12-16-2012   Leave a comment

Well today’s December 16th, leaving eight more shopping days till Christmas. I’ve been trying desperately to find a little more Christmas spirit but it’s been difficult.  In years past I never bothered to make much of an effort because I didn’t care all that much.

My better-half has been doing her best to get me going and last night she decided a trip to Walmart was necessary. She seemed to think that if I listen to some Christmas music and check out some possible gifts, I’ll get that old feeling back. That included of course a cruise through the toy department looking for gifts for her new grandson who’s all of two months old. 

We arrived with the best of intentions but as most of you know Walmart makes me crazy year-round not just at Christmas.  The lunatic fringe was out in droves shopping their asses off and wearing Christmas outfits that were not only indescribable but worthy of immediate arrest for felony bad taste. I know one thing for sure, I’m not a big fan of the recent fad at Walmart of wearing pajamas pants to shop in. Not only is it a stupid thing to do but OMG could they find anything uglier to wear.  I saw no less than five somewhat normal looking human beings wearing them and of course they were all women.

As we entered the Toy Department I suddenly found myself in a new and unfamiliar situation.  I was being made to shop for a two month old child’s toys.  Doesn’t my better-half realize that the new grand child is still trying to focus his eyes and to figure out what those five things are at the end of each of his arms. I decided to go along with it but immediately discovered what I mistake I’d made. OMG there were freaking toys as far as the eye could see. In the car I indicated that possibly a Lego set would be something to consider but there must have been a hundred freaking Lego sets filling two aisles. My head was spinning just trying to take it all in. 

A short distance down the aisle were a young married couple and their child’s grandparents.  They weren’t actually fighting but the discussion was a bit heated. If those four already experienced parents and grandparents couldn’t figure these things out, what chance did I have. That would be absolutely NONE.  I went through the motions for another twenty minutes and we eventually left empty handed.  Another twenty minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

As we left Walmart the unthinkable began happening.  What’s Christmas without an effing snow storm.  The radio weather experts tell me that by tomorrow we’ll have 6-10 inches of accumulation. Yippee!   I think I’ll go home and find my snow shoveling gear and my magic shovel. 

I’M SLOWLY SLIDING TOWARDS THE “I HATE CHRISTMAS” ZONE, HELP ME!

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