03-20-2013   2 comments

I’ve decided to have a quiet and restful day today to catch my breathe and relax a little. My better-half is off to work in my car since her vehicle took a hissy fit this morning and refused to start (allegedly).  I was awakened by her at 5:00 am from a wonderfully deep sleep to be brought up to speed about her car. It’s moments like that for me that test the limits of any relationship.

I became just conscious enough to tell her where my car keys were and for her to take my car.  I immediately attempted to fall back to sleep but as you all know once your awakened it’s sometimes impossible. I laid in bed for another half hour and finally gave up.  I threw on some clothes, had a cup of really awful coffee, and headed to the garage to address her problem.

You must understand that my better-half has super powers never before seen on this planet.  She is Anti-Technology Girl and has the ability to just look at a piece of technology or machinery and cause it to not work.  I cringe every time she walks by any of my computer equipment because sometimes that’s all it takes.  She has the ability to cause any device with virtually no moving parts to malfunction repeatedly but only when she’s using it.  It’s freaking scary sometimes.

She can pick up a brand new remote control that was working properly for me five minutes ago and have it fail.  I try to humor her but at times it’s just not possible. Her list is endless; computers that make errors that are impossible for them to make, her car that never had a problem starting  won’t start, and on and on it goes with no possible explanations from her.

Being the trained observer that I am I’ve come to the conclusion that the problem just might be her.  She can’t set the time on a clock, she can’t do anything on a computer without retraining every week, and I’m the guy who gets to spend his life following her around to fix these problems.

All of that being said I just knew that when I arrived in the garage this morning that her car would start.  I climbed into the car, turned the key, and it started immediately without any weird sounds or hesitation whatsoever. Oh, did I forget to mention what the first thing she asked me in my groggy half-awake state?  "What did you do to my car?  That statement alone should tell you the rest of the story.

It’s not often she’s rendered speechless about anything but when I called to tell her the car was fine I received a full five seconds of dead silence.  I should call the Guinness World Record people since in my experience that is a world record if there ever was one.

Now I’m free to go about my life knowing I’ve solved another of her hundreds of mysterious problems that seem to fix themselves as soon as I arrive.  That’s what every successful relationship is I suppose; give and take, good and bad, and about a ton of BS you both have to ignore to survive together. 

Ain’t love grand.

2 responses to “03-20-2013

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  1. It runs in the family!

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