Archive for the ‘mae west. lucille ball’ Tag

06-08-2013   Leave a comment

I have a lot of fun teasing my female readers but I hope they understand that it’s all done with my tongue firmly implanted in my cheek.  I’m positive being a women is no bed of roses these days because almost every women I’ve ever known has spent a great deal of her time and mine telling me about it.  I’m really very sympathetic to their plight but for the most part I have no easy answers or solutions for them.

Here are a few things I know would happen if I were suddenly turned into a warm, soft, built, attractive, and fire breathing woman with a man’s attitude and outlook on life. I suspect that slutiness would have a new poster girl.  I’d find it  extremely difficult to keep my panties on if I actually chose to wear any.  I’d be like that famous women of yore who was known as a real "man eater".  Married women would hate me, single women would envy me, and men would desire me.  I’d give it up (if you know what I mean) at every opportunity much like General Robert E. Lee gave it up at Appomattox. 

Like most women I’d refuse to admit my age and would do everything in my power to remain young looking and sexually active like good old Mae West did.  One of her favorite quotes was "I’m not concerned about the men in my life, it’s the life in my men that worries me."  That’s not an exact quote but you get the idea.  After reading Mae’s quote I decided to search out a few more informative female quotes pertaining to aging and life as a senior.  Here are a few quotes and short poems to help you ladies enjoy this posting even more.

  • Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them.
    ~ Anna Magnani
  • You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
  • After 30, a body has a mind of its own. ~ Bette Midler
  • Getting old ain’t for sissies. ~ Betty Davis
  • It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen. ~ Brigitte Bardot
  • Forget about the past, you can’t change it.
    Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.
    Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one."
    – Unknown
  • Nature gives you the face you have at twenty, but it’s up to you to merit the face you have at fifty. ~ Coco Chanel
  • The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it. ~ Doris Day
  • We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~ Unknown
  • I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. ~ Unknown
  • You’ve had many many birthdays,
    Too many for me to mention,
    But there’s still one or two more
    Before you  draw your pension.
    ~ Unknown
  • Life has got to be lived – that’s all there is to it. At seventy, I would say the advantage is that you take life more calmly. You know that "this, too, shall pass!" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Looking fifty is great–if you’re sixty. ~ Joan Rivers
  • If you survive long enough, you’re revered-rather like an old building. ~ Katherine Hepburn
  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~ Lucille Ball
  • I like my bifocals,
    my dentures fit me fine,
    my hearing aid is perfect,
    but Lord I miss my mind!
  • I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do. ~ Phyllis Diller
  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. ~ Unknown
  • "They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body." ~ Unknown

As for all of you men out there, don’t worry I’ll be sure to dedicate a posting only for our gender at some future time.  I thought it was only proper to give the ladies their due after  all the fun I’ve been having at their expense in recent weeks.

%d bloggers like this: