Archive for the ‘winter’ Tag

03-25-2016 Journal – Organizational Arrogance!   Leave a comment

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Have you ever had your credit card information stolen by someone?  I have.

For the second time in a year my bank sent me a notice that I’m being issued a new credit card because mine may have been compromised.  No explanations as to how or when or why, just shut up and do it. I hate pushy people, pushy governments, pushy companies, and now this pushy bank.  Ordering me to change cards without giving me the specifics seems to be a tad arrogant. If it’s just a preventative measure then tell me that. I don’t appreciate being treated like a moron child, being ordered around by a know-it-all parent. That may have worked when I was five but trust me, I’m no longer five.

I allow these people the privilege of using my money to make money for themselves but this Big Brother attitude pisses me off. It seems to be the way of things these days especially with the government and Big Business. They see us as a pack of slobbering idiots who need their hands held to make any sort of decision.

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Now I get to spend a couple of hours today on the Net changing my credit card numbers on a myriad of websites.  I suppose I shouldn’t complain since they are allegedly protecting my money and accounts but talking down to me is unacceptable.

Over the last five years I’ve had my information stolen twice when unauthorized purchases were made in Canada and Europe. Throw in two changes of debit cards (because of hacked companies) and three new credit cards (for unexplained reasons) and OMFG what the hell is going on. If you’re doing something to benefit me all that’s required is a simple explanation. I guess it’s too much to hope for in these days of big government and big business arrogance. They’re too busy to deal with the feelings of the “great unwashed”.

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I sometimes wonder whether it would be worth it to remove myself from the grid entirely and go back to writing checks and mailing payments. Is simple convenience worth all of this grief and aggravation?  I don’t want to get too crazy but maybe it’s time for some common sense to enter into my approach to the Net, my use of credit and debit cards, and banking in general. I need to think on it for a while longer and try to come up with some good solid solutions to this nightmare.

I’d ask the bank for help but they’d just replace all of my cards once again and send me that condescending form letter as well.

THE BIGGER THE ORGANIZATION, THE LESS THEY CARE.

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03-23-2016 Journal– Some Dirty Humor!   Leave a comment

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Today is what will probably turn into a do-nothing, boring, day of reading, and not much else.  We’re still caught in between seasons here in Maine which means the weather is all screwed up and annoying. The snowfall from our recent storm is 90% gone but it’s still awfully cold at night. It’s just cold enough to require heavy clothing that makes you begin to sweat as soon as you put it on. Then you remove it to cool down, get cold, and put the clothing back on and sweat some more. It’s no wonder everyone seems to be suffering either from colds or any one of many flu viruses that seem to be going around.

I’ve spent the last few days at home and only leaving the house for wine or food emergencies. All that means is if I’m short on wine and my favorite foods I will brave the cold and crappy weather regardless. Minor errands or stupid shopping forays are not what I consider an emergency no matter what my better-half tells me.

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While I’m thinking about that here are a few dirty jokes to brighten your day. We’ll start with a bar joke. Everyone loves a good and dirty bar joke.

  • A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "I am." The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."

Having worked for a few retail companies over the years I thought a little retail humor was warranted. I looked for years trying to find a salesman like this.

  • A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow." I’ll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today? The kid says, "One". The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says, "$101,237.65 ". The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4×4 Expedition." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?" The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot, you should go fishing.’"

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This joke goes a long way to explain how long term marriages seem to work.

  • Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes ballistic, "You impotent bastard! How could you lie to me all these years?" Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids….."

You Think A Gallon Of Gas Is Expensive? This little list makes one think, and may put things in perspective:

Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 $ 9.52 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 $10.00 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 $10.17 per gallon
Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 $10.32 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 $25.42 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 $33.60 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 $84.48 per gallon
Pepto-Bismol 4 oz $3.85 $123.20 per gallon
Vick’s Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 $178.13 per gallon

And this is the REAL KICKER . . .
Evian water 9 oz $1.49 $21.19 per gallon!
$21.19 FOR WATER! . . . and most buyers don’t even
know the source. But then again "EVIAN" spelled
backwards is "Naïve."

HAVE A GREAT DAY

03-21-201 Journal–A Day in the White Mountains!   Leave a comment

I’d just like to send out to Mother Nature a big huge kick in the butt. I awoke this morning to her latest gift . . . 6 inches of snow with more expected. I think it’s just her way of letting us know who’s really in charge around here.  So I spent this morning getting the snowblower out of storage, gassing it up one more time, and clearing the driveway again. Dammit!!

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I much prefer to talk about our day trip yesterday which was much nicer than all this crappy snow today. We took a ride west into New Hampshire to the foothills of Mt. Washington.  It was a cold and sunny day which made for  a great drive.  We were headed once again to North Conway, NH known for it’s many cool little shops and outlet stores. Here a photo looking down Maine Street towards Mt. Washington.

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The town was packed full of visitors and every store and shop was crowded. A little sunshine goes a long way in helping to open purses and wallets. I actually opened mine for a change and did my part to help the local economy.

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After walking a few miles and looking at damn near everything we decided to stop for lunch at a restaurant called Horsefeathers.

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Their menu had a lot to offer but I always lean towards seafood whenever possible.  The better half had a great crab and cheese sandwich and loved it. I ordered some super garlicky mussels and this was all that was left a short time later.

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The food and drinks were terrific and we returned to the car fat, dumb, and happy.  All of our purchases were loaded up and as we drove down Main Street towards home this was what I saw in my rearview mirror. Just a beautiful area.

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I can’t wait to return later in the summer to make the trek to the summit of Mt. Washington. We’ve done it before because the view will take your breath away. If I remember correctly on a clear day you can see five states from up there and parts of Canada as well.

JUST A GREAT DAY TO SHAKE OFF THE WINTER DOLDRUMS

03-11-2016 Journal–Condoms and Pregnancies!   Leave a comment

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I was seriously thinking about writing a political rant today but after giving it a little thought (10 seconds) I decided against it.  While many agree that the political campaigns this year are more interesting than usual I just don’t care enough to write about them.

With that anti-political statement completed I changed over to topics that have always interested me more than politics . . . . condoms and pregnancies.  I’ve compiled some stats from people like Planned Parenthood and others in my attempt to get at some truth.  Lets start with a little condom trivia.

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Percent of teenagers who claim to use condoms. – 60 %

Total number of condoms sold in the U.S. each year. – 450,000,000

Percent of couples who use a condom consistently and regularly that get pregnant. – 2 %

Percent of teen girls who used a condom the first time they had sex. – 68 %

Percent of teen males who used a condom the first time they had sex. – 82 %

Condom use by adolescent men during their past 10 vaginal intercourse events. – 79.1 %

Condom use by adolescent women during their past 10 vaginal intercourse events. – 58.1 %

Sexually active teens who reported using a condom along with birth control the last time they had sex. – 20 %

Percent of sexually active women with a partner who used a condom. – 93 %

Average cost of a single condom – $0.45

Percent of high school students who are taught how to correctly use a condom in their health class. – 39 %

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It’s fairly obvious that there is a lot of sex going on and condom use is much higher than I thought.  Next of the agenda is the percentage of condoms sold by Company.

Condom Brand Market Share
Percent

Trojan
69 %

Durex
15 %

Others
16 %

Trojans annual advertising budget – $33,600,000

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Condom use has increased over the years yet people still say they don’t like to use them. Here’s the long and short (no pun intended) of condom use.

Total Number of U.S. Women in their childbearing years. – 62 million

Percent of women who get pregnant while on the pill. – 6 %

Percent of people who rely on male condoms that do not get pregnant. – 85 %

Total percent of U.S. births that are from mothers younger than 19. – 10%

Total Number of U.S. women in childbearing years that use some form of contraception. – 62%

Among those who don’t use contraception, 31% are pregnant, trying to get pregnant, postpartum, sterile or not sexually active. The other 7% take their chances. Among those using contraceptives, here’s what they use:

Contraceptive
Percent Used

The Pill
28%

Sterilization
27.1%

Condom
16.1%

Vasectomy
9.9%

IUD
5.5%

There you have it.  Everything you ever wanted to know about condoms and their use but were afraid to ask.  Overall people don’t like using condoms but the alternatives are much too scary to deal with or even think about.

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So all of you sexual active animals out there, keep slipping them on and being sexually responsible and smart. One small personal opinion from me on female condoms. They are ridiculous. I wrestled with them enough times to know I’d sooner spend my valuable pre-entry time putting on a Ziploc bag.  What a nightmare. By the time you get it properly placed the lust has dissipated, the erection is gone, and you’ve missed five minutes of the first quarter.

BUY CONDOM STOCKS, YOU MAY GET LUCKY AND MAKE MONEY TOO.

03-9-2016 Journal – Return to the Garden!   Leave a comment

It’s 4am and my insomnia has me sitting in a comfortable chair, drinking a hot coffee, and reading one of my favorite authors, John Sanford, and enjoying his finest character, Lucas Davenport. The Prey series is 25 novels that are as well written as any I’ve ever read. If you like murder mysteries you should pick up some of these and just sit back and enjoy.

For the first time I finally have the complete series on my Kindle and I’m reading them in the order they were written. It’s now 730am and I just finished "Certain Prey", book number 10 in the series. I’m still not sleepy but I think it might be the four cups of coffee I’ve already had today. I’ll read one chapter of the next book “Easy Prey” and then I’ll get my day started.

The weather forecast is for warmer than usual temps with some sunshine thrown in for good measure. I’ll be outside in the garden shortly to begin the winter cleanup of my garden. I need to repair some minor damage to the fence which I caused last Fall and then a remodel of the frames surrounding the rhubarb patch.

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‘Remove the old frame.’

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‘Discard the old wood.’

I made my first Lowe’s trip for 2016 yesterday to pickup some pressure treated lumber. This was the first of many more trips I’m anticipating.  I ‘ll take a few photos today just to begin the documentation of  the garden for this year. I keep good records of all of my mistakes and failures so I never repeat them again accidently.

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‘Replace with the new lumber.’

It’s now 900am and my main chore has been completed. I tore out the old nasty lumber, expanded the rhubarb area , and rebuilt it with new PT lumber.  The job was much easier than expected because I happily discovered that the ground had thawed during the last few weeks of warmer weather. Hooray for me.

I know I’m jumping the gun a little with this garden work but it just feels so good to breath some fresh air and to get my hands a little dirty.

03-07-2016 Journal – SPAM!   Leave a comment

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SPAM . . . I’m not sure who coined that term for unwanted emails but it truly is an insult to such a delicious meat.  As we all know you can’t spend much time on the Net without finding yourself inundated with SPAM. I always thought I was careful about filling out forms or taking stupid surveys, a sure way to get your name out to the spammers. I’ve come to find out that I failed miserably.

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Six months ago in a moment of boredom I was sitting at my computer looking for something to do. Absentmindedly I inquired of a well known mortgage company about some of the new government programs. To say the least that was a huge mistake that I’ve been paying for ever since.  Over the last six months I’ve had to unsubscribe from an endless number of websites for every product currently known to man.

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I spend a few minutes of each day unsubscribing the current batch of SPAM with assurances that in a week I’ll have been eliminated from their call lists. The torrent of sites is finally down to less than two or three a day but overall it has totaled more than four hundred in the last six months.

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I’ve tried to backtrack many of them to a source I could contact and threaten to no avail. It’s been a frustrating effort with no one to take my frustration out on.  I’ve known a lot of people over the years but I’ve never met anyone who would admit to being a spammer. People will admit to being drug dealers before admitting to spamming. At least the drug dealer is selling a product and not simply harassing and endlessly annoying hundreds of thousands of people.

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‘Just so you know this is the good SPAM.’

I’ll keep trying to discover one person I can take out my anger on.  I could easily be persuaded to violence against anyone who has the balls to stand in front of me and admit to spamming.  It would be worth a few days in the local county jail for assaulting that someone and I suspect there isn’t a jury anywhere that would convict me. Everyone hates spammers and that might be the reason those bastards keep themselves so well hidden.

As they used to say on Hill Street Blues

"Be careful out there."

03-03-2016 Journal – Blondes Rule?   2 comments

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Is it just me or do blondes get a bum rap (no pun intended) in this country.  I’ve known my fair share of blondes over the years and I don’t feel good about making general assumptions on their intelligence or lack thereof.  It still amazes me just how much effort is put forth by our society to create bad jokes and ridiculous stories about the proverbial “dumb blondes”.

I will admit I’ve laughed long and hard (no pun intended) about certain blondes and repeated some really hilarious jokes along the way.  I’ll continue to do that today because I’m just a guy, standing in front of you, repeating a joke about a cute but naïve blonde girl.  That was my lame attempt to co-op a Julia Robert’s quote from Notting Hill.  It apparently didn’t work but what follows will.

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Joke #1

A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, "I don’t have that kind of money but I’d do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!"

The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?"

"Yes, anything" the blonde promised.

With that, the man said, "Follow me" He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door" She did.

He then said, "Get on your knees" She did.

Then he said, "Take down my zipper" She did.

He said, "Go ahead…take it out" She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well… go ahead!"

The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly "HELLO…..MOM???

* * *

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Now here’s two interesting but true facts about our blonde friends.

  • In the urban west, one out of three women has blonde hair; only one in twenty is a natural blond.
  • Sixty-two of the world’s richest men are married to brunettes, twenty-two to blondes, sixteen to “raven haired” women, and none to a redhead.

* * *

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Joke #2

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the drop-dead gorgeous blonde driver was.

"I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’am…. could I see your driver’s license…?" "What’s a license???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

"It’s usually in your wallet," replied the officer.

After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop."Registration….. what’s that?" asked the blonde.

"It’s usually in your glove compartment," said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I’ll be back in a minute," said the cop and walked back to his car.

The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman’s license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back; "Ummm…. is this woman driving a red sports car?"

"Yes," replied the officer.

"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher. "Uh… yes" replied the cop.

"Here’s what you do," said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants.""WHAT!!? I can’t do that. It’s….. inappropriate," exclaimed the cop.

"Trust me….. just do it," said the dispatcher.So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.

The blonde looks down and sighs, "Oh no … not ANOTHER breathalyzer."

* * *

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Joke #3

A guy spent the day walking around town looking for a job. He finally walked into an adult store. "Do you have any work for me?" he asked the owner.

The owner smiled and responded, "You come as if you have been sent from heaven. I just opened another store and I’m looking for someone to mind this store for me."

"When do I start?" the guy asked.

"Now. I’m leaving for the other store shortly." The owner explained all the ins and outs and then left.

First to enter the store was a Caucasian woman. She walked around and stopped at the dildo rack. "How much for the white dildo?"

"Forty dollars," he said.

"How much for the black dildo?"

"Forty dollars."

"Give me the . . . uh, black one. I’ve never had a black one before." She paid and left.

Soon an African-American woman walked in. She too walked around and stopped at the dildo rack. "How much for the black dildo?" she asked.

"Forty dollars."

"How much for the white dildo?"

"Forty dollars."

After thinking a moment, the woman said, "Give me the . . . uh, white one. I’ve never had a white one before." She paid and left.

Then a blonde woman walked in. She walked around and stopped at the dildo rack. "How much for the white dildo?" she asked.

"Forty dollars."

"How much for the black dildo?"

"Forty dollars."

"And how much for the checkered one on your counter there?"

"Two hundred dollars."

"Give me . . . uh, the checkered one. I’ve never had a checkered one before." She paid and left.

Closing time came around and the owner returned. "How was your first day?"

"Great!" the guy responded. "I sold a white and a black dildo for forty bucks each, and I sold your thermos for two hundred."

* * *

I’ll put an end to this post with a few one liners you might appreciate. They are a bit off color but I know that’s what you’ve really been waiting for anyway.  These jokes are a special dedication to the blondes living in the state of Ohio. I could explain further but I’ve already said too much. My life could already be in danger because they’re a vicious and horny bunch. Just saying!

Q: How do you know if a blonde has been on your computer?

A: There is lipstick on the joystick.

Q. What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?

A. Humpme Dumpme.

Q. What’s the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal?

A. One’s a busy ditch.

As a public service you should all be aware that no blondes were injured during the writing of this post.

03-01-2016 Journal–Looking Back–March 1st!   Leave a comment

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Being a history buff has been a lifelong pleasure for me.  I’ve always believed that individuals and governments have much to learn from their past mistakes and by studying those mistakes can improve their future circumstances. With that in mind I thought I’d step back in time to review and pass on to all of you a few interesting factoids  on notable occurrences for March 1.

Some of you may find these items interesting and others not so much.  My better-half will more often than not just roll her eyes and then turn up the volume of the music she’s listening to when I start spouting historical facts.   I guess I can’t please everyone all of the time but I’ll keep trying.  Here we go.

This Day In History – March 1st

1954 U.S.A. – US tests hydrogen bomb in the Pacific archipelago of Bikini, part of the Marshall Islands. 

1961 U.S.A. – President John F. Kennedy establishes the Peace Corps as a new agency within the Department of State.

1932 U.S.A. – The Lindbergh baby is kidnapped when stolen from his crib at the family estate in Hopewell, New Jersey, 

1936 U.S.A. – The Hoover Dam ( Boulder Dam ) is completed and turned over to the U.S. government. It supplies hydroelectricity, irrigation and fresh water to homes in California and Nevada. 

1941 U.S.A. – Nashville, Tennessee becomes the home of the very first FM radio station in the country. While the FM band had less static and more range, it didn’t become popular until the early 1960s.

1954 U.S.A. – Five U.S. congressmen were shot and injured during a House session today when Puerto Rican spectators who yelled "Free Puerto Rico" fired shots into the United States Capitol building.

1962 U.S.A. – On this day, 95 people were killed in a plane crash that occurred along the South shore of Long Island, New York. The irony of it all is that this plane crash happened after the end of a long stretch of bad weather (rain and fog) that had continued for about a week-on a clear day. 

1966 Soviet Union – An unmanned Soviet probe called Venera 3 crashes on Venus in the pursuit of the conquest of space.

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1971 U.S.A. – The radical left organization Weather Underground  bombs the United States Capitol on March 1, 1971. A bomb was placed in the senate wing causing $300,000 damage and no injuries. 

1972 Syria -  This was one of the significant days of the attack by Israel against the Arabs. The Israeli army launched attacks against Arab Guerrilla camps that operated in southern Syria at this time. Fighting back and forth continued on at different times after this until the present day. 

1973 Sudan – The Palestinian terrorist group Black September storm the Saudi Arabian embassy in the Sudanese capital Khartoum, taking diplomats hostage. ( This was the same terrorist organization that murdered nine Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics). 

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1978 Switzerland -  The coffin of Charlie Chaplin was stolen from a small, unguarded village cemetery in Switzerland . 

1997 U.S.A. – Massive flooding occurred throughout the state of Kentucky with thousands left homeless and more than 50 people dead. 

2002 U.S.A – The possibility of water still existing on Mars was made known. According to NASA, a spacecraft called Odyssey had detected it on this planet.

2005 U.S.A. – Dennis Rader, accused of leading a double life as the BTK ( Bind, Torture and Kill, ) serial killer, was charged in Wichita, Kan., with 10 counts of first-degree murder between 1974 and 1991.. (Rader later pleaded guilty and received multiple life sentences.) 

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2007 U.S.A. – A series of 55 Tornadoes strike the southern United States that began in Kansas on February 28th, 2007 and included Alabama and Georgia, the tornadoes leave 20 dead with the worst effected area being Enterprise, Alabama where a section of the Enterprise High School was destroyed during the middle of the school day killing 8 and injuring many more. 

2008 Afghanistan -  Prince Harry who was sent secretly to Afghanistan with his regiment in December at his request  is forced to return to Britain following the American website, The Drudge Report, making his deployment public. 

2008 United States – People have been watching the naming of the warship that was built from parts of the steel salvaged from the World Trade Center. The families of the 9/11 victims were among the thousands of spectators at the naming of the U.S.S. New York, in Avondale, Louisiana. The bow contains 7.5 tons of steel taken from Ground Zero. It bears a shield with two bars to symbolize the towers, and a banner with the slogan “Never Forget”. The New York is an amphibious landing ship with a crew of 360, and complement of 700 marines. 

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‘Never Forget’

2012 United States – Thursday, 1st March, 2012 : The suspected gunman, TJ Lane, in a deadly school shooting will face charges as a juvenile in the US state of Ohio. Lane was suspected of killing three students and wounding two at Chardon High School.

There’s your history lesson for today. Whoever said that March was a slow winter month was badly mistaken. Just ask Julius Caesar.

02-28-2016 Journal – Deadly Statistics!   Leave a comment

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What are two things that most people think about every day.  My best guess would be death and sex. With that thought in mind I decided to supply you all with a list of global statistics  about many things but mainly death. Many of these numbers are current up to and including today. Some of the information is shocking and some is simply unbelievable.

Global Death Rate

Statisticians have calculated the "mortality rate" for the world to be roughly .883 percent.  This means that 1 out of every 113 people in the world died last year.

World Population:

  • has reached 7 billion on October 31, 2011
  • is projected to reach 8 billion by 2024
  • has doubled in 40 years from 1959 (3 billion) to 1999 (6 billion)
  • is currently growing at a rate of around 1.13 % per year
  • growth rate reached its peak in the late 1960s, when it was at 2%
  • growth rate is currently declining and is projected to continue to decline in the coming years
  • average annual population change is currently estimated at over 80 million
  • world population will reach 10 billion persons in the year 2056

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As of Today

"This year" = from January 1 (00:00) up to now

"Today" = from the beginning of the current day up to now

"net population growth" = births minus deaths

145,641 Births today

60,991 Deaths today

22,888,972 Births this year

9,585,278 Deaths this year

84,650 Net population growth today

13,303,694 Net population growth this year

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Technology

37,472,003 Computers produced this year

2,092,893 Cellular phones sold today

$ 74,559,389 Money spent on videogames today

3,316,866,142 Internet users in the world today

82,805,119,987 Emails sent today

229,774,292 Tweets sent today

1,711,619,570 Google searches this year

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Health

1,621,694,128 Overweight people in the world people in the world

1,731,966,562 Water consumed this year (million L)

134,660 Deaths caused by water related diseases this year

661,570,850 People with no access to a safe drinking water source

Natural Resources

Quick Facts: Barrel = 42 Gallons = 159 Liters

31,340,762 Oil pumped today (barrels)

1,158,647,387,197 Oil left (barrels)

13,793 Days to the end of oil (~38 years)

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Miscellaneous Deaths

1,215,470 Deaths of children under 5 this year

54,974 Deaths of mothers during birth this year

268,816 Deaths caused by HIV/AIDS this year

1,313,313 Deaths caused by cancer this year

156,851 Deaths caused by malaria this year

Alcohol/Drugs/Smoking

5,659,200,051 Cigarettes smoked this year

799,386 Deaths caused by smoking this year

399,945 Deaths caused by alcohol this year

171,477 Suicides this year

215,859 Road traffic accident fatalities this year

$ 63,971,038,394 Money spent on illegal drugs this year

How’s that for a quick and dirty summary of the human race.  Chaos, death, destruction, confusion, and life goes just keeps rolling along.

IT’S MUCH MORE FUN TALKING ABOUT SEX

02-26-2016 Journal–Turkeys, Art & a Dirty Joke!   Leave a comment

This winter weather here in Maine remains fickle. Fifty degrees one day, then fog the next, ten degrees the third day, and freezing rain and black ice the next.  I’ve pretty much given up listening the the forecasters because they apparently don’t have much of a clue either.

With February almost gone we’re within six weeks or so from seeing winter start to fade away.  Overall it’s been one of the better winters since I moved to Maine. Temperatures were mild up until Christmas and we’ve only had one snow storm worth mentioning.  Without a doubt the best part is how much money we’ve saved on home heating oil.  Warmer temperatures and a serious drop in price from $3.40 a gallon to a $1.35 have kept a smile on our faces all winter.  We’ll probably end up saving between five and eight hundred dollars in heating costs this season.

We took a ride through the surrounding area last week just to see what was happening.  As always here in Maine we stumbled on wild turkeys a number of times.  With most of the snow cover already melting they’re able to feed in more locations than usual.  Here they are . . .

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Maybe they’re the true harbingers of Spring and not that dumbass gopher in Pennsylvania.

With the rediscovery of my creative juices I’ve been working on two projects steadily for the last week.  I’ve finished one and in another few days I’ll finish another.  I won’t post too much of either until they’re both complete.  Here’s a shot of a two square inch portion of the first. It’s a little strange but that’s how I roll.

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Just for a laugh I thought I’d send out a truly tasteless joke.  It made me laugh out loud for some reason but it’s sure to irritate a few of the ladies out there. That’s too bad . . . but here it is anyway.

A women went to apply for a job as a truck driver. Not too keen on the idea, the personnel manager for the trucking company said, “You have to be pretty tough to cut it as a truck driver, you know.”  I’m tough, I really am,” said the eager applicant. “Well, do you smoke and drink?” “Yes of course.” “Do you cuss a lot?” asked the interviewer. “You bet you asshole, “ said the woman. “I cuss like a lumberjack.” “So have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”  “Well, no,” she admitted, “but I’ve been swung around by the tits a couple of times.”

Please no moaning . . . everyone needs a dirty joke once in a while even if it is a little corny.

C’MON SPRING