I’ve been infected with that same disease I get every year at this time. It always seems to take me by surprise which I don’t really understand. It’s a deceptive little virus that kind of sneaks up on me . . . it’s called Spring Fever. All I really give a damn about is getting out of the house, standing in fresh air, feeling the sun on my face, and being able to walk along a beach. Is it any wonder why I can’t seem to concentrate on anything else?
I’ve been doing a lot of internet surfing and perusing through my collection of books recently and have happened upon a huge steaming pile of ridiculously stupid trivia that anyone in their right mind could care less about. That’s the reason I decided to share it with you.
These tidbits are in no particular order of importance, just a whole lot of true nonsense.
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Odds of being killed in a tornado – 1 in 2 million.
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You use more calories eating celery than there are in the celery itself.
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Odds of being killed by falling out of bed – 1 in 2 million.
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It only takes 7 pounds of pressure to rip your ear off.
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On average, there are 178 sesame seeds on each McDonalds Big Mac bun.
Did you ever think you’d see the day when someone would count the seeds on a Big Mac, then put that info on the Net where I could find it and pass it on to you. It must be fate.
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In the past year your hair will most likely have grown 12 cm and your nail about 4 cm.
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There are 1 million ants for every person in the world.
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Odds of being killed by a dog – 1 in 700,000.
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World population has grown by around 76,570,430 since your last birthday. In the time it takes you to read this another five babies will have been born.
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13 people are killed each year by vending machine’s falling on them.
Stay alert when you assaulting your next vending machine. They’ll get you if your not careful.
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Odds of being killed by poisoning – 1 in 86,000.
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314 Americans had buttock lift surgery in 1994.
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If you counted 24 hours a day, you would be over 31,000 years old when you reach one trillion.
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Odds of being killed in a car crash – 1 in 5,000.
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There are more than 1,000 chemicals in a cup of coffee.
This should help all of you to really enjoy that next hot cup of morning chemicals.
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If you played all of the Beatles’ singles and albums that came out between 1962 and 1970 back to back, it would only last for 10 hours and 33 minutes.
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Odds of dying while in the bath tub – 1 in 1 million.
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Experts at Intel say that microprocessor speed will double every 18 months for at least 10 years.
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The Apollo 11 only had 20 seconds of fuel when it landed.
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Odds of being killed in a plane crash -1 in 25 million.
I guess all the propaganda we’ve heard for years about the safety of air travel is true. The odds are certainly better than those for car accident deaths.
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Driving 55 miles (88 km) per hour instead of 65 miles (105 km) per hour increases your car mileage by about 15%.
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The average person flexes the joints in their finger 24 million times during a lifetime.
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1/3 of all cancers are sun related.
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If we had the same mortality rate now as in 1900, more than half the people in the world today would not be alive.
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Airbags explode at 200 miles per hour.
Let’s hope none of us have to experience an airbag situation. They can keep you alive during a collision and then break your damn neck at the same time.
Twenty-nine more useless facts you can use to win bar bets.
I’ll start off to day talking about consumerism. I didn’t realize just how much of a consumer I actually was until I began tracking my purchases and saving every receipt. I’ve been doing that for years now and every so often as I’m entering that end-of-month information into a spreadsheet I’m forced to admit my somewhat excessive consumer issues. Once each month I find myself standing next to a trash can filled with receipts and that has to tell me something.
That being said as I was reading yesterday I discovered that in comparison I might not be as bad as I first thought. I noticed that as bad as we American seem to be when it comes to crass consumerism the Japanese make us look like a bunch of amateurs. Here’s a collection of tidbits on the Japanese and their quirky approach to retailing and consumption.
“In Tokyo, Japan there are vending machines that dispense frozen meat, jewelry, and even dating information.”
“A company in Kyoto, Japan, makes waterproof books for students who like to study in the bath.”
“Kanebo, a cosmetic company in Japan, has developed a line of panty-hose that are embedded with vitamins and special scents that are released when worn.”
I know you thought I was kidding, right! Those crazy fun loving Japanese will merchandise and sell just about anything.
Next I’ll address a subject that has always fascinated me. Synchronicity! I’ve firmly believed for most of my life that there are no such things as coincidences. As a former extensively trained investigator it’s been proven time and time again to my satisfaction. Unfortunately there have been a few random times that "synchronicity" has reared it’s ugly head and I had no logical explanation.
Two days ago my better-half and I were taking a walk near our home when a passing motorist stopped to tell us about a large turtle she saw crossing the road. She was concerned it might be hit by a car and had turned around to check on it. I walked a short distance and found the turtle scrambling from the highway and helped him along in his travels to get off the road.
We returned to our house and I sat down at the computer to check on a few things on-line. On Facebook I found an entry from my step-daughters husband who was traveling for work and happened upon what else, a freaking turtle on the road. He posted a photograph of himself parked along a highway and assisting the rather large turtle to cross the road to avoid the dangers of oncoming traffic.
A synchronistic moment to be sure. I’ve had a few other startling incidents like this during my life for which I have no reasonable answers or explanations. Just saying.
Lastly, I finally finished the renovation of my wine-making area. I’d been wanting to complete this job for years and finally was able to get it done. It should make bottling and handling of my wine a much easier process than in the past.
That’s all I have for today but I thought I’d pass along a few tidbits of wisdom from Jeff Foxworthy. In the Army we called this process “Knowing Your Enemy”. If this offends anyone out there just remember I’m just doing my part in adding a little humor to a humorless situation. So get over it.
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Have you ever wondered why it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians) etc., but its insensitive to make jokes about Muslims? We need to level the playing field for the sake of political correctness . . .
Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims
1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, you may be a Muslim.
2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes, you may be a Muslim.
3. If you have more wives than teeth, you may be a Muslim.
4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, you may be a Muslim.
5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide,you may be a Muslim
6. If you can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared jihad against,you may be a Muslim.
7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, you may be a Muslim.
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, you may be a Muslim.
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, you may be a Muslim.
10. If you find this offensive and don’t forward it, you may be a Muslim.
THERE YOU HAVE IT!
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