Archive for the ‘gay marriage’ Tag
I thought I’d write a little about marriage today. Seeing as how more marriages fail than survive, it makes one wonder what’s the point. Even knowing it only has a 50/50 chance of success doesn’t seem to stop people from jumping right into a relationship that’s complex and difficult on it’s good days. Even the massive effort by members of the gay community to legalize marriage truly puzzles me. I sometimes think it’s just a way for them to feel like the rest of us, married, miserable, and alimony and child support eligible.
As an officiant in a wedding more than a year ago I had my eyes opened even further about weddings and their preparations. The wedding I was involved with was a down-to-earth, simple, and beautiful one. No thousands of dollars spent on a one-time dress, no catered meal, no huge hall, or any of the more stupid things like releasing doves. It was elegant and beautiful. Does that give that marriage a better chance of success? I doubt it.
The number of cottage industries that have originated to feed the marriage expectations of millions of people also boggles the mind. Event planners, depending on the wedding size, make much more money for their services than some weddings cost. As we all know some people spend many thousands of dollars on what everyone considers an institution with terrible odds of succeeding. That’s a kind of gambling most people would never attempt, not even in Las Vegas.
That being said, in my efforts to better understand I found myself wandering the highways and byways of the Net looking for information of this holy of holy experiences (I hope you know that was sarcasm). Some people have made the decision to have a humorous wedding. Why? I have no clue. I suppose humor might make taking the plunge a little less terrifying. Here are two examples of some of the new and funny vows (again sarcasm) to help lighten up the ceremony:
I (name), take you (name), to be my beloved wife. I promise to love you and be your faithful partner, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, when the Jets are winning, and when they are losing, in sickness, and in health, and in Jets-induced sickness. I will be true and loyal, and cherish you for all the days of our lives.
I take you as my wife to have and hold, love and cherish, to honor and mostly obey. I promise to make you number one in all of my life’s biggest decisions. While I don’t promise not to make you mad, I promise to apologize…when I think it’s my fault. I want nothing more than a long and happy life together. Do you?
I can’t imagine asking someone to marry me and have them take the entire thing so lightly as to use vows like that. Here are a few quotes about marriage that really are funny and insightful. Not fake funny like those stupid vows.
"Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, "What will you have, sir?" And I said, "A glass of hemlock." ~ Ernest Hemingway
"Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out." ~ Michel de Montaigne
"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility." ~ Leo Tolstoy
"My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked." ~ Winston Churchill
"There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again." ~ Clint Eastwood
"I tended to place my wife under a pedestal." ~ Woody Allen
"Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet." ~ Mae West
I could write ten thousand more words on marriage, the traditions, and the ever increasing costs. But because it would push me into a major depression I refuse to do it. You can thank me later. I’ve been through the marriage ringer myself and after nineteen years we failed miserably. So maybe my comments and sarcasm are reflective of that awful experience. Even so, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s a risky proposition on it’s best day. To all of you heterosexuals and homosexuals I wish you the best. Those marriages that truly work are the best thing that can happen to two people in love with each other. If it doesn’t work it can also be the most traumatic nightmare ever and haunt you for years.
Good luck to you all. My best advice is to elope to Las Vegas. Save yourself a trip to bankruptcy court (no sarcasm in that statement).
With cold and snow still dominating the landscape for at least another month it gives a person a great deal of time to think about this and that. Today is the day for marriage to be thought about and examined. I like millions of others have been married and divorced and suffered with the accompanying emotional damage. Nineteen years of memories I would love to remove from my memory banks except for a few months of actual happiness.
I was raised by parents who dated from when they were in their teens. They lived a few blocks from each other and were inseparable as teens until my father enlisted in the Navy during WW II. I always thought their marriage was a happy one because we (my sister and I) were protected from certain things. My father later in life made me privy to a number of incidents and occurrences that brought them close to divorce and I wished he had me told me those things earlier. They might actually have helped me through some rough times in my own marriage. It was only my mothers religious beliefs concerning divorce and a fear of community and family ridicule that kept them together.
Marriage can be a wonderful thing but when it doesn’t work it a freaking nightmare. Yet millions of people still believe that they are the exception to the rule and continue to jump into what at best is a fifty-fifty proposition. A normal thinking person would almost never gamble their money on those kind of odds but are immediately willing to jump into a legally binding relationship which has a better than average chance of failing.
In the past it was ingrained in children that marriage was the ultimate goal with having kids, a mortgage, and the proverbial white picket fence. Here are a few more recent facts obtained from the Pew Research Center that begin to show just how much that has changed in recent years.
-
The ratio of new marriages to divorces is 2 to 1 (Marriages and Divorces).
Total Marriages showed a sharp drop in 1998 and after a brief rebound, continued to trend down.
-
The population of unmarried women will soon surpass the number of married women. This indicates a rejection of the Divine Institution of Marriage by the general population.
-
The number of Unmarried Couple Households (live-in) is increasing steadily.
-
Children living with only one parent have increased from 9% in 1960 to 27% in 2009. Of those 87% of the children live with the mother.
-
Previous marriage experience plays a big role in whether people want to get married (again) or not.
These facts indicate that the drop in the marriage rate is due primarily to people believing that marriage is more of a problem than a solution. Apparently people these days are deciding in greater numbers that the marriage gamble isn’t worth the risk. The emotional damage coupled with the financial ramifications to both partners has taken some of the shine off of the marriage apple.
I’m currently unmarried and that will never change. I’m sharing my life with my soulmate which was always the most important thing to me. Marriage never supplied me with much of anything except a piece of paper. Living together has surprisingly given us a great deal of freedom in that we are both free to leave at any time with no divorce nonsense as a consequence. We are together because that’s what we both want. I actually find myself working harder to keep our relationship peaceful and loving like never before. It was like the marriage document itself put undue pressure on me, both emotionally and financially.
I wish the gay community all the best in their efforts to marry legally. As I’ve said many times before why should they miss out on all the benefits of marriage. Arguing, fighting, cheating, financial problems, divorce, alimony, and child support. They must be crazy.
Well, we survived the “Storm of the Century” and I thought I was home free and clear. I should have known better than to think I could sneak by for a week or so without something or someone irritating the hell out of me. With a great many people without power I thought I’d be safe from those annoying individuals calling or sending me emails about the upcoming election. Wrong again. The phone calls began as soon as the rain stopped and the power was back on; “Vote yes for gay marriage”, “Vote no for gay marriage”. The TV bombardment hasn’t stopped either and will continue until the election has come and gone.
Yesterday a stranger shows up at my door telling me that gay marriage is a threat to the foundation of this country and I must vote against it. I couldn’t believe my ears. What a lame ass argument to try and use on me, an actual informed and thinking American voter. This is just another attempt at propagandizing from the religious right and all of their special interest groups. Needless to say I sent her packing with a tidbit of my advice to help her along, “Get a freaking life”.
I’ve written on this subject before but I guess it bears repeating. To qualify myself, I’m independent, extremely conservative, and a well informed citizen. I can’t even begin to understand this whole gay marriage argument and the idiocy I’ve been hearing about it. Freedom apparently no longer applies to you in this county unless you belong to the right religious or political group. Certain groups are spending millions of dollars to argue a point properly made by the founding fathers and later confirmed by President Lincoln. Freedom you morons! Any color, any religion, any sexual preference, anything at all. We’re all FREE citizens with the same goddamn rights.
How did it happen that so many people have forgotten why and how this country came into being. Live and let live. Freedom for all, not just for those who agree with you. Shame on all of you who are fighting against others who are simply requesting that their freedom be honored.
Everyone in this country is in a huge “shit and sweat” over the Muslim’s and their outrageous religious beliefs. I see almost no difference in this gay marriage argument. It’s a group of organized religions attempting to force their beliefs on a portion of the population who isn’t interested. America was founded initially on a desire for religious freedom and also I might add to protect people from religious fanatics with an agenda. I hate to admit it but the biggest problem in this country isn’t the economy, it’s too many people trying to tell to many other’s how to live their lives. The government is relentless enough without help from a bunch of frightened religious types who are defending marriage with apparently no clue as to what a real marriage is.
There haven’t been many times I’ve found myself embarrassed to be an American, but this is one of them. Shame on all of you.
everyuselessthing.com 