Archive for the ‘stress’ Tag

12-28-2013-PTCS (Post Traumatic Christmas Syndrome)   Leave a comment

I’m about to make you aware of a newly discovered ailment causing much suffering  to the human race.  It’s a lifelong ailment that flares up on the average of once a year to disorient and dismay a large segment of the population.  It’s like herpes with a smile. It’s called by those aware of it’s existence, PTCS, or Post Traumatic Christmas Syndrome.  It begins in November with a certain uneasiness as you see your home begin to fill with boxes of purchases, Christmas cards, and other green and red paraphernalia. After a week your breathing becomes labored as you see the first credit card balances arriving with lists of things you don’t remember buying.  The stress level continues to climb as odd foods show up and containers of candy and fruit cakes magically appear.

This syndrome peaks in December just as your on the verge of total collapse.  All of a sudden things begin to disappear and within days your life is as it once was.  It’s like being in a time warp with four or five lost weeks that you’d rather just forget.  It will take months for you to recuperate and to refill your bank accounts.  Also months of exercise and dieting to lose that ten pounds of body fat that appeared out of nowhere.

It also effects your mind making you happy to have suffered through this terrible time and you can’t wait for the next outbreak.  Unfortunately it’s very contagious and targets the youngest of us almost immediately.  It appears to be an airborne virus spread by physical contact and made even worse  by groups of people who insist on singing together.

It’s insidious!  The children just don’t have a prayer of being spared this affliction that could haunt them for decades.  For hundreds of years certain people have searched for a cure but to no avail. A certain doctor from somewhere in Europe, Dr. I. M. Grinchakowski died a horrible death some years ago when his immunization program went horribly awry and he died from an overdose of frankincense and myrrh.  It was a sad day but the search continues for a cure.

I’m only just beginning to feel the change that’s’ coming.  It was a terrible few months where I was stressed, over fed, and I found myself smiling way too much.  I should be back on my feet by New Years but these strange effects of PTCS could linger for months.

I think we should all hire attorneys and have PTCS declared a disability.  We could limit the government stipend to a once a year payment from Social Security that we’d receive early in December.

Vote Democratic!

09-24-2013   Leave a comment

What better way to start my day.  I’ve been awake for no more than ten minutes just lying here trying to motivate myself into facing the day.  Since my better-half has two days off we decided to sleep in an extra few minutes and relax a little, or at least I did.  What’s the first thing I hear? Is it "Good morning honey" or "Wake up sunshine", of course not.  She calmly rolls over, looks me square in the eye and says "I think I’ll help you with the compost pile tomorrow."  I’m lying in bed looking out the window at the sunshine and thinking about how I’ll miss the warm weather and she’s thinking of a huge pile of compost.  There has to be some sort of message there but I haven’t a clue as to what it might be.

Days off.  When I was one of the working drones eking out a living I relished my days off.  I waited patiently for them to arrive so I could just kick back and enjoy myself.  They were crucial to my mental health and well being and I honestly forced myself not to think about work and the stresses involved there.

My better-half has yet to figure out how to enjoy a day or two without stress.  She just can’t seem to grasp the concept of relaxation.  Even on her days off she’s driven by her list of things to do.  She spends all day accomplishing tasks and if at the end of the day they all haven’t been accomplished, she’s disappointed and upset.  She has a work, work, work attitude and I’ve been trying to convince her to develop the ability to turn off the work mindset as soon as she arrives home.  She’s improved a great deal over the last few years but there’s still a lot room for improvement.

I normally set aside about twenty minutes after she arrives from work for her to vent her frustrations, have a beer, and talk it out.  Once that’s been taken care of she can then move on to her real life and possibly enjoy herself.  I guess I was lucky.  I was always able to turn off the work as soon as I entered my car to go home each night.  I gave almost no thought to it until the next morning when I had no choice but to deal with it again.  My jobs were always stressful and if I took all of that baggage home with me every night I would have lost my mind.

Well, she’s wandered off to get us some coffee but I refuse to leave the bed just yet.  She’s already scurrying around the house to begin her To Do list for the day. I’ll try to coerce her into coming back to bed with my magnetic personality and huge amounts of sex appeal and charm. Don’t you dare grin or laugh, it’s all true.  I hear the washing machine being turned on so maybe I’ve already waited too long to make my move.  I guess that’s the real story of my life.

Oh no, here she comes now, my own little energize bunny sweeping through the bedroom, dumping out the hamper, and then gone in a swirl of dirty clothes and the smell of laundry detergent.  Too late again.  I’ll try one more time to slow her down but it could get ugly.  I can see an extended middle finger in my future.

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