08-29-2013   Leave a comment

CLASS IS NOW IN SESSION

It’s time for two more lessons from those super dedicated and intelligent teachers from Every Useless Thing University.  The source of endless supplies of knowledge mostly forgotten by the every-day citizen.  Take detailed notes because our tests are tough and the failure rate has been climbing in recent years. 

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Lesson #9 – What is Snot and Why is it Sometimes Green?

Snot is a slang term for mucus, a thin and slippery material comprising musins and inorganic salts suspended in water that’s produced by the mucous membranes inside the nose. It serves to moisten and protect the nose and throat while also trapping inhaled foreign matter, keeping it in the nose and thus preventing dangerous particles and germs from reaching the lungs, where they could cause damage. Mucus surrounds any foreign matter that is trapped and dries around it, producing a hardened piece of snot.

Mucus production is normal and healthy, but increased production in the respiratory tract is often a sign of a disease, such as the common cold.

When snot appears green or yellow, this is usually because the body has a bacterial infection, causing it to produce thick mucus containing pus excreted by the bacteria. When the body’s immune system detects the infection, it produces an enzyme called myeloperoxidase, which kills the bacteria in the mucus and expels it through the nose.

The nose produces almost a cupful of snot every day.

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Lesson #10 – Does Penis Size Vary by Race?

The penis sizes of men are frequently discussed and joked about. A large penis is coveted by many, considered a symbol of masculinity and thought to be an attractive quality to women. The size of a man’s penis is influenced by a number of factors, such as cold temperatures, which generally reduce the size of the flaccid penis to a lack of blood flow causing it to shrink.

One study found that the average length of the stretched, flaccid penis was 5.2 inches for White men, 5.7 inches Black men, and 4.2 inches for Asian men. Another study, meanwhile, found the average length of the unstretched, flaccid penis is 4 inches for White men and 4.3 for Black men. Black men’s penises were also found to be longer when erect, but only by 1 inch, while their circumferences were found to be in average 0.1 inch larger.

On the basis of these studies it is evident that the average black man’s penis is larger than the average white man’s which is in turn is larger than the average Asian man’s. Corroborating the latter part of this conclusion is a further finding that American condoms are 7.1 inches long, whereas Japanese condoms are 6.3 inches long. For this reason, at one time travel-guides recommended that male travelers should take their own condoms when visiting Asia.

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What have we learned today?  First, snotty noses serve a useful purpose but wiping them is still mandatory so as not to gross out others.

Second, for you female students who overly concern  themselves with penis size, the information contained in Lesson #10 should be helpful.  You should always remember this important and useful adage to further assist you when choosing a possible boyfriend or mate,  “It’s not the size of the club but how it’s wielded.”

CLASS DISMISSED

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