MALAPROPS: A variety of verbal miscues from Grade

School, High School and College Examinations.

• Johan Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on the old spinster which he kept up in the attic.

• The government of Athens was Democratic because the people took the law into their own hands.

• Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.

• People have sex, while nouns have genders.

• The American colonists won the Revolutionary war and no longer had to pay for taxis.

• The bowels are A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y.

• He worked in the government as a civil serpent.

ISN’T EDUCATION WONDERFUL?

• A horse divided against itself cannot stand.

• The climate of the Sahara desert is so hot that certain areas are cultivated by irritation.

• Charles Darwin wrote The Organ of the Species.

• When a baby is born, the doctor cuts its biblical chord.

• The Greeks invented three kinds of columns: Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic.

• Brigham Young led the Morons to Utah.

THANK GOD I NEVER TOOK UP TEACHING