04-12-2015 Journal–Carrot and Stick!   Leave a comment

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Today should be added the list of things we should be celebrating on a annual basis. I can’t think of a proper name for this observance so I’ll keep it simple since everyone has always told me to K.I.S.S. Today and on this day forever in this house it will be known as Better-Half Actually Cooking Breakfast Day.  For some unknown reason she’s decided to honor me today with my favorite breakfast.  Crispy bacon, sunny-side up eggs, rye toast, home made  jam, and a cup of hot steaming hazelnut coffee.  I’m not exactly sure what I did to deserve this but it’s such an unusual occurrence that it makes me a little nervous.

Relationships are difficult on the good days but after being together for an extended period of time it becomes possible to understand and anticipate your partner’s way of thinking.  Being the cynical and pragmatic person that I am I’m forced to think that something is up.  I know in my heart that a huge Quid Quo Pro is looming in my future.  What could it be? 

It can only mean something that I’ll  probably find distasteful or annoying. Something she knows I’ll not want to do unless she applies her own personal brand of leverage.  She cooks me a favorite meal and then I’ll get to wash and detail her car. That’s always been a good one but has she finally decided to expand her repertoire with something a little more original.  Maybe having me cook food for the people at the Lowe’s store to help in some kind of lame promotion or possibly something related to the grand children.  Many things involving them can be more than a little nasty and disgusting and I always try to avoid them at all costs.  The more I think about this the crazier the possibilities become.  I’ll eat this meal then sit down and wait for the other shoe to drop.

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Breakfast has come and gone and I found it uneventful.  I do have to say that the eggs were overcooked and not runny as I’d like them to be. She made a point of telling me before we sat down to take a specific plate because the eggs were more gooey on that one. The eggs on that plate were seriously overcooked and weren’t the least bit runny which translates to no dunking of toast into the yolk. I think her little bit of misinformation was intentional and telling. My best guess is that by cooking the eggs too long she was attempting in an obvious way to insure all future breakfasts will be cooked by me. I suppose you could call that a weird passive-aggressive ploy which unfortunately will probably work.  I wouldn’t want to get stuck eating over- cooked eggs and under-cooked bacon for the rest of my life so I’ll be forced to cook them myself.  She wins again.

I need to spend a little time thinking about this whole situation and to develop my own plan of attack to assist me in getting my own way once in a while.  It’s always been an uphill battle for us men in dealing with our women and I don’t see it getting any easier anytime soon.

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There’s no way for us men to ever completely win because while we have the stick the women have the carrot.  Life can be so unfair.

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