Archive for the ‘criminals’ Tag

01-25-2016 Journal – I Unheart Sports!   Leave a comment

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Can this non-sports fanatic make the grand announcement today? The New England Patriots rolled down the old NFL drain last night against a team from somewhere in Colorado.  Not that I really care all that much but it really succeeded in turning my better-half into an insane basket case.  We have a agreement on nights when these games are scheduled.  She moves to the upstairs family room to yell, scream, and cheer on whatever teams she thinks she supports.  I remain downstairs watching whatever I please on Netflix well out of reach of the denigrating influences of professional sports.

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‘Ugly Sports Fans?’

I’m not entirely sure where along the way I lost all interest in almost every kind of sporting event.  I played many different sports as I grew up and was pretty damn successful in all of them. I had a lot of natural ability and I knew if I became good enough I might just get laid occasionally. Why women and girls are drawn to sports figures is beyond me but it’s a fact of life.

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‘Oversized Sports Fan?’

The only sporting events that even remotely interest me these days is the Little League World Series and it’s accompanying playoffs.  It’s much more honest and upstanding than what professional sports has turned into.  Money is power and absolute power corrupts absolutely . . .  so welcome to professional sports. Don’t forget the performance enhancers, steroids, the  lying, the dishonesty, and the too many to count criminal indictments.

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‘Oversexed Sports Fan?’

I even lost interest in the Olympics decades ago.  Patriotism be damned. The political overtones became a constant turn off and I now make a point of religiously avoiding any and all events on any network related to the Olympics. The point of the Olympics originally was to promote a non-violent means for countries to compete and to develops a better understanding of each other.  Just think about it for a minute and you’ll realize just how much of a failure that has been. Take a look back to Munich and ask the Israelis what they think about it.

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‘Rainbow Coalition Sports Fans?’

Over the last few years I’ve even been forced to give up my small addiction to talk radio.  The airways are now dominated by the two things which make my blood curdle, sports and politics.  Listening to sports experts 24/7 is akin to having your teeth drilled near the nerve with no Novocain. Even worse than sports are the endless shows of talking heads who claim some sort of expertise and understanding about all things politic.  Of course their political views directly coincide with their networks agenda and the possibilities of career advancement if they agree to prostitute themselves and tow the company line.

Welcome to life in the good old U. S. of A. here in 2016.

10-21-2013   2 comments

I’ve spent most of my adult life working with an odd assortment of people.  I was an investigator in the Army which required me to interrogate people who spoke little or no English through an interpreter.  A difficult task at best since many times the interpreter only knew enough English to get by.  Years later as a police officer I was introduced to a host of criminal types, drug users, child abusers, and perverts.  The first and most important thing during those interviews and interrogations required a reasonable knowledge of the  subjects motivations and state of mind.  For the most part it was an interesting and emotionally draining experience.

I had an excellent rate of success in my endeavors because I was able to develop a quick rapport with my subjects in a very short period of time.  This remained the case through more than ten thousand interviews conducted in the years just prior to my retirement.  I felt I had the ability to interrogate, interview, and understand anyone regardless of the situation.  I was flexible enough to adapt to their way of thinking, find the problem, and fix it with a minimum of effort. Was I over confident?  I didn’t think so at the time but I do now. 

I finally met my match recently when I was dropped into a situation that befuddled me.  I had little or no experience with young children and when my step-grandson was born my education in dealing with people took a strange turn.  He communicates with his world of adults during this first year without language.  He uses hand gestures and a collection of facial expressions to get his messages across which continue to puzzle most of us.  He’s within a month or two from actually speaking understandable words and he’s currently babbling a constant stream of unintelligible nonsense.  It appears to make some sort of sense to him but leaves us adults dazed and confused.

My best chance of understanding him will occur once he decides to start saying something I can understand.  I decided to do a little more research into the mind set of a very young person who has no apparent life experience to draw from. How tough can it be I asked?  Where do I start?  I found the following article while surfing the Net and as soon as I read it I knew it held the answers I’d been looking for.  A simple and brief list of how the mind of a very young child is motivated and feels about the things and people around them. The list is funny but without a doubt as close to the truth as I could find. See what you think.

1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I’m doing or building something, all of the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it
    automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.

I’m going to post a copy of this list on my frig and read it as many times as necessary each and every time the little guy pisses me off or does something inappropriate.  This list explains everything in a way even I can understand.  Be patient, no screaming or yelling, and no punishing for things he doesn’t yet understand.  Just stand back and gently guide him in the direction we want him to go.  They’ll be plenty of time later for guidance and instructions once he can talk and reply.  Being able to speak and ask questions will make things  so much easier for us both (I hope).

Being the first born grandchild in a family is a nice place to find yourself.  I was the first born grandchild in my family and I milked it for all it was worth with my grandparents. I’m about to experience the whole thing again but from the opposite perspective. It should be interesting.

09-01-2013   Leave a comment

Not being a huge football or sports fan has distinct advantages for me.  I can ridicule any team at any time for any reason and I do as often as I can.  It’s difficult because so many people admire, desire, and worship these football heroes (I use the term loosely) that they’ll attack anyone who isn’t awed by the mere sight of them.  My hero worshiping days were short lived after all of the scandals: cheating, lying, steroid use, and criminal activities.  No more sports heroes for me thank you very much.  I’ll stick to the real heroes, our servicemen and women who sacrifice so these hulks can make millions of dollars and be praised by the masses.

Here are a few notable quotes, past and present, by some of those sports heroes.  Thank God all of their colleges found a way to help them graduate.

* * *

Shaquille O’Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can’t really remember the names of all the clubs that we went to."

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season…"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Joe Theismann

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for four years, not Princeton."

Shaquille O’Neal, on his lack of championships: "I’ve won at every level, except college and pro."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team’s 7-27 record: "We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. As general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play."

Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."

Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn’s football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.’ "

* * *

What more needs to be said?  The more they insist on standing up and talking to the media the more material I’ll have for postings like this.  Keep close tabs on your sports programs for those pregame, half-time, and post game interviews.  They’re almost as entertaining as the games.

07-13-2013   Leave a comment

Earlier this week I spent some time ridiculing attorneys and criminal witnesses as to their unbelievable stupidity.  I wouldn’t want anyone to think for a minute that my posting was meant to be malicious, just funny and ridiculous.  I thought today I would include in my musings the behavior of really stupid criminals who make their attorney’s look like geniuses.

You have to admit that people who choose a life of crime aren’t too bright to start with.  The following stories are actual tales about actual stupid criminals arrested within the last few years.  You just can’t make this stuff up.  Many years ago in my rookie year as a police officer my partner told me some valuable words of police wisdom. Since he was my training officer and had almost twenty-five experience on the job I listened intently.  His philosophy about police work was this, "If it wasn’t for the stupid fucking criminals we’d never catch anyone."  Here’s a few of them that were caught.

  • A stupid thief pled guilty to the attempted robbery of a convenience store in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. The thief told a passerby he was going to rob the store, gave the man a dollar, and asked him to go inside and buy a scarf to help him hide his identity during the crime. The bystander took the dollar, went inside the store… and called the police.
  • During a high school break-in in Plymouth, North Carolina, two really stupid burglars found a camera in one of the classrooms and amused themselves by taking pictures of each other committing the crime. When they couldn’t figure out how to get the film out of the camera, they concluded it wasn’t loaded and left it behind. The men apparently didn’t realize they’d been fooling around with a digital camera that allowed police to downloaded the snapshots to a computer and got a complete photographic record of the break-in. The suspects were quickly arrested.
  • A woman reported her car stolen and mentioned there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the telephone and told the moron that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and was interested in buying the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
  • A dumb ass criminal on trial for drug possession in Pontiac, Michigan, said he’d been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn’t need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher’s jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five minute recess to compose himself.
  • A 21 year old idiot, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer felon-location equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for identification. He gave them his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later he was arrested because information on the screen showed a two-year-old armed robbery warrant from St. Louis, Missouri.  A huge dumb ass.

What did I tell you?  I guess my old training officer was right on the money with his advice.  Some things are just wisdom for the ages.

07-11-2013   Leave a comment

For most of my working life I’ve had the misfortune to work with hundreds of attorneys.  Some great, some good, some average, some incompetent, and some just plain stupid.   As the overall number of attorney’s increases the likelihood of hiring an incompetent or dumb attorney increases as well.  My job working in state government for seven years placed me in an uncomfortable position directly between the accused defendants and a small army of public defenders. Talk about a rock and a hard place!  A thankless job to be sure but OMG did I get an education.  I think I actually learned more from the criminals than from their representatives.

I also was exposed to hundreds of witnesses whose sole purpose was either to help  free an accused or to put him/her away for as long as possible.  The only common denominator I found throughout the judicial and correctional systems was a massive amount of DUMB.  These following quotes are actual statements between attorneys and people called to the witness stand in a plethora of criminal matters.  Enjoy them and be glad they aren’t representing you.

Attorney: Did you ever sleep with him in New York?
Witness: I refuse to answer that question.
Attorney: Did you ever sleep with him in Chicago?
Witness: I refuse to answer that question.
Attorney: Did you ever sleep with him in Miami?
Witness: No

Attorney: What is your date of birth?
Witness: July 15.
Attorney:. What year?
Witness: Every year.

Attorney: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Witness: I forget.
Attorney: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?

Attorney: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Attorney: What did the tissue samples taken from the victim’s vagina show?
Witness: There were traces of semen.
Attorney: Male semen?

Attorney: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a disposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
Witness: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Believe me when I tell you that these are just the tip of the “stupid” iceberg when it comes to the criminal justice system.  It’s no joke when someone tells you that the term “Criminal Justice System” is the ultimate oxymoron. It is scary stupid every minute of every day especially when you spend two days a week inside a jail.  I spent during my time with the State Judicial Branch close to seven hundred days inside jails interviewing prisoners and watching the system at work.  Every time I walked from a jail at the end of the day I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked God I was not incarcerated and needed no help from an attorney.  DUMB AND DUMBER!

03-12-2013   4 comments

I hear often from friends and family alike that I’m a cynic, sarcastic, have a bad attitude, and don’t think much of this human race I’m a part of.  Here’s a news flash people, I’m all of those things and a bag of chips.  I was raised to do the right thing whenever possible regardless of the consequences and it’s one of the main reasons I became a police officer.  But things have changed dramatically in the last twenty years.  Some good changes but many that aren’t so good.  I certainly  wouldn’t want to be a young child being raised now.  They’re all eventually turned into fearful and paranoid little people who are afraid of everyone around them except for their mother and father.  I understand that in most cases it’s a necessity considering all of the lunatics and perverts running the streets but it is a sad commentary of everyday American life and values.

We as a people have become so ‘paranoid’ of each other that courtesy and helpfulness between individuals can no longer be expected.  I find myself affected in this way in my dealings not just with adults but also with children.  I know  if I saw a child in distress I would assist immediately but in the back of my mind I would be thinking and worrying, “ Is someone going to sue me or falsely accuse me of wrongdoing” just “to be on the safe side”.  I’m afraid that a majority of men in this country are “paranoid” to the extreme in matters like this.  I don’t doubt there have been occasions where young children appeared disoriented or lost and people continued on about their business because of these fears.  How many times has it been reported that people have stood by and watched as others are raped, stabbed, and murdered without even taking any action as simple as a 911 call.

Years ago when I was in the police academy we were educated about a law called the ‘Good Samaritan Act’.  It supposedly protected law enforcement and fire/rescue personnel from lawsuits resulting from their assisting injured individuals.  They stressed during this training all of the required certifications you should have just to ‘cover your ass’.  CPR and basic emergency medical training come to mind immediately.  That’s great for service personnel but I’ll bet any amount of money that the law is so  full of loop holes that it wouldn’t be possible to use it to protect an average citizen in those same circumstances. The current thinking seems to be, it’s safer to do nothing and not get involved.

So here’s where we are now.  Women and children should run and hide from all men.  Men should run and hide if approached by any female, old or young, any child, or any suspicious looking person.  No eye contact with anyone at any time because they may rape, rob, abuse, or manhandle you.  If you see a crime, keep walking and maybe call from home later or maybe not. 

This  kind of behavior  is destructive to our society on many levels but I do understand the underlying reasons for it.  As the country continues to permit individuals to rationalize any and all bad behavior up to and including murder, the situation will never improve.  All of the psycho-babble in the world cannot justify or excuse hard core criminal behavior.  Where there’s a carrot there must be a stick.  Lack of societal deterrence for crimes is to blame.  If a crime occurs there must be swift punishment to send the proper message to others and maybe convince the new generations that this isn’t a land full of adult predators who are out to get them.

Excuse me for a minute, I need to check my alarm system, my door locks, my deadbolts, and it’s also time to feed the alligators in the moat.  That should keep me safe for another night.