10-15-2013   1 comment

Good morning to all of you trivia nerds out there.  I’d ask how you did on yesterdays quiz but out of respect I won’t.  You’d need to be a major trivia lover to get more than four correct answers (in my humble opinion) to that bastard of a quiz. Just be thankful I’ve supplied you with  a little more useless information that may assist you in getting a few free drinks at your favorite watering hole.

* * *

1.  The Girl Guides.

2.  It turned up on a beach in San Francisco, 12 years later. Under the terms of the will, the lucky beachcomber who founded inherited half of daisies $12 million dollar estate.

3.  July 2. There are 182 days before it, and 180 days after it.

4.  Children’s Activities magazine.

5.  They were all redheads.

6.  Mother Teresa, India’s “saint of the gutter”.

7.  The Cooperative for American Relief Everywhere. When the group was first formed, the letters stood for Cooperative for American Remittances to Europe, and then the Cooperative for American Remittances Everywhere.

8.  871

9.  Jim Henson and Kermit the Frog.

10. It’s a pangram, it contains every letter in the alphabet at least once.

* * *

If you really and truly scored higher than a four drop me an email or comment to let me know.  You deserve some recognition for your amazing achievement. I think it’s time for a little humor to kick start your day.

How about a couple of limericks?  I’ll make them a little less dirty than usual. I wouldn’t want shock any of my more sensitive readers.

 

I once took our vicar to tea;

It was just as I thought it would be:

     His rumblings abdominal

     Were simply phenomenal,

And everyone thought it was me.

 

To his friend, Ned said, rather blue,

"My wife Edith just told me we’re through,

For she says I’m too fat."

And his friend told him that,

"You can’t have your cake and Edith, too."

 

One last joke.  Everyone should have at least one to take to work each day to astound and amaze their co-workers.  Being a former police office I especially appreciated this one.

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

HAVE A GREAT DAY

One response to “10-15-2013

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  1. Lmao, I love the joke! Haha, I totally want to try that.

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