Archive for the ‘final words’ Tag

07/27/2022 “Grave Moments”   Leave a comment

In my younger days I spent a great deal of time in the oldest graveyards in southern Massachusetts. I did gravestone rubbings, sketches, and even a number of oil paintings. I even stretched t-shirts over gravestones, did rubbings, and sold them through a local gift shop. I had many requests from families for shirts with their family name or their favorite epithets. It seems everyone is either fascinated by graveyards or afraid of them. I’ve always loved them because of the absolute quietness. I spent many an hour curled up with a good book, under a tree, in my favorite graveyard.

Here are a few unusual and catchy tombstone epithets for your entertainment.

  • M.S. Donald Robertson, died 4 June 1848, age 63. “He was a peaceable man, and, to all appearance a sincere Christian. His death was much regretted – which was caused by the stupidity of Lawrence Tulloch of Clotherton who sold him nitre instead of Epsom salts by which he was killed in the space of three hours after taking a dose of it.” Cross Kirk, Shetland, England
  • “Sacred for the memory of Anthony Drake, who died for peace and quietness sake. His wife was constantly scolding and scoffin’, so he sought for repose in a twelve-dollar coffin.” Burlington, Massachusetts
  • “Sacred to the memory of Elisha Philbrook and his wife Sarah, beneath these stones do lie. Back-to-back, my wife and I. When the last trumpet the air shall fill, if she gets up, I’ll just lie still.” Sargentville, Maine
  • “Beneath this stone, a lump of clay lies Arabella Young, who on the 21st of May began to hold her tongue.” Hatfield, Massachusetts
  • Sacred to the memory of Jared Bates who died August the 6th, 1800. His widow, aged 24, lives at 7 Elm Street, has every qualification for a good wife, and yearns to be comforted.” Lincoln, Maine
  • “Fear God, keep the commandments, and don’t attempt to climb a tree, for that’s what caused the death of me.” Eastwell, Kent, England
  • “Here lies I, Jonathan Fry. killed by a skyrocket in my eye socket.” Frodsham, Cheshire, England

IT SEEMS A SENSE OF HUMOR LAST FOREVER

R.I.P.

03/11/2022 Celebrity Deaths   Leave a comment

Normally, I find that posts concerning anything remotely related to sex seem to catch everyone’s eye. I’ve found one other subject that draws as much attention (almost) and that’s death. Here are a few obscure facts on celebrities during their final days and hours. It’s a bit morbid but informative.

  • Errol Flynn (1909 – 1959) was buried at Forest lawn Memorial Park Cemetery in Glendale, California, with a half-dozen friends, six bottles of whiskey, and farewell gifts from his boozing buddies.
  • It happened one night, the death of Oscar-winning legend Claudette Colbert (1903 – 1996), after she suffered a series of strokes. But when she was alive, the actor made a promise: “I must never think about death. People who think about death are mentally sick.”
  • John Belushi (1949 – 1982) His final resting place is at Abel’s Hill Cemetery, Martha’s Vineyard but Belushi ain’t where you think he is. The huge boulder marked BELUSHI is just a deterrent, a place where fans can leave their liquor bottles, cigarette packs and other sundry “souvenirs”. His real grave lies several yards from the boulder, and nobody’s telling exactly where that may be.

Trivia Footnote: The three longest obituaries to run in the New York Times were, Pope John Paul II at 13870 words, Richard Nixon at 13155 words, and Ronald Reagan at 11,411.

  • Humphrey Bogart (1899 – 1957) His last words were to his wife Lauren Bacall as she left his bedside to run a quick errand, “Hurry back”. He was buried with a small gold whistle that he had given to Bacall before they were married. It referred to their first movie together and was inscribed with “If you want anything, just whistle.”
  • Joan Crawford (1905 – 1977) She died in her New York apartment from a heart attack and was also suffering from breast and pancreatic cancer. Her last words were directed to her housekeeper that had begun to pray out loud. She emphatically stated “Damn it! Don’t you dare ask God to help me!”

I certainly hope that when my time comes, I’ll have something a little more interesting to say. Maybe I’ll make a crib sheet to keep in my pocket with three or four really interesting comments and just before I go, I’ll choose the one I like the best. I don’t need a cutesy epithet either because hopefully my ashes will be floating somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean.

OH, TO BE A CELEBRITY

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