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I’ve never been one to load up the bumpers of my vehicles with the pearls of wisdom contained on bumper stickers. I’ve had more vehicles than I can remember and the only bumper sticker I ever put on one of my cars was in 1975. It read, HONK IF YOUR HORNY, on the back of my beautiful orange Gremlin. That being said I still love reading them on the cars of others. Here are a few that decorated vehicles during the late 20th century.

CAUTION, I DRIVE JUST LIKE YOU

SORRY, I DON’T DATE OUTSIDE MY SPECIES

NOT ALL DUMBS ARE BLOND

I DON’T BRAKE FOR PEDESTRIANS

IF YOU LIVED IN YOUR CAR, YOU’D BE HOME BY NOW

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS’ MISTAKES, USE BIRTH CONT ROL

EAT WELL, STAY FIT, DIE ANYWAY

MY WIFES OTHER CAR IS A BROOM

INSTANT ASSHOLE, JUST ADD ALCOHOL

BEER ISN’T JUST FOR BREAKFAST

HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, THINKS SLOWEST

BE CAREFUL – 90 PERCENT OF PEOPLE ARE CAUSED BY ACCIDENTS

DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE – YOU MIGHT SPILL SOME

I’M NOT A COMPLETE IDIOT – SOME PARTS ARE MISSING

HONK IF YOU’VE BEEN MARRIED TO ELIZABETH TAYLOR

SEVEN SHOPPING DAYS LEFT