12-05-2014 Journal – Things I Once Hated III   Leave a comment

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I’m feeling particularly lazy today thanks in part to NASA and the pilot of a small boat floating off shore near Cape Canaveral. Both of them were responsible for totally screwing up my sleep schedule for last night and again this morning and unfortunately tomorrow as well.

I’m a bit of a science and space nerd and I was excited enough about the launch of Orion that I set my alarm for 4:15 am, stumbled out of bed to await the launch at 7:04 am.  After two and a half hours of the prelaunch show I was ready to see that rocket fly.  Too bad the dumb SOB in that boat who wandered into the hazard zone near the launch site caused the first of what ended up being four delays. 

At 9:00 am I was still sitting like a zombie on the couch with my fourth cup of coffee, all wound up with no place to go. They missed the launch window and now I’ve got to do all of this again tomorrow morning. Since I’m not altogether alert yet, I thought I’d just post the third installment of "Things I Once Hated". These fifteen items will complete the first forty of my list of one hundred.  Here we go.

* * *

#26  Hospitals – I don’t ever see my feelings for hospitals changing. They creep me out just as much now as they did when I was a kid.  No improvement and there never will be.

#27  Mimes – I don’t know many people who like mimes except for a few artistic types I attended school with.  A major annoyance if you’re trying to sit on a bench and relax for a few minutes but no actual hatred. 100% improvement.

#28  Oprah Winfrey – What more needs to be said.  She finally moved on down the road just like Phil Donahue.  Goodbye, good luck, and get out! No improvement for Harpo.

#29  Finger Nail Decals – I love well cared for nails on a woman but in my humble opinion decals are tacky.  I can’t say I hate people that wear them but the first impression they leave with me isn’t good.  No hatred but a 100% of yuck. 100% improvement on the hate scale.  I can almost feel myself evolving with all these fantastic improvements.

#30  Will Ferrell – To me he is the unfunniest comic I’ve ever seen or heard of. No improvement.

#31  Fake Finger Nails – I really don’t hate them because my better-half has occasionally had them installed. Even if I did I can’t ever say it out loud. 100% improvement.

#32  The Smell of Urine – Yours, mine, or anyone else’s. No improvement.

#33  Corpse’s – Being a former soldier and police officer I’ve seen my fair share of bodies.  I always hated being put into a position to personally deal with the dead. It’s very creepy and I hated it then and still do. No improvement.

#34  Women Missing Teeth – I guess I really don’t hate them but they do give me a huge case of the willies when they smile at me. 100% improvement.

#35  Political Correctness – No explanation needed for this. My biggest all time hate. No improvement.

#36  Liberals – This refers to those true dyed-in-the-wool, Kool-Aid drinking, Obama loving, and Clinton worshiping Liberals.  Many other Liberals are moderate and I don’t hate them, they just annoy me. 50% improvement.

#37  Drug Users – Just hate’em ! ! ! No improvement.

#38  Boogers – As I’ve matured I’ve come to understand that I don’t hate all boogers. I really can’t hate my own because I’ve spent years learning how to properly handle them.  I do hate the boogers of others because they show up in the damnedest places.  Now you not only find old gum under table edges but also the occasional moist booger.  That’s really rude so please flick it elsewhere like everyone else does. 50% improvement.

#39  Clowns – I once wore a clown costume for Halloween and mistakenly looked into a mirror as I walked by.  It freaked me the hell out and I’ve hated them ever since. No improvement.

#40  Corns – Nothing’s worse that being in a darkened room getting romantic with a gorgeous women and as you run your hand slowly down her smoothly shaved legs to her feet. There you run into some crusty and nasty corns.  Hate is way too nice a word for those things. Not only do they make the woman limp but me as well. No improvement.

* * *

That takes care of items 1-40.  The rest will be posted before years end and then I can get started on my New Year’s resolutions.

P.S.  It’s now the next day and I just finished watching another four hours of the Orion flight.  Kudos to NASA and all of it’s partners.  The takeoff, flight, and landing went without a hitch and they should be congratulated on such a huge accomplishment.

Now I need a nap!

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