Archive for the ‘muslims’ Tag
To quote an expert, Gary Rimmer, “Number freaking is the art of putting numbers where none existed before. It is an off-the-wall peek at how numbers rule our lives. Number freaking reveals the low drama, unexpected realities, unforeseen truths and even comic connections that emerge when numbers are tested to destruction . . . ” So let’s get started with a few examples.
- If you would spend 80 minutes a night staying with your child, watching them fall asleep, for 7 1/2 years, your total number of hours would total approximately 3652.50.
- It would take Bill Gates earning $55.05 a second – approximately 26 seconds to earn an average Americans weekly wage.
- If your girlfriend weighed 152 pounds, in New York prices she would be worth $896,200 in gold.
- On Tuesday, August 31, 2004, at 1 a.m. EDT, the United States was exactly 2,000,000 hours old.
- Globally, life expectancy at birth, for men is 65 years. If we assume they start thinking about sex at puberty, that means they’ll think about sex approximately every 6 seconds for 52 years. If this is true, a man in his lifetime will think about sex 2.73 million times.
- A pious Muslim is supposed to sport a beard at least the width of the fist. Assuming a man’s fist is at least 3 1/2 inches wide, it would take 233 days to grow a Sharia-compliant beard.
- If a man spends an average of 5 minutes a day shaving, it computes to 1735 hours or 72.3 days in his lifetime.
- According to Oxfam, 1000 people die each hour from hunger-most of them before their fifth birthday. 1200 children under the age of five die each year from preventable disease. In addition, a child dies every 15 seconds from lack of water and sanitation. The total number of deaths worldwide therefore every hour, from preventable disease, hunger and poor sanitation is 2,440. If 2,440 people were to die every hour, in a year there would be 21,389,000 dead from preventable disease, hunger and poor sanitation.
- The average smoker in America smokes 13 cigarettes a day. One of the maxims of the antismoking lobby is that every cigarette smoked knocks 11 minutes. off their life. So, the average American smoker will lose 36 days, 6 hours, 30 minutes, and 45 seconds for every year of smoking.
How’s that for some off-the-wall statistics. As with most statistics, the numbers are approximations, but it doesn’t change the fact that the basic underlying rule is true. How sad is that? Maybe next time I’ll rant on the unscrupulous way in which our politicians use statistics to convince us of whatever they want.
ENJOY YOUR DAY OF REST
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I thought today I’d look into a little more history because that’s what I love to do. For years I was obsessed with reading about the Roman Empire and all of the associated craziness that went on during those years but it’s time to move on to the Middle Ages. To say it wasn’t a great time to be alive would be an understatement, those folks were crazy. I’m going to summarize a number of things that went on during that time and you’ll all be glad that you weren’t there.
Christian Charity 1505
The new Portuguese viceroy, Francisco D’Almeida, sailed for India via the east coast of Africa. His men mutilated every Arab they found, cutting off the right hands of the man and the ears and noses of the women. Arriving in Goa, they proceeded to slaughter all 8000 Muslims in the city.
Over-Armed 1516
The Turks armed one of their galleys with an artillery piece so massive that when it went into action against the Portuguese, the recoil of the gun causing the vessel to capsized killing many of the crew.
Additional Christian Charity 1533
Faced with the prospect of being burned to death by the Spanish, Atahuallpa, the last emperor of the Incas, converted to Christianity. He was thus spared being burned at the stake and was then publicly garroted instead.
The Witch with Three Breasts 1536
Henry VIII’s second wife, Anne Boleyn, was beheaded, having been accused of adultery, incest, and witchcraft. In support of this last charge, it is said that she not only had 11 fingers on one hand but also three breasts – although the third nipple, supposedly used for suckling the devil, was actually a mole on her neck.
Assaulted by the Amazons 1542
On his epic voyage down the Amazon, Francisco de Orellana was attacked by a tribe of tall, white women, whose private parts were covered but otherwise unclothed. It was in honor of these warrior women that he gave the Amazon River its name.
That’s just five easy examples as to why no one would ever have wanted to live in the Middle Ages. The more I read about it, the worse it gets. Today the Christians claim that the Muslims are rabid-dog killers, but history reveals that the Christians were just as bad. I guess I’ll count my blessings that I live in an age where I don’t need a religious label to determine how I feel about things. I’m up to my neck in more examples like these and at some point, in the future, I’ll post a few more tidbits but it’s truly depressing as hell. The biggest mistake as I see it is never to mix religion and politics. It absolutely brutal.
RELIGION IS THE BEST (SARCASM OFF)
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I’m sitting up in my bed and the electric blanket has been resurrected once again. The nights are chilling down dramatically as reflected by my new morning wardrobe. A heavy robe, wool socks, sweat pants, and an extra cup of steaming hot coffee. Things like that can only be properly appreciated while sitting up in bed at a minimum of level 4 on the electric blanket. Just saying.
Last night no one really wanted to cook the evening meal so we made a trek to the Maine Mall to window shop, eat some almost nutritious food at the food court, and possibly spend a little money. Forgetting that it was a Saturday night was mistake number one. The place was packed with large numbers of rude people all rushing around, pushing, shoving, and generally being ridiculous. I also realized something else as we walked around observing many groups of teenagers huddled here and there looking for things to do. I’m truly glad I’m not married and don’t have any young daughters to worry about.
Any parent that permits their daughter to loiter around any mall just boggles my mind. If any daughter of mine insisted on hanging out at a mall with her friends I’m afraid of what my reaction might be. I can see myself in a tacky disguise scurrying around the mall, hiding behind plants, just to keep an eye on the activities of her and her friends. There are way too many unthinkable possibilities just waiting to happen in this kind of atmosphere.
I was in dire need of a few new T-shirts and was intent on finding some. We visited a store called ‘The Hot Topic’ where we seemed to be a little out of place. It’s very much like a ‘Spencer’s’ without all of the sexual paraphernalia. My better-half and I were the only people in that crowded store over the age of 25. I made my way to the back wall because I’d been told they have offer quite the collection of T-Shirts made with images of vintage rock groups.
I decided some time ago to make a few changes to my boring wardrobe. I concocted a few new rules to help make my life a little easier when it comes to making a personal fashion statement.
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No more white T-shirts of any kind. Being as clumsy as I am makes white t-shirts a nightmare. Everything I eat eventually leaves it’s mark somewhere on the front of the shirt..
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No more stupid or cute sayings on my shirts. It make me either look stupid or uncute.
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Buy only T-shirts about classic musical groups. There aren’t any current groups I’d allowed to be displayed on this body.
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No more extra-large shirts. I’m now just a large and proud of it.
I found a few shirts (see the photo’s) I absolutely loved, made my purchases and we headed to the food court.
It’s a place with long lines, plastic sporks, and borderline delicious foods. There were representative kiosks from most Asians cultures as well as many of the standard American calorie and fat factories. We pigged out on a selection or two from Arby’s because the lines for Chinese food were too damn long.
I think it’s quite possible the decline of this county was part of a well planned attack initiated many decades ago by the Chinese. I’ll bet years ago they decided as a first step towards invasion to build as many Chinese restaurants as they could in the US and get a large majority of the population addicted to their food. If by chance over the next decade we begin to see Islamic restaurants springing up everywhere it could mean only one thing. Eventually this country will be the prize that goes to the winner of the Chinese/Muslim food wars.
With indigestion in our near future we left the confines of the mall and headed home. That Arby’s feast was so good it keep coming back up all night reminding us just how good it really wasn’t.
Lesson learned, no more fast food from the food court.
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I’ll start off to day talking about consumerism. I didn’t realize just how much of a consumer I actually was until I began tracking my purchases and saving every receipt. I’ve been doing that for years now and every so often as I’m entering that end-of-month information into a spreadsheet I’m forced to admit my somewhat excessive consumer issues. Once each month I find myself standing next to a trash can filled with receipts and that has to tell me something.
That being said as I was reading yesterday I discovered that in comparison I might not be as bad as I first thought. I noticed that as bad as we American seem to be when it comes to crass consumerism the Japanese make us look like a bunch of amateurs. Here’s a collection of tidbits on the Japanese and their quirky approach to retailing and consumption.
“In Tokyo, Japan there are vending machines that dispense frozen meat, jewelry, and even dating information.”
“A company in Kyoto, Japan, makes waterproof books for students who like to study in the bath.”
“Kanebo, a cosmetic company in Japan, has developed a line of panty-hose that are embedded with vitamins and special scents that are released when worn.”
I know you thought I was kidding, right! Those crazy fun loving Japanese will merchandise and sell just about anything.
Next I’ll address a subject that has always fascinated me. Synchronicity! I’ve firmly believed for most of my life that there are no such things as coincidences. As a former extensively trained investigator it’s been proven time and time again to my satisfaction. Unfortunately there have been a few random times that "synchronicity" has reared it’s ugly head and I had no logical explanation.
Two days ago my better-half and I were taking a walk near our home when a passing motorist stopped to tell us about a large turtle she saw crossing the road. She was concerned it might be hit by a car and had turned around to check on it. I walked a short distance and found the turtle scrambling from the highway and helped him along in his travels to get off the road.
We returned to our house and I sat down at the computer to check on a few things on-line. On Facebook I found an entry from my step-daughters husband who was traveling for work and happened upon what else, a freaking turtle on the road. He posted a photograph of himself parked along a highway and assisting the rather large turtle to cross the road to avoid the dangers of oncoming traffic.
A synchronistic moment to be sure. I’ve had a few other startling incidents like this during my life for which I have no reasonable answers or explanations. Just saying.
Lastly, I finally finished the renovation of my wine-making area. I’d been wanting to complete this job for years and finally was able to get it done. It should make bottling and handling of my wine a much easier process than in the past.
That’s all I have for today but I thought I’d pass along a few tidbits of wisdom from Jeff Foxworthy. In the Army we called this process “Knowing Your Enemy”. If this offends anyone out there just remember I’m just doing my part in adding a little humor to a humorless situation. So get over it.
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Have you ever wondered why it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians) etc., but its insensitive to make jokes about Muslims? We need to level the playing field for the sake of political correctness . . .
Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims
1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, you may be a Muslim.
2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes, you may be a Muslim.
3. If you have more wives than teeth, you may be a Muslim.
4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, you may be a Muslim.
5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide,you may be a Muslim
6. If you can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared jihad against,you may be a Muslim.
7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, you may be a Muslim.
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, you may be a Muslim.
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, you may be a Muslim.
10. If you find this offensive and don’t forward it, you may be a Muslim.
THERE YOU HAVE IT!
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