Archive for the ‘celebrities’ Tag

08-16-2016 Journal – Death Trivia!   Leave a comment

We do a lot of trivia on this site which usually consists of total useless information about totally useless things and people.  Today will be a miscellaneous mish-mash of things I’ve discovered recently.  First is something called the Manner of Death statistics.  It’s a list created by some group somewhere telling us all how we are dying in descending order of frequency. Enjoy!

Heart disease: 614,348
• Cancer: 591,699
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 147,101
Accidents (unintentional injuries): 136,053
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 133,103
Alzheimer’s disease: 93,541
Diabetes: 76,488
Influenza and pneumonia: 55,227
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 48,146
Intentional self-harm (suicide): 42,773

That’s enough to send a cold chill up anyone’s back. The perfect way to start your day.  Next is a list of injury types, hospital data, and a whole lot more.

  • Number of medically attended injury and poisoning episodes in the population: 39.5 million
  • Episodes per 1,000 population: 126.3
  • Number of visits (to physician offices, hospital outpatient and emergency departments) for injuries: 80.1 million (includes visits for adverse effects of drug, medicinal or biological substance)
  • Number of emergency department visits for injuries: 43.0 million (includes visits for adverse effects of medical treatment)
  • Number of discharges for fractures (all sites): 1.1 million
  • Number of discharges for poisonings: 260,000
  • Number of discharges for certain complications of surgical and medical care: 1.0 million

Mortality

Total number of deaths: 192,945

Deaths per 100,000 population: 60.2

Poisoning

Number of poisoning deaths: 48,545

Deaths per 100,000 population: 15.4

Traffic Deaths

Number of deaths: 33,804

Deaths per 100,000 population: 10.7

Firearm Deaths

Number of deaths: 33,636

Deaths per 100,000 population: 10.6

Are you feeling more secure now?  Do you even want to leave the house?  It appears that life in these United States is a real crap shoot.  Roll the dice and hope for the best every time you leave the house.

I admit I’ve depressed myself with this posting so I’ll keep this last item short. On this day in history many people have passed on. Here are two that died on this day that I thought might interest you.

babe-ruth

1948 Babe Ruth, Baseball legend (NY Yankees), dies in NY at 53

elvis-presley

1977 Elvis Presley, American musician, dies at Graceland at 42. Official cause of death is cardiac arrhythmia

I THINK I’LL GO BACK TO BED

07-21-2015 Journal–Strange, Weird & Creative!   Leave a comment

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All of us folks who love blogging seem to have that secret wish to be a published and recognized writer.  We read the classics as students and are told by our teachers what great and wonderful authors they were. What they failed to explain was that these same incredible writers had  private lives that were all too often a nightmare.

I’ve spent my life hanging out with creative types and have been amazed. I’ve found myself speechless at times after really getting to know them and seeing them for what they really are, just plain old, screwed up, and faulty human beings like everyone else.  Without their creativity they’d be an average Joe with all the normal problems and complaints.  Unfortunately that creativity gene has the bizarre ability to turn normal run-of-the-mill problems into absolute disasters.  Boozing, drug use, and all too often an early and tragic death.

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With that being said I thought I’d offer up some words of wisdom from some of  our more creative celebrities. This is my lame attempt to show them as just regular folks with a huge twist.  Let’s go . . . .

  • “Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion.”  Madonna
  • “I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It’s so funny, when I record I sing with a hand over each of them. Maybe it’s a comfort thing.” Baby Spice
  • “The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.”  Oscar Wilde
  • “I say no to drugs. But they don’t listen.”  Marilyn Manson
  • “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.”  Woody Allen

In college I found myself living in a small community of artists of all types.  We remained separate from the rest of the school for a number of reasons. First we dressed a little differently, we saw things a little differently, and we didn’t give a damn what other people thought about us. I wish I would’ve had the good sense to write down a few of the more profound quotes they offered up as we sat around drinking wine and smoking a fat one.  We solved all the problems of the world but couldn’t remember any of the solutions the next morning. How ironic!  Keep reading . . .

  • “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.”  Mel Brooks
  • “If I had a choice of having a woman in my arms or shooting a bad guy on a horse, I’d take the horse. It’s a lot more fun.” Kevin Costner
  • “It’s like when I buy a horse. I don’t want a thick neck and short legs.” Mickey Rourke, on his ideal woman
  • “My advice to you is get married. If you find as good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.”  Socrates
  • “Where the hell is Australia, anyway?”  Britney Spears

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I could go on but I think I’ve made my point.  Creative types normally spend a good part of their lives “out there” on the very edge of “the box” and occasionally fall all the way out.  I’ve been called creative for most of my life and it never seems to be all that complimentary.  It’s always “He’s very creative, but a little strange.”  For most of us that’s our badge of honor and we wear it proudly.

Long Live the Strange!

01-16-2014 Celebrities – Real of Fake?   Leave a comment

You must have gathered by now, I’m not a big fan of celebrities. Most celebrities just aren’t worth my time and effort to write about them. I’m not saying all of them are fake but a vast majority appear to be. I do understand that some of them, and I do mean “SOME”, are talented in various disciplines and that I do appreciate. My biggest complaint is their effect on the culture with their stupid and uninformed opinions and thoughts. They may have talent and fame but it doesn’t make them any smarter than the rest of us.  They allow themselves to be used by politicians to affect the vote in ways that I disagree with. Their influence among our younger generations with silly and sometimes stupid statements causes more problems than it solves.  Here’s a few examples of these fine upstanding citizens and the things they say and think.

  • “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
    – Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
  • “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”  – Mariah Carey
  • “Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.” – Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
  • “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” — Britney Spears
  • “I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.” — Jessica Simpson
  • “I am convinced that by eating biological foods it is possible to avoid a tumor.” – Gwyneth Paltrow
  • “It’s OK to have beliefs, just don’t believe in them.” – Guy Ritchie
  • “What’s Walmart, do they like make walls there?” – Paris Hilton
  • “When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crack-head with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes. – Nicole Richie
  • “If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.” – Joe Biden
  • “It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.” – Axl Rose
  • “All of the sudden, you’re like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I’m going through.” – R. Kelly

These are the role models our younger generations look up to and attempt to emulate. I always thought that the obsession with celebrities faded as we aged but I was wrong.  I recall years ago teasing my seventy year old mother when she said she would have thrown her panties on stage for Tom Jones.  Same obsession, different approach.

I guess I just dislike fake people.  If you’re a great singer or actor with loads of talent why change your name.  Stand up, be proud, and be who you really are.  Here’s a list of just a few celebrities who’ve been convinced by the Hollywood types to not just change their names but to remove their real identities as people.  This is a very small sampling of this nonsense.

Pat Benatar = Patricia Andrejewski
Bono  = Paul Hewson
Alice Cooper = Vincent Funnier
Elvis Costello = Declan Patrick McManus
Tom Cruise = Thomas Cruise Mapother IV
Vin Diesel = Mark Vincent
Kathie Lee Gifford = Kathie Epstein
Whoopie Goldberg = Caryn Johnson
Ice Cube = Oshea Jackson
Ice-T = Tracy Morrow
Elton John = Reginald Dwight
Wynonna Judd = Christina Ciminella
Queen Latifah = Dana Owens
Courtney Love = Michelle Harrison
Elle MacPherson = Eleanor Gow
Barry Manilow = Barry Alan Pincus
Marilyn Manson = Brian
Demi Moore = Demetria Guynes
Joan Rivers = Joan Sandra Molinsky
Johnny Rotten (Sex Pistols) = John Lydon
Winona Ryder = Winona Horowitz
Susan Sarandon = Susan Tomaling
Jane Seymour = Joyce Franked berg
Sting = Gordon Sumner
Randy Travis = Randy Traywick
Sid Vicious = John Simon Ritchie
Raquel Welch = Raquel Tejada
Gene Wilder = Jerome Silberman
Tammy Wynette = Wynette Pugh

What kind of person so easily gives up their real name?  How do their other family members feel about it?  I have a feeling in some close-knit families this could become a major problem and create a lot of hard feelings.  I know if I had a son or daughter talented enough to be given that choice, they’d keep their name and be damn proud of it.  Just ask the Wahlberg brothers or the Baldwin family.  Proud of who they are and not ashamed to admit it.

12-08-2013 Christmas Journal Entry   Leave a comment

As we slowly approach Christmas Day I find a need to continue with my blogging of all things Christmas.  After the last few days of watching my better-half bake enough cookies and breads to feed an army I’m ready to scream.  Even with this broken leg my weight loss program continues and all these goodies in the house with their fantastic smells is driving me crazy.  So I decided to hide out in the man-cave and work on a few postings.  Anything to stay away from the kitchen.  I’ve lost almost thirty pounds so far and the last thing I need is a Christmas holiday season full of candies and cookies.

The first thing I’d like to pass on today are a few thoughts from past and present celebrities.  I know how most of you hang on their every word and I hope you enjoy this short look into their thought processes.

  • ‘I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.’ Bernard Manning
  • ‘I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six.  Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.’ Shirley Temple
  • ‘A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.’ Anonymous
  • ‘Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist.  What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?’
    Arlo Guthrie
  • Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
    You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
    Anonymous
  • ‘Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.’  Victor Borge
  • ‘The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C.  This wasn’t for any religious reasons. T hey couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.’ Jay Leno
  • ‘Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!’ Ogden Nash
  • Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present. Anonymous

Next I offer you a few Christmas movie quotes.  I live in a family obsessed with remembering movie quotes.  Having a conversation with them and not being a movie expert makes communicating difficult at times.  These quotes are for them and anyone else who’s interested.

  • Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas?
    You know… the birth of Santa.
    Bart Simpson
  • Snowman: Did you hear about the church that burned down?
    Statler, Waldorf: Holy smoke!  Muppet Movie
  • Doris: Would you please tell her that you’re not really Santa Claus, that there actually is no such person?
    Kris Kringle: Well, I hate to disagree with you, but not only is there such a person, but here I am to prove it.
    ‘Miracle on 34th Street’
  • Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.  It’s A Wonderful Life
  • Charlie, stay away from those things. They’re reindeer, you don’t know where they’ve been. They all look like they’ve got key lime disease.
    The Santa Clause Movie
  • Rats. Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it? A Charlie Brown Christmas

I’m not a fan of watching Christmas movies which puts me immediately in the minority.  It seems everyone’s Christmas memories include one or two “special” movies that they enjoyed as kids.  I stumbled on a website recently that listed the following movies as the Ten Best Christmas Movies ever.  I can honestly say I haven’t seen more than three of the movies on their list.  They may be right but I’m not the guy to make that call.  It does seem a little odd that there are no mentions made of any recent movies like “Home Alone” or “Christmas Vacation” with Chevy Chase.  Just a thought from a non-Christmas movie person.

Christmas In Connecticut (1945) – Barbara Stanwyck
It’s A Wonderful Life (1946) – Frank Capra [Best Christmas Movie]
Miracle On 34th Street (1947) – Kris Kringle
Scrooge (1951) – Alistair Sim
White Christmas (1954) – Bing Crosby Classic
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol
A Christmas Story (1883) – Bob Clark
Joyeux Noel (2005) – WW1 Football Game in the Trenches
Olive the Other Reindeer

I think that’ll do it for today.  If you have any suggestions on improving that movie list feel free to say so and I’ll post your changes.

16 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT

12-02-2013 Christmas “Lives and Deaths”   Leave a comment

Since my posting yesterday I’m starting to get that a tingle of Christmas spirit once again.  With that in mind I thought I might gather a few more interesting tidbits for you concerning famous people  and their connection to Christmas Day.

December 25 is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ as both an important religious and historical figure. There are many others who also claim December 25th as their birthday. They’re famous and celebrated individuals who’ve filled our world with music, laughter and entertainment. Let’s take a quick look.

* * *

Rod Serling – 1924:  Creator of The Twilight Zone, Rod Serling the Emmy-award winning writer set the stage for the future of science fiction on TV.

Annie Lennox – 1954:  The angelic-voiced songstress hit it big with Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) when she was in the musical duo “The Eurhythmics”.

Sir Isaac Newton – 1642:  Sir Isaac Newton was a true Renaissance man who made leaps and bounds in the areas of mathematics, astronomy, and physics.

Sissy Spacek –1949:  Although she has been making movies steadily, the one role which defined Sissy Spacek as an actress was portraying Loretta Lynn in 1980’s Coal Miner’s Daughter.

Clara Barton – 1821:  She was a nurse and the original Red Cross organizer.

Dido – 1971:  She is known for her hauntingly beautiful sounds that seem to transcend time.

Humphrey Bogart – 1899:  He was the rough-edged actor who help put film noir on the map. While critics and fans alike tend to put Casablanca forward as one of the best movies, To Have and Have Not is a better pick.

Jimmy Buffet: 1946:  Parrot-heads everywhere can rejoice.

Robert Ripley – 1893:  Believe It or Not, Robert Ripley was an anthropologist, although that may not be the first occupation that comes to your mind when thinking of Ripley. He premiered his Ripley’s Believe It or Not in the form of newspaper panels.

* * *

Now, I think it’s only right and proper to list those famous and infamous who’ve passed away on Christmas.  Here we go.

* * *

Dean Martin – 1995: A member of the famed Rat Pack, Dean Martin was a singer and an actor having starred in around 51 different films. He died Christmas morning in his home of respiratory failure brought on perhaps by his lung cancer and emphysema.

Billy Martin – 1989: He was best known for his role as the manager of the New York Yankees. He started his baseball career as a second baseman and then became the manager known for arguing with the umpires and doing a special kicking move throwing dirt at them. Martin died in a car accident in New York on Christmas day.

James Brown – 2006: The godfather of soul and funk died from pneumonia on Christmas day in Atlanta Georgia.  He was 73 years old when he passed.

Richard Paul – 1998: Another actor who died during the yuletide season in 1998 was actor Richard Paul. He was Mr. Strowbridge on the show Full House as well as the mayor on Murder, She Wrote.  He died of cancer.

WC Fields – 1946: He was an actor and a film writer, known for his comedic timing. Supposedly after he was checked in to a hospital, feeling ill, a friend caught him reading the Bible and quotes Fields as having said he was “checking for loopholes.” He died in a sanatorium in Pasadena, California after having been hospitalized for around fourteen months. He perished from a stomach hemorrhage. He was 66 years old.

Denver Pyle – 1997: This actor who died of lung cancer was first known as Mad Jack on the show The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams, and then went on to become famous as Uncle Jesse in the show The Dukes of Hazzard.

Charlie Chaplin -1977: Famous as the Little Tramp, Chaplin is an acting icon immediately recognizable by most every generation. Hailed for his comedic performances, he was also an Oscar winner before his Christmas death. He died in Vevey, Switzerland at the age of 88.

And a few others:

Reggie White – famous football player for the Green Bay Packers.

Gerald Ford – Was once the President of the United States of America.

Nigel Hawthorne – An actor who was in the film Amistad as well as did some voice over for the Disney cartoon: Tarzan.

Jason Robards – The actor who played a congressman in Enemy of the State with Will Smith, as well as the dying Earl Partridge in Magnolia starring Tom Cruise.

Curtis Mayfield – A singer/songwriter known fro bringing the soul and funk to R & B music.

Dian FosseGorillas In The Mist was about her and she was later murdered in Rwanda.

Jack Benny – A comedian, actor, and all around performer, who died in 1974.

* * *

It must be quite a life when you’re a celebrity.  You’re born on Christmas Day which is celebrated by everyone every year and then you become rich and famous because of your many talents and are celebrated yet again. Unfortunately some of them die on Christmas and are then remembered forever on stupid blogs like this.  As they say “Any publicity is good publicity.”

HO! HO! HO!

11-23-2013 Odd Celebrity Facts   Leave a comment

If you’ve read this blog regularly you know I never miss an opportunity to ridicule and tweak the noses of celebrities and the people who worship the ground they walk on. In my travels on the Internet and while perusing through my collection of books I’ve compiled a few tidbits of information on some of our more famous celebrities to help expel some of the mysteries they spend years wrapping themselves in. They’re just folks like everyone else no matter how hard they try not to be.

  • Actor James Earl Jones, the  voice of Darth Vader in Star Wars, stuttered so badly as a child and he had to communicate by writing notes.
  • Japanese American actor Pat Morita, star of the Karate Kid and Happy Days, suffered from spinal tuberculosis as a child and spent nine years confined to bed.
  • Actor Walter Brennan (1894 – 1974) started his career in Hollywood by doing a voiceover for a donkey.
  • Television star Vanna White of the show Wheel of Fortune claps an average of 720 times per show. And she has walked more than 443 miles on the show since 1982.
  • During most of the time that actor Raymond Burr played Perry Mason, he never owned a television set.
  • Spencer Tracy’s 1937 Oscar for Best Actor was mistakenly engraved with the name “Dick Tracy”.
  • Hollywood actress Ava Gardner left a trust fund of several million dollars, her mansion, and a personal maid to her dog, Morgan.
  • Tarzan star Johnny Weissmuller had a contract that stipulated he had to weigh 190 pounds or less, and for every pound over 190 he was docked $5000 – up to $50,000 a day.
  • At the age of 82, actor Kirk Douglas made his 82nd film.
  • Horror film star Bela Lugosi was buried in his favorite Dracula cape.
  • American actress Joan Crawford had a contract with MGM Studios that stipulated the time she had to be in bed each night.
  • Actor James Dean was still receiving fan mail two years after his death.

I could list another hundred snippets on more recent celebrities with even weirder things but with the social networks these days you already know most of that gossip.  I’ll save a few of those for another day.   I can only hope that all of you celebrity worshipers out there are able to maintain some sort of normal perspective when dealing with them.  I’m just kidding myself but I  can still hope.

I’m adding this photo for my own sake.  While I’m not a celebrity chaser I might be convinced to chase this one.

OMG!!!

10-26-2013 One Year Anniversary   Leave a comment

I’ll begin celebrating today after posting this blog entry.  When I retired the Anti-Stupidity Blog one year ago I challenged myself to start a new blog and to write for one year, 365 posts, without missing a day and not using graphics, catchy and cutesy headlines or photographs.   It sounded easy at the time but it was anything but. 

I needed a lot of willpower but after the first six months my reserve of motivation was almost exhausted.  I worked through it and today that challenge and goal have been met. 

I’ll start fresh on October 27th (tomorrow) with an better outlook and a return to what some consider normalcy in blogging.  I’ll use the occasional photograph or two in the future but not gratuitously. The majority of these photo’s will be those I’ve taken myself.  I’ll be adding a word or two in addition to the date to indicate the general content of each post.  Since I’ve become somewhat addicted to this style of posting it will continue this way for the foreseeable future. 

I’m looking forward to the next year and I hope you are as well.  Tomorrow will be the start of something a little different but the endless quantities of totally useless information will continue.  The trivia quizzes will return and number of new twists can be expected there.  I’ll continue to comment on celebrities and their unusual activities, other inappropriate humor, and as many dirty and filthy limericks as I can find or create.  I’ll do the occasional book review and anything else that catches my fancy. 

The world is my oyster and I’ll keep searching for those proverbial pearls of wisdom to pass on to you.  Onward and Upward!

10-08-2013   Leave a comment

I have to admit to being just like every other man when when it comes to sex.  We approach sex quite differently than our female counterparts and for that I’m grateful.  It’s that difference that makes the sparks fly and the interesting things begin to happen.  Unfortunately it’s also that difference that causes most of the problems in relationships and most of the divorces as well.

We enjoy talking about sex almost as much as we enjoy doing it.  Man to man, women to woman, but almost no-one ever crosses that gender barrier.  For the men they can exaggerate, lie, and say whatever they want to their buddies who have no way of verifying any of it.  Between women it appears to be somewhat different with more feelings, emotions, and over-thinking that most men aren’t prepared to deal with.  I personally think that women BS each other just as much as the men but tend to believe each other more.  Men know they’re being lied too and expect that.  It’s a basic part of male bonding.  Women seem to trust each other completely when it comes to comparing men. Why?  I have no clue.  If you want that answer ask a women.

I love hearing people talk about sex and that includes celebrities and other members of the elite class who think they’re so much smarted than the rest of us. I specifically searched for quotations on sex that were humorous and ridiculous. If I suddenly have someone telling me the truth about sex I wouldn’t know the difference anyway.  Here they are, have a laugh or two.

  • "My girlfriend always laughs during sex –no matter what she’s reading."
    Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
  • "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
    Tom Clancy
  • "You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
    Steve Martin
  • "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand."
    Woody Allen
  • "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
    Rodney Dangerfield
  • "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
    George Burns
  • "There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked."
    Jerry Seinfeld
  • "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet."
    Robin Williams
  • "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
    Billy Crystal
  • "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
    Robert De Niro
  • "An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex."
    Aldous Huxley
  • "When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows."
    Frederike Ryder

Now you know everything you need to know about sex straight from the mouths of these Hollywood experts.  I’m glad they weren’t around during my formative years or I would have been more confused about sex than I actually was.  As you can also see there are no quotations from women listed here. Sorry ladies but I couldn’t find any that added much to the conversation.  If you find any please forward them along, I’m really and truthfully interested.

09-16-2013   Leave a comment

I’ve always loved slamming celebrities and today will be no different.  I do it fairly by just simply using their own words against them.  Many of these so called celebrities insist on disturbing my calm by being in my face at every turn on both TV and radio. They’re determined to explain to me how much smarter they think they are about politics, the environment, and any other effing cause they are promoting.  It became tiresome more years ago than I care to mention. Since I can’t tell them in person what I think about them without being accused of being a stalker or paparazzi, I’ll use this blog to at least vent enough to make me fell better.

You can take the Bill Maher’s and the Susan Sarandon’s of the world and all of their wack-job friends and ship them wherever you’d like.  Just get them out of my face.  Here are a few quotes that I’m sure these geniuses wished they’d never made.  Here we go . . . .

  • Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
    Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
    – Miss Alabama, 1994 Miss USA Pageant
  • "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researches also discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are."
    – Mat Lauer, Today Show, NBC
  • "I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
    – David Dinkins, New York City Mayor answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
  • "Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life."
    – Brooke Shields
  • "We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
    – Jason Kidd, Dallas Mavericks
  • "I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
    – Hillary Clinton
  • "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
    – Marion Barry, Washing, D.C. Mayor
  • "It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
    – Dan Quayle, U.S. Vice President

I will admit that celebrities make writing this blog easy at times.  They are the proverbial “gifts that keep on giving” and I for one appreciate it. 

And as a final thought, thanks to Fred Thompson and his celebrity buddies trying to convince all the seniors in this country that reverse mortgages are the best thing since sliced bread.  What a giant load of crap.

08-07-2013   Leave a comment

    I realize that a large portion of our society hangs on every word and deed of our ever growing ranks of celebrities.  From the beards on Duck Dynasty to the endless supply of idiot groups of wives from what seems like every city in the country.  Unless people hear the information directly from a celebrity on Twitter it has no validity.  They’re experts on every subject from the environment to politics and need to be constantly in the lime light so none of us can ever forget how smart they think they are.

    Bear in mind when you read the following quotes from our wannabe Mensa members of the celebrity corp.  They spew such utter nonsense as you’ll soon read, take a sip of water, and then begin to explain the State of the Union, as they see it.  This is what happens when semi-smart talented singers with too much time and money on their hands get bored.

    The folks I’m listing here are just the tip of the ice berg.  They’re all singers who’s second most important priority is to be seen and heard as often as possible in the Media.    I actually like some of their music but OMG shut up about everything else.

  • Christina Aguilera
  1. On clothes: “I wouldn’t feel right wearing clothes covering my body.”

  2. “So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”

  • Britney Spears

  1. “I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.”

  2. After a wardrobe malfunction: “OMG my pussy is hanging out.”

  3. “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”

  • Mariah Carey

  1. “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

  2. Before entering rehab:  “I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows.”

  • Jessica Simpson

  1. “I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.”

  2. On tuna: “Is this chicken or is this fish?”

  • Whitney Houston, on crack:  “Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let’s get that straight. OK? We don’t do crack. We don’t do that. Crack is whack.”

  • Kellie Pickler, on ‘Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader’: “I thought Europe was a country?”

  • Ricky Martin: “I love giving the golden shower. I’ve done it before in the shower. It’s, like, so sexy”.

  • Lil’ Wayne, on studying:  “I learned this from a college graduate. She’d smoke a joint the night before a test, while she was studying, and then again in the morning and everything she had read would come right back. I tried this shit five times and I swear to God, I’ve never made less than a 92.”

  • Ozzy Osbourne, on subtitles: “I think MTV should consider using subtitles. Half the time, even I can’t understand what the fuck I’m talking about.”

  • Melissa Etheridge, after winning an Oscar: “This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.”

  • Kanye West, on his legacy: “I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade. I will be the loudest voice.”

  • Axl Rose: "It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.”

    Keep all of this in mind as these celebrities and hundreds of others stare back at you from your TV set and tell you how to eat, drink, live, love, exercise, who to vote for, and what rehab facility is the best. Take their rehab advice but go on about your life  making your own decisions.