06-15-2015 Journal – Death to All Skunks!   Leave a comment

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I’m still in bed this morning because it’s raining, I’m all warm and cozy, and I don’t wanna get up. The Spring season is slowly moving towards Summer and most of my ridiculous yard and garden related chores have been completed. Except for one.

I have to say that I’m still a bit irritated that I haven’t been able to put an end to my night marauder who is haunting my garden.  For some reason for the first time in years I have an effing skunk who has been undoing most of my good works in the garden almost every night. This fat bastard has been patrolling our property for some years without ever bothering the garden.  He apparently discovered an abundant supply of worms and/or grubs in the soil and has been digging for them furiously. The fact that he has killed many of my plants in the process is the source of my current anger.

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‘This isn’t him but it could be his twin brother.’

On top of it all this damn skunk is huge.  If he grows just a little more I could probably put a saddle on him and take a ride. He also has a habit of spraying anything and everything in his immediate area if bothered.  A year of so ago the neighbor’s cat had a midnight run-in with him which resulted in our backyard reeking of skunk for many days.  I really don’t want that happening again.

My secret plan was to sit on my deck with a pistol in my lap and hopefully put a stop to all of the night time nonsense.  I sat quietly the first night until 3 am reading my Kindle and maintaining a close surveillance of the garden.  It was a quiet night with no activity.  Then it began to rain which immediately chased me off to bed. I slept the sleep of angels knowing that the garden was safe for the night. What a moron I am.  I awoke in the morning and walked out to the garden and the place was a mess.  He’d been busy digging up tomatoes, cucumbers, and a number of pepper plants  and did it all in a driving rainstorm.  To say I was not happy would be a huge understatement.

I spent the next night on the deck armed, dangerous, and pissed off.  I never heard or saw a thing and the next morning more plants had been destroyed. That SOB is making me a little crazy.  I’ve since replanted all of the damaged plants and I’ll continue to monitor things as best I can and rid myself of this pest.

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I have a bad history withy skunks and as a young guy was known to hunt them. My father paid me and a friend a bounty for each one eliminated from damaging his garden.  The smell of skunk still makes me a little queasy since I was sprayed one hot summer evening in 1962. I was on my knees looking under a shed for an escaping skunk and BAM, he was right there and sprayed me across the side of my head.  Be warned, that is not something you ever want to experience.  I was forced to shave my head by my mother and wash it thoroughly numerous times with tomato juice.  Nothing really worked very well and for more than a month every time my head got wet or sweaty you could smell skunk.  A lost a few friends that summer.

With any luck at all before summer’s end I’ll soon be posting a photo of his corpse.  He’s mocked me long enough and now it’s personal.

My Rule #6 – Don’t screw with my garden, or else.

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