Archive for the ‘war between the sexes’ Tag

01/09/2023 “War of the Sexes”   Leave a comment

I’m a bit of a fanatic using quotes on many of my posts since I normally use them to further verify a point or opinion I’m trying to make. I’m a believer than even though many of the persons I quote are long dead, their opinions and thoughts are still valid. Human nature unfortunately doesn’t change all that much from one generation to another. Back in the day there were just as many annoying a-holes as there are today. The funny thing is they express their a-holeness in exactly the same way. This just further supports my use of them whenever I deem it necessary. Not all quotes are friendly and nice and there are just as many derogatory things said about damn near everyone as not. Let’s take a look at a few not so flattering quotes concerning men by a group of less than happy women.

  • “A man is a creature with two legs and eight arms.” Jayne Mansfield
  • “God created Adam. Then corrected her mistake.” Brooklyn Woman’s Bar Association
  • “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” Charlotte Whitton
  • “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Gloria Steinem
  • “I married beneath me. All women do.” Nancy Astor

  • “A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.” Anonymous
  • “The man is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.” Jilly Cooper, Cosmopolitan Magazine
  • “I require three things on the man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.” Dorothy Parker
  • “A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • “Adam came first, but men always do.” Anonymous

THE WAR OF THE SEXES CONTINUES

04-12-2015 Journal–Carrot and Stick!   2 comments

eggs1

Today should be added the list of things we should be celebrating on a annual basis. I can’t think of a proper name for this observance so I’ll keep it simple since everyone has always told me to K.I.S.S. Today and on this day forever in this house it will be known as Better-Half Actually Cooking Breakfast Day.  For some unknown reason she’s decided to honor me today with my favorite breakfast.  Crispy bacon, sunny-side up eggs, rye toast, home made  jam, and a cup of hot steaming hazelnut coffee.  I’m not exactly sure what I did to deserve this but it’s such an unusual occurrence that it makes me a little nervous.

Relationships are difficult on the good days but after being together for an extended period of time it becomes possible to understand and anticipate your partner’s way of thinking.  Being the cynical and pragmatic person that I am I’m forced to think that something is up.  I know in my heart that a huge Quid Quo Pro is looming in my future.  What could it be? 

It can only mean something that I’ll  probably find distasteful or annoying. Something she knows I’ll not want to do unless she applies her own personal brand of leverage.  She cooks me a favorite meal and then I’ll get to wash and detail her car. That’s always been a good one but has she finally decided to expand her repertoire with something a little more original.  Maybe having me cook food for the people at the Lowe’s store to help in some kind of lame promotion or possibly something related to the grand children.  Many things involving them can be more than a little nasty and disgusting and I always try to avoid them at all costs.  The more I think about this the crazier the possibilities become.  I’ll eat this meal then sit down and wait for the other shoe to drop.

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Breakfast has come and gone and I found it uneventful.  I do have to say that the eggs were overcooked and not runny as I’d like them to be. She made a point of telling me before we sat down to take a specific plate because the eggs were more gooey on that one. The eggs on that plate were seriously overcooked and weren’t the least bit runny which translates to no dunking of toast into the yolk. I think her little bit of misinformation was intentional and telling. My best guess is that by cooking the eggs too long she was attempting in an obvious way to insure all future breakfasts will be cooked by me. I suppose you could call that a weird passive-aggressive ploy which unfortunately will probably work.  I wouldn’t want to get stuck eating over- cooked eggs and under-cooked bacon for the rest of my life so I’ll be forced to cook them myself.  She wins again.

I need to spend a little time thinking about this whole situation and to develop my own plan of attack to assist me in getting my own way once in a while.  It’s always been an uphill battle for us men in dealing with our women and I don’t see it getting any easier anytime soon.

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There’s no way for us men to ever completely win because while we have the stick the women have the carrot.  Life can be so unfair.

04-14-2013   2 comments

There are a few things that are unavoidable in life.  Death and taxes come to mind but a few others are almost as unavoidable especially if you’re a man. I’ve been around longer than I care to admit and that in itself has inevitably forced me to closely study and attempt to understand the human female.  As hard as it is to believe, I’ve made very little progress.  On any given day I’m confronted with comments from women about guys “leaving the seat up” or “being difficult to talk to” and a host of other broad-brush criticisms. All I can do is smile a little, say nothing, and be amused by the fact they really don’t understand us either. 

Today was a perfect example.  I was asked along on one of her famous shopping excursions so I prepared as I always do.  I packed my e-reader, one book, and my camera.  This is the basic survival equipment required for these short local shopping trips.  I also have several other necessities I require for extended shopping trips that last more than three hours including but not limited to binoculars, a back scratcher, a pillow, and a a warm fuzzy blanket.  Being a former Boy Scout I’m still a big believer in the motto, “Be Prepared”. I need these things to keep me comfortable as I wait in the car in front of every Kohl’s, Target, Michael’s, and Wal-Mart. The alternative is go in and push a cart around for a mile or two and idiot watch. Do I get any credit for just keeping her company?  A big no. It’s always something like “you men, you never want to be with us. You just sit in the car and play with your toys”.  How’s that for gratitude?  I’ll have you know anything I own that cost me more than $400.00 is no freaking toy.  Sorry, it just had to be said but unfortunately only the men are listening.

I have a few other issues with women but no one seems to pay much attention to my thoughts and conclusions.  Simple stuff, like why does it take fifteen minutes to pull a car into the garage and get out.  I’ve timed my better-half many times and it’s never takes her less than ten minutes.  Gotta check the hair and the makeup (for some reason), then she goes through her bags (always carrying at least two), checks the back seat, glove compartment , and possibly her pulse and blood pressure as well.  Do I loudly criticize her for these things?  Not anymore.  I gave up even mentioning them years ago because it was a waste of time.  It goes in one ear and directly out the other.

What are my conclusions.  I have none.  But as a human male who is a long standing member of the Men’s union and a continuing target for female criticisms (valid or otherwise), I’ll keep trying to make sense of it all. 

A few juicy wisecracks immediately come to mind but today I’ll ne nice.  I won’t use them except in my own defense if she starts getting feisty when she can’t find clothes that will fit. I’ll do my best to convince her it’s not the fault of all the men in the world that she can’t fit her ass into a pair of jeans.  I guarantee you she won’t believe a word of it.

This is what I would call a text book example of what a women would consider a normal relationship.  They talk and we listen, just perfect.

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