Archive for the ‘little league’ Tag
I discovered over the years that the older you get the more reminiscing you do and I’m still not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’ve always been a believer of worrying about the future not the past and that hasn’t changed a whole lot. I’ll be turning 78 years old in August of this year and I’m amazed. I never thought I’d live this long because of my rough and tumble attitude towards living. As I was reminiscing about my long and somewhat interesting life I wondered, what some of the other people that I read about deal with their aging after the age of 70. I always jokingly told anyone who’d listen that after 70 I would retire, sit on my porch with a drink, and smoke as much weed as I could get my hands on until I passed on. Little did I know that I’d be buying my cannabis at a convenience store in gummy form. One of life’s many miracles. I thought a little reflection on my current lifestyle should be matched against some of our more famous or infamous celebrities.
Age 70
Socrates is condemned to die for corrupting the minds of Athenian youth.
Me: I made dozens of bottles of wine, and then spent a few months drinking them.
Age 71
Nelson Mandela was released from a South African prison, after 20 years of incarceration.
Me: Completed a few graphic paintings of scantily clad buxom young women. Then I drank some more wine and sat and looked at them. And yes, I still do.
Age 72
The Marquis de Sade takes a new, 15-year-old lover.
Me: I looked for a 15-year-old lover but forgot why.
Page 73
Walt Stack completes the Ironman Triathlon in 26 hours, 20 minutes.
Me: I did 1000 steps in one day, and my faithful Fit Bit was so amazed it exploded.
Age 74
Albert Einstein announces his unified field theory (but it didn’t hold up).
Me: Drank more wine, contemplated some of my erotic paintings, and worked hard trying to remember the names of the models.
Age 75
Fanny Garrison Villard founds the Women’s Peace Society.
Me: I founded and celebrated the Maine chapter of the Jack Daniels Fan Club. I also considered making a Hag to their distillery in Tennessee.
Age 76
Charles Foster Kane, of Citizen Kane, whispers his immortal, confounding clue, “Rosebud”.
Me: I decided after rereading Citizen Kane that I needed a lot more Jack Daniels. It’s the only way to defend myself against the boredom of Orson Welles and his writings. Little did he know I once had a fat little gerbil named Orson who never really bored me at all.
Age 77
Grandma Moses takes up painting in a serious manner.
Me: After 16 years of my so-called retirement, I bought a lot more weed and a case of a really good Chardonnay in preparation for the start of our three grandson’s 2024 Little League debuts.
LIFE CAN BE GOOD – IF YOU LET IT
Can this non-sports fanatic make the grand announcement today? The New England Patriots rolled down the old NFL drain last night against a team from somewhere in Colorado. Not that I really care all that much but it really succeeded in turning my better-half into an insane basket case. We have a agreement on nights when these games are scheduled. She moves to the upstairs family room to yell, scream, and cheer on whatever teams she thinks she supports. I remain downstairs watching whatever I please on Netflix well out of reach of the denigrating influences of professional sports.
‘Ugly Sports Fans?’
I’m not entirely sure where along the way I lost all interest in almost every kind of sporting event. I played many different sports as I grew up and was pretty damn successful in all of them. I had a lot of natural ability and I knew if I became good enough I might just get laid occasionally. Why women and girls are drawn to sports figures is beyond me but it’s a fact of life.
‘Oversized Sports Fan?’
The only sporting events that even remotely interest me these days is the Little League World Series and it’s accompanying playoffs. It’s much more honest and upstanding than what professional sports has turned into. Money is power and absolute power corrupts absolutely . . . so welcome to professional sports. Don’t forget the performance enhancers, steroids, the lying, the dishonesty, and the too many to count criminal indictments.
‘Oversexed Sports Fan?’
I even lost interest in the Olympics decades ago. Patriotism be damned. The political overtones became a constant turn off and I now make a point of religiously avoiding any and all events on any network related to the Olympics. The point of the Olympics originally was to promote a non-violent means for countries to compete and to develops a better understanding of each other. Just think about it for a minute and you’ll realize just how much of a failure that has been. Take a look back to Munich and ask the Israelis what they think about it.
‘Rainbow Coalition Sports Fans?’
Over the last few years I’ve even been forced to give up my small addiction to talk radio. The airways are now dominated by the two things which make my blood curdle, sports and politics. Listening to sports experts 24/7 is akin to having your teeth drilled near the nerve with no Novocain. Even worse than sports are the endless shows of talking heads who claim some sort of expertise and understanding about all things politic. Of course their political views directly coincide with their networks agenda and the possibilities of career advancement if they agree to prostitute themselves and tow the company line.
Welcome to life in the good old U. S. of A. here in 2016.
everyuselessthing.com 