12-18-2012   Leave a comment

The Christmas season has taken an unusual and unexpected turn.  I’m all for enjoying our local traditions but never in a million years did I expect to have an Indian Christmas.  That’s Indian with a dot on the forehead not the Apache’s or Iroquois.

I mentioned yesterday we were were in the process of receiving between eight and ten inches of fresh, lovely, and white snow.  A magnificent White Christmas was upon us.  Wrong again.  What I wasn’t expecting was the three inches of rain that followed and the four foot deep flooded backyard.  It’s monsoon season here in Maine and nobody told me it was coming.  Our White Christmas has been washed away leaving the gray and dismal landscape that no one wants to see.  I suppose that a Christmas day that was to be filled with those holiday films that my better-half loves so much will be replaced by a few selections of  Bollywood favorites.  How about Lage Raho Munna Bhai a perennial favorite or Chala Murari Hero Banne, a real lover of dance toe tapper.

Maybe I’ll have my better-half dress in a pair of harem pants and do a dance for me before dinner around the Christmas tree.  That would certainly surprise, please, and possibly frighten our visiting family members. It would also give excellent photo opportunities for next years family Christmas card.  I have to say that with proper lighting and the camera at just the right angle she could be mistaken for a somewhat older version of Aishwarya Rai.  Whatever you do don’t tell her I said that because her ego’s already over inflated.

Enough of my ramblings.  We’re off for our final shopping safari to pick up a few last minute gifts.  Just when I thought I was finished with this craziness I’m dragged back into it by the obsessed Christmas elf.  Hopefully sometime this morning she will just run out of money.  That would be nothing short of spectacular. 

I’m having a good day so far.  No Christmas carols playing in my head and no Christmas movies on the tube.  Unfortunately I have the song O Womaniya running through my brain.  It’s a special and popular selection from that Bollywood blockbuster, Gangs of Wasseypur.  I really need to go to bed earlier and to stay away from that Indian movie channel.

Six more shopping days until Christmas.  I’ll need to pick up a box of ‘diyas’ to keep my Indian Christmas theme alive.  For those you who don’t know, ‘diyas’ are small candles used for decorating the home during Indian Christmas celebrations.  Goodbye for now.

Christmas Ki Khushiyan Mubarak Ho

Posted December 19, 2012 by Every Useless Thing in Humor

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