03-23-2013   2 comments

I had a relatively interesting day today. I was able to accomplish a few things that weren’t planned and somehow those always seem the best. People joke about spontaneity when discussing love and personal relationships but you never hear it in relation to other things.  I have to admit that everything usually returns to people relationships but every once in a while it’s possible to be pleasantly surprised by an unplanned encounter.

My first spontaneous conversation and introduction to someone new occurred this morning.  On a regular basis I turn into a recycling, take care of the environment, conscientious "Greenie".  Every few weeks or so I trek to a place to recycle bottles, cans, and plastic containers.  It’s one of my assigned duties from my better-half to religiously collect all this crap, save it in large bags, and then deliver it for CASH.  All of a sudden I didn’t mind recycling if there was cash involved.  I agreed to this chore as long as all those nickels remained in my pocket and not into the household general fund.  And so began my adventures in doing my part to save the freaking environment.

I manage  to make about $20.00 every six weeks thanks in great part to my better-half’s beer bottle contributions and a great number of plastic water bottles.  Truth be told it’s a huge pain in the ass but I do it to keep peace in the household which makes the effort worthwhile.  Also the cat loves it because all of my pet related expenses are paid for from this small but important fund.  If by chance we have a party or a lot of visitors during the summer months I might even I be able to embezzle enough of the cat fund for the odd bottle of gin.  Don’t tell the cat because he’s a major league nag and I’d never hear the end of it. Any purchases that aren’t Fancy Feast or special treats will really make him hard to live with.

So I arrive at the recycling center which is a cross between a gigantic, stinky and smelly garbage can and a college frat house on Sunday morning. It truly is a disgusting place where no one stays any longer than necessary.  As I enter the building dragging two huge bags of containers I bump into Ryan, the man in charge.  In his twenties, six foot three, 60’s hairdo (not quite a mullet), raggedy ass clothes, and an odor just a little less awful than the surrounding piles of bottles and cans that are apparently his entire life.  He manually sorts through my bags on a large table, plastic here, cans there, brown bottles over there, and white glass over here.  He never writes anything down but when he’s finished, he spends a few seconds on a calculator and hands me a credit slip with my total redemption amount.

I was extremely skeptical when I first started using this facility and for the first five or six deliveries I pre-counted them at home just to check their counting procedures.  I never found an error.  The guy is freaking amazing but always accurate.  I made the mistake today of starting a spontaneous conversation to see if I could distract him or trip him up in some way.  We talked for approximately ten minutes while he scurried around sorting and checking the containers.  He never missed a beat and his count was right on. The downside was the actual conversation because Ryan is really passionate about bottles and he spent those ten minutes telling me how he counts bottles and then a few war stories about some of his more unusual customers and their quirks.

I was trapped like a rat and couldn’t escape.  He held me captive and talked about empty bottles until I just wanted to scream. OMFG!  I now know way more than I ever wanted to know about his career choice and why he had the best job ever.  I picked up my credit slip and got the hell out of there.

It was a smelly and disgusting experience but interesting in it’s own way.  As a former business professional I always appreciated people who were passionate about their jobs.  My good buddy, Ryan, was as passionate about his job as anyone I’ve ever met.  He loves his job and tries desperately hard to excel at it.  He actually tries to supply friendly and smiling customer service in an a garbage pile atmosphere which is amazing in and of itself.

I now know I can finally stop pre-counting my contributions because my bottles and containers are in good hands with Ryan.  My cat need never worry about starving because Ryan is on the job.

Posted March 24, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Just Saying

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2 responses to “03-23-2013

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  1. Anyone who has flown to the Left Coast on a clear day would know the recycling is a waste of time. We have enough landfill space for the 5000 years.

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