Archive for the ‘seniors’ Tag

02-24-2016 Journal – Obamascare 2016!   Leave a comment

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There are times in people’s lives when life insists are mucking things up. For me the month of February 2016 is fast becoming a month to remember. Let me explain.

I’m back from my two days without blogging and if I remember correctly it’s the first time I’ve missed posting from my every-other-day schedule. I look forward to blogging each and every time and get more than a little miffed when life starts messing with me.  Healthcare issues are currently harshing my buzz.

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For instance, my two day journey this week was totally consumed by things I absolutely hate . . . doctors, hospitals, examinations, Obamacare, and those always sucky insurance companies. Believe me when I say I hate them all equally.  Someday most of you will be where I am now. Retired from decades of working your ass off and wanting to spend your remaining years enjoying life.  I think I’ll  be the bucket of ice water dumped on your head to wake you up.  Good luck with trying to enjoy yourself.

Over the last few years since my private healthcare plan was scrapped and I was forced onto Medicare the government keeps trying to intrude on my calm.  As we all know once the government gets involved in anything it’s a freaking nightmare.  Getting older is tough enough on the good days but having a bunch of bureaucrats and politicians intruding into your life on a regular basis is madness. The real truth is that the older you get the worse it becomes so start getting your mind right now for what’s to come.

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Look forward to a continuous stream of emails from damn near every government agency you can think of and endless changes made to every part of the Obamacare program and it’s requirements. You’re also required to have expensive tests and scanning’s done even when they aren’t necessary. My doctor told me this week I looked perfectly fine, my BP was good, my cholesterol was perfect, and that I was in excellent physical condition for my age. Hooray for me, right?  No way. The next thing he did was schedule me for sonogram of my torso. Guess who will be footing the bill for that I wonder.  The taxpayers I’ll bet.  This test is mandatory for me to meet the Medicare requirements of my Wellness visit.  What a large crock of crap. How many thousands of other Seniors are also being forced into these tests at what I’m sure is hundreds of dollars per test.

Lets review my last six months of health related activities. My doctor of 14 years sold his practice and moved back to Pakistan because of Obamacare. My hospital was sold to a large healthcare corporation and I’ve had three difference doctors assigned to me since that occurred.  Blood tests, scans of body parts I could care less about, and surveys required by the government to get my opinion of the job they’re doing. It’s nice of them to also keep me aware of just how old I’m getting and all of the healthcare tragedies that might eventually kill me.  Like I don’t know what they are already.

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Today I spent and hour and a half trying to straighten out my prescriptions that I’ve been receiving by mail for eleven years.  I attempted to login to the insurance companies website to confirm my next three months of pills which just happen to be keeping me alive.  I couldn’t log on because all of a sudden they didn’t recognize my name, my email address, or my password.  I was officially a non-person. I then called them for help and became lost in the maze of their computerized menu system that totally befuddled me which I assume is done purposely.  After talking with a young lady from El Paso, Texas for far too long I finally confirmed my prescriptions as required to keep the Medicare idiots happy.  Life was finally good, right? No effing way!

My IPad began screaming that new charges had just hit my credit card from the insurance company and guess what . . . they double billed me. It would have been so much easier for me and the government if I would’ve just died when I turned 65.

Let me look into my crystal ball and try to see what’s coming in all of your futures. Maybe free euthanasia clinics? Possibly cut-backs of critical treatments to save money? We can always rely on the politicians to find the “final solution” to the Obamacare, Medicare, and Social Security cost increases. Thinning the herd may be just the answer they finally come up with.

Hopefully I’ll be long gone before those things become your topics of conversation. 

GOOD LUCK, YOU’LL NEED IT!!

01-27-2014 The New Senior Enlistment Program   3 comments

I’m a former Vet who is now in his sixties and I fondly remember most of my service time both in the United States and overseas. I received the following email from my nephew in Texas, also a former Vet, and it made me laugh out loud.  The fact that some of it makes good sense is beside the point.  I did a little editing to clean it up some and here it is.  I’m considering sending a copy to Mr. Obama.  He’s always looking for a good program or two to shove through Congress.  I use the terminology “shove through” in the most respectful way, of course.

Send to All Vets over 60 Years Old

I‘m over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You currently can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they should be sending us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. “My back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry”, we’re impatient and maybe letting us kill a few assholes  that desperately deserve it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old hates getting up before 10 a.m while us old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell.  Besides, like I said, “I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up and killing some of those fanatical S-O-B’s.”

If captured, we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them.  In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house and away from all the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course as well.  I’ve been in combat and have never seen a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor have I ever done any pushups since completing basic training.  Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy too.  I’ve never seen anyone yet who could outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave, to start up a conversations with pretty girls and he has yet to figure out that a baseball cap has a brim used to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them into harm’s way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowardly terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons coming towards them.  A gang of old mean men who know their best years are already behind them.  Look out.

P.S.  How about recruiting Women over 50 especially those in menopause. You think men have bad attitudes,  OMFG. If nothing else, put them on border patrol, they’ll have it secured the first night.

Yikes!

01-17-2014 Journal Entry–Aging!   Leave a comment

You know, there is a time in your life when you’re forced to deal with getting older.  It’s a little difficult because mentally we all still feel like we’re in our twenties.  As in growing up there’s a process that you must experience and when growing down (aging) you must again go through a somewhat similar but more depressing process, like it or not.  I think it’s just a way for us to slowly over time confront and accept the reality of our mortality.

It really began to bother me a few years ago when I received an email from a former high school class president requesting I attend my 45th high school reunion.  I read the email and never seriously thought about attending.  You see, I hated high school and really had no desire to see any of my former classmates.  I had two close friends during those years and both  have passed away. The first died just months after graduation in a nasty car accident and the second died about twelve years ago during liver transplant surgery. Any old girlfriends with their accompanying sexual adventures have long since been forgotten.

I was given a webpage to visit created by my old classmates that had updated information on just about everyone in the class.  I took a look around the site and the only thing that caught my eye was the death list.  It was a huge shock to see that almost forty percent of my graduating class had passed away.  It was surprising but not totally unexpected.  I adjusted over time to the shock and began to deal with the reality of it.  I never attended any of my class reunions that were held over the years because I preferred to remember my classmates as they were and not be slapped in the face with the new reality of what they are now.  Too damn depressing.

Time goes on and age continues to creep up on you.  You can see and feel the physical changes as they occur and you adjust.  Aches and pains continue to worsen and again you adjust.  You spend a great deal of your life adjusting to changes that you knew were coming but really didn’t take all that seriously. It’s a slow and never-ending shadow in the back of your mind that you try to ignore but can’t.  Every time you have a quiet moment it pops up to let you know the process is continuing.

You’re probably wandering what prompted this depressing monologue so let me explain.  Yesterday I was given some news that at first didn’t shock or surprise me but later kept coming back to haunt me.  My ex-wife of many years had remarried shortly after our divorce and had given birth to a son. We’d been divorced a couple of years but she still made the effort to meet with me because she wanted to introduce me to the boy.  She and I had tried for years to have children but could not.  We met for just a few brief minutes and I held the little guy in my arms for just an instant. Before I knew it they were gone and I never saw either of them again.  That little baby boy now 31 years old had just died from a lethal drug overdose.

Life as always goes on but it was just another reminder of how quickly and easily life can be taken from us.  Sorry about the depressing post but I needed to tell someone about it. No one is exempt from this aging process and I’ve done my part to remind all of you of that fact. Live your life to the fullest every blessed day.  It could end tomorrow.

06-24-2013   6 comments

I spend a great deal of my time these days adapting to a whole list of changes to my life I never anticipated or expected.  I thought that as I grew older things would settle down somewhat and the amount of change I’d be forced to deal with would lessen.  Wrong once again.

One  obvious change that occurs to us all eventually is getting older.  Adjusting to it sounds easy but as all of you will find  out eventually, it isn’t.  You must learn to adapt to your new position in society of being the older person, constantly accused by almost everyone with being out of touch with our current reality.  Even people you know and love begin treating you differently and it can be hurtful.

Everyone assumes that once you reach a certain age you’re all of a sudden a mouth-breathing moron with no working memory.  Snide little comments from loved ones are especially hurtful but you must learn to adapt.  Some seniors become bitter and spiteful only because they can’t think of any better solutions.  Those kind of actions just further that ugly senior stereotype that require the infamous eye-roll or the subtle shoulder shrug between people you’re talking to when you’re not looking.  It’s disrespectful and rude but your hands are tied.  If you confront them then  your being old, difficult, and set in your ways.  If you turn the other cheek it just makes the possibility of it occurring again much more likely.

So here’s a few tips for you seniors out there.  Keep up with all of the Pop Culture nonsense so when someone in their teens or twenties mentions a celebrity you have a clue.  Be able to talk about something other than your current medical conditions.  Fight the stereotype everyday.  If you take a backseat to discussions that make you uncomfortable that’s where you’ll be relegated to stay for the rest of your life. 

Our past memories really don’t interest most people because "it’s all about them”.  Only people your own age can appreciate many of the things from our youth and the drastic differences we now must deal with.  It’s hard work to keep up with  this balls-to-the-wall insanity we call our every day life.  Spend time with people other than other seniors.  Carry on meaningful conversations about politics, relationships, and child rearing.  Not everything we remember is just old-folks reminiscing.  We’ve already experienced this stull and can be helpful if we pass the information along intelligently and not preaching.  No one likes to be preached to.

The following information should make most seniors smile.  If read by anyone younger it would seem to them like they’ve been foraging through an archeological dig in Egypt and found a transcript of life in the days of old.  Read on and learn something if you’re interested, if not don’t.

* * *

HIGH SCHOOL — 1958 vs. 2013

Scenario 1:

Jack goes duck hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.

1958 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2013 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1958 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2013 – Police called and SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They’re both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1958 – Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2013 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The family gets extra money (SSI) from the government because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1958 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2013 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse, Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1958 – Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2013 – The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1958 – Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2013 – Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1958 – Ants die.

2013 – ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents – and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1958 – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2013 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

* * *

Is it any wonder why we at times choose to look back.  This is the reason we occasionally reminisce and really, do you blame us.  If I could go back and do my life over again I sure wouldn’t do it now, in this time and place. Just saying.

06-08-2013   Leave a comment

I have a lot of fun teasing my female readers but I hope they understand that it’s all done with my tongue firmly implanted in my cheek.  I’m positive being a women is no bed of roses these days because almost every women I’ve ever known has spent a great deal of her time and mine telling me about it.  I’m really very sympathetic to their plight but for the most part I have no easy answers or solutions for them.

Here are a few things I know would happen if I were suddenly turned into a warm, soft, built, attractive, and fire breathing woman with a man’s attitude and outlook on life. I suspect that slutiness would have a new poster girl.  I’d find it  extremely difficult to keep my panties on if I actually chose to wear any.  I’d be like that famous women of yore who was known as a real "man eater".  Married women would hate me, single women would envy me, and men would desire me.  I’d give it up (if you know what I mean) at every opportunity much like General Robert E. Lee gave it up at Appomattox. 

Like most women I’d refuse to admit my age and would do everything in my power to remain young looking and sexually active like good old Mae West did.  One of her favorite quotes was "I’m not concerned about the men in my life, it’s the life in my men that worries me."  That’s not an exact quote but you get the idea.  After reading Mae’s quote I decided to search out a few more informative female quotes pertaining to aging and life as a senior.  Here are a few quotes and short poems to help you ladies enjoy this posting even more.

  • Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them.
    ~ Anna Magnani
  • You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
  • After 30, a body has a mind of its own. ~ Bette Midler
  • Getting old ain’t for sissies. ~ Betty Davis
  • It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen. ~ Brigitte Bardot
  • Forget about the past, you can’t change it.
    Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.
    Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one."
    – Unknown
  • Nature gives you the face you have at twenty, but it’s up to you to merit the face you have at fifty. ~ Coco Chanel
  • The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it. ~ Doris Day
  • We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~ Unknown
  • I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. ~ Unknown
  • You’ve had many many birthdays,
    Too many for me to mention,
    But there’s still one or two more
    Before you  draw your pension.
    ~ Unknown
  • Life has got to be lived – that’s all there is to it. At seventy, I would say the advantage is that you take life more calmly. You know that "this, too, shall pass!" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Looking fifty is great–if you’re sixty. ~ Joan Rivers
  • If you survive long enough, you’re revered-rather like an old building. ~ Katherine Hepburn
  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~ Lucille Ball
  • I like my bifocals,
    my dentures fit me fine,
    my hearing aid is perfect,
    but Lord I miss my mind!
    -Unknown
  • I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do. ~ Phyllis Diller
  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. ~ Unknown
  • "They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body." ~ Unknown

As for all of you men out there, don’t worry I’ll be sure to dedicate a posting only for our gender at some future time.  I thought it was only proper to give the ladies their due after  all the fun I’ve been having at their expense in recent weeks.