Archive for the ‘fun’ Tag

09-04-2016 Journal – Big Easy-3!   Leave a comment

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Day two began with a walk through the French Quarter to the Toulouse Docks where the steamboat Natchez was moored.  My better-half has always wanted to ride the Mississippi River in an old steamship and we made that happen. We signed up for a three hour river cruise (hopefully better than Gilligan’s) that would take up south on the river through the busy port of NO. It was a brunch cruise and we had a great meal sitting on the main deck with a fantastic view of NO and the river.. It had been fully restored and was just like you would expect it to be minus the gambling tables and card cheats.

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One of the m0ost interesting sights was the massive amount of damage caused by Katrina.  There were huge section of docks and buildings that had been totally destroyed in the storm and had yet to be repaired or replaced.

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On the upper deck we checked out the gift shop and of course the bar. Their specialty drink was the Jazz Punch which was delicious and wickedly alcoholic. I wanted to have a second one but wasn’t sure I could off the boat without injury.  The views were incredible.

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We made a U-turn an hour later and proceeded back north to NO which was a sight to behold from the middle of the river.

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Another great day of relaxation to help us prepare for day three of the vacation.  Day three was on the top of my wish list and it meant an airboat and trip into the bayou’s.

HOPING FOR LOTS OF GREAT PHOTO’S

 

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08-31-2016 Journal – The Big Easy!   Leave a comment

Well, my better-half and I arrived home last night after spending 6 glorious days in the party capitol of the USA . . . New Orleans.  If I disregard our god awful experiences with Jet Blue then we had a great time.  It’s been a number of years since I visited NOLA but I was thrilled to see that it was the same old exciting place that I remembered.  The evidence of Katrina’s visit eleven years ago has been all but erased.

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I grabbed this shot from their website because mine was blurry as hell.

I booked our hotel in an off-the-beaten-path location located in the old creole section of NO on Burgundy Street, 2 blocks north of Bourbon Street. The St. Pierre hotel was once the NO Jazz Museum but has since been converted into an hotel.

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It consists of a group of 150 year old creole homes joined together with small intimate courtyards and swimming pools hidden from street view.  If you ever visit there you need to know this is not the Hilton or Weston style of hotel.  This is an old building with 150 years of character and an 1850’s atmosphere.  We loved going native for a few days and would do it again in a heartbeat.

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This pool was 30 feet from our room. This is the view looking down from the balcony.

The weather was typical NO. It was 90 plus degrees all week with never less than 80% humidity. It was feel-like temperature of over 100 degrees.  Even though the heat was brutal that pool made it bearable. We visited it twice a day to cool off and have a drink and meet people from all over the world who were also staying there. Just fabulous.

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Another view of the courtyard from our balcony.

This posting is just the start of our trip. I’ll probably continue posting on our other activities for the next week or so. There was a lot to see and maybe I can give you a little taste of how it felt to be there.

IT WAS AN INCREDIBLE WEEK BUT WE’RE GLAD TO BE HOME.

08-02-2016 Journal – Adventures in Babysitting!   1 comment

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Have you ever had the pleasure of watching the movie, Adventures in Babysitting?  I’ve loved that movie for years but living through the actual thing isn’t quite as satisfying. This past week has been an adventure for sure.

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I’m officially awarding my better-half my version of the Medal of Honor.  She was the main caregiver for two short and lovable little terrorists. I was involved as well but to a lesser degree and thank God for that. Just picture the situation. Both parents left on vacation and were off to LA LA Land. It was the first time that the two boys aged 1 and 3 were separated from their parents and someone had to pay and it was us, the grandparents. OMG!

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My better-half may need a week or more to recuperate because they absolutely wore her out, took a short nap, and then wore her out again. She has the patience of a saint but I do not. She made a point of getting me involved as much as she possibly could and I’ll never let her hear the end of that. They drove me to the edge and when I wasn’t looking they kicked me into the abyss.

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Diapers, noise, fighting, throwing stuff, and that was on the good days. I never thought I’d see the day when a one year old maniac would bean me with a toy truck as I sat and watched Alvin and the Chipmunks with his big brother for the umpteenth time. I know it’ll take weeks to get that damn theme song out of my head again.

 I never realized that walking from my bed to the bathroom in the middle of the night could be so treacherous.  It was like trying to tiptoe through a Lego minefield. I’m sure the pain in my foot will fade in a few weeks and I really do believe I look pretty cool walking with a slight limp.

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Thank God their parents returned home last night and my better-half did what could be called a family drive-by.  Drive to their home, dump the kids, jump back into the car and escape. I had a cold beer waiting for her and our living room had been cleared of most of the debris left in their wake.  Two huge sighs of relief and a much needed moment of silence to thank the Gods this week was over.

We slept in this morning, had our delicious cups of coffee, and paused to enjoy the quiet.  All in all the week was a success with no injuries, sicknesses, or fatalities.  I saw my cat this morning and unfortunately he may have been traumatized permanently.  We’ll have to wait and see about that.

IT WAS A GREAT WEEK

07-19-2016 Journal – An Amusing Park!   Leave a comment

In my last post I took you on a tour of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. You got to see the beaches full of people, a friendly bar to hangout in, and a cute bikini clad girl buried in sand.  I hope you didn’t think that covered our entire visit because there was much more to it.  Today I’ll take you along on our continuing tour that includes my better-half’s favorite spot.  Welcome to the Amusement Park.

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Doesn’t look like much from the outside but . . .

The Arcade while not my favorite place is always interesting.  Tourists from just about anywhere flock to this place to throw their money away or to just drop off their kids for a few hours.  Where else can you win tickets for doing just about anything and at the end of your day you’d  have spent forty bucks to win enough tickets to buy a pack of gum.  My better-half is for some reason a Skee Ball addict. She insists on throwing her money away, winning a fistful of tickets, that she ends up giving to some kid who happens to be standing around picking his nose. It’s always puzzled me and I fear it will continue to do so.

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Who can resist all of this fine looking merchandise?

Never let it be said that I’m immune to the attractions of this park.  I was once again drawn to a booth where I was permitted to spend five bucks to throw two tiny bean bags at some under inflated balloons. Being a former Little League baseball player I was stunned when I actually broke two of those stupid balloons and won my honey this glorious and somewhat ridiculous prize.

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Who doesn’t love a cuddly little frog?

Once again I became a willing victim of all the hype that’s constantly spewed by this park. It seems to happen every time I visit here and stranger still, I don’t mind at all.

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I’m so excited by all the hubbub in an amusement park I actually feel kind of bad that I’m not permitted to ride these stupid rides.  As a young kid I was too short to ride them and now all these years later I’m too tall and plump to fit in them. There’s just no justice in this world.

FORTUNATELY . . . IT’S ALL GOOD FUN!

OUR SUMMER CONTINUES!

07-17-2016 Journal – Beach Day!   Leave a comment

My better-half was able to sneak away from work a little early yesterday making it possible for us to make our first visit this summer to Old Orchard Beach, Maine, the ultimate tourist trap.  The weather was sweltering at our house but when we arrived at OOB there was a beautiful ocean breeze that was grand. The beach looked beautiful and it was loaded with visiting tourists.

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The only place to stay cool for a few hours.

I love just walking around and people watching when I stumbled on this young lady wearing the required bikini I always look for. It was too bad she decided to stay buried in the sand.

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What’s a trip to the beach without our mandatory visit to the Surf 6 bar. It’s located directly adjacent to the beach just a hop, skip, and jump from the water. I should also mention the excellent mojitos and margaritas that are available.  As always laced with some excellent Patron tequila. OLE!

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We took a nice walk along the beach just as the sun was setting. The cool water felt damn good our poor overheated and sweaty feet.  It was heaven.

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All in all it was a lot of fun and we are planning more of these outings over the next month. The food was delicious, the water was cool, the drinks were icy cold, and the people watching was the best.

SUMMER WILL CONTINUE

 

 

 

 

 

 

06-29-2016 Festivals & Farmer’s Markets!   Leave a comment

Is it just me or has June zoomed by in a flash. I’ve always considered the Fourth of July as the summer’s half-way point but I can’t believe that half of the summer is already gone. That is supremely depressing. A few days ago I mentioned in a post that my better-half and I had visited the Brunswick, Maine Strawberry Festival.  I sort of glossed over that visit for some reason but after rethinking things I decided to throw a few pictures your way. Check these out.

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The town of Brunswick is rather quaint and the park located in the downtown area is just beautiful.  The perfect place to take your kids on a sunny day, to quietly read a book or to walk your dog.

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It’s called the Strawberry Festival but it’s much more than that as you can see. Farmers from all over the area come to town loaded with fresh vegetables of all types.  It’s a giant farmers market and they offer some really delicious foods as well.

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I’m a former cheese addict who has been forced over the years to reduce the amount of dairy I eat.  It still won’t stop me from sampling a few tidbits of excellent goat cheese when I happen upon it.

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Many of the farms also sell canned pickles, jams, and jellies. They are a bit pricy but you’ll never find any fresher or as flavorful in a supermarket.

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I was more than a little surprised at all of the available vegetables this early in the summer.  We look forward to visiting many more of these festivals in the coming months. There seems to be one scheduled every weekend somewhere in Maine until Labor Day.

A GREAT START TO OUR SUMMER

06-11-2016 Journal–Things I Luv (Revised)   Leave a comment

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In the past I’ve posted lists of things I love and hate. Most of them were done to be humorous or at least tongue-in-cheek.  Today I thought it might be nice to list just ten things I really love.  I tried to do it seriously without attempts at humor but it’s difficult.  These are in no particular order except for the first item which if it showed up lower on the list I’d be a dead man.

  • My Better-half (Always first or else.)
  • My Stupid Cat (He wanted to be #1 . . . Sorry!)
  • Peace & Quiet
  • My Mental Strength
  • Losing myself for hours while creating anything. (Quality Time)
  • Sleeping Naked (Best thing since potato chips were invented.)
  • A Really Good Margarita (Or a Mojito)
  • Growing Anything
  • Eating soup
  • A really dirty joke or limerick.**

** I need to offer up some samples of this item or I just wouldn’t feel right about things.  These limericks and jokes  are “R” rated so if you’re offended by that kind of humor stop reading now.

Limerick #1

There was a woman named Lucille

who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill

they found her vagina in North Carolina

and bits of her tits in Brazil.

Limerick #2

There was a young man from Brighton

Who thought he’d at last found a tight ‘un.

He said, "Oh my love,

It fits like a glove."

Said she, "But you’re not in the right ‘un."

Limerick #3

A gay young man from Khartoum,

took a lesbian up to his room.

They argued all night,

as to who had the right

to do what, with which and to whom.

Joke #1

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

Joke #2

The scene, a newly wed couple on the first night of their honeymoon just before the passionate lovemaking was to begin. The wife tells her husband, "Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How’s that even possible? You’ve been married three times before." The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was…oh, do I ever miss him!"

So much for my lame attempt at a little dirty humor. I just felt the need to be off-color this morning. I wonder why?

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ENJOY YOUR DAY

03-15-2016 Journal – Sex & Julius Caesar!   2 comments

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‘Gaius Julius Caesar’

Today is the day every year that I remember good old Julius Caesar. The Ides of March will forever be known as an evil day  thanks to him and all of his so-called friends. Stabbed twenty-three times upon arriving at his work place at the Curia he was left to die alone on the sidewalk. It just goes to show how far we’ve come as a society because these days we’ve made some major improvements on how to murder someone.  If Caesar was to be murdered today it would be by two hooded gentlemen driving by in a mini-Fiat firing a couple of Tech-9’s at him. He’d still be just as dead but it would have been  done so much quicker and efficiently.   So for today “All Hail Caesar”.

Now let’s move onto something almost as interesting as a dead guy. SEX!  I’ve been on a roll in recent weeks with trivia postings because I love trivial facts.  I also love sex so it only seems right that I offer up some sex related information.  Here goes nothing.

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  • The average size of an erect penis measures between 5 and 6 inches, while the average size of a flaccid penis is about 3.5 inches.
  • Many of the ingredients in chocolate are proven to cause arousal similar in effect to sexual foreplay. In fact, some experts believe chocolate may be even more effective than foreplay for sexual arousal.
  • Historical records show that even in 1850 B.C., women attempted to practice birth control. The most common method was a mixture of crocodile dung and honey placed in the vagina in the hopes of preventing pregnancy.
  • Although nearly any body part or item of clothing may be an object of sexual fetishism, the shoe and the foot are the two most common fetishes in Western society.
  • Just a decade ago, only 25% of women reported experiencing orgasm as a result of intercourse. In recent years, this number has risen to about 45%. In contrast, over 80% of women report experiencing orgasm though oral sex.

It’s no wonder I’ve been addicted to chocolate my entire life. Instead of foreplay just gobble down a handful of M&M’s and get busy. Also I will verify that feet can be sexually arousing. I’ve been a foot lover since day one and damn proud of it. And last but not least to both men and women I say “Hooray for Oral Sex” and “Boo!” to crocodile dung and honey. Yuck!

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  • The vibrator, a common sex toy for women, was originally designed in the nineteenth century as a medication to combat the anxiety-related symptoms of “hysteria” (now known as menstruation).
  • Throughout the United States, approximately 4% of the population self-identifies as gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
  • During 30 minutes of active sex, the average person burns approximately 200 calories.
  • On average, adult men think about sex every seven seconds.
  • Approximately 1% of people worldwide identify as asexual (having no strong sexual attraction to either sex).

I think about sex every seven seconds? I might have to disagree with that fact. I think it’s way more often that that. Ask any guy!  If I recall my basic facts on weight loss it takes a reduction of approximately 2000 calories to lose a pound of weight. If that’s true then having intercourse ten times would also work.  I’m sure you could lose a lot of weight doing it that way but you might miss a few days of work here and there.

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  • Statistics suggest that approximately one in every five Americans has indulged in sex with a colleague at work.
  • Approximately 70% of people in the U.S. admit to fantasizing about group sex at some point in their life, and more than 50% of those people actually follow through.
  • One report states that 48% of women have faked an orgasm at least once in their life. Interestingly, an identical 48% of men also report faking an orgasm at least once.
  • Since AIDS was first diagnosed in 1981, more than 25 million people have died as a result of the virus. Two million people died from AIDS in the year 2007 alone.
  • Statistics show that approximately 90% of men and 65% of women masturbate from time to time.

Group sex appears more popular than I thought. The masturbation numbers were surprising. I thought you women out there were keeping up but I guess I was mistaken. Shame on all of you, so get to work ladies.

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This is my favorite tidbit and could possibly explain my obsession with wine. After I drink enough of a favorite Chardonnay my behavioral responses can get pretty interesting. Especially if I eat a huge chunk of chocolate along with it. LOOK OUT!

  • Both men and women can be turned on by the aromas of wine. The scents of many wines are believed to replicate human pheromones, the chemical substances that cause behavioral responses in humans.

HAVE A HAPPY IDES OF MARCH

2-26-2015 Journal – Goodbye X-mas!   Leave a comment

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‘Before’

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‘After’

I’m exhausted.  This morning I’m feeling exceptionally lazy and with little or no effort I could stay in bed all day. This is truly the downside to Christmas if there is one.

Yesterday’s celebration took a lot of thought and planning from both my better-half and me. It was worth every minute we spent preparing.  Everyone had a great time, received an abundance of gifts, and ate until they couldn’t eat on more thing. 

It all began with what I’m sure will become an ongoing Christmas tradition. Everyone received a goody bag and in the top of each bag was a can of Silly String.  It took just a few seconds for the adults to open the cans and let the strings fly. The grandkids weren’t familiar with Silly String and were pretty much covered with it before they could get their cans opened. It was the perfect way to set the tone for the day even though the cleanup took a little longer than we thought.

Two hours later the room was filled with torn tissue papers, ribbons, empty boxes, and a lot of laughter. As you can see Christmas is a messy proposition if done properly.

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‘I think there’s a kid under there somewhere.’

Then it was into the kitchen to complete the food preparations and to get that big fat bird ready to eat.  The meal went without a hitch and we all left the table fat, dumb, and extremely happy. As we vegged out in the living room it was time for viewing everyone’s favorite Christmas movie, A Christmas Vacation.  Since almost everyone in the family has the best lines memorized we could have turned off the sound . . . but we didn’t. Then began the continuous stream of funny and sarcastic comments about the movie which were endless.

I was one of the first to call it a day but my better-half wasn’t far behind. It was a great day for everyone concerned and I’m sure they all slept as soundly as we did.

I hope your holiday was as enjoyable as ours.  Now it’s on to New Years with all of it’s silliness. 

Hey! . . . someone! . . . where’s my coffee?

11-04-2015 Journal – The Last Warm and Sunny Days!   Leave a comment

Well for the first time in over a year I missed a day I had  scheduled for blogging.  I’m as surprised as you are but that old adage of “sh*t happens” happened. I normally post on one day then workout the next and so on and so forth.  I  became a bit confused and distracted and lost track of the days when our out-of-town visitors were here. It wasn’t until after they left that I realized my error.  So enough of that, let me get on with things.

We had such a good time with our visitor’s I’m not sure where to begin. We spent one afternoon in Kennebunkport doing some shopping and having dinner at Federal Jack’s restaurant.  A couple bowls of clam chowder and a plate of fried clams were followed by massive platters of fish and chips. Wash that all down with a couple of incredibly excellent Goat Island Light beers and your good to go.  So we went.

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‘The best fried clams ever.’

The tourists have all fled southern Maine leaving the towns somewhat deserted as reflected by these photo’s:

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‘In season.’

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‘Off season.’

Federal Jacks just happens to be located directly above the original Shipyard brewery. Of course it’s mandatory with my better-half to complete any trip to Kennebunkport with a stop there too.  It’s her own private Hajj.

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A fun time was had by all. The food was delicious and the beer cold and refreshing.  We took a slow leisurely ride home through Kennebunk where the streets were clogged with parents and costumed children enjoying their Halloween night festivities.   We arrived home safely and enjoyed a good night’s sleep. 

My next post will be day #2 of their visit where we spent a good part of that day playing tourist in the city of Portland. 

We’re in the midst of one beautiful Indian Summer and we all hope it lasts all the way to Thanksgiving.