Archive for the ‘difficult’ Tag

08-26-2015 Journal–Take a Good Look at Yourself!   2 comments

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The crappy weather continues here in Maine giving me an overabundance of reading time.   Recently I picked up a small book at a local church flea market for $.50 and as I began reading it I thought it would make an interesting discussion for the blog.

Half the fun of living your life is examining the hell out of it as you get older and hopefully smarter.  I know I’ve second guessed virtually every decision I’ve ever made in my life.  I always seem to have a better answer now than I had with the original decision.  Things I thought as a teenager and in my early twenties sound so stupid now it’s a little scary. 

This book’s all about difficult questions designed to make us think about ourselves and our decision making capabilities. There are no right or wrong answers but they will challenge your common sense and good=headedness.

Yes-No-Maybe

I’ll list 10 questions with my own answers below. If you’re interested after that then take a few minutes and jot down your own answers. I recommend that you do it together with your partner, significant other, or spouse. I’m sure that regardless of the answers they’re sure to spark a few interesting discussions about your differences.  Lets get started:

1.   If you could spend one year of your life in perfect happiness but afterward would remember nothing of the experience would you do so? If not, why not?

a. I think I’d pass on this one. If I couldn’t remember the happiness then it never really happened and what’s the point.

2.   If a new medicine were developed that would cure arthritis but cause a fatal reaction in 1% of those who took it, would you want it to be released to the public?

a. If I’ve done my math correctly that means that out of every million people treated, 10,000 would die.  That’s insanity and a big no from me.

3.   Would you accept $1,000,000 to leave the country and never set foot in it again?

a. That would be a big “Hell No”.

4.   Would you be willing to become extremely ugly physically if it meant you would live for 1,000 years at any physical age you chose?

a. No thank you. To me a thousand years of being terribly ugly would be worse than dying.

5.   If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would it be?

a.  I’d want the ability to speak and understand every language on earth.

6.   Would you accept twenty years of extraordinary happiness and fulfillment if it meant you would die at the end of the period?

a. No thank you.

7.   If the person you were engaged to marry had an accident and became a paraplegic, would you go through with the marriage or back out of it?

a. I must have loved that person very much or wouldn’t have wanted a marriage. It’s a commitment I’d honor completely.

8.   Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest?, as your close friend? , and as your lover?

a. Dinner Guest:  Any wounded veteran; Close Friend: Bill Gates; Lover: Rachael Hendrix.  The Close Friend and Lover could change at a moments notice because friends and lovers come and go.  The Dinner Guest would remain the same permanently.

9.   A good friend pulls off a well-conceived practical joke that plays on one of your foibles and makes you look ridiculous. How would you react?

a. I’d be a little embarrassed at first, laugh a little for a few minutes, and then begin planning some good old down-home REVENGE.

10. For $20,000 would you go for three months without washing, brushing your teeth, or using deodorant? Assume you could not explain your reasons to anyone.

a. No how, no way . . . . but I might reconsider it for $100,000.

BE AS TRUTHFUL AS POSSIBLE

10-24-2013   Leave a comment

It’s time for all of you sports experts out there to find out how well or how badly you’ve done? Here are the promised answers that I intend to memorize for my own uses in our local tavern’s weekly trivia contest.  One of these days these factoids will finally pay off and win me a beer or two or three.

* * *

1.  The referee’s yellow flag. Taylor said he felt he deserved it because the ref’s “ threw it against me”  often enough.

2.  Tennis, at the 1900 games in Paris. Charlotte Cooper of Great Britain was the first gold medalist.

3.  New York Giant knuckleballer week Hoyt Wilhelm, in 1952.

4.  Jim Thorpe, in 1970. He did it a second time in 1919. Deion Sanders was the second athlete to accomplish the feat 70 years later, in 1989.

5.  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with 4657. Other career records he holds include number of minutes played (57,446), points scored (38,387), and field goals scored (15,837). He played from 1969 to 1989.

6.  O.J. Simpson, who racked up 2003 yards for Buffalo in 1973, breaking the previous record of 1863 yards set 10 years earlier by Jim Brown.

7.  Five.

8.  The red brick tenement that was his boyhood home once stood on the site of second base at Cincinnati’s Riverfront Stadium.

9.  Rookie Willie Mays.

10. “Little Warrior”. O’Neal is 7’1" tall.

* * *

Here’s the obligatory joke of the day.  Those of us who are historically Microsoft customers will really appreciate this.

* * *

Microsoft vs. General Motors

A few years ago at a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

  1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
  2. Every time they repaint the lines in the road, you’ll have to buy a new car.
  3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
  4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
  5. Apple Inc. will make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.
  6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
  7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
  8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
  9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.  You’d have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

* * *

And finally for those of you that love limericks and beer, here’s a rather tame one proving once and for all that it’s possible for limericks to be funny without being too filthy.

There once was a girl named Ann Heuser,

Who swore that no man could surprise her.

But Pabst took a chance,

Found a Schlitz in her pants,

And now she is sadder Budweiser.

10-23-2013   Leave a comment

I think it’s a good day for another trivia quiz with questions about something of which I’m not all that familiar. As I’ve said many times before I’m not a huge sports fan but I do know that many of the readers of this blog are. With that in mind here are 10 fairly difficult sports trivia questions which should challenge even the best sports trivia fanatics.

As always I’ll list the correct answers tomorrow and you can see just how good you really are. I scored a big fat zero on this one. I hope you sports people can at least do better than that. Have fun.

* * *

1.  What souvenir did New York Giant linebacker Lawrence Taylor request from a referee after he played his last game in January 1994?

2.  What was the first sport in which women were invited to compete at the Olympics?

3.  What Baseball Hall of Fame pitcher hit a home run in his first major league at-bat and never hit another?

4.  Who was the first athlete to hit a major league home run and make a professional football touchdown in the same week?

5.  What basketball player racked up the greatest number of personal fouls during his professional career?

6.  Who was the first professional football player to run for more than 2000 yards in a season?

7.  How many baseball gloves can be made from one cow?

8.  Why did the Cincinnati Reds baseball team send an autographed second-base bag to cowboy movie star Roy Rogers?

9.  Who was scheduled to be the next batter when Bobby Thomson hit his famous home run in the 1951 National League playoffs, winning the pennant for the New York Giants?

10. What is the meaning of basketball great Shaquille Rashaun O’Neal’s given Islamic name?

* * *

As you can see I wasn’t kidding, they are tough questions. Check back tomorrow.

10-15-2013   1 comment

Good morning to all of you trivia nerds out there.  I’d ask how you did on yesterdays quiz but out of respect I won’t.  You’d need to be a major trivia lover to get more than four correct answers (in my humble opinion) to that bastard of a quiz. Just be thankful I’ve supplied you with  a little more useless information that may assist you in getting a few free drinks at your favorite watering hole.

* * *

1.  The Girl Guides.

2.  It turned up on a beach in San Francisco, 12 years later. Under the terms of the will, the lucky beachcomber who founded inherited half of daisies $12 million dollar estate.

3.  July 2. There are 182 days before it, and 180 days after it.

4.  Children’s Activities magazine.

5.  They were all redheads.

6.  Mother Teresa, India’s “saint of the gutter”.

7.  The Cooperative for American Relief Everywhere. When the group was first formed, the letters stood for Cooperative for American Remittances to Europe, and then the Cooperative for American Remittances Everywhere.

8.  871

9.  Jim Henson and Kermit the Frog.

10. It’s a pangram, it contains every letter in the alphabet at least once.

* * *

If you really and truly scored higher than a four drop me an email or comment to let me know.  You deserve some recognition for your amazing achievement. I think it’s time for a little humor to kick start your day.

How about a couple of limericks?  I’ll make them a little less dirty than usual. I wouldn’t want shock any of my more sensitive readers.

 

I once took our vicar to tea;

It was just as I thought it would be:

     His rumblings abdominal

     Were simply phenomenal,

And everyone thought it was me.

 

To his friend, Ned said, rather blue,

"My wife Edith just told me we’re through,

For she says I’m too fat."

And his friend told him that,

"You can’t have your cake and Edith, too."

 

One last joke.  Everyone should have at least one to take to work each day to astound and amaze their co-workers.  Being a former police office I especially appreciated this one.

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

HAVE A GREAT DAY

08-21-2013   Leave a comment

I scored a miserable nine on my first attempt.  Not terribly good but not a total disaster either.  As promised, here are the answers.

  1. Statler and Waldorf
  2. “I’ll be right back.”
  3. Kukla, Fran, and Ollie
  4. Roger Moore
  5. “Goodbye kids”, on the 2343rd-and-last episode of the popular kiddie show on September 30, 1960.
  6. 123 1/2 Sesame Street
  7. Robert Klein
  8. 4,531
  9. A policeman-it was a minor role.  The sketch was part of a 1950 Cavalcade of Stars Show.

10.  Yankee shortstop, Phil Rizzuto

11.  The Munsters

12.  “Love in Bloom”

13.  Julie Kavnar-formerly the awkward sister on “Rhoda”.

14.  The La Salle

15.  Soap

16.  Bruce Lee

17.  A pig named Arnold.

18.  Only one but the client was later proved innocent.

19.  Chip, Mike, and Robbie.   Mike moved away later and Ernie was adopted.

20. Trusty scout.

Bonus Question (Worth 2 Points): Victoria Principle’s The two feuded earlier, when Rivers was guest hosting on the Tonight Show.

Posted August 22, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Education, Trivia

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