Archive for the ‘srping’ Tag
‘Owwwww, That Smell”
What do you consider as a day in your life you’d never forget? Is it the day you found a $10.00 bill in a parking lot or is that day you had the best sex of your life? I’m sure that all of us have a few of those memorable days we enjoy looking back on.
Early in my life I decided that the reports of an afterlife were just so much hokum and I needed to approach my life in a manner that reflected that thought. If this existence was all we’d ever have then I needed to aggressively pursue those things I really desired. If I didn’t obtain them and experience them now I’d never get another chance.
I left home for college, then quit college , joined the Army, went to Korea, fell in love, returned to the states, became a cop, got married, hang glided, sky dived, and bungee jumped. Moved to New England, became a businessman, joined Greenpeace, left Greenpeace, started a business, adopted a son and became a long distant cyclist. Stood on the summit of Mt. Washington in a thunder storm with my hands in the air and a prayer on my lips. Became a pretty decent racquetball player, got divorced, sold my home and moved to the coast. Bought a house on the water, bought two ferrets, and partied for two years. Lost my job, sold my house, and moved to Maine. Bought my first digital camera, got a job interviewing criminals, bought another house, met the love of my life, and settled down.
Sounds like a pretty strange and wonderful life so let me tell you what I did yesterday. On a damp and crappy day I spent an hour and a half standing in and shoveling compost. To misquote Robert Duval in the movie Apocalypse Now, "I just love the smell of compost in the morning." There’s nothing quite like the smell of rotting organic material wafting into your nostrils and making your eyes water. It’s sticks to your shoes and later in the day you may even find a few small chunks in the folds of your clothing as a further reminder.
I’m now officially adding that job, COMPOST SHOVELER, to my endless list of dumb-ass jobs and even dumber-ass accomplishments that continue to keep my life so interesting. I guarantee I won’t be looking fondly on today’s task in the future but my memories of that smell are permanent.
‘Live Your Life’
Sixty plus degrees. That’s all I have to say about yesterday. I’m just about over this stupid virus that’s been kicking my ass for the last two weeks. Combine that with the warm weather yesterday and guess what you get. The largest most contagious case of Spring Fever ever experienced. I guess the longer and more oppressive the winter the more intense is that first burst of Spring Fever. Man I’ve got it bad.
I spent a good part of the day yesterday just wandering around the yard in a T-shirt with no gloves, no hat, and no parka. As I slowly strolled between the remaining piles of snow I could see that blessed light at the end of the tunnel and no, it isn’t a train coming toward me it’s Summer.
I couldn’t stop myself from going with the feelings and actually started cleaning up the winter debris strewn about the yard. I picked up tree branches and pine cones of which there were thousands. I’ve never seen so many freaking pine cones in my life and they will certainly require an major investment of my time to pick them all up. That should tell you just how bad my Spring Fever really is that I’m actually looking forward to doing it. I find that a little disturbing to say the least.
I then decided to get my riding mower out of mothballs and ready for use this summer. I filled it with gas, checked the oil, and reconnected the battery. I was just standing there enjoying the warm air when I was overcome with love for that stupid tractor. I hate to admit this but I found some rags, soap, and car wax, and went a little crazy. That tractor got a hot bath and a good scrubbing, was dried off, and waxed to a high sheen. How sad is my life?
I need to pace myself a little better or I’m going to lose my mind. I actually found myself drawn to the seed packet display at Walmart a few days ago. They were silently calling to me to buy, buy, buy. I maintained what little control I had left and just “Said No” and walked away. Unfortunately my better-half is worse that I am when it comes to Spring garden purchasing. We both need some sort of twelve step program to help us through the next two months and to keep us from overspending like we do every blessed year.
I just received a giant package in the mail today and had to help the mail carrier bring the box into the house. It’s the new part I ordered a week ago for my sweetheart, the mower. Now she’ll be even prettier than usual as I cruise around the yard making the neighbors oh so jealous.
Eat your hearts out people, if freaking Spring Time.
My goal today is to give all of you a tip. After you get to a certain age never, I repeat never, make dandelion wine. I know that sounds stupid but let me explain. Over the years I’ve made dandelion wine a few times and it always tastes so incredibly good you might wonder why I’ve only made it a few times. The main reason is the amount of work that goes into making it. It’s a labor intensive project that becomes more difficult as you age.
Yesterday I was out in the garden just walking around and happy to see that everything I’ve planted has broken ground and looking healthy. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts the garden is well underway and my batch of red wine is bubbling happily along. I knew I wanted to make a second batch of wine but really hadn’t decided what it would be. As I was thinking and walking the mail lady pulled into my drive way with a package for me. It was a small order of winemaking materials I recently ordered to replace what had been used on the red wine. It must have been a sign from the wine drinking gods.
As I opened the box to check the order I glanced out the window and noticed that my yard was covered with freshly blooming dandelions. I decided at that moment to make a batch of dandelion wine out of those blossoms found in my yard. I should have had my head examined but foolishly prepared for the project anyway.
I dragged a plastic bag, a pair of latex gloves, and an already sore back into the yard and got to it. Over the next hour I harvested a few thousand dandelion flowers and filled the bag to the top. I started out just bending over to get the blossoms but the sorer my back became the more I thought about calling it a day. It wasn’t long before I was forced to my hands and knees to complete the collection process. One of my latex gloves had torn and that hand was now a bright yellow that took some serious scrubbing to remove. I now had the hands of a thirty-year smoker.
I finished up and returned to the house to try and work out the kinks in my back and neck. Unfortunately the worst was yet to come. I wanted to make at least three gallon of this wine which requires five full cups of petals per gallon. The next step was to sit on the deck for another two hours with with a fresh set of gloves and a huge glass of icy cold Sangria. I sat there and slowly and meticulously began removing the petals from the stems. With my hands painfully cramping I finally reached my goal of fifteen cups of dandelion petals.
“Dr. Frankenstein’s Lab”
To make a long story short, I returned to my man-cave, gathered the remainder of the required ingredients and finally had the batch prepared. I placed the blossoms into two gallons of filtered water and boiled them for twenty minutes making a beautiful golden yellow liquid. I added the other ingredients as well plus seven pounds of granulated sugar and allowed the mixture to cool. That took a few hours and it wasn’t until after dark that I was able to finally able to add the yeast.
If I’m lucking and barring any unforeseen catastrophes, I should get at least 15-17 bottles of a gorgeous golden wine in approximately three and a half months. Was it worth the effort? I’ll let you know as soon as I can use my hands again and I can bend over without screaming.
This had better be the best damn wine ever made.
everyuselessthing.com 