourth Law states "No fat chicks".
• Christopher Welden of Columbus, OH, is the only person ever to actually "laugh all the way to the bank".
• While their still not allowed to drive cars, as of May 2006, Saudi Arabian women may operate riding lawn mowers.
• During a screening of Neil Simon’s The Goodbye Girl at the Vatican, someone asked the Pope to remove his hat.
• When held by a person more than seven feet tall a ladle is just called a "spoon".
• In response to continued complaints the Campbell’s Soup company  has removed the letter "F" from their alphabet soup.

Well there you have it. The first dirty dozen useless tidbits that might just make you smile but there are certainly no guarantees.